This chapter is dedicated to dawn_loves_gerard because you're so cute and sweet and I hope we become good friends c: And thank you so much for the cute messages <3

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I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling as hundreds of thoughts ran through my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about Patrick. Something about him was like a drug, I just wanted more and more of him, even if I knew it would hurt everyone around me.

Especially myself.

I know I should just cut off our relationship, but I don't want to. He knows how to make me happy after a rough day, he knows exactly what I like in bed, and he's just always there for me when I need him. But in a non-clingy way.

But if I continue seeing him then everything will go to shit. Mikey will be heartbroken if he ever finds out, which means he won't talk to me. And that means Gerard won't ever talk to me because he's Mikey's brother.

And what will Joe and Brendon think of me? They understand that I loved Patrick, but what will they think about me cheating on my fiancé with the man I had an affair with all those years ago.

I ran my hand through my fringe that was pressed against my forehead before letting out a loud sigh, causing Mikey to stir from where he lay on my bare chest. I watched as he pulled me closer, nuzzling his face into my chest before his breathing evened out again.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, running my fingers down his pale arm. He didn't reply, which didn't come as a surprise to me. I dropped my hand onto the mattress and looked back up at the ceiling.

Even though I had memories with Patrick I still had more with Mikey. Before I asked him to marry me he was one of my closest friends. He joined our group and we all just clicked. It was like Mikey has grown up with Joe, Brendon and I.

I realized I liked him about seven years ago, three years after I moved back. The four of us had gone on a road trip to California (driving for days with three other men in a mini van is hell).

The first thing we did was stop at a beach, and after a few hours there, when the sun was setting and Joe and Brendon were still acting like whales in the water Mikey and I went for a walk down by the waters edge.

At first we had just talked about what we wanted to do there, but then things got deeper and we started talking about our past relationships. That's when I spilled everything about Patrick and our past, and Mikey listened the entire time.

He didn't judge me for it like everyone else had. He just took my hand and gave it a small squeeze before saying something that I still think about seven years later.

"You loved him, he loved you. That won't ever stop, even if you want it to. There will always be a part of each of you that will still love the other, even if it's the smallest piece. All you can do now is try to forget about them until they come back."

"Come back?"

"From what you just told me I can tell you both loved each other so much you were willing to die for the other, and a love that strong can't be broken. Which means he'll come back. But until then you need to keep yourself busy, you can't keep waiting for the day he does."

"But what am I supposed to do? Who knows how long this could take, considering it'll actually by some miracle happen."

"Figure that out on your own."

As I thought about Mikey's words over again I couldn't help but smile. That was the day I started to fall in love with him. But it was also the day I realized I'd never stop loving Patrick.

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I blinked my eyes open, my bedroom now being lit up by the sunlight pouring in through my window. I really needed to get some black out curtains, I hate waking up to this shit.

As I pulled the blanket over my head I realized Mikey was gone. I pushed the blanket off of me before sliding off of the bed. I walked over to where my jeans were on the floor and dug through the pockets before pulling out my phone and checking the time.

10:28.

I frowned and stood up. It was too early to be awake. As I turned to go back to my bed I heard the front door open, followed by two pairs of feet running down the hall. I froze as my bedroom door flung open, revealing Joe and Brendon.

"Good mor- oh my god penis." Joe cried and quickly covers his eyes before blindly leaving the room. I let out a not so manly squeal and quickly grabbed my boxers from the ground and pulled them on.

"Hey, it's not a bad dick." Brendon chuckled, leaning against the door frame. "I'm starting to regret giving you two idiots a copy of my house keys." I mumbled, going to my closet so I could pull on some more clothes.

"Oh shush. What if you went on vacation, then who would water your house plants." Joe said, walking back into the room after peeking out of his fingers to make sure it was all clear.

"I don't have any house plants." I said, pulling on a grey t-shirt. "What about the one in the living room, I've seen Frank water it a few times." Joe said, furrowing his eyebrows as he pointed in the direction of the living room.

