Frank eventually managed to get Gerard into bed, curling up next to him so Gerard would know he was still there even in his sleep, because he wasn't going to break his promise, he was going to stay with Gerard for as long as possible, and really - there was no where else he'd rather be, even if Gerard wasn't in such a state.

Gerard had cried for what felt like hours earlier, and as much as the expulsion of sorrow had hurt Frank to witness - fuck, it had practically ripped him to shreds inside, he sensed that Gerard had needed to lose control, to completely expunge the pain and misery he kept bottled up inside him in the form of tears, so Frank had let him weep, whispering soothing nonsense the entire time until Gerard had tired himself out.

Finally, Gerard had calmed down enough to drink some water and get changed, allowing Frank to lead him into bed without a single word of protest. Gerard had refused to relinquish his hold on Frank the entire time though, even going so far as to keep a tight grasp on Frank's wrist while brushing his teeth, but Frank didn't try to pull away either, in fact, he sort of loved the way Gerard wanted to be touching him at all times, even though he knew it was out of fear of being left alone and not actually any desire for physical affection.

Now Gerard was sleeping peacefully, his larger frame wrapped around Frank's as he combed his hand through his hair idly. Mikey still hadn't returned, but Frank was almost thankful for that. It gave him an excuse to stay, even though his unexplained absence would most likely get him into trouble with his mother at a later date, but that didn't matter to Frank right now - nothing did besides Gerard.

Gerard needed Frank right now, so Frank wasn't going to abandon him, and honestly, Frank needed this too, maybe not as badly as Gerard did, but still - the simple pressure of his touch was like a healing balm to the jagged edges of his heart that had been grating at his internal organs roughly, sometimes gently, other times so strongly that Frank didn't know if he could stand the agony.

Frank had been trying so hard to pretend that everything was fine, because it was - mostly. He and Pete were friends again, his mother hadn't gotten noticeably worse, and although he missed the relationship he and Gerard had shared, he was learning to function without it.

Gerard still cared for him after all, he knew that now, even though the dark part of his mind that seemed like his own worst enemy personified was hell bent on convincing him differently, but after all this time, Gerard was still waiting for him, in fact - they had almost made it until his birthday.

It was only two more weeks until Frank turned eighteen, and although dating his teacher was still illegal, it would work out, Frank had to put faith in that. They would be discrete, and soon enough he would graduate, which would relieve all of the pressures society had forced onto their shoulders, if something else didn't go wrong before then that is.

But even though things were finally beginning to look up for Frank, he wasn't happy - hell, he didn't even think he was content. He tried to bury his misery in work, or school, or anything really, but now that Frank was given a period of calm in which to think, he began to realize that he was just as fucked up as he had always been, maybe even more so given the stress of current events.

In the past, all he had to worry about was his mother and his absent father, which had been almost more than Frank could handle. Now he had whatever existed between him and Gerard added to his plate, coupled with the awkwardness that now resided in his bond with Pete, and even though Frank prayed that everything would work itself out eventually, he was so fucking terrified that he was going to break before that happened.

Frank was hurting, he didn't know how else to describe it. There was a constant ache in the center of his chest now, even in moments like these when Gerard was pressed against his side and he should have been enjoying the calm serenity of the early morning.

Frank had originally thought the pain had been caused by Gerard leaving him when he discovered his age, that was when he first began to truly notice it, but even now that they had smoothed things out the best that they could given their circumstances, the heaviness was still there, like a stone had lodged itself inside of Frank's ribcage and he had no way to remove it without cracking his sternum wide open.

Being with Gerard helped though, it always did. It quieted his mind and gave him something else to focus on, the soft sparks that Frank still felt whenever they touched disrupted the negative ball of energy until Frank could almost pretend like it didn't exist, but it never failed to return, and Frank was beginning to wonder if it would ever go away.

Realistically he knew that he was most likely depressed, and the only way to truly heal this ailment would be with pills or therapy, but he didn't have the money for that, or the will to seek it out. His own wellbeing wasn't his top priority right now, and if he couldn't even convince his own mother to get help for herself, there was no way in hell he would be able to talk her into sending him to a doctor either.

