"Frank?" Gerard questioned warily when he opened the door of his apartment complex after hearing a series of rapid knocks, his eyes widening as he glanced over the apparently distressed younger man with what he was sure was a concerned look. "You didn't tell me you were coming over."

Not that Gerard minded Frank's unexpected arrival of course, but Frank usually at least called and asked first. Frank shrugged helplessly as he walked inside when Gerard motioned for him to do so, his shoulders which had been tensed to the point of rigidity relaxing by a small margin when he entered the living room.

"I'm sorry, I should have asked first, but I needed to get away," Frank exhaled heavily.

"Away from what?" Gerard dared to ask, although he was unsure of how Frank would react to his questioning.

"Everything - just, I can't talk about it yet okay," Frank choked out. "Please distract me."

"Okay, yeah, I can do tha-"

Gerard was cut off when Frank surged forward, attaching their mouths together in a heated kiss. Gerard was well aware that this was Frank's usual coping methods for dealing with things he wasn't ready to face, and even if he wasn't sure what the problem was, this was something he knew he could help Frank with.

Gerard was still slightly in awe of the fact that Frank had chosen him to be this person for him, that he wanted Gerard to be his shelter from the harsh realities of the world, that he cared for him so much that he trusted him in his most vulnerable moments.

Gerard didn't think he was worthy of this task, although he wanted to be, but Frank deserved so much better than him. Gerard had tried to show him that, to give him the opportunity to leave, but Frank had stubbornly remained, so Gerard was determined to be the best boyfriend that he could for Frank until he realized his error, even if that would never be good enough for the wonderful boy who was currently pressed against him.

Gerard might not be right for Frank, but he could assist him in this, so he let Frank steal the air from his lungs until some of his pent-up emotions seemed to ease for a moment, his arms wrapping around his torso in a supporting manner when Frank sagged against him as their lips broke apart.

"Do you want to try something new?" Gerard suggested when Frank began bucking into him needily, his cock straining against the fabric of his jeans as he rubbed against Gerard suggestively.

"Like what?" Frank whispered breathily, his eyes already carrying the glazed over quality that meant he was slipping away from whatever was causing him so much pain and sinking into the lust pumping through his bloodstream instead.

"Get in the bedroom and I'll show you," Gerard smirked, his teeth biting into his lower lip to suppress a laugh when Frank all but ran down the short hallway, tossing his shirt off as he went.

Gerard followed at a slightly slower pace, mulling over what he actually wanted to do in his head. He knew what Frank needed, he wanted to let go of his concerns, to give over control to Gerard for at least a short time, and he could think of numerous activities that would help him achieve that, but he wasn't entirely certain which one to pick.

Frank was already waiting for him on the bed, his chest heaving lightly as he stared at Gerard when he walked into the small space. A smile instinctively turned Gerard's lips up at the corners when he saw him lying there - his boyfriend - god that would never get old.

Gerard had decided he must have done something incredible act in another life to earn him Frank in this one, because he sure as hell hadn't earned him, or maybe this was the one good thing that the universe had decided to grace him with. Gerard didn't really believe in karma, or religion, or any of that, but some other force must have intervened to give him someone like Frank, there was really no other explanation that he could think of.

"Gerard," Frank whimpered quietly when he didn't immediately move since he was distracted by his inner musings. "Please, I need you."

"Do you sugar?" Gerard grinned. He shook off his thoughts with a mental brush of his hand so he could focus on the now, letting his knees hit the edge of the mattress as he leaned over Frank teasingly. "You're so worked up, and I've barely even touched you yet."

"Wanna touch you," Frank begged, his hands reaching out in an attempt to pull Gerard on top of him, but he dodged out of his grasp easily.

"Nuh uh, this is about you," Gerard admonished him, his mind settling on what he was going to do to Frank to make sure he forgot about whatever was plaguing him, at least for now. "Pants off," Gerard ordered, doing his best to keep a straight face as Frank scrambled to comply.

