|=====|=====|

Tango: You wanna get a bite to eat?

Zed: Sure. Impulse too?

Tango: Haven't seen him in a while. I don't think he's awake right now.

Impulse, in a domino mask, from atop the fridge: You'd be incorrect in that conjecture, TangoTek.

Tango: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST–

|=====|=====|

Bdubs, before Grian joined: Apperently we're getting a new Hermit

Keralis: Are we stealing them?

Doc: New or used?

Bdubs: Wonderful responses, both of you

|=====|=====|

Joe, looking up at the full moon: It's the perfect night for a werewolf to come out!

Ren: I'm gay

|=====|=====|

Wels: I just ended a four year relationship.

Hypno: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

Wels: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship

*Hels and Ex fighting from across the room*

|=====|=====|

Ex: *babbling cutely in their sleep*

Hels: *rolls over and cuddles up to Ex so it can wrap its hand over their mouth* *

Hels, whispering into their ear: shut the fuck up

|=====|=====|

Mumbo: I always sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Iskall: Weak. I always sleep with a gun.

Grian: You're both pathetic.

Iskall: Really? What do you sleep with?

Grian: Doc.

|=====|=====|

BadTimes: You have friends, and I envy that.

Scar: You're welcome to share my friends.

BadTimes: *looks at Cub and and the other Hermits*

BadTimes: I don't want those.

|=====|=====|

TFC: We need to distract these guys

X: Leave it to me

X: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Cleo, False and Stress: *immediately begin arguing*

TFC, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all

|=====|=====|

xB: I love sleepovers

Jevin: This isn't a sleepover, you're in the hospital

xB: Then what is this sweet party drink?

Cub: That's a blood transfusion. I'm giving it to you so you don't die.

xB: Truth or dare

Jevin:

Cub:

Jevin: ...Dare

|=====|=====|

Biffa: I have an idea.

Beef: Your last idea was murder.

Etho: LET THE MAN SPEAK!

|=====|=====|

False: Fruits that do not live up to their names: passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew, dragonfruit.

False: Fruits that do live up to their names?

False: Orange.

|=====|=====|

Stress: You can't just throw money at all your problems.

Cleo: *throws a wad of cash at Stress' face* bet.

|=====|=====|

Wels: you've got to learn to love yourself

X: don't you hate yourself??

Wels: yeah but this is about you, stay focused

|=====|=====|

Impulse: What the hell is going on in here?

Zed: Tango's trying to steal my sandwich!

Tango: Well, we both ordered meatball subs, but they only delivered one. It's mine!

Impulse: Guys, guys! Look, just go to the sub shop and get a second sandwich.

Zed: Leave?

Tango: Are you insane?

Impulse: Fine, cut the damn sandwich in half.

Tango: And then what, genius? We each eat a six-inch sub?

Zed: Two and a half meatballs apiece!?

Tango: Are we children?

Zed: What is this, Russia?

|=====|=====|

*at Grian's funeral*

Mumbo: Can I have a moment alone?

X: Of course, take all the time you need

Mumbo, leaning over the coffin as soon as he leaves: Listen I know you're not dead

Grian: Yeah no shit

|=====|=====|

Scar: How the hell are you still alive?

BadTimes: Honestly, I'm just as confused as you are.

|=====|=====|

Hels: Who has wronged you?

Wels: You ask me that? Are you brainless? Do you have any brain at all?

|=====|=====|

Ex: I invented a chess opening called the lovers gambit where you toss the pieces aside and start kissing your opponent on the table

Ex: does anyone want to play chess?

|=====|=====|

Jevin: Hypno taught me to think before I act.

Jevin: ...so if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

|=====|=====|

xB: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it's so romantic. 2 lovers on a date.... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

|=====|=====|

False and Cleo: 3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Stress: Guys, it's not even midnight yet, can you stop saying that every time the microwave goes off?

|=====|=====|

Joe: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

TFC: It's usually an oncoming train.

Joe: Could you just not try to kill my vibe for five seconds?

|=====|=====|

Ren: Doc is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Why you ask? Because I've caught him 5 times now trying to train raccoons to fight.

Doc: You'll be thanking me when the 3rd racoon battalion saves your ass...

|=====|=====|

Cub: I would rather die than help you.

Jevin: Oh, don't be boring. Everybody who says that dies.

|=====|=====|

Etho: Welcome to Hurtin Hermits! Please leave your sanity and common sense at the door.

X: Won't I need those?

Etho: Not anymore.

|=====|=====|

Today's Question:

What would you genetically change about humans to make them a better species?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Until the next time, bye! ~Mors