It would get better though - it had to. Frank had it under control, and when he thought about it, he hadn't been acting nearly as destructive as he had previously besides the occasional nights of binge drinking, but now he wasn't searching for validation in other men, and he hadn't even been spending that much time at the bar. Lately he had been turning to Pete, or Brendon and Ryan, sometimes even Gerard in an attempt to stop himself from doing something stupid he would regret later on, and that progress had to mean something right?

Frank didn't know for sure, and deep down, he really didn't care. His mental health was something that he had always been unsure of, but pondering over it was doing nothing but bringing him down even more than he already was, and he didn't want to make himself upset right now, not when Gerard was in a much more fragile state than he was.

Frank wondered if what Gerard felt when he wanted to hurt himself was similar to what Frank was experiencing, or if it was an entirely different set of emotions. He had never desired to take a blade to his skin, not understanding how physical pain could soothe emotional agony, but occasionally, he wondered about it. When he had first discovered that Gerard was his teacher, Frank remembered wanting to hurt, thinking that he deserved it, but it had been a fleeting thing, not something he would have ever actually gone through with.

Frank couldn't imagine Gerard feeling as awful as he had that day, he wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially not him, but apparently he had - he still did, and Frank hated that fact. If only he could do more for him, he wanted to fix him, but Frank knew that was something Gerard would have to do for himself, and if anything, Frank would be nothing more than a helping hand to ease along the process.

Frank would probably hinder Gerard's recovery more than anything though, despite his promises that said the exact opposite. Frank had hoped that he could be a friend that Gerard could turn to in times of need if not his boyfriend, but that hadn't happened last night when Gerard had chosen to spend his entire evening at a bar without once calling Frank.

It scared Frank to think of Gerard out on his own and wanting to rip into his own skin, of him drinking until he couldn't think anymore in the hopes of escaping himself, and although Frank was proud of Gerard for resisting his compulsion to self harm, he didn't approve of the methods he had chosen, because they could kill him just as easily as a misplaced blade. Frank wanted to be a safe haven Gerard could turn to in times like that, but he knew he couldn't always be there, no matter how badly he wanted to.

That didn't mean that Frank was bitter about Gerard's choice to deal with his urges on his own, how could he be? He understood what it was like to constantly want to be around Gerard but also to be fearful of wearing out his questionable welcome, he knew how bittersweet it was to spend time with the man that he had once been able to kiss and adore without fear of any repercussions, and having that taken away warped the calming effects they had once found within each other, whether they wanted them to or not.

That was going to change though, they would be able to go back to the way things were, or close at least, and that was all that Frank had to left to look forward to lately. He knew that placing so much significance in Gerard was dangerous, because he was unstable and unsure at the best of times, but Frank didn't care.

Gerard was the best thing to happen to Frank in ages, so even though their situation was fucked up, and it seemed like the odds were stacked against them, Frank had hope in a happy ending. Why else would the world have brought them together the way it did, why would he have such a strong attraction to Gerard from the second he met him if they weren't destined to be together?

Frank loved Gerard, he could say that for certain now when he gazed down at his peaceful face, and yes - Frank had never experienced that particular emotion before, but he could think of no other term to label the overflowing well of affection he carried for the man sleeping next to him. It had to be love, otherwise he wouldn't still be here risking both of their futures for a chance at maintaining a relationship with him.

Frank was aware that most people would tell him that this was a fleeting thing, and that all seventeen year olds believe that they are going to stay with their first boyfriend forever, but Frank knew this was different. Gerard was special, and he seemed to reciprocate everything Frank felt for him and then some. Frank wasn't sure if Gerard loved him yet, or if he ever would, but he cared, and that was more than Frank had ever expected to get when they shared that first night together.