When Frank was completely undressed, Gerard finally allowed himself to kiss him again, his tongue plundering Frank's mouth with a fierce intensity that he had never before felt with anyone else. Frank did something to his insides, he made him burn and ache and need more than he ever had in the past, and he loved it, but sometimes it scared him how attached he was to this boy that legally he shouldn't even be with.

But now wasn't the time to remember that fact, he was determined to pay attention to Frank and only Frank, not his doubts or self-loathing, so that is what he did, keeping their mouths connected as he trailed his fingers down Frank's torso. He brushed over his peaked nipples before moving lower, his nails digging into the small trail of hair leading down toward Frank's cock which was already pressing up against his stomach eagerly. Frank whined quietly against Gerard's lips, his hips tilting upward in a silent plea for more, which Gerard was helpless to deny.

He let his hand wrap around the base of Frank's cock, slowly stroking him at a pace that he was sure Frank found tortuous and delicious all at once. Gerard hadn't tried this with Frank yet, he usually let him come as often as he wanted, but he was curious to see how Frank would react to being brought to the brink then denied his orgasm, hoping that the need to release would completely distract him from everything else that was swirling around in his head.

"You're teasing," Frank exhaled shakily, his eyes fluttering closed as his head fell back to rest against the pillow.

"I am," Gerard nodded. "You want to come already don't you greedy boy?"

"Yeah, please - need it," Frank groaned, his lashes brushing against his flushed cheeks as his cock pulsed in Gerard's hand as if in protest to his slow motions.

"Can you hold off for me?" Gerard asked as he began moving his wrist faster, dragging a harsh groan out of Frank as he teased his slit with the pad of his thumb.

"Uh - fuck," Frank shuddered, his eyes blinking open blearily, his dilated pupils locking onto Gerard's visage almost instantly before darting down to his leaking dick. "I don't know."

"I think you can, I know you can be good," Gerard encouraged him, continuing to work his length as Frank trembled and gasped as the sensations spread through his nerve endings.

"I - I'm so close already," Frank cried out, his lids squeezing shut again and his teeth gritting together as he fought back his release, "but I wanna be good."

"I know you do, you're so good for me always," Gerard soothed him while slowing down, making sure to draw Frank back from the edge before he tipped too far over, "so good that I think you deserve my fingers."

"Oh fuck - please?" Frank exhaled heavily, his legs spreading automatically as Gerard scooted off the bed so he could reach his dresser, retrieving the lube he always kept there since Frank had come into his world before returning to Frank's prone frame.

"So eager always," Gerard chuckled darkly. "I love it." He adjusted himself in his pants which were quickly becoming much too tight for his liking, his dick all but screaming for his touch, but this was all about Frank, he could take care of himself once his boyfriend was satiated. "Tell me if you need me to stop at any time," Gerard reminded him, because he could already feel his mind clouding over with the dominant nature the Frank invoked in him, and he didn't want to take this too far, especially when Frank was fragile.

There was just something about this though, being in control, having someone trust him so much that they would let them do anything to their body that had Gerard soaring higher than he did when he snorted up. He used to be the giver, the person who trusted his partner with himself and his pleasure, but after so many bad experiences, he couldn't bring himself to do that anymore, so he had learned how to be the one in charge, and he liked it more than he thought he would. He had done this was others of course, but when he was with Frank, everything was amplified a thousandfold, and Gerard felt giddy and powerful as he slicked up his fingers, his cock pulsing against his thigh as Frank groaned happily when Gerard pressed inside him without any more preamble.

Gerard would never get used to Frank's reactions, to how tight he always was, or how warm. The explicit noises he made ignited Gerard's blood and filled him with a sense of accomplishment that he had never before felt, not on stage, not in the classroom, not anywhere - Frank was all that mattered to him now. Gerard twisted his fingers steadily, angling them in the direction he had learned would have Frank falling apart within minutes, making sure to brush his prostate repeatedly as he thrust in and out of him, listening for Frank's hitched inhalations which were alerting him to how close he was getting to his release.

"Gerard," Frank cried out, his spine arching upward as Gerard pressed against his most sensitive area with a bit more force than he had been previous, "please - I need to come."