"That's a fake plant." I laughed, shaking my head. "What the fuck," Brendon joined in, his eyes squinting shut as he bent over into a fit of giggles. "What a strange little man." Joe chuckled before walking to my bed.

As he sat down he quickly got back up. "You didn't," he raised his eyebrows as he pointed to it. "We did, so I wouldn't recommend sitting." I replied, smiling at Joe's disgusted face.

"Anyway, Joseph if you could shut up for ten seconds." Brendon said, sending Joe a glare before he turned to me. "You'll never guess what we saw. Or should I say, who we saw." He grinned.

Even though I knew the answer I just sighed. "Who?"

"We saw Patrick." He said proudly, as if he has just won an award. "What, he's back in town?" I asked with a surprised expression, hoping he'd buy it. But he didn't.

"Oh shut up cunt. Joe told me he told you. I know you knew he was here, and I know your dumbass probably went to go see him." He said, raising an eyebrow. I just quickly looked down at the ground as I felt my heart pounding.

"Dumbass. But we'll get to that in a second." Brendon muttered. "But anyway, I wanted to see what he was up to so afro and I decided to go follow him." He said, his grin bigger now. "It was his idea, I don't condone stalking." Joe said quickly, raising his hands in the air.

"Oh shut up, you were the one telling me when I was getting to close and where to hide." Brendon rolled his eyes, making Joe blush. "So we followed him to this store where he met up with this girl, who I'm assuming is his wife because they kissed."

"I know he has a wife. You don't have to tell me." I grumbled. "Yeah, he was a ring so obviously you would've known that. But did you know he has a kid?" Brendon asked, making me snap my head up to look at him.

"What?"

"Yeah, little boy. Looks about two or three." Joe said, giving me a sad smile. "Whatever, I don't care." I said, making Brendon roll his eyes again. "Then why are you so annoyed by the fact he's married and has a kid. And why did you go visit him a couple days ago?"

I looked up at Brendon with wide eyes, my stomach suddenly dropping. "W-what?" He walked over to my desk in the corner of the room and sat down at the chair before crossing his arms.

"I was in the club when I noticed you at the bar. I was going to go say hi but then I saw you get up and go to the back before going into a room with the words 'P. Stump' written on the door." He said. "So I went up to the bar guy, and asked him about that.

"He remembered me, so he just told me everything. From how this wasn't the first time you were meeting with him to what he said to you and vice versa." Brendon said. "Don't you have a job?" I muttered, not making eye contact.

"I do, that's why I was at the club. I was meeting with a client." He replied. I looked up at him. "You didn't tell anyone, did you?" I asked, my voice desperate. "I wouldn't do that to you." He replied, standing up to give me a pat on the back.

"But why were you there? You're engaged to Mikey. You shouldn't be talking to your ex." He sighed, dropping his hand to his side. "I know, it's just, I think I still love him." I whispered, feeling my eyes fill with tears.

"Yeah, I think that's pretty obvious." Joe chuckled coming over before he pulled me into a hug. Brendon joined in, the two of them surrounding me as I let the tears fall.

"It'll be okay. We're here for you." Brendon said quietly, rubbing my back. "Even if you cheat on your fiancé, and our best friend." Joe chuckled lightly, making me pull away. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure the whole club heard you two going at it." Brendon laughed.

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Author's Note:

10/10 shit update

I'll post more soon, but sorry for the wait. School and writers block suck so •_•

Question of the Chapter:
Who are your favourite actress' and actors?

Answer of the Chapter:
Mine are Jason Sudeikis (AKA MY HUSBAND I LOVE THIS BITCH)

Vince Vaughn

Johnny Depp

and Nicolas Cage (what a bean)

BUT DONT YOU LOVE WHEN YOUR FAVOURITE ACTOR HAS SEX SCENES IN MOVIES LIKE JASON SUDEIKIS HAS A WHOLE MOVIE WHERE YOU JUST SEE HIM MOANING AND SHIT AND ITS CALLED SLEEPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND I LOVE IT DJFNFNFNFNF 

But thank you loves for reading c: Don't forget that I love you am so much it's crazy. 💜