The request is above. (I switched panic attack with some sort of mental breakdown.)

(A/N: its 12:23AM, its basically midnight. plz excuse any mistakes)

(November 17th, 2019)

Word Count: 1420 words
Category: hurt/comfort
Warnings: none

Xisuma ran a hand through his hair. His latest video had done well. It was the first video he's recorded without his helmet on. He didn't read the comments out of fear of the people thinks. Xisuma decided to read them later.

He slid his helmet back on and flew out of his base. To be honest, he loved flying. He may not be as good as Grian, but he still is still very skilled in the art of flying.

Xisuma twisted in and around many stores. He grinned, feeling like a little kid again. He kept flying, and what felt like only a few minutes, an hour had passed. He checked his watch, and saw that there were only 10 minutes until the monthly meeting began.

Heading to the meeting place (this time, Scar offered to host it), Xisuma looked over the beautiful ocean. He suddenly felt like a sense of dread in his stomach. He tried to ignore it, but it was too great to. He also tried to wave the feeling off, distracting himself with admiring Scar's terraforming skills. He landed, amazed at the landscape.

Xisuma was one of the first Hermits to arrive. He smiled at Scar, who waved at him. Xisuma realized that he had his helmet on, and waved his hand while facepalming with other.

"Why...?" Scar began to ask.

"I realized I had my helmet on, but I smiled in response to your wave." Xisuma explained, laughing. Scar laughed with him as more Hermits entered the room. Over the next few minutes, the meeting room filled with Hermits. As the meeting started, Mumbo slipped in and snuck to his seat.

"Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence and to actually show up." Scar commented.

"Well-" Mumbo began, stopping himself. He shook his head and smiled. Everyone laughed then the meeting went on like how it normally does. How is everyone doing (mentally, physically, ect.), how are videos going, amount of progress, things like that.

Throughout the duration of the meeting, Xisuma said very little. No one really noticed, though, He also noticed that everyone had something planned with someone, and there was even a group of people doing one thing later. Xisuma was in none of the groups. Xisuma felt quite left out. He didn't pay attention to the rest of the meeting.

When Xisuma walked out of the room, he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He turned to soo Doc looking down at him. He looked up at Doc, because being a foot shorter has it's problems.

"Uhm, do you need something, Doc?"

"... you didn't say anything during the meeting. That is most unlike you, but recently you have been distant." He said.

"Uh-"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Doc. But, thanks for your concern." Doc narrowed his eyes, his robotic eye flashing ever so slightly. He turned and flew off. Xisuma sighed and turned the corner, hearing voices.

"Hey, Iskall, Mumbo, and Grian. Are you doing anything later?" He heard Ren ask.

"Yeah, actually we are. Why?" Iskall said,

"Oh, I was just bored."

"I think Xisuma is free, why don't you ask him?" Grian questioned.

"Well, he's been quiet lately. I don't think it's a good idea to bother him right now. Might not be in a good mood."

"Ask him anyway. He might want company." Mumbo said.

"Nah, I don't wanna get on his bad side. Ever seen that admin mad? It's scary..." Xisuma walked away, exhaling forcefully. He tried telling himself that Ren didn't mean to offend him.

But it didn't work, and those self-crippling, negative thoughts returned after many years.

Xisuma flew back to his base, thinking about what to do now. He decided to read those comments from his video. Xisuma realized he had to read those eventually.

'The hair looks great, Xisuma! I don't know why you were so worried.'

'We'll always support you, Xisuma!'

'Another step in developing your character. It's coming along nicely. Good work!'

These were the types of comments Xisuma smiled at. Of course there were a few random ones, but these were slightly normal. But, like any normal video, there were those toxic ones. There were many, but one caught his eye.

'Dear lord. No wonder you wore that helmet. Keep it on, it'll save all our eyes.'

Xisuma closed his eyes and set the communicator down. He tried to ignore the feeling of anger and rage growing in his chest, attempting to push it down.

He got up, looking for a mirror. Finding a smaller mirror hung up on a back wall, he walked up to it and stared at his reflection. Xisuma ripped his signature helmet off his head . He looked at it, before smashing it onto the mirror.

Xisuma didn't realize that he was so angry because along with the mirror, his purple face shield had shattered too. He dropped the helmet into the pile of shares and ran. He launched himself up and rocketed into the sky, hair and all blowing dramatically in the wind.

Xisuma landed in a cave, putting his back against the wall. He didn't go very far in it. He could reach out and touch the sunlight, but decided to stay in the shade. Bringing his legs to his chest, he hugged them tightly. After staring at the wall for a few minutes, silent tears slowly rolled down his face. He wiped them away, sniffing loudly, then returning to the same position. He was noticeable shaking.

It seemed like a couple hours (and it probably was), until Xisuma heard fireworks. He put his head down into his arms and squeezed his legs close to his chest.

"Xisuma!" He heard. He also heard footsteps running towards him.

"Xisuma!" The voice repeated. "Hey, mate, I knew something was wrong earlier." Xisuma looked up. Doc's concerned and relieved face looked back at him. He was knelt in front of Xisuma at eye level, putting his hands on Xisuma's shoulders. Doc gave him a squeeze of support and and maybe even relief.

"We tried finding you earlier. When we went to your base, we got extremely scared." Doc explained. Xisuma decided not to say anything and to not make eye contact.

"A broken mirror and your helmet that was shattered scared the life out of us. Literally. Scar and Ren got so scared they forgot how to fly and both crashed." Xisuma shook his head, sighing silently but noticeably.

"Grian is trying to fix your helmet. I know there wasn't any technology in that part, it was just glass. Anyway, he's mixing colors and trying to make the same colored glass as it was before."

"H-he," Xisuma cleared his throat, voice dry from lack of use. "He d-doesn't have t-to."

"And he knows, but he said he wanted to because he feels bad that he hasn't been talking to you. Have you seen the projects he's been working on?" Xisuma shook his head. "Well, your missing out." Doc looked at Xisuma again. "So... what's wrong? This," Doc gestured to Xisuma as a whole. "This isn't like you. You're not alright. So tell me, what's wrong?" Xisuma looked like he was going to break down again. Doc, extremely awkward at hugs usually because of his height, hugged Xisuma anyway. Xisuma softly cried into Doc's shoulder.

By the time Xisuma had stopped, he had fallen asleep. Doc picked Xisuma up very easily and flew back to Xisuma's base, where the rest of the Hermits were waiting. Grian stepped forward, holding Xisuma's helmet out, repaired to look better than new. No one knew what he changed since it definitely looks slightly different, but Grian refuses to say what he added. He said he'll only tell Xisuma because it's his.

Doc set Xisuma in his bed, careful to not disturb him again. Grian set his helmet down on the bed stand besides Xisuma, the perfect 'get well' gift.

After talking with each other for the second time in the day, they realized Xisuma was so exhausted that flying over an ocean wouldn't wake him up. He just hid it so well that no one, not even False, noticed. They knew that Xisuma was a good actor, but not to where no one would see that he needed rest.

Well, you learn something new everyday, huh.