"Not yet," Gerard admonished him, pushing his fingers in one last time before pulling them out completely just before Frank lost it, earning himself a disgruntled whine from Frank.

"Why are you doing this?" Frank all but sobbed, his hands twitching at his sides as he spoke.

Gerard knew he was aching to reach down and grab his cock, he could physically see how badly Frank need to come in the blush that was staining his neck and chest and the rigidity of his muscles, but that was the point of all of this, and Gerard knew that Frank would thank him in the end.

"It's edging baby, remember what I said, how much I like this?" Gerard reminded him gently when Frank seemed a bit more coherent.

"Fuck...this is cruel," Frank laughed throatily, "but you will let me come eventually right?"

"I will, and it'll be amazing, I promise you."

"Prove it," Frank growled quietly, but Gerard wasn't going to give in so easily.

He did insert two fingers back inside of Frank's tight heat, working him to the point of ecstasy quickly once again. Frank grew louder than Gerard have ever heard him, his mouth hanging open and his hair dripping with sweat as Gerard stretched his insides with his hand, eventually adding a third finger when he was sure that Frank could take it.

Frank was shaking heavily now, his lungs working rapidly as he tried to comply with Gerard's wishes. Gerard silently thanked his luck that Mikey wasn't home right now, because god - Frank was loud, and Gerard loved it. He wanted to make Frank's volume increase, to have him screaming, so he curved his body downward until his face was hovering over Frank's stretched hole, darting his tongue out briefly to lick at his knuckles which were being clenched by the tight ring of muscles encircling them.

And Frank did scream them, his body bowing off of the bed before he pushed back down onto Gerard's face, a violent tremor wracking his frame as Gerard licked inside of him messily, twisting his tongue alongside his fingers until he felt the telltale clenching which meant that Frank was seconds away from shooting all over himself.

Gerard stopped then of course, even though he was tempted to let Frank come. He'd been so patient after all, but Gerard wasn't quite ready to give up on his game just yet. He excepted Frank's cry of dismay when he removed his fingers and tongue from his ass, but much to his delight, Frank didn't voice any verbal disappointment, he simply lay there and waited for Gerard to make his next move.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Gerard murmured quietly, his heart swelling with affection as he watched Frank twist underneath him subtly, his cock bobbing softly against his abdomen, leaking precome across his skin as he tried not to move too much as Gerard observed him.

He seemed completely lost now, but in a good way, in the way Gerard wanted him to be. His entire concentration was focused on not coming, on being good, and not on whatever had driven him to Gerard's place on the verge of tears.

"I -" Frank finally spoke when Gerard bent down to kiss at his hip bones gently, sucking lightly in the hopes of leaving a mark that he could look at later to remind himself that Frank was his.

"What is it Frankie?" Gerard pressed, using the time he was given while he waited for Frank's response to unfasten his jeans and shove them down just enough so he could release his aching dick from the confines of the hash material.

"Please...it hurts," Frank whimpered, his nails digging into the sheets as he spoke, perspiration coating his torso as he turned his body in Gerard's direction pleadingly, his cock all but begging for release.

"Yeah, okay sugar. You've been so wonderful, so I think you deserve to come now," Gerard finally gave in, knowing that anymore teasing would be more of a cruelty instead of a kindness.

So Gerard wrapped his lips around the head of Frank's dick, sinking down to the base as quickly as he could go as well as reinserting two fingers into Frank's ass, curling them in just the right way to have Frank crying out so loudly that Gerard was certain that his neighbors had heard them, but he really didn't give a fuck if they did or not.

Gerard began stroking himself with his free hand as he hollowed his cheeks around Frank, pressing his tongue against the ticking vein on the underside of his cock as he thrust into his own fist. A muffled groan left his lips as he continued to work himself with his hand, which caused Frank to thrash back and forth when the vibrations traveled down his length and through his overwhelmed body.

