Here We Go Again

Chapter 28: Let Her Go

POV: Scorpius

I was staring up at the ceiling of my dormitory as I laid on my four-poster, the drapes shut to close myself away from the world outside. The dormitory has been hectic lately, mostly due to Potter's rage and chaotic manner. He'd taken it upon himself to destroy the dormitory, and Zabini and I had taken it upon ourselves to ignore him.

He was going through a rough time, Albus. I knew he needed someone to tell him to cool down and think rationally about everything, but there was just no talking to him. Not now, at least. Zabini had refused to get in the middle of it because, as he said, he didn't want to have a guilty conscience; he reckoned Potter needed to learn from his mistakes. Myself, on the other hand, am worried about my own problems to tackle his. Not that I wouldn't if he asked, but Potter was currently as unreasonable as when he started the affair with Ophelia De la Cruz. He hid from everyone, ignored everyone, and had taken up drinking heavily most nights since his breakup with Harper.

When it came to Harper, there I did feel a bit of remorse. She absolutely hates me now, truly, and everyone can see it. However, just as Albus has taken it upon himself to hide from questioning eyes, Nia has, too; which, of course, means that no one has found out exactly why she hates me and what's going on with her and Potter. Of course, no one's stupid. Everyone knows their relationship has ended, and horribly at that.

As bad as I feel for Harper, that is easily put aside when my mind processes everything that's been going on with Rose and I. Here, everything's grand. Rose is happy. Rose is in love. Rose...

Her eyes were wide. Rose Weasley was gawking at her Slytherin boyfriend with immense confusion, but also like he had lost his marbles. And because a tiny part of her figure he'd lost his mind, she took a step away from him to further inspect him.

Scorpius, in turn, stared back at her with full determination. He had been out of breath before, as he ran from the grounds to the castle just to look for her, but now had his lips pressed into a tight line, holding in his breath. His heart was beating away with anticipation, the nervous and afraid kind. He asked her something that he didn't think he'd ask her, not anytime soon, that was. But a part of him knew, a part of him knew it was always going to be her.

'Rose,' he called, not able to take her silence and wild gaze. 'Did...Did you hear me?'

The redheaded Gryffindor nodded slowly, taking another step away from him.

'And?'

'And?' she repeated in a low voice. 'And what?'

He sighed, his ego felt like it took a curse. 'What do you think?'

'I think you're mad,' Rose said straightforwardly, her eyes not moving away from being extremely skeptical. 'Were you drinking before this?' She took a step to him, a tiny one, and sniffed him as if she expected to learn everything he'd done that day. She didn't smell the stench of alcohol, but she did catch that ghastly cigarette smell coming off his robes. She frowned. 'You're smoking now?'

Scorpius rolled his eyes at her. 'A puff from Albus' muggle sticks isn't going to make me mental, Weasley. Besides, that's not the point here so don't change the topic. I asked you a question.'

'Scorpius, I—'

The blonde wizard knelt down on one knee, promptly cutting off his girlfriend from what she was about to say. He extended a hand out for her to take, waiting, as well, for her to end the distance she added between them.

'Look,' he said with a tone that sounded like a whisper, 'I know that we are too young for this. I know that there are a million things you want to do after Hogwarts, and I respect that, I do, but...But I love you. That's the thing that I'm absolutely sure about in life right now. And I know I'm going to love you forever.'

Rose said nothing, but her brown eyes were glittering with tears.

'The heart doesn't recognize age, Rose, just who it wants,' Scorpius added with the same utter. 'The heart learns to tell the soul who is perfect for it, and everything in my body is screaming for you. It has since the day I met you.'

A tear dropped from her left eye, traveling down her cheek and splashing against the floor of the classroom. Without thinking it, because what she felt for Scorpius was always out of her control, Rose stepped close enough to give him her hand.

Their hands clasped, fingers intertwined, and particles of energy exploded at the contact. Their skin came alive with warmth, just as their hearts began to beat away in perfect sync.

Scorpius smiled. 'So...Will you marry me?'

The redhead parted her lips, but only a shaky breath escaped. More tears began to fall down her cheeks, but her eyes were glowing bright and intense. 'Yes,' she said to the Slytherin with a breakable emotion. Before he could say anything, however, she knelt down to be at his level. 'Yes, I will marry you.'

