Draco took great stretching strides through the snow and away from the Shrieking Shack. His heart was pounding and his body was burning; the warmth in such contrast to what he usually had inside him. He had left everything good about him in that shack along with everything that he could ever hope for; but Draco had learned that hope and trust are luxuries that even he could not afford. He headed back to the castle tearing himself apart as he walked further and further away from her.

The feeling that she gave him just emphasised his agony without her. His mind flashed to Pansy; perhaps he could use her as a distraction. At the same time as feeling as though it would help him, he couldn’t help but feel bad that she came to mind after the moments he had just spent with Hermione. He remembered her hand on his arm, how fragile her body felt in his arms. He couldn’t even explain how amazing it was.

She felt like a warm shower in the winter, she smelt like lavender and wild berries, her lips tasted like strawberries and to know that he was the one to experience her was like the first rays of sunshine in the summer. Her intoxicating scent still lingered on his clothing and he was breathing in so deeply just to keep that smell in his body.

When he finally made it back to the common room after a slow, purposeful walk from Hogsmeade, he sat himself in an armchair by the fire. Though the day had been cold he had only shivered from bliss. And now, sitting in front of the fire his body began to cool. He was coming off the high that she gave him and he could feel himself tumbling back down into his true heart; his cold, unfeeling heart.

He closed his eyes and tried as hard as was possible for him to imagine her back in his arms. All he could feel in his arms was a vast and never ending amount of nothing. Nothing would fill him as much as she did. She filled his entire being with only the slightest touch.

Even her smell had faded from him. Again he felt empty; void of anything worth having. She was becoming his drug of choice. Every moment he spent with her just made every moment he spent without her twice as agonising.

His body weak, he lifted himself up and walked to his dormitory. With his hand rubbing over the underside of his arm he ascended the stairs and then opened the door. When he looked towards his bed he saw Pansy lying there looking up at him.

“About time. Where the hell have you been all day?”

“Hogsmeade.” He didn’t look back at her he just milled around the room.

“You didn’t run into the mudblood again did you?” She sneered.

“I did run into Her-… Granger, yes.”

“I hope you crushed her like the insolent little bug she is.”

Draco said nothing; his lips tingled with the memory of hers.

“Why is it that you keep running into her? Anyone would think it was on purpose.” She raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t be stupid, and I definitely gave her something to remember.”

Pansy sniggered, “Good, she’ll be the first to go.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The revolution.” She looked up at him with enraged eyes, full of vengeful passion. “You’re coming back with me tomorrow, mother would very much like to discuss things with you over Christmas lunch.” Her hand found their way to his belt buckle and began to loosen his jeans.

“The revolution?”

“Let us just say that we have not lost this battle. Now just stop talking for five minutes so I can get started?”

As she descended onto her knees Draco closed his eyes and prayed that this were a dream. He knew that the elation he had felt earlier would never occur to him, even in his fantasies. Why could this not be over? Why would people not let him move away from the past? No one saw anything about him other than the things he had been forced to do. No one except her.

He tried not to think about what a horrible man he was for doing all that he had done, and betraying her in the way that he was now. He couldn’t change anything now; he sighed and closed his eyes as he committed himself to this night, knowing it wasn’t going to get any better.

Hermione woke up on Christmas Eve and began to write her Christmas letters and wrap her gifts. The last train from Hogwarts was leaving in the afternoon and the next one would not come until New Year’s Eve. She had to get all of her larger packages ready to be sent back to London by then. She had bought Harry a photo frame and put a picture of the three of them, Ron, Hermione and Harry, in it. They were outside Hogsmeade and laughing with one another as the snow floated down from the sky around them. For Ron she had bought a golden chain with a small locket attached. Inside was a picture of Fred from a better time. She knew that it was very sentimental but she hoped it would help him to carry the burden.

When she had been in Hogsmeade the day before, after having been left in the shack by Draco she had searched for something to buy for him. She had not spent much time with him but she felt like she needed to give him something. She had found the perfect thing for him and had it wrapped in the store.

What was she to expect of him? He could very well refuse her gift and push her away again. She didn’t want that. What she really wanted was for him to acknowledge her in the castle, not just in the very private space of the bathroom or the desolate hide-out that was the Shrieking Shack, but within the halls and corridors. Maybe he will even be able to reach out to her as she does to him. I must be a fool, she thought.

He was never going to change, how could he? She could no sooner commit herself to a life of hatred and vengeance than he could forget his involvement in it. She sighed. If there was one thing, however, that she would not do it would be to give up hope. That was a certainty.

She had written her Christmas letters and was yet to send them off. Luckily she could use one owl to send Harry, Ron and Ginny letters, as well as Molly and the rest of the Weasley family. She just had to find another owl to send to her parents. She headed up to the owlery in the morning and watched the owls gracefully fly into the distance with her letters and thought that maybe she would get an owl or two of her own tomorrow morning.