Still - the future was a scary thing to Frank, it always had been, mostly because he had nothing to look forward to besides escaping the structure that was the American school system, but now Frank had a person who made waking up seem worth it, or he would soon, but in a way, that almost made everything a thousand times more terrifying.

Frank had told Pete that he could see himself marrying Gerard, and that wasn't a lie, but it could very well be wishful thinking. Gerard might never want to take that step, or he might eventually tire of Frank, but those fears were insignificant compared to the sensations Frank was feeling right now when Gerard sighed softly and burrowed closer against Frank's side.

Frank knew then and there that Gerard was worth everything he had suffered through and more, and even if this ended in tragedy, that was a chance that Frank was willing to take. He had never experienced these emotions with anyone else, so teenage romance or not, Frank wasn't going to allow himself to be deterred. The benefits outweighed the risks in his mind at least, and no matter how broken, or how illegal their relationship was, it made Frank happy.

He and Gerard might be held together by fragile pieces of scotch tape and a smattering of glue right now, but it gave them a chance to sew themselves together, to find the shards of their shattered lives and make a new one from the wreckage. It wasn't an impossible dream, unlikely yes - but doable, and Frank was done hiding, of avoiding the things that pained him, because during the hour or so he and spent in silent contemplation, the ache in his chest had begun to lessen slightly, and that was a sign to Frank that for once, he was doing the right thing by sticking this out when most people would have given up long ago.