Scorpius tugged at her hand so that she fell into his arms. When she did, when his arms were wrapped around her tightly, his mouth found hers and they kissed the glorious moment away and straight into history...

Rose had said yes.

"You're staring at me."

My eyes were lost roaming the skin of the person next to me. "Am not."

"You are, too." Brown eyes opened to gaze straight at me and into my soul. "You're a terrible liar, Scorpius."

I smiled. "And you're supposed to be sleeping. It's almost three in the morning."

"Then why aren't you sleeping?" Rose retaliated with that bossy attitude of hers, eyeing me suspiciously as she stirred from inside the emerald sheets we were tucked into. "You're the one that has a Potions exam for their first lesson."

I snorted with distaste. "I'm quite prepared for that exam, actually. I'm not so worried. Though, to hell with the professor for giving an exam just because Potter couldn't stop himself from insulting him. Actually, fuck Potter, too, now that I think of it."

From underneath my sheets, I felt one of Rose's hands move down from my chest to my stomach; she pinched the skin right above my bellybutton. "Don't curse," she scolded like the goody-two-shoes she is. "Be it as it may that Albus is being an imbecile currently, I am confident you're going to do brilliantly on the exam. After all, I spent all night tutoring you."

I turned onto my right side to playfully frown at her. My hand came out to squeeze her nose. She laughed and smacked my hand. "Cocky as you are, Weasley, I'm not worried about the Potions exam."

"Then what are you up this late thinking about? It's not every night that I get to successfully sneak into your dormitory to have a sleepover, so I suggest you enjoy it."

My eyes shot open.

She pinched me again from underneath the sheets. "I don't mean it like that, Malfoy," she grunted.

I laughed. "I know, but you're expression was hilarious."

"Ha bloody ha."

"If you must know," I spoke again before she became annoyed, "I was thinking about you. When I asked you to marry me, to be more specific."

A smile tugged at her lips and she pulled herself closer to my side. Her arms went to wrap around me. She hadn't wanted anyone to know about us being engaged, mainly because things were hectic and she was somewhat embarrassed by it. Despite that part of her brilliant brain that said we were too young to be engaged, Rose glowed like the stars when we talked about it.

"And what about that day?" she asked in a murmur.

"Just that...I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," I answered. "I can see everything that awaits us, and I just can't wait to be there. I can't wait to build the perfect life with you. You're everything I want, Rose."

"I love you," she said, "and I promise that one day we will have all of that."

With that vow in the air, we embraced tightly and closed our eyes.

                                                                                XXXXXXXXXX

"Em!" As soon as my eyes spotted a beautiful dark-haired witch with even more beautiful green eyes that sparkled with life, I attacked. My arms enveloped her, reaching around her and pulling her up with the strength of my arms. I squeezed with all my might, and I twirled her in circles; the action making her black hair fly all around us and leave behind the aroma of sweet vanilla in the air.

There was laughter, beautiful and hearty laughter that echoed off the walls of the corridor and then filled my eardrums. My brain processed the sweet music and stored it as a cherished memory.

For a moment, those skinny arms of hers hugged back tightly and everything else disappeared. Even after we pulled away and our hands clutched onto each others with the same fervor. Our eyes met, and I was sure that the same glisten in her emerald eyes was copied off in my silver ones.

"I missed you, Scor," Emily said to me with a tearful smile, it was big and bright. It made her entire face light up with the color of life. It was absolutely brilliant to see that on her.

My fingers gave another squeeze. "I missed you a thousand times more, Em," I told my best friend. "It's great to have you back."

"It's great to be back." She took in a deep breath, and her left hand released mine. She smiled at the passing students, the ones who she just had History of Magic with, and nodded to herself. "Yeah, it's really great to be back."

"I can't believe that I was just told about your recovery, Em," I told her as I yanked her schoolbag from her shoulder and slinged it alongside mine. I extended my left arm to her and waited for her to take it. Once she did, I directed us to the exit of the corridor.

"I'm sorry," she said slowly, "but with James constantly in there, the Headmistress really didn't want anyone else bombarding the Hospital Wing. Poor Madam Pomfrey, she was about to lose her mind just dealing with James on an everyday basis."

