Here We Go Again

Chapter 26: Nothing Left to Lose

POV: Liam

With a his usual happy smile on, Professor Longbottom stood at the front of the greenhouse, looking contently at the mixed Sixth Years in his Herbology class. Though the professor was so incredibly passionate about the subject he taught, and rarely ever let people slide when they mocked or gave no importance to Herbology, his lessons were always one of the best. He was, in all opinion, a fantastic teacher. He knew how to intrigue you, teach you, and complete hands-on activities within the time of his class.

Currently, we were at the final weeks of term, and revising had begun. We spent all of the day's lessons working backwards, reviewing things we had learned this year and then proceeding to important information from earlier ones.

"Okay, listen up, you lot," called Professor Longbottom after a round of laughter erupted from his students. "Before you leave and forget everything we have just revised, I want you lot to tell me the most important rhyme in all your time in Herbology."

"Devil Snare, Devil Snare," began his daughter Alice from her seat on one of the tables, who then was joined by other students to finish,"is deadly fun, but will soak in the sun."

The Herbology teacher grinned with enthusiasm. "Brilliant, just brilliant. You lot are really going places, I can tell."

Some students laughed at the clear teasing the professor was giving, but his daughter snorted. "Honestly, Professor," she called with feigned appraisal for authority, "the real reason you have us remember that is so that we don't end up like Potter—running from a tree branch some Slytherins bewitched as a prank."

Laughter ensued from the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs, annoyance at the petty humor was clear on the faces of some Ravenclaws, and some Gryffindors snickered and others frowned at the shame Alice Longbottom was bringing upon their Golden Boy.

My eyes turned from them and to the Gryffindor who was spinning around in his stool out of sheer boredom.

"Can you blame the professor's worry? Seems like some Gryffindors are prone for disaster, and that's speaking as a Gryffindor myself," added Lysander Scamander, who was sitting beside his girlfriend Alice. "Then again, we all know Potter's a special case."

Stopping mid spin, James Potter frowned at our fellow Gryffindor. "Repeat that again, Scamander," he hissed. "I dare you."

With a small chuckle, Professor Longbottom raised his hands in the air to call for attention. "Settle down," he said to the entire room, but his kind eyes were particularly upon James. "No laughing at the expense of my assistant, okay. Remember that he has the power to fail all of you. After all, he is the one who submits your final marks to the Headmistress."

Some scoffs and whispers were passed around the Herbology classroom. Slytherins, especially, paused their laughter.

"That's right," egged James from his stool, "I'm in power here, you gits."

I laughed at the reaction his comment got.

One who didn't find James amusing was his cousin Rose. "I told Neville this was a bad idea from the beginning," she whispered to the members of our table. "He thought that by making James his assistant he'd gain some experience that would help him apply to universities, but clearly that went to the dogs. I adore Neville, but he believes too much in James."

"There's nothing wrong with James," I defended the Seventh Year from the sweet, yet stubborn Rose.

Scorpius snorted from Rose's left. "Are you kidding? Everything is bloody wrong with the git."

I rolled my eyes at my own cousin. "He's had a tough few weeks, okay. Give him a break."

As Scorpius made an annoyed face at me, his fellow Slytherin chimed in to back me up in James' defense. "I personally think it was a brilliant move from the professor's part," said Lucas Zabini. "Potter doesn't like to admit it, but he's good with this stuff. Countless of times he has helped us with these damn plants, and it's gotten us a fantastic mark with Professor Longbottom."

"Oh, yes," Scorpius went on. "Like his assistance has done such wonders for you, Zabini. We all know that he has been tweaking your marks because you've been passing him information on his Slytherin enemies."

Zabini frowned. "I'm rubbish at Herbology, okay," he snapped. "I either sacrifice Slytherin loyalty, or I fail Herbology and face my mother's wrath. Which one did you honestly think I was going to pick, mate?"

"Slytherin loyalty, Zabini!" The incredulous look on Scorpius' face was enough to suggest how proud of his house he actually was.

"—And you know all about Slytherin loyalty, don't you, Malfoy?"

Startled at the voice that had suddenly spoken and wrapped the members of the table within a bubble, Scorpius, Lucas, Rose and I turned to the girl who was sitting on my left. She had been quiet all lesson, which was rare for her, given that she was active in class participation. Her silence had made us forget she was among us.

