Frank wasn't sure how long he stayed curled up in that same spot, but eventually, he knew that his solitary moment had come to an end, as all things must, so with a weary sigh that seemed to come from the bottom of his toes, Frank heaved himself to a standing position, patting the ground fondly in a silent farewell before turning back the way he had come, stretching his stiff legs as much as possible in an effort to arrive home in a somewhat timely manner.

And as much as Frank wasn't looking forward to facing whatever was awaiting for him within the four walls that he now loathed more than he most teenagers should, at least Frank didn't have to worry about work on top of the stress that came with looking after his mother; he had taken the week off from the restaurant in order to acclimate himself to the new school year, or at least, that was the excuse he had fed to his boss who had bought it hook, line, and sinker. Frank hadn't been aware of how badly he would need the mini-vacation until just now, but he was grateful for his unintended foresight, because the added pressure of making it through a shift in his current state would surely have broken him, not that he wasn't borderline destroyed already.

Frank didn't feel on the verge of ruination right now though, in fact, he might almost be able to say that he okay if he was asked; his detour to his and Gerard's place had done wonders for his fragile psyche, and apparently spending a few hours reminiscing over all the good times he and Gerard had shared had been exactly what he needed to revive his weary body for a short time, even his feet felt lighter as he continued onward at a brisk pace.

As Frank walked, he found his mind wandering to the topic involving why he was so emotionally devastated over what had occurred between him and Gerard, and with his newfound semblance of peace still lingering after his stay in the meadow, Frank began to realize that his reaction was decidedly odd when he took a step back and truly looked at their situation with a critical eye.

Gerard was important to Frank - that was a given, but why did he mean so much to him, and how had he managed to slip through Frank's defensives that he rarely let down, and never as quickly as he had done for Gerard. Frank had only known him for a little more than a month, which was a tiny blip of time relatively speaking, but he had somehow become Frank's entire world in the span of four short weeks, which led Frank to ponder how much their bond would have grown if Gerard wasn't Frank's teacher.

Frank had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would never be privileged enough to find out though, because Gerard still hadn't contacted him, and fuck - with every second that passed without some form of reassurance from the older man, Frank was quickly beginning to lose hope in the fact that Gerard might be able to see past his age once the initial shock had worn off.

That didn't mean that Frank was going to stop waiting for him though - hell, Frank would probably hold out for Gerard for the rest of his life if Gerard asked him to, but still - Frank wasn't sure how much longer he could last without doing something idiotic like confronting Gerard in his classroom. He didn't want to cause a scene, he just wanted some acknowledgment, a wave - anything really, even a simple touch would be enough to keep him going until Gerard decided what would become of them and their illegal relationship.

Frank wondered if he was simply fooling himself into believing that he and Gerard had something special, that maybe he was somehow inflating everything to give his life some sense of purpose that he had been missing ever since his father left. Gerard was his first real boyfriend after all, and even though he had been with numerous people sexually over the course of his short life, they had never captured his interest like Gerard had managed to, which could all be an easily explained product caused by teenage hormones and actually feeling wanted for once.

But no - there was more to their connection, something besides for physical attraction and a desire for attention that every human possessed, there was an emotion there that was even more intense than anything Frank had ever experienced before. Frank wasn't sure if he believed in soul mates, or true love, but if he did, he would have labeled Gerard as one of the aforementioned without a doubt, because this wasn't some high school romance, or a passing fling that Frank would forget about a few years down the line, Frank was convinced of that, and even though he wasn't sure how he knew, Frank wasn't going to fight against the conclusion that he had reached soon after meeting Gerard. 

He needed Gerard, that much was certain, even if it was only as a friend for now, but this radio silence was killing him faster than the deadliest poison slipped into his drink ever could, so Frank either had to find a way to dull the agony he was constantly plagued with, or he had to convince Gerard to give him another chance as soon as possible.

Imbued with a new sense of hope that was lacking in any form of a true foundation, and really, its random appearance was a mystery in and of itself, Frank pulled out his phone quickly, dialing Gerard's number as a soft grin tugged at the corner of his lips. He had no reason to believe that Gerard would pick up this time, he hadn't done so any of the times before after all, but Frank wasn't going to question the sudden rush of positivity that he was currently experiencing, in fact, he soaked in every ounce of it that he could get gratefully as he brought the device up to his ear.

