3am angst [EX]
(February 25, 2020)
I give up on chapter titles.
Word Count: 722
Category: angst
Warnings: implied character death
Just an unfinished concept I had and wrote at 3am.
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He should have told someone. Why did he listen to his stupid brain? His stupid past self, not letting anyone know so he could die alone, as if he deserved it.
Evil X didn't want to die alone.
But he also didn't know what he wanted.
Maybe he wished there was a group of people gathered around his bed, begging him to stay awake. He wished someone would hold his face in their hands, their tears dropping onto him as they sobbed their woes. Perhaps they would shake his shoulder, convincing him that there is some way he can avoid the permadeath. They could fix his code so his natural permadeath was later, so he had more time to do what he wanted, so he could make amends and die happy.
Or maybe he just wanted one person sitting at his bedside, holding his hand and running their fingers through his hair, and whispering quietly but comfortingly, reassuring him that it'll be alright, that everything will be okay, that he'll be okay. Maybe they'd tell him that despite everything he did, despite all that he was hated for, he was loved and he will be missed. He wouldn't be forgotten and his death wouldn't be celebrated.
Evil X's blurry eyes then swept the pathetic bedroom. His pathetic, empty, bedroom. The silence—bar his labored breathing and muffled sobs—laughed at him, almost as if it were proving that no one was there, that no one cared enough to stop by and see if he's okay.
No one ever stopped by, who was he kidding? What was he expecting? No one ever came by for company, nor did anyone ever ask how he was doing.
Evil X laughed at himself. (Silently, because anything other than a sob hurt.) Who was he to be expect that anyone would come by at the drop of a hat? Who was he to expect anyone would come by to visit after months upon months of no one making an attempt?
After all, he was just some glitched player that shouldn't expect the world to revolve around him.
Goodness, he didn't know how long he laid there, staring at the ceiling and crying at his pathetic situation.
It felt like hours an probably was if he hadn't fallen asleep yet. Three hours to be exact--well, according to the timer on his communicator. He still hadn't found a way to hide it.
Evil X took a shaky breath, his body shivering and shaking. He trembled violently with silent sobs. This was it, this was it, he was going to die right here right now with no one by his side and no one will know until the server sends the death message to everyone's communicator-
The door slammed open, and he could have sworn he heard it splinter.
"Evil Xisuma!"
Odd. Evil X heard that voice every day. It came from his own throat. But he didn't say anything, why would he shout his own name?
Something warm grasped his hand, and another warm thing settled on his cheek.
"Evil X, please, look at me," the same person pleaded, gently shaking his hand. He hesitantly pried his eyes open. His twin's face filled his vision, anguish etched into his expression. Evil X pulled away at that unfitting look—or, well, as much as he could. The Admin finally showing another emotion other than a positive or serious emotion after so long? No, he didn't like it. Anguish didn't deserve to be on his face.
Xisuma shook him out of his thoughts (literally and figuratively), repeating a question for the second... may be third time.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
Instead of answering, Evil X weakly reached up, patting X's head. He missed the first time and barely managed to land the second attempt. With a shaking hand, Xisuma grabbed and held his wrist close to his chest.
"Please, Evil X, why didn't you say anything? Would you rather die alone?"
He comprehended no words that came from Xisuma's mouth.
"I told you I would listen to you if you needed it, why didn't you say anything?"
"'m... sorry, Xi-suma," Evil X whispered.
He allowed his eyes to flutter close, his body stilling with his breath.
And he let out his final breath.
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I'm gonna write fluff eventually. Eventually.
Thank you for reading, have a great day.
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