As we looked at her, I abruptly found disaster stretched across her face. It hadn't been there last time I saw her. We were in History of Magic, and she had been smiling and laughing. She had been glowing, just as I liked her to be. Since then I hadn't seen her; since then, something had changed. She didn't show up for breakfast, and in our other classes she sat by herself and with her head down. I knew her well enough that when that happened I needed to steer clear from her (PMS or something, she usually said it was).

At the current moment, she was pale and with dark shades underneath her eyes that gave appearance to bruises. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she had been crying and had not gotten any sleep. Her usual plump, pink lips were dry, chapped, and as pale as her face. Her flowing blonde hair was tied up in a messy ponytail, but instead of showing off her beautiful features, it just exposed a pain that was unbearable to look at.

"What's that supposed to mean?" quipped Scorpius. "Are you going to tell some Death Eater jokes now, Harper?"

Nia's blue eyes narrowed with an almighty fury in the direction of my cousin. "No, you've already heard all my Death Eater jokes," her voice was low, yet harsh. "Do you want to hear my Slytherin loyalty ones? I have a fucking fantastic one on a friend who lets his friend cheat on his girlfriend."

All that skill on handling emotions, on being able to mask and subdue them, went out the door when complete outrage took over Scorpius' face. His silver eyes were suddenly drowning in remorse and shock. His previous annoyance towards Nia faded, and now he was gaping back at her like he had confessed on killing her beloved owl.

Beside him, Zabini coughed wildly and left the table hastily; forgetting his things as he maneuvered to the opposite end of where were seated.

Nia's hands were sitting over the tabletop, and Scorpius went to reach for one. "Nia, I...I don't—"

"Don't you touch me," she hissed at him in the same low and harsh tone she had previously spoken with. This time, however, her eyes were sparkling with tears.

"Nia, I swear that—"

"Don't speak to me," she added, cutting across my cousin. "Don't you even fucking look at me, you understand? If I so much as see you around me, Malfoy, I will hurt you." The threat exploded among us. "I didn't hate you before," she continued, "but now..."

Scorpius pressed his lips into a tight line. He stared at Nia for a moment, but then that remorse in his own gaze overpowered everything and he looked down.

"What's...What's going on?" Rose finally asked as she glanced between her blonde friend and her blonde boyfriend. "Did I miss something?"

Scorpius kept his silence and Nia kept her murderous gaze.

"Nia?" Rose turned to her as she put a hand on Scorpius' left shoulder. "What's the matter?"

My best friend released the tears she had been holding in. And as they fell, her tough act crumbled. Her shoulders started shaking as quiet sobs racked her body.

I was about to reach for her, my heart breaking at the sight, but someone else won over me. A pair of arms wrapped around Nia, pulling her up from her stool.

"There, there, Harper," Evanna Nott said gently to who we all assumed was one of her enemies since the end of last year. "Come on."

Nia buried her face into Evanna's shoulder. Her arms wrapped around the Ravenclaw witch with desperation, putting all her weight on her. Nia continued to cry, the sound was a muffled one, but it still tore me.

If Nia was pushing all her weight onto her, it didn't show on Evanna's face. Instead, Evanna grabbed Nia's schoolbag, held it with her left hand, and then she proceeded to guide my crying friend towards the doors of the greenhouse.

The invisible bell that gave notice of the start or end of classes rang, causing everyone else to jump up immediately from their seats and gather their belongings. Professor Longbottom was huddled with a few students who were probably signing up for his tutoring group sessions tonight. No one saw Evanna Nott dragging away the—allegedly—toughest Gryffindor girl since Ginny Weasley herself attended Hogwarts.

"What did you do?" Rose turned to her boyfriend, her eyes determined to find out information. When the Ravenclaw had arrived and gathered Nia in her arms, Rose had been more confused than I'd seen her all of my time knowing her. "What just happened?"

Scorpius took a deep breath and didn't reply to her. His silver gaze landed on me, guilt and sadness in them, and he said, "I'm sorry, Liam."

"Why?" I asked.

"Scorpius, what's wrong?" Rose interjected, still frustrated.

My Slytherin cousin gathered his belongings, shoving them into his schoolbag without uttering another word. He gave me one last remorseful look before he turned on his heels and started walking. Rose followed him quickly.

I stayed in my seat, watching them with a look of utter confusion.