Having reached a mostly pleasant conclusion to his drawn out train of thought, Frank allowed his body to relax, the knots of tension that had been plaguing him ever since he first saw Gerard in the parking lot finally unwinding as he stretched out next to Gerard, daring to place a soft kiss to the crown of his head before he settled down with a tired sigh.

~~~

Frank hadn't meant to fall asleep, not wanting to miss it if Gerard awoke, but apparently his body had other ideas. Frank wasn't sure how long he had spent dozing, but he felt significantly more rested than he had when he had initially drifted off, so he would guess that a few hours had passed since he had arrived at Gerard's place.

Frank sighed happily under his breath once he made sure that Gerard was still sleeping peacefully with a quick glance to his right, enjoying the warmth Gerard provided almost as much as his presence next to him. Frank would give up all of his worldly possessions to be able to wake up this way every day, and even if he was blessed enough to have that happen to him, Frank didn't think he would ever tire of it.

Frank carefully pulled his phone out of his pocket a few seconds later, grateful to see that he had no missed calls from his mother just yet. There was a text from Mikey asking if everything was all right coupled with an apology for not answering earlier that had been sent about fifteen minutes ago, to which Frank replied with a short explanation and a promise that he had the situation under control now.

Frank placed his phone on the bedside dresser once he was finished going through his messages, turning his attention to Gerard instead of the outside world. The older man looked much better than he had this morning, although it was hard to judge his state without him being awake. He was breathing deeply at least, his eyelashes fluttering faintly and his mouth slightly ajar in a manner that Frank found ridiculously endearing.

"Frankie?" Gerard groaned softly when Frank moved his arm so he could rub at his eyes lazily, and although Frank cursed himself for unintentionally disturbing the older man, he instantly felt his lips twitch into a smile when Gerard didn't pull away from him, the gesture seeming to radiate deep inside of him until his earlier pain became a distant memory.

It wasn't lost on Frank how the once hated nickname had become a treasured thing whenever Gerard uttered it, in fact - he almost looked forward to the term of endearment now since it carried memories of Gerard with it instead of only painful recollections involving happier days with his father.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Frank whispered softly, not wanting to aggravate the hangover that Gerard most likely had, keeping himself still as if any sudden movements would startle Gerard and ruin the peaceful moment.

"You stayed," Gerard murmured instead of answering Frank's question, and he sounded so grateful for that fact, even though leaving had never been an option in Frank's head, which he had assumed Gerard knew as well.

"I said that I would," Frank shrugged, downplaying his actions unconsciously, because it was second nature for him to protect Gerard however he could, and he would have done much more than drive him home and kept him company if that meant ensuring his safety.

"I keep forgetting how wonderful you are," Gerard chuckled softly, a faint blush staining his cheeks before he ducked his head down, hiding his features from Frank's steady gaze.

Frank had to pause for a moment, his throat clenching tightly as an unexpected round of tears filled his eyes. He refused to let them fall though, because he had no reason to be getting so emotional over a simple sentence, swallowing them away with a supreme effort of will that left him feeling dizzy and lightheaded.

Gerard's words had struck Frank harder than they should, but fuck - it was so rare that Gerard was like this with him anymore, and Frank was weakened by the distance between them, desperate for any compliment or affection from the older man who could bring him to his knees with nothing more than an off handed comment.

It wasn't as if Gerard was ever cruel to him, but typically he was aloof unless Frank was intoxicated or he was, and the last time he had been this kind to Frank was when he had gotten sick after Mikey had brought him back to his and Gerard's place, which seemed to have happened years ago although in reality it had only been a few weeks since that night.

"You needed me," Frank finally managed to reply, shifting his position so that he could sit up with his back propped against the headboard as he spoke, "and I'm always going to be there when you do."

"You don't know how much that means to me," Gerard admitted quietly, and maybe Frank imagined it, but it seemed as if he scooted closer to Frank as he spoke. "Still - I'm sorry you had to see me that way, I should never have gone to work, or even had that much to drink in the first place, but I obviously wasn't thinking clearly, and I owe you a hell of a lot for getting me out of there when you did, and also for not leaving me alone."

"I'm just glad that I was the one to find you - fuck," Frank cursed weakly, vivid images of what could have happened if Frank hadn't spotted Gerard when he did flashing across his mind, involving everything from violent car crashes to him being fired for his deplorable condition flickering behind his lids when he closed his eyes briefly. "I don't know what I would have done if you had gotten hurt."

"I know - it was stupid of me, but I didn't know how else to cope..." Gerard trailed off into silence, his hand finding Frank's underneath the tangled covers, and when he linked their fingers together loosely, Frank swore his lungs seized to function for a brief moment, his bodily functions disrupted by the jolt of adulation that fired throughout every one of his nerve endings. "I think I need help Frank."