And this time, when Frank began shaking and tensing up, Gerard didn't stop, he just increased the suction with his lips, trying to bring Frank all the ecstasy he could possibly manage. It was only second later that Frank was calling out his name hoarsely, his hips jerking upward as his cock swelled in Gerard's mouth, a bitter taste splashing across his tongue as Frank came heavily, and kept coming.

This was why Gerard loved edging, because the end result was always worth it, and Frank seemed to agree by the noises he was making. Gerard swallowed thickly around Frank, some of his come dribbling out of the corners of his mouth as he tried to keep up with Frank's intense release. He only pulled away when Frank began to whimper quietly, oversensitivity kicking in quicker than usual after such a hard orgasm.

"Fucking hell Frank, so perfect," Gerard groaned when he had removed the last traces of Frank's spunk from his mouth, his hand working furiously over his cock as he bent over the younger man, pushing the head of his dick against Frank's sweat slick stomach as he chased his release feverishly. "Going to make me come just by watching you get off, god - I'm so hard for you."

"Do it," Frank gasped weakly, his finger fluttering weakly at his sides as if he wanted to reach out and help Gerard reach his peak but he didn't seem to contain the strength to actually move his worn out limbs, not that Gerard needed the help, he was so close that by the time Frank got a hand around him it would most likely be too late.

Gerard moaned sharply when he felt his balls draw up and his length pulsing, his orgasm approaching its peak much quicker than he thought it would, but he had stopped being surprised at how easily Frank managed to get him off quite some time ago. As horrendously cheesy as it sounded, Frank seemed to reach something deep inside of him, to touch his soul even, to make him feel things he wasn't even aware that a human could experience, and Gerard would never stop being thankful for him for stepping into his life when he had.

But Gerard's lofty thoughts were disrupted as he began shooting across his knuckles suddenly, an obscene sound leaving his lips as he decorated Frank's stomach with his come, his body jerking forward unsteadily until the powerful sensations began to ease. Gerard collapsed down next to Frank when his cock finally stopped twitching, his eyes fluttering sleepy when Frank nuzzled into him as if it was some automatic programming he had hardwired into himself.

"You good sugar?" Gerard managed to ask when he could speak again, his tongue feeling dry in his mouth as the words skated across it, but he was much too comfortable to go searching for a glass of water right now.

"Much better now," Frank nodded slowly, "that was fucking intense. I haven't come that hard in ages."

"Edging does have its advantages if you are patient," Gerard replied smugly. "It wasn't too much for you was it?" Gerard checked, because although Frank seemed sated, he had to make sure he hadn't crossed any lines.

"No, it was amazing, I promise," Frank mumbled happily. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"Luckily for me, you are easy to please," Gerard laughed quietly, wrapping his arm around Frank's back tightly, ignorant to the mess they were making of his sheets as Frank spread his come across the fabric. "I'm glad you came to me," Gerard added on after a few moments of silence, pretending to ignore the way Frank stiffened up against him, not wanting to return him to his previously distressed state by saying anything else.

"I am too," Frank finally responded. "I am sorry for this, I should have asked before just showing up, but I just - it was all too much, my mom...and my dad...and I don't know who to trust anymore besides you."

"Oh Frank," Gerard whispered, not knowing what other words to utter. He knew Frank didn't have the easiest life, but he was foggy on the details, and he didn't feel qualified to offer advice or comfort when he wasn't entirely sure what was going on.

"It's okay, I'm fine, it was just really unexpected, and I sort of lost it on my mom earlier," Frank sighed wearily.

"You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to Frank," Gerard reminded him, even though he was curious to what had occurred, but if talking about it was going to make Frank feel worse, Gerard would contain his intrigue and focus on comforting Frank the best that he could.

He knew that talking about his problems rarely helped, at least not in his case. He had done therapy, pills, the works, and he was just as fucked up as he had always been. Shoving everything down worked much better for him than anything the professionals had advised, and the same seemed to apply to Frank, but Gerard also wanted him to know that he was there for him if he wanted to unload his issues without making him feel like he was obliged to discuss them with him.