But as Frank should have expected, but for some idiotic reason, he hadn't, the call went straight to voicemail after three rings, leaving Frank shell shocked and shattered as he gazed down at the screen as if the device could provide him with some guidance involving what the fuck he was supposed to do now.

But when no answering call came in, no text - nothing, Frank felt all of his earlier jubilation draining out of him with a rapidness that left him reeling and woozy, even though it was really his own fault for investing so much faith in something which such a small success rate. Frank should have known better than to assume that just because he was starting to heal slightly that it didn't mean that Gerard had come to terms with Frank's deception just yet, so he only had himself to blame for jumping to conclusions in the first place.

Still - the ignored phone call hurt more than Frank had thought that it would, and now it seemed as if the minute progress he had made earlier was nonexistent. If anything, Frank was just as upset as he had been when he had walked into his classroom to find Gerard waiting for him - maybe even more so now that the initial shock had worn off and Frank was beginning to truly come to terms with the fact that no matter how strongly he felt toward Gerard, he obviously didn't feel the same way.

A sudden rush of anger slithered through Frank's bloodstream along with the pain that had become customary to him; Frank was furious, not necessarily at Gerard, or even at himself, just this entire situation. It wasn't fair - not that anything in his life ever was, but just this once, was it too much for Frank to ask for a happy ending?

Apparently so, because Gerard didn't respond to Frank's call the entire way home, or while he was making his mother dinner, or even when he was cleaning up the kitchen. With each passing second, Frank found himself getting more and more wound up, his skin began to feel too tight, and he knew he had to release this tension somehow before it consumed him entirely.

Frank tried to speak with his mother again, using his previous story about a girl that he was interested in as a basis, providing a bit more detail in the hopes of invoking some sort of response out of her, but although she was in a better mood than yesterday, her attention span was decidedly lacking, and when Frank continued to prod her for some sort of advice, she had simply told him that 'she trusted him, and whatever he decided to do would work out for the best one way or the other'.

Frank didn't appreciate the sweet sentiment though, because it didn't make him feel any better; he wanted someone to listen to him, to actually hear his words without brushing them off, to care, to try and help him out of this mess without blaming him for getting into it in the first place, just like Gerard would have done if Frank could still turn to him whenever he needed any form of reassurance.

Frank briefly considered heading down to his favorite bar, because Brendon was always willing to lend an ear to his problems without passing judgment, but Frank was still suffering from the aftereffects of his hangover caused by last night's binge drinking session, even though the headache and weak stomach that had been plaguing him all day had finally begun to lessen slightly - still, more alcohol wasn't what he was looking for right now, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to spill his troubles to Brendon after his last visit in which he had done nothing besides for brag about how perfect Gerard was.

Finally, Frank ended up calling Pete, not that he was his last resort in most things, but Frank knew how Pete would react to hearing Frank's tale, and his sort of comfort wasn't what Frank was searching for right now. Pete would want to hear the entire story, forcing Frank to relive the events once more through his words, he wouldn't allow Frank to ramble, and cry, and simply expel his emotions like he needed to, he would want to view the situation with a logical eye, which would inevitably bring him to the conclusion that Frank should leave Gerard before he got hurt any more than he already was, which wasn't what Frank wanted to hear, but he was out of options by this point, and it was too late now, because the phone had already clicked quietly, alerting Frank to the fact that Pete had picked up.

"Hey Frank, what's up?" Pete's cheerful voice came over the line, inspiring Frank to move away from his mother's room so she wouldn't hear his end of the conversation. She had chosen to call it a day earlier than she typically did, and even though Frank was slightly worried about what had caused her exhaustion that she had carried plainly on her shoulders for the entire evening, it also meant that he was free to do whatever he wanted for the rest of the night, so he pushed his misgivings aside for now, focusing on his best friend's words instead.

"Nothing really," Frank lied, even though Pete would find out the truth soon enough. "Would it be okay if I came over for a bit?" Frank asked, because although it wasn't that late, the sun was still up at least, Frank knew Pete's parents had certain restrictions about him having company over on a school night, even though they sometimes bent the rules when Frank was involved.