"Easy there, Greengrass," a whisper graced my ear, sending unknown tingles up my spine, and a warm hand ghosted over my back, "if you think any harder, you'll end up looking like a flobberworm on a bad day."

Gracen Goyle appeared from behind me, only to stand beside me; leaning against my work table. There was a small smile on her beautiful and delicate face, making her bright eyes glow more than they did on a regular basis.

I cleared my throat at her sudden closeness, at her leg touching mine, at the reaction her whisper had given me, and at the sweet smell she was giving to the air. "Do you..ugh...Do you know what just happened?"

Her smile grew sadder. "I'm sorry."

"Why is everyone saying that?"

"Because you should find out through Nia, not me."

I raised a brow at her. "Then how do you know?"

"Evanna's my best friend, she tells me everything," responded Gracen.

I didn't know what to say to that, my confused gaze was enough. Whatever it was that was going on with Nia, whatever it was that everyone else seemed to know, was going to have to wait.

"Fine, I'll just—"

"How are you?" the Ravenclaw witch interrupted me without meaning to. We both looked at each other with a smile. She laughed lightly and her cheeks turned pink.

Her sudden shyness somehow caused my own smile to grow. "I'm doing fine, thanks."

With that timid smile, Gracen flicked her blue eyes onto the surface of my worktable. She reached for my Herbology book and stacked it on top of my notes and two folders. She bent slightly, reaching for my schoolbag, and then placed it on the table to open the latch and put my belongings inside.

I watched her. "Are we going somewhere?"

"Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Years are on break right now," she replied while she was closing my schoolbag. "That means Professor Longbottom's Second Years are making their way here for their class."

"He hasn't kicked us out yet," I added, glancing briefly at the Herbology professor who was now at the very back of his greenhouse, probably collecting earmuffs for the Second Years.

She handed me the bag as she went upright. Her smile was still on her face; it was so beautiful and bewitching and gentle that it made me want to be laying on a cloud and float away. There was something incredibly peaceful about Gracen Goyle: the blue in her gaze was calming and comforting. I've come to realize that for a while now.

Since the breakup with Lily, the Ravenclaw and I have been spending more time together. We never discussed my relationship with Lily, but somehow she knew exactly what to say to ease me on the days that were tough. And there were a lot of tough days.

Losing Lily as a girlfriend and a friend was a hard adjustment. While Rose encouraged me to fix things with Lily, and Nia opposed to it, I found myself just going with the flow. I loved Lily with all my heart, but, at the same time, a part of me wanted to let her go. I guess a part of me knows that it's better for us to be apart—for her benefit, of course. I'd run into Lily's arms if she asked me to. But that was just the thing, she wasn't.

It's been weeks since our breakup and not once had she made an attempt to find me. Sometimes hope sparked in my chest when I caught her looking at me when we were in the Great Hall or in the same group of people as conversation ensued, but then it was squashed time and time again when we were a few mere feet away from each other in a somewhat lonely Common Room and she never approached. If she wanted to fix things, if she wanted to take back ending our relationship, it wasn't coming.

"Here, I'll take that," I said to the Ravenclaw as I reached for her Herbology book. She turned her head in an angle and looked at me curiously. I was sure I started blushing too when that calming blue of her eyes looked deep into my brown. "A gentleman always carries a girl's books."

Another smile from her dazzled me. "A gentleman also escorts a girl after class to keep her company."

I stood up from the table, slinging my schoolbag over my shoulder, and gestured towards the doors of the greenhouse. "Shall we, then?"

The silence that took over us as we exited was gentle, but it didn't last long when the voices of Weasleys entered our ears.

"I'm telling you," yelled Freddie, "it's real!"

"It's not real!" yelled Louis.

"Honestly, Freds," added in James, "it looks like you got hit by a snitch."

Lucy, who was unluckily caught in the huddle with the cousins she deemed beyond annoying, groaned with frustration. "Can I go now? I don't care."

No one paid her any mind, yet she still stayed.

The redheaded Weasley snorted. "Oh, please. Do you really think a snitch would make this?"

"There's no way in the Dark Lord's hell that you're capable of getting that," Louis quipped again.

"Am too!" contradicted the redhead.

James shook his head."Sorry, mate, but you're not."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

As Freddie grew appalled towards his cousins, Gracen and I got near enough to the circle so that I could ask what was happening.