"No, I want to, I have to tell someone or I'll go insane, and I'm calmer now thanks to you." Frank inhaled loudly, as if he was steeling himself for whatever he was about to reveal next, saving Gerard from deciding if he should change the subject or not. "I already told you my dad left, two years ago, well, a bit more than that now. He actually divorced my mom for a man, which she has never forgiven him for. I have of course, I mean, it would be a bit hypocritical of me not to, but it still hurt that he abandoned me, and I've never really gotten over it."

"That's shit of him," Gerard piped up before he could stop himself, but he didn't regret his statement. Frank didn't deserve this pain, no one should have caused him this type of internal wound, especially not his father who was supposed to love him and support him no matter what.

"Yeah, that's what I thought for ages. I tried to contact him, but he never responded, so I assumed he didn't want anything to do with me, but apparently, he has been trying to reach me, I just didn't know that he was. My mother has been hiding his letters from me, but I found one today, and just - I snapped. I was so angry...I still am in a way. I get that she hates him, or who he has chosen to love. I don't expect them to be all friendly again, but he's my dad, and she made me think he had forgotten me. I think in her fucked up head, she thinks she's protecting me, and a part of me wants to forgive her, but I don't know if I can. This thing with my dad has been eating away at me for so long, but all she cares about is the fact that he likes dick, she didn't even think about my feelings. God - I was so close to telling her that I like dick I do too, but I didn't, I don't need to get kicked out right now on top of all the other shit I have to deal with."

"If she could see you now," Gerard tried to joke in an attempt to lighten the dark cloud that had overtaken the mood of the room, even though his voice cracked slightly halfway through, his heart twisting painfully as he pulled Frank even closer to his chest, the desire to protect him from every cruelty in the world overwhelming him momentarily.

"She'd flip shit," Frank chuckled wearily, "and I wish I didn't care, but she needs me, and I can't just walk out on her, which leaves me at at a loss for what to do now. My dad does want me in his life apparently, and he lives vaguely close, but after all this time, what do I say to him, and how do I deal with my mom if I do want to go see him? It's just - it's not the biggest problem in the world, but piled onto everything else, it's just too much to handle for me right now."

"Well whatever you decide, I'm here for you. If you want to go see him, I'll take you, we can hide it from your mom somehow if you think that will help. I hate that you have to live with such a judgmental woman, but don't let her stop you from doing something just because of her hatred. And if you don't want to visit your dad, that's fine too. It's all up to you, and you don't have to decide right now. If you ever want to talk about it or anything, I'm all ears, or if you just need another distraction, I am more than willing to provide that too."

"God, you're incredible," Frank sighed happily. "Thank you, for this, and everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Neither do I," Gerard murmured so quietly that he wasn't sure if Frank had heard him, he appeared to be dozing off now anyway, which was probably for the best. "Get some rest sugar, I'll be here when you wake up and we can deal with all of this then."

Frank mumbled something unintelligible in response, but Gerard didn't ask him to repeat himself. He just wanted Frank to sleep for a bit, to forget about his worries for a few hours. Gerard hoped he felt as safe and cared for as possible in his arms, because if anyone deserved happiness, it was Frank.

Gerard didn't truly believe he could properly provide that for him, but Frank seemed to think that he could, so Gerard would do whatever he could to help him through the terrible trials the world continued to throw at him. His joy was now tied into Frank's, and he was beginning to hope that maybe together they could survive this cruel universe and come out mostly unscathed, and even if he didn't, he would make sure that Frank did.

This literally took me months to write but it's done now and I am so proud of myself.

I've been struggling with a lot of mental issues lately and I've been put on depression meds which at first made me worse but now I am on a new brand and I seem to be able to vaguely function again.

I am determined to keep writing though, this brings me a sense of accomplishment that so few things do and no matter how long it takes me I promise to create new updates eventually.

Thank you all so much for your patience.

Votes and comments mean the world to me if you feel like leaving one.

I love you more than I can ever say xxx

Chapter dedicated to shxmpain

You're caught between a dream and a movie scene

- starr