"Yeah that should be okay," Pete responded excitedly, "Mom and Dad went out on some sort of date thing, but I doubt they would mind."

"Okay, I'll be there soon."

"Is everything okay?" Pete asked before Frank could hang up, leaving him trapped with the phone held at an awkward angle as he tried to decide if he should pretend that he hadn't heard Pete's query or not.

"Uh..." Frank stammered out when too much time had passed for him to fake ignorance, "not really, but I'll explain more in person."

Frank quickly ended the call before Pete had a chance to pry any further, stealthily escaping out the front door after slipping on his shoes, grabbing his mother's keys on the way since he didn't feel up for any more walking today, and within minutes, Frank was pulling out of the driveway, turning the wheel in the direction of Pete's place as he purposely kept his mind as blank as possible, not wanting to show up on Pete's doorstep on the verge of breaking down in tears, and the only way to ensure that was to avoid any and all thoughts of Gerard, which was easier said than done.

~~~

Frank managed to keep his composure as he followed Pete into his room after being engulfed by his friend's traditional hug that is, the contact actually calming Frank's earlier agitation to the point that Frank found himself nuzzling against Pete's chest, losing himself in the feeling of being held by someone else for a few short moments, even if he would much rather prefer having Gerard's arms wrapped around his small frame, but he would take any sort of affectionate that he could get right now.

Much to Frank's surprise, Pete hadn't immediately attacked him with questions involving what was bothering him, instead, he allowed Frank to shuffle around his room aimlessly, his hands brushing over Pete's numerous CD's and movies, putting off the inevitable explanation he knew he owed his friend for as long as possible, although a part of him was bursting at the seams to finally tell someone everything that had occurred over the past two days.

"Come here Frank, you are making me dizzy with your pacing," Pete finally spoke up after a few minutes, snapping Frank's head up in the process, and it was only then that he realized that he had indeed been wearing a path into Pete's carpet without being aware of it, leaving an obvious line in-between his desk and his bookshelf which had been Frank's starting and ending points for his impromptu wandering.

Kicking off his shoes hastily, Frank let his body go limp as Pete latched onto his wrist, dragging Frank down onto the mattress next to him with a slight tug. Frank immediately burrowed into the plush comforter, dragging the blanket up over his shoulders as if it was a shield that could protect him from everything that was hurting him, although his wounds had already been inflicted, and no amount of armor would help them heal by this point.

"I -" Frank halted as soon as he began, knowing that he had to start somewhere, but not quite sure how to do that without losing his tenuous grip on his unruly emotions, his throat swelling up as Pete gazed down at him with concerned eyes, his fingers grazing over the skin of Frank's arm gently as Frank heaved in a sudden rush of air. "I fucked up Pete," Frank finally settled on saying, his lids squeezing shut as his head fell backward, landing on the nearby pillow with a soft thump. "Gerard found out my real age."

"Shit..." Pete exhaled heavily, his grip on Frank tightening slightly before he forced himself to relax. "How did he take it?"

"Not too badly considering the way it happened," Frank chuckled weakly, finding humor in his own pain for a brief moment.

"Which was?" Pete prodded gently, shifting their position so Frank was now pressed up against Pete's side, his familiar heat pulling Frank away from the edge of the tears for a few more seconds.

"He's my music theory teacher," Frank answered bluntly, his voice emitting cold and dead as he spoke, his teeth digging into his lower lip as he waited for what Pete was going to say next.

"Oh fuck - you have to be kidding...right?" Pete gasped, his shocked expression melting into one of pity as Frank shook his head weakly. "Frank...that's like - seriously messed up."

"Don't you think I know that?" Frank whimpered softly, even though he had no problem with Gerard's age, or his occupation, even though he understood why Pete did, but he didn't have the energy to expend arguing the semantics of it with Pete, he wouldn't agree with Frank no matter how much conviction he put behind his sentiments.

"So what happened after that?" Pete asked in a whisper, his expression border-lining on comical as he attempted to contain himself until Frank was finished with his story.