She took a leisurely walk back to the castle to steal some time. There was no need for her to rush. It was just about midday and she headed down to the great hall for lunch. The festivities seem to be growing increasingly with every day that Christmas grows near. The evergreens in the hall positively luminous, even more so than her last visit to the hall. There were far less students than yesterday. She assumed that many of them were packing for the train that ran later that afternoon. There were only two Gryffindors sitting at the table, excluding her, a small group of Ravenclaws, no Slytherins and a number of Hufflepuffs scattered along their table, most of them reading.

She filled her plate and began to eat. From the corner of her eye she saw that familiar blonde hair and she turned her head to face him.

His face was stony and his mouth was drawn out in a thin line. He had bags under his eyes and he looked exhausted. His eyes caught hers and she thought she saw them soften. He looked side to side and walked over to her; probably after noticing the lack of Slytherins in the hall.

“To what do I owe this visit?” She smiled up at him; he didn’t smile back.

“Are you not leaving for Christmas?” he said.

“No, my parents are holidaying and I thought I would just stay here.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, it doesn’t bother me to be alone.” She watched him look away from her eyes as she spoke and couldn’t help wondering what was on his mind. “Why do you ask? Are you going back later?”

He didn’t say anything; he just stood there with a pensive look on his face.

“So you are leaving then?”

“I have been invited out, yes.” His grim words made her think.

What was wrong today? He usually had some type of witty remark or comment, but not today.

“Well I suppose I should give you this before you leave.” She handed him a small brown parcel tied up with white string.

Draco looked down at the small parcel that she was holding out to him. He took it from her hand reluctantly and pocketed it quickly. She had bought him a gift. He never expected it, why would he? He had not received a Christmas gift in years. Not since his fifth year, his father had given him… his father had presented him with something that he had to accept.

He had not even thought to buy anything for Christmas, for anyone. He wanted to say thank you, but he couldn’t bring the words up.

“Are we at this again mudblood?” Pansy strode over to where they were standing and Draco saw a few heads turn their way upon hearing that word being spoken.

“What atrocity are you accusing me of now Pansy?” Hermione rolled her eyes and turned in her seat to face her.

“You just can’t seem to leave him alone, can you Granger?” She took a firm grasp on Draco’s arm and he looked at it with disgust.

“I do believe I am the one sitting minding my own business, again.”

Pansy laughed, “Like there is any chance that Draco would talk to you, unless it was to tell you how much of a useless mudblood you are.”

“I do find it amusing, you iniquitous twit, how I seem to find numerous ways to insult you and yet you have only one way in which to affront me. And for the record your insult gets far less meaningful the more you say it. If Draco wants to speak to me who the hell are you to say anything against it?” She looked up at Pansy with pure contempt, a fact that made Draco want to smile.

“Foul little insect! And Draco may say one or two words to you, none of which matter, but I can assure you that you aren’t the one spending nights in his dormitory.” She smiled smugly and Draco felt as though he had been hexed.

He felt like he had been thrown into the wall and had the wind knocked out of him and his bones had broken. None of that compared to the way he felt when he looked down and saw the look on Hermione’s face.

Hermione almost couldn’t believe the words coming out of Pansy’s mouth, but the look on Draco’s pale white face confirmed it.

“I can assure you that I really do not care where he has been, and knowing that you have been with him makes me even more determined to stay away from him. I wouldn’t want to catch anything.” She picked up her bag and looked at them both.

She gave the arrogant Pansy a cold look of hatred and derision, while her eyes couldn’t help but look at Draco with dejection and tears threatened to break the barrier and stream down her face. She refused to give Pansy the satisfaction.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be leaving. I have better things to attend to.” She stood up and pushed past the both of them leaving her lunch half eaten.

She had barely made it to the doors of the great hall when the tears started tumbling down her flushed cheeks. She was embarrassed. She felt hurt. How could she even think that he had changed, or that she meant anything to him? She let out a sob and wiped her eyes as she ran to the common room.

Draco couldn’t breathe; she would never look at him again. How could he have been so stupid? He felt Pansy’s hand gripping his arm and wanted to tear it off.

“Looks like you have an admirer; how sad. Does she really think she’s worth anything?” She turned up her nose and smiled.

“What did you want from me?” he turned to look at her with revulsion.

“The train leaves in two hours. Be ready.” She strutted away from him.

He sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands. He became so angry with himself that he grabbed hold of her plate and threw it across the room. He swiped his arm across the bench and sent the rest of the dishes and plates flying into the floor and the other benches.

Everyone in the hall turned to look at him and he stood panting; his face red and the vein in his forehead protruding. He stormed out of the hall and headed towards the grounds, seething. He kicked the snow and eventually threw his hands against a tree and slumped down in the snow, gritting his teeth and sobbing between his furious outbursts.