My face did the automatic scrunch of disgust whenever James Potter's name was brought up, but I was thankful that the git's girlfriend didn't see it. This was my first time seeing her in ages, I didn't want to mess it up with her thinking that her idiot boyfriend and I still loathed each other (even though it was true as it's always been).

"How do you feel?" I changed the subject, turning in an angle so my eyes could drink up every little aspect of her.

"I feel great,"she chirped as she met my gaze again. For the first time, in all the years that I've known her, I saw the sincerity behind it. She was always quick to lie and hide behind her smile, but this time I could see that her smile was earnest. It made a smile of my own appear on my face and my heart soar. "I feel fantastic, Scor. I can't begin to explain it."

"Well, you're alive. I'd feel fantastic myself."

She stopped, causing me to jerk backwards at her sudden choice to halt. There was a few students behind us, some Hufflepuffs, and she waited for them to pass with her smile dimming. Slowly, her arm unlinked from mine and I watched skeptically as seriousness etched on her facial lines.

"I owe you an apology," she muttered. "You...You tried so hard to help me, Scorpius—from day one. You've always been there, trying to listen to me, trying to help me, trying to make me smile and laugh...I wasted your time—no, I was ungrateful," she corrected the last bit, nodding once to herself. "I ignored how much you love me, how sincere your attempts to help me were, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I tried to kill myself."

I winced, the skin on my body shivering like Death had run a skeleton-finger up my spine. "Can we not remember that?"

"Well, we can't pretend like it didn't happen, either," she retorted, crossing her arms. Her seriousness turned from remorseful to aggravated. I would've been amused by it, because an angry Emily is just comical, but the matter at hand was nothing to laugh about.

My right hand went to the back of my neck, rubbing the skin there as I avoided her eyes. "I just...I don't want to talk about it, Em. I understand that, you know...But I just..."

"Scorpius," she sighed, reaching for my free hand and tugging at it until I met her emerald gaze again. "It happened, okay? I am not going to pretend as if it didn't, so you don't do it, either. As much as I would like to believe that it never happened, I cannot ignore that I have problems. That's the first step in moving on, right? Admitting that something's wrong?"

I shrugged.

"One of the many steps is apologizing to those I've done wrong," she continued, speaking as if she was an alcoholic and sworn to be off the stuff. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I should've taken your help—the help every one of you tried to give me—before it escalated out of control." She tugged at my hand again, this time her beautiful smile appearing. "I love you, Scorpius. You're my best friend, my brother, and I'm lucky to have someone like you."

My uneasiness about the topic slowly faded. It wasn't fair of me to deny her the opportunity to speak about it, was it? After all, I'd spent so much time trying to get her to talk to me and let out everything she bottled up inside. She had demons, nightmares, and scars that I always wanted to kill and heal, and now she was granting me access to do so.

The thing is, it's hard. It's so fucking hard to look at someone you love, at someone you see as your sister, and know that they were at the verge of death not that long ago—the kind of disastrous end they brought and wished upon themselves. How do you fix that? How do I talk about it and not release the anger and resentment and misery she made in me for what she attempted to do? How do I help her through something like that? What qualifies me to even try? Her life hangs on the line, and I want it protected. How can I take charge of something so fragile?

My hands reached the sides of her face, holding on gently. I looked deep into her green eyes and saw the soul of a wounded, terrified girl trying to find her way back home. I saw courage and strength, just as I saw fear and fragility.

"I love you, too," I whispered, pulling myself closer to her so that I could gently place a kiss on her forehead. "And I promise I'll be there to help you along the way. Don't ever forget that."

"You're one amazing boy," she said kindly. "I'm lucky to have you. Rose is lucky to have someone like you."

I grinned. "Well, of course. Look at me."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Don't ruin my compliment by being a Malfoy, please."

" 's that supposed to mean? I resent that."

"Don't pretend like you don't—"

"YOU BASTARD!"

Emily and I had continued our walk down the corridor after our sentimental talk, light and ease in the atmosphere between us, when someone appeared into our pathway with fury burning in their eyes like the depths of hell. That person was Rose.

My eyes went wide, completely startled and outraged. The last time Rose lost it when Emily and I were together, a complete misunderstanding, my girlfriend had chewed out my best friend to a degree that had severed their friendship (which lasted a few hours until the redhead was drowning in guilt and Emily was somewhere in the grounds getting attacked by Greyback).