"I - I tried to talk to him after class, but he yelled at me, told me to leave him alone, but I just couldn't do that, so I went to his apartment. We spoke for a bit once he got home, but I - fuck Pete, he's been ignoring me ever since, and I know our relationship is illegal, but still - I can't lose him, not like this. I just want to understand what's going on in his head, to make sure that he is okay, to be his friend if nothing else, but it seems like he is debating on whether or not to wash his hands of me, and the waiting is killing me...I think I'm going insane."

Frank's strength broke after his expulsion of words, and before he could stop himself, he was sobbing into Pete's t-shirt, his hands digging into the fabric he had draped around him as he cried loudly, Pete's hushed murmurs becoming lost among his ugly tears, but he did feel the pressure of Pete's hand on his spine pulling him closer to his friend, rubbing gently in a soothing way as Frank bit the inside of his mouth roughly, using the physical pain to stifle his sorrows the best that he could.

"Don't cry Frank, it's going to be alright," Pete begged quietly, his tone emitting in a slightly gruff fashion, leading Frank to believe that his own emotional display was affecting Pete more than he had previously thought it would. "I hate seeing you like this, I wish I could make it so that you would never be hurt again."

And even though Frank would usually brush off Pete's kindness, stating that he would be fine eventually, he couldn't do that this time, because he honestly wasn't sure if he would. Gerard had changed his entire life, and he shuddered at the thought of going back to a world in which Gerard held no part in it, it was an unfeasible task now anyway.

"I just - fuck," Frank stuttered, a second round of tears causing his sentence to emit in a garbled fashion as he forced himself to speak through them. "I feel like I'm dying without him, and I know that's unhealthy, and overdramatic, but it's the truth. Everything hurts, it's as if I'm being ripped in half over and over again, and just when I finally find the energy to start stitching myself up, I somehow manage to rip out the thread and make everything worse than it was before."

"It's normal to be upset Frank, I mean...he was your first boyfriend, and having a fallout with that person is never easy, but think of it this way...he was going to discover the fact that you are seventeen sooner or later, and it least it happened now before you got even more attached. I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment, but you will move on from this."

Frank groaned under his breath once Pete's speech was finished, because this was exactly the type of advice that he didn't want to hear right now. He knew that Pete thought he was being helpful, but he didn't understand how much Gerard meant to him, so he wasn't able to fully comprehend the magnitude of Frank's heartache.

"I don't think I will," Frank protested stubbornly, pushing himself away from Pete slightly so he could fix him with a serious look as he spoke. "Gerard is special to me, and I - I think I might be falling in love with him," Frank admitted, surprising himself with his honesty, because he hadn't been intending to reveal that fact just yet, actually - he wasn't entirely sure if what he was experiencing was the beginnings of love or not, but once his statement hit the open air, Frank knew it was the truth, it was the only explanation for why he was so affected by all of this.

"Are...are you sure?" Frank could physically see Pete attempting to hold back the 'I told you so' that was residing at the tip of his tongue but much to his surprise, Pete didn't glorify in the fact that he had been right all along, in fact, he looked just as upset as Frank felt at the moment.

"Yeah...I am, I mean - I'm not in love with him yet, but I really think I could be soon, and I know you told me that this would happen, and I should have listened to you from the start, but I can't stay away from Gerard, he is worth all of this pain - he's worth everything, but I can't handle not knowing how he feels about me, or if he is ever going to talk to me again, and I just need someone to agree with me right now, believe me - I am aware of how much of an idiot I have been, so I don't need to hear it too.

"I wasn't going to say that," Pete huffed, but Frank didn't miss the slightly guilty expression that crossed over his face momentarily, "but you are right, you don't need to listen to me pretending to know shit about you two, because I don't, and hey - maybe Gerard isn't purposely shutting you out, and I'm sure he cares for you a hell of a lot too, so please don't cry." Pete whimpered as Frank began shuddering violently, his damp cheeks receiving another layer of moisture as Pete's words had the opposite effect that he had intended them to have.

"I can't seem to stop," Frank hiccupped, all of his earlier tension bleeding out of him in the form of tears, leaving him exhausted and aching as Pete began to rock him gently. "I know we can't really be together as long as he is my teacher, but...fucking hell - I hate this so much."