"Yeah?" Frank questioned warily, aware that they were treading on dangerous ground at the movement. Mikey had warned him that Gerard hated talking about anything involving his addictions and illnesses, but this time Gerard had brought it up, and he was peering at Frank with such a hopeful expression that Frank couldn't find it within himself to be fearful of him. "In what way?"

"I - I just want to be better, like maybe take my pills how I'm supposed to and not drink as much you know?" Gerard shrugged helplessly, his grip on Frank's hand tightening by a small fraction. "I don't think I can do it by myself though, I'll need Mikey to get after me about it...and you, if you're up for that."

"Of course I am," Frank responded instantly, his heart fluttering erratically when Gerard began rubbing his thumb over the pulse point in his wrist idly. "I just want you to be happy, I hate seeing you this way."

"Thank you," Gerard exhaled heavily, his eyes drifting shut as he leaned back against the pillow. "Don't get upset with me if I don't keep to it though."

"I won't, and at least you're trying, I'm proud of you for that."

"I've attempted this before, and...well, you can see how that worked out," Gerard chuckled wryly, but Frank didn't miss the hint of sadness to his tone, and he hated the way Gerard was already anticipating his failure, even though he also related to him as well.

"No one expects you to be perfect Gerard," Frank reminded him, biting his lip to prevent himself from babbling on about how he would always be perfect in his eyes no matter what, or of how much he loved him despite all of his problems, but that was too much, too heavy, too soon. Frank had only just truly come to accept his feelings recently, and he was nowhere near ready to voice them aloud yet.

"I know, but I do need to calm down a bit. I haven't been this bad in a while, not since...the band." Gerard cleared his throat roughly, his eyes dancing away from Frank's when he tried to meet his gaze, leaving Frank to stare down at the lump under the comforter that was their conjoined hands instead. "It's harder now, it's been so long since I've had to work a normal job, which really shouldn't set me off, but it's weird you know? I have to teach these kids who probably have more of a future than I do all while pretending that I'm put together and knowledgeable when really I'm a wreck. I need the money, and it's not like I hate what I'm doing, that's not even the main problem, fuck - it's everything really...but it's mostly my head, and Mikey, and I - I miss you a lot," Gerard admitted so quietly that Frank had to strain his ears to catch his last words, his eyes stinging again when he realized that Gerard's current descent was partially his fault.

"I'm so sorry," Frank choked out, trying his best to mask his emotions so Gerard wouldn't catch on to his misplaced guilt, "but you know I'm still here whenever you need me."

"I do know that," Gerard nodded slowly, his chest rising visibly as he inhaled deeply, "but I think it would be easier for me to turn myself around if you were my boyfriend again."

"Two more weeks right?" Frank asked nervously, his voice audibly shaking, the pressure of Gerard's palm in his seeming to overwhelm him all of a sudden even though it hadn't changed since the initial contact, but the atmosphere had shifted now - it was tense, charged with an energy that Frank couldn't pinpoint the source of, but it was there nonetheless.

"Yeah," Gerard paused then, his eyes finally meeting Frank's for a brief moment before they darted away again, "but I was thinking, I mean - this is already pretty illegal, whether we wait until you're eighteen or not, and in hindsight, it probably won't matter when we actually make it official as long as we don't tell anyone. I still want to wait to do anything physical until your birthday, just for my peace of mind, which is silly since we've already fucked but I -"

"Gerard," Frank cut off Gerard's nervous rambling, his spine stiffening and his eyes widening as he turned on his side so he could be closer to Gerard, "are you asking me to be your boyfriend again?"

"I am - if that's okay?"

Frank started crying then, taking himself by surprise with the sudden overflow of emotions, but he couldn't stop them once they had started. An unforeseen wave of joy filled tears poured out of him as he buried his face in Gerard's chest, a sob tinged with a laugh bubbling its way through his chest which felt lighter than it had in ages. Gerard held Frank close as he continued to weep happily, his long fingered hands petting over Frank's spine until he had regained his composure.

"You're serious right, like you want us to be together now instead of on my birthday?" Frank had to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, because this seemed too good to be true, not that he was complaining, but he couldn't verbalize his answer until he was certain that this wasn't an elaborate prank his own mind was playing on him.

Frank had never imagined that this would be the outcome that would follow him taking Gerard home, he had thought Gerard would thank him for his kindness and then send him away after he had recuperated, but now Frank was getting everything he had so desperately been aching for, lending a dreamlike quality to the event that was unfolding before Frank's eyes like a cheesy movie starring Gerard and himself.

"I do, I always have - I only broke up with you because I thought it was for the best, but you haven't moved on, and I'm obviously a mess. I think I'm finally starting to believe you when you say you don't want anyone but me, and although I'm still convinced that you'd be better off with someone else, not to mention we'll have to be really careful, if you're willing to risk so much for me, then I am too."

"I meant it, I'll always mean it, you're special to me Gerard, and I want to be with you so badly that it hurts," Frank reiterated, and he would keep saying it over and over again until Gerard was incapable of doubting him. "I know I lied and fucked up what we had, but I swear I'll be honest with you from now on," Frank added, pleading his case as if his very life was on the line, and in a way, it felt like it was.