"Rose," I began with attention to clear the air, "Em and I were just—"

The redheaded Gryffindor marched towards us, cutting off my explanation when she punched my chest. "You lied to me!" she yelled with a strain in her voice. "You kissed Madison fucking Mulciber!"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

I gulped. "Rose, I...I didn't..Okay, it might seem far-fetched, but she bewitched me! I swear it! I swear she used bloody Amortentia on me!"

Rose threw another rough punch at me. "Of course she did!" Her screaming was still going full-speed, alike the fire of fury burning in her brown eyes. "It's not far-fetched at all that the stupid cow would do so!"

"You believe me?" I asked as I gaped in utter surprise.

"Mulciber showed me the memory, Malfoy! I saw the clear signs of it; I'm not a fucking idiot!" Punch. Punch.

I tried to grab her fists, but she slapped them away. In the background, Emily was completely appalled and caught between Rose and I.

"If you believe me, why are you so upset?" I retorted, wincing at another punch that she threw.

I shouldn't have bloody asked that. There, in that moment, I regretted everything.

"You lied to me about the kiss, Scorpius!" She bellowed as if it was completely obvious why she was enraged. "You could've told me Mulciber bewitched you and I would've believed you! You know why, you bloody idiot?! Because that's exactly the thing that Mulciber would do! That bitch hates me that much that should would attempt to break us up!"

"I got scared, Rose!" I defended myself. "I didn't want you to think that I would actually do something so—"

Her punch to the chest turned to a slap across the face. It silenced me, but the sound of it ricocheted off the walls.

The blazing anger in her eyes was still going, but it was making room for a glint of being scorned that made my lips remain shut. "I told you time and time again that Mulciber was not to be trusted," she hissed, teeth clenched. "I told you time and time again that she hated me, that she would do anything to make my life hell. And what did you say to that?"

I didn't respond. I knew that answer just as well as she did. We both knew that I defended Mulciber over and over from Rose's allegedly unjustified claims. I protected Mulciber from Rose. I ditched Rose several times to hang out with Mulciber, to talk to her when I believed she just needed a friend.

What a fucking idiot I am.

"I would've believed you, Scorpius." She wasn't speaking to me full of disdain and anger, but the grave tone of her voice made me wish she was back to punching and screaming at me. The low tone, the disappointment, the look of betrayal off of her was making me nauseous. "Instead you...You asked me to marry you to hide the fact that you were wrong. How could you do that to me, Scorpius? How could you taint something so sacred because you couldn't admit that you were wrong about her?"

Swallowing my fear, I met her gaze full-on. The emotions living in every visible aspect of her made my heart hurt. "I'm sorry," I told her, keeping my voice stable in attempts to hide the absolute terror I was currently experiencing. "I just didn't want to lose you, Rose. I...I love you. I couldn't risk it."

The disappointment in her brown eyes glazed over by a batch of unshed tears. Her bottom lip quivered, alike the hands at her side, and it was breaking me. The pain I'd caused her was stabbing me with its rays.

"I was worth the truth," she murmured, and she took a deep breath. Her tears fell, and she took a step back and away from me. "We're not getting married. We're not going to talk about our future."

The pounding of my heart was bruising my bones. I couldn't say anything to that, but I knew she was in all her right to be upset. I wanted to tell her that the marriage proposal, though activated by fear, was something sincere. One day I did want to marry her. She is my everything.

"And..." more tears fell from her eyes, "...I think we need to breakup."

"No," I said automatically, my head shaking along with my response. "No, Rose. Please."

I took a step to her, and she took another back. Her tears were falling, mine were, too, but she wasn't paying attention to them. She had her right hand over her heart, and miserable determination fueled her next words.

"We're over, Scorpius. I can't...I can't do this with you right now."

"I'm so—Rose! Rose!" Before my apology could sound out, the redhead had turned on her heels and ran away from me. I intended to run after her, but a pair of skinny arms wrapped around my waist; trying so hard to forbid me from moving. "Let go, Emily! Let go!"

My best friend held on despite my command. "Stop," she whispered. "Stop. She's not going to listen right now."

"I need to—I can't lose her, Emily!" I crumbled.

Like it was a routine in our friendship, Emily pulled me close and held on tightly as the emotions inside me raged a storm and my heart cried out for the Weasley girl.