"I know Frankie...I'm so sorry," Pete muttered solemnly, his repetitive motions lulling Frank more than Frank had expected them too. "I'm here for you, and I'll do whatever I can to help you feel better, just let me know." Pete punctuated his words with a light kiss to Frank's forehead, the usually affectionate gesture causing Frank to gasp aloud once he felt Pete's lips against his overheated skin, the simple touch resonating differently within him than it usually did.

"I just want the pain to stop...just for a little while," Frank sighed heavily, debating on if he should just ignore his upset stomach and drink himself into oblivion anyway, despite the fact that he knew he would get sick soon after. His only other option for burying his problems had always involved sex after all...

Almost before the thought had fully sunk in, Frank found himself lunging for Pete's mouth, his eyes finally drying up as their torsos collided heavily, the sensation of having someone else's body so close to his own leaving Frank aching for more, because although Pete wasn't Gerard, he also didn't remind Frank of Gerard in any way like he was sure a random hookup would do, but Pete was just Pete: his best friend, his fuck buddy, and he needed physical contact right now more than he ever had before.

"Frank - wait," Pete heaved out, pulling himself away from Frank forcibly as he spoke, derailing Frank's plans entirely, and much to his chagrin, Frank found himself on the verge of tears again, because Pete wasn't supposed to question this, he never had in the past, but Frank had also never been taken during the activities either, even though he was almost entirely convinced that Gerard didn't consider the two of them together any longer.

"Please - I need this," Frank all but begged, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he quickly ripped his shirt off, suddenly feeling entirely too hot in the small room even though he had been comfortable not two minutes ago.

"But...Gerard - I mean, this might not be the best idea. You are really torn up over this whole thing, and I think that you should -"

"I swear to god Pete if you don't fuck me right now, I am going to find someone else that will," Frank growled, cutting Pete off midsentence with his aggressive statement, and even though his threat was an empty one - he most likely would curl up with a bottle of vodka instead if Pete really didn't want to do this - much to Frank's relief, Pete gave in easily, rapidly throwing off his clothes before pinning Frank down against the bed, his lips immediately latching onto Frank's neck as Frank moaned happily.

"Yeah - fuck Pete," Frank heaved out, his hands tangling in Pete's dark hair as his mind finally shut down for a short time, his brain now otherwise occupied with how fucking good it felt when Pete scrapped his teeth over Frank's sensitive skin.

"I've missed this," Pete murmured against Frank's shoulder blade while tugging down Frank's pants, his movements hurried and choppy as if he couldn't wait another second to get Frank naked. Frank simply gasped in reply, and really - it had been quite some time since they had done anything sexual with each other, but Frank had been too caught up with Gerard to think about it until just now.

And although Frank had expected to instantly become overwhelmed with guilt caused by what he was doing, because even if Gerard didn't classify them a couple anymore, Frank did, but once Pete began inching two fingers inside of him, Frank could think of nothing else besides for the delicious sensation of being so filled, or the bursts of pleasure that were shooting up his spine as Pete's scissored his digits widely.

Frank knew that hiding his problems this way was wrong, and although he might feel better at the moment, he would most likely regret everything in the morning, but still - he was too lost in the ecstasy he was experiencing to stop now, and he didn't want the ache in his heart to return just yet, so Frank shoved his misgivings to the back of mind as he bounced on Pete's hand greedily.

"I'm ready - come on," Frank demanded, his eyes rolling up in the back of his head as Pete sucked on his nipples heavily, his slick fingers buried to the second knuckle as he nipped at the raised buds avidly.

"Yeah - fuck," Pete nodded eagerly, somehow managing to seem even more desperate than Frank, imbuing Frank with that sense of being wanted that he hadn't experienced since he had been with Gerard, and even though that hadn't been long ago at all, it might have well as been eons to Frank since he had last felt Gerard's naked skin against his.

And once Pete was fully inside of Frank, his hard length twitching as Frank cried out at the sudden stretch, Frank forgot about his current heartache, in fact - he ceased to think of Gerard entirely, drowning his pain in Pete's movements that were hitting just the right spot, leaving Frank shaky and breathless with pleasure instead of tears for the first time in far too long.