"Freddie's claiming he got—"

"It's real, you wanker!" Freddie punched Louis on the chest, halting the blonde Gryffindor from replying to my question.

James had to grab Louis by the arm before he launched himself towards Freddie and both cousins started another one of their famous wrestling matches. "Freddie's got a love bite. Supposedly."

Aiming one quick glare at James, Freddie then turned to Gracen and I. All his previous anger was forgotten as a smirk appeared on his face, his right hand pushing away his neck-long hair behind him to expose the skin it was hiding. There was a spot on it that was blotched with red.

"Wicked, right?" Freddie beamed.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "You stopped me for this? I've to talk to Professor Longbottom before his class starts!"

Freddie frowned at his Fourth Year cousin. "Well, of course you don't find any importance in it, Luce. You being Miss Prude, and all. You are not capable of knowing the difference between a good, passionate snogging fest and that sloppy lick you got from the Hippogriffs at the Magical Zoo."

"That's uncalled for," Gracen said to the redhead boy sternly. "Besides, you shouldn't be parading any love bites at all, you know that."

Freddie's pride dimmed slightly. "You're not going to tell her, right, Goyle?"

"Apologize to Lucy and I'll forget that you were just showing off to the entire world."

Confusion, once again, wrapped around me; this time dragging in James and Louis, too. Was there actually a girl that Freddie was seeing?

"Wait. It's actually real? Freds, mate, are you seeing a girl that we don't know—"

"I'm sorry, Luce," Freddie cut across Louis shocked words. "I shouldn't have reminded you of that violating snog the Hippogriff gave you. And I'm sorry that you want to live your life being a spinster—"

Smack!

Lucy's nostrils flared with anger, her brown eyes lighting up dangerously after she retracted her palm away from her cousin's face. "Just because, Fredrick," she screeched, "I keep my personal life to myself, that does not make me a prude! Unlike you, I don't have to prove to the world that I can get snogged!" Though none of the girls in the Weasley clan were anywhere near as tall as Freddie, Lucy was brave enough to step up to him and intimidate with her petite frame. "And believe me, little Miss Prude can snog and has been snogged fantastically."

The overprotectiveness that was instilled in the boys of the Weasley clan came out as soon as that last sentence left Lucy's mouth. James and Louis frowned, meanwhile Freddie looked scared that the girl was going to reach over and smack him again.

"You better be joking, Lucy," James warned. "You're too young to be doing anything."

More anger burned in Lucy's eyes. When she opened her mouth to heatedly reply back to her cousin, she ended up pointing a finger ahead of us, behind James' shoulders. We all quickly looked to what the girl was pointing, and I wish I hadn't.

Lily was walking the gardens of the Herbology center. Her long, red hair was tied up, but there were flyaways framing her face. Her face alone was exposed; I could see the golden flecks of her brown eyes highlighted by the rays of sun, and the wash of freckles on her face that I'd spent many times counting when we would lay together and enjoy an easy silence. She was beautiful as she always was, that smile on her face adding to all that beauty. The thing was...She wasn't alone.

Octavio De la Cruz was with her—specifically, he was behind her. The dark-haired wizard had his arms wrapped around my ex-girlfriend. He was holding her tight, pressing her tight into his body as they walked. His face was hidden in the crook of her neck, so intimately that I had to look away.

"Don't worry about me," I heard Lucy speak again, "worry about her, James. Because I know my limits at fifteen, and she doesn't."

Even though I wasn't looking at Lily and the foreign Slytherin, my mind was replaying their image. It was maddening, dizzying, but it didn't last long. Warm fingers interlaced with mine and someone was pulling me, making my feet move.

"Did you know Puddlemere United is going to be in Hogsmeade this weekend?" I looked at the girl holding my hand. "McGonagall hasn't promoted it yet in fears that it'll start a riot come the weekend, but I have my ways of knowing things. And getting tickets. Do you want to be my date?"

There was a knot in my throat that I had to swallow before I could even speak. What I saw back there, Lily in the arms of another boy, letting herself...It was fading. Gracen was making that fade. When her eyes looked into mine, as painful as the rest was, it gave me hope that the sun could still come up every morning for me.

I gave her fingers a squeeze and found a smile to give her. "I'd love to be your date, Gracen."

Maybe it was a good thing for Lily to move on, because, just maybe, it was time for me to do so, too.