"I know sugar, I understand why you did it. I'm not good with deception, but I'm starting to trust you again. You told me about your hookup when you didn't have to, and that meant more to me than any amount of promises you could have given me, but if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I would have been able to stay away from you even if I was convinced that you were a liar."

"I'm not, I still regret not telling you sooner, I hated deceiving you," Frank murmured, and he knew he would never lie to Gerard again. He would tell him everything about his past if he asked right now without a second thought, from his mother to his father to what he had for dinner last night and everything in between. Frank trusted Gerard as well, more than anyone except maybe Pete, which was a terrifying thing given how much power Gerard had over him, but he would never judge him, or use the information Frank imparted to him in a negative fashion, Frank was certain of that.

Now wasn't the time for a random confessional though, Frank would work his way up to explaining all of that eventually, but at the moment, he wanted to focus on Gerard's proposition. A part of Frank was still leery, because Gerard had been the one who was so dead-set on waiting until Frank was eighteen before making anything official between them, and he wasn't sure what had changed.

They were both obviously suffering because of this separation, but that was nothing new. Still - maybe Gerard had finally reached his breaking point, maybe Frank meant more to him than he knew, and Gerard needed to repair their bond before he could begin mending himself. He had said that he would withhold sex after all, which was the main reason their relationship was illegal since he couldn't technically consent, but if that was all that had been bothering Gerard, why hadn't he offered Frank that option in the first place?

Frank wanted to question Gerard, to sift through his mind until he was one hundred percent positive that Gerard was serious about this, because if he wasn't, Frank wouldn't be able to handle another break up - it would destroy him completely, but at the same time, he was too afraid to bring up his queries in case it made Gerard rethink his impromptu decision, so after a few seconds of internal deliberation, Frank stayed silent, waiting to see what Gerard would say next, biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from spilling his worries aloud.

And in the end, Frank didn't want Gerard to think logically about this, because nothing about their situation made any iota of sense. They should have parted ways when they discovered that Gerard was Frank's teacher, but they hadn't. Something kept them together, an invisible pull that followed no rules of logic or reason. It was that force that had drawn Frank to Gerard in the first place, and Frank knew Gerard felt it too, so maybe its strength had worn down Gerard's initial resolve of waiting until Frank was of consenting age to solidify their relationship.

"Well good, so now that we have that settled, do you want to be my boyfriend again?" Gerard spoke up, almost as if he had read Frank's mind and realized that he needed to hear the question again before he could give his answer, and as soon as Frank heard the term boyfriend falling from Gerard's lips for the second time that afternoon, his fears melted away completely, because it didn't matter why Gerard had changed his mind, not as long as he wanted Frank, and he did - Frank could see it in his eyes which were focused and bright, not a hint of alcohol or any other substance clogging his irises as he gazed up at Frank steadily.

"Please?" Frank all but whimpered, his limbs trembling noticeably as reality began to sink in and he finally started to comprehend the fact that this was actually happening.

Gerard only grinned in response, his expression so relieved and genuine that it had Frank smiling just by looking at him. Gerard sat up slightly when Frank failed to say anything else, hooking his arms around Frank's shoulders before he dragged Frank down until their lips connected for the first time in months, and fuck - Frank had forgotten how much he loved this, the gentle pressure, the unbridled affection, everything that had been barred to him was finally free territory once more, and even if all they did was kiss until his birthday, Frank couldn't care less right now.

Frank sighed happily against Gerard's mouth, his fingers tangling in the longer locks of hair at the back of his neck as they continued to kiss lazily, small jolts of pure joy filling Frank until he was sure he would burst from the intensity of it all, but he honestly wouldn't mind if this killed him, his heart could stop right now and he would be just fine with that.

Gerard was finally his again, and more importantly, he was Gerard's. They were both still broken people, but they were trying to fix that, and two pairs of hands were better at putting things back together than one. They were going to be okay, they would make it out of the pit they had both fallen into, Frank would help Gerard get himself back on track, and maybe in the process, he would right his own life as well.

This chapter's a bit of a mess but so am I tbh.

It's short too compared to what I usually write but I really didn't have anything else to add to it this time.

I'm fond of it though like I started writing it when I was in an awful mood but by the end I cheered myself up with it so that's good.

And Frank and Gerard are finally together again. Idk if this is how I originally planned for it to happen honestly I've been writing this fic for so long that everything is getting muddled up in my head but we've got some plot and happiness so I'm pleased with myself.

Votes and comments are always lovely if you feel like leaving one.

Chapter dedicated to raytorofro

I'm a pain in women's clothes

xo starr