~~~

It took Gerard an embarrassingly long amount of time to work up the courage to call Frank after his discussion with his friends, involving Gerard simply staring down at Frank's contact name more often than not, trying to decide if he was really ready to do this, and what he was going to say if he was.

It wasn't as if Gerard didn't want to talk to Frank - in fact, he was dying to, but he was terrified of what that conversation would involve, and he didn't trust himself to hold true to his earlier decision to take things slowly between them once he had heard Frank's voice.

Still - Gerard had promised Mikey that he would do this, and although he had long ago retreated to his room for some semblance of privacy when - if the conversation between he and Frank ever occurred, he could still feel Mikey's eyes on him like they had been for most of the night, so before he could rethinking this any more than he already had, he pressed send, his hands physically trembling as he held in breath in anticipation.

But when four rings had passed, followed by the monotone voice asking Gerard to leave a message after the beep - Frank had never gotten around to setting up his own greeting apparently, Gerard could barely comprehend what had happened, even though it was obvious. Frank hadn't picked up, that much was clear, but Gerard didn't want to accept that, not after it had taken him so long to talk himself into making the call in the first place.

Maybe Frank was just busy, and he would phone back at any moment, but still - Gerard knew Frank didn't work this week, he had informed him of that before Frank's secret regarding his age had been revealed, and it was much too early for Frank to have gone to bed being that it was barely nine in the evening.

Gerard knew it was ridiculous to expect Frank to always pick up on the first try, but he had always done so before, even when Gerard phoned him up at three in the morning once, and Gerard found himself wondering if Frank was giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Gerard deserved that if that was truly what Frank was doing after all of the calls from Frank he had ignored, the most recent being from this afternoon, but Gerard couldn't imagine Frank restoring to those methods. He wasn't a spiteful person, not in the least, but it was possible that Gerard's radio silence had pushed him into acting outside of his normal behavior, even though Gerard truly hoped that wasn't the case, because that would mean that Gerard had wounded Frank much deeper than he had originally thought.

Gerard hadn't meant to hurt Frank, even though it was obvious that he had, but still - he was the one who had been lied to, he was the one who could potentially get arrested if he did decide to give Frank another chance, so he felt entitled to taking a few days to work through the mess he had found himself in.

Once fifteen minutes had passed with still no response from Frank, Gerard threw his phone roughly, expelling some of his frustration when the device hit a nearby lamp, sending it toppling to the floor with a loud thump that somehow soothed his anger momentarily. The sound had apparently caught Mikey's attention though, because not thirty seconds later, he poked his head into Gerard's bedroom, sending him a quizzical look before his gaze fell to the fallen shade.

"So...I'm assuming your talk wasn't a good one?" Mikey asked warily, pushing the door open a little wider so he now had a clear view of Gerard who was currently curled up on top of his sheets dejectedly.

"He didn't pick up," Gerard scoffed coldly, transferring some of his fury onto Mikey, he had been the one to suggest this stupid endeavor in the first place after all.

"Gee...he's probably just caught up with something, and I'm sure he'll call you back as soon as he can."

"Whatever...I don't care," Gerard huffed, doing his best to ignore the tears pricking at the corner of his eyelids. "I'm going to bed anyway."

"Okay...I'm about to head over to Ray's in the next few minutes, but please phone me if you need anything."

"I will," Gerard responded wearily, flipping his body over so his back was facing Mikey until the sound of his retreating footsteps faded away entirely.

And even though Gerard knew he was acting ridiculous, and he had no right to be so upset over what was most likely nothing, applying logic to this situation wasn't making his heart ache any less, so Gerard resigned himself to another night spent sobbing into his pillow until exhaustion overtook him completely, which was all he seemed to be doing lately, and unless he and Frank reached some sort of understanding soon, he would probably continue to follow this routine for quite some time.

I am so shocked that I managed to finish this update tonight - I was only planning on starting it, but I got this burst of inspiration, and before I knew it I had 5k words typed out.

I am looking forward to the comments on this chapter, but don't hate Pete too much, no one can resist Frank.

Also, I just finished my first Ryden ever, which I am pretty sure I already promoted in a previous author's note a few chapters ago, but it is completed now. It is called that Golden Rule, so if any of you want to go check that out, it would make me very happy.

I was listening to Shoot Out at the University Fair by the 1975 the entire time I edited this, idk why I felt like saying that, but it is a great song, and I thought it deserved some credit.

Chapter dedicated to afycso-franta

((((I am getting bored of my vibes I really need a new sign off vibes))))

<3 starr