Motivation
I lay on my bed. I'm not tired.

Why am I laying here? Is there not something I could do? I'm just wasting time. So much time.

But why get out of bed? What's the point? The day will be the same. Work, eat, spend some time with others sometimes, sleep. It'll end the same, going to bed like nothing happened. Then the next day will come, rinse, repeat, like nothing ever happened.

Well everyone thinks I'm still sleeping. Might as well go on my phone and

No, this won't go anywhere. This is a stupid idea. It's like a vent, but not.

But this is the 5th story I've deleted because I didn't feel confident about it! I just want to write, but why can't I do it?

I'm sure I'll come up with an idea eventually. So, what's been going on recently? Maybe I should write a nice fluffy happy story so people think I'm in a good mood. But I kinda feel like writing sad angst-

No, I do that too much. What is a good story I could write that people would actually like?

No, I can't write a good story that people will actually like... I'll just put it off until I figure something out.

Maybe I should finish this story...? No, it's stupid. I'm sure people are tired of it by now. I think I'll just go back to whatever stupid thing I was doing before. Roleplaying, watching YouTube, and wasting my time overall. It's all I can make myself do anyway because I'm so worthless.

Wait, what am I doing? I'm just complaining again. Then writing it and publishing it so people will pity me. Gosh, I'm such an attention seeker. I should just delete this...

No, I've deleted it so many times. Maybe I'll just?

This will just bring attention to me and make people worry about me when I'm perfectly completely fine! There's no point! I should just leave this and go lay down on the floor and do nothing. At least it's better use of my time than being an idiot.

Ugh, I'm so indecisive. That's why I never get any work done!

No! I'm not depressed. I'm happy!

I'm happy! I'm happy!

My therapist and parents say that if you read or hear something enough times then you'll believe it.

I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy I'm happy

Am I happy now?

I dunno. What does happy even feel like?

Gosh, I'm just wasting my time. Might as well just publish whatever I have and make a stupid excuse or something. Everyone will be disappointed. Maybe I should just give up.

No... I'm sure people are happy with just the ideas I think.

I'm giving myself too much slack. I'm such an unorganized mess! I barely finish or carry out any of these ideas and just spurt out a bunch of trash stories constantly. I should just quit.

But I still like the people here... whatever. I'll just publish my trash because I can.