Frank practically sprinted into his first class of the day, his hurried steps inspired by his late awakening, courtesy of drinking entirely too much last night in an effort to stifle his sadness, which had been a complete and utter failure, only heightening his longing for Gerard to the point that Frank had to turn off his phone to prevent himself from calling the older man for the twentieth time, his earlier resolve to not bother him just yet had completed disintegrated once he had gotten a few shots in his bloodstream, leaving him with the world's worst hangover and very nearly a tardy slip as well.

Frank's English teacher sniffed sharply at his late entrance, but she let his misdemeanor slide for now, most likely because it was still the beginning of the school year, but whatever the reason, Frank was grateful for the lenience since there was no way he could make it through a detention in his current state.

Frank had heavily debated skipping school entirely after even the simple act of rolling out of bed had caused him to groan in pain, his temples protesting angrily at the sudden movement, but his mother was having one of her more lucid days, and she had taken it upon herself to rouse Frank just when he had been about to doze off on the carpet, throwing his oversized uniform in his direction and refusing to leave him be until Frank stood up and began to get dressed.

But now that he was here, with his teacher's annoyingly high pitched voice doing nothing to soothe his pounding headache, Frank truly regretted not trying harder to convince his mother that he was sick so he could have stayed home, because it was obvious that Frank was going to learn nothing today. He didn't even have Gerard's class to motivate his attendance, not that Frank was entirely sure if he wanted to sit through a repeat of the other afternoon, but still - Frank needed to see Gerard again, it felt like ages since he had last laid eyes on the older man, even though he had been in his presence less than a day ago.

It was probably for the best though, because Frank was nowhere near strong enough for yet another confrontation with Gerard, and really - he had nothing else to say to him that wouldn't be a repetition of his earlier pleas. Gerard held all of the power now, and no matter how badly Frank wanted to continue to interject himself into his life, he knew that the wise choice would be to give Gerard some space until he came to terms with Frank's true age, pestering him would only hurt Frank's chances of a reunion with the older man in the end.

Frank's resolve was quickly put to the test though, a glimpse of Gerard coming out of the staff room had Frank freezing in place, his heart beating erratically as he called upon all of the willpower he possessed, fighting the urge to chase after Gerard and do - well, Frank hadn't planned that far out, and knowing him, whatever action he did choose most likely wouldn't be appropriate for school grounds, so even though his stomach twisted with disappointment when Gerard disappeared into the crowd without a backward glance in Frank's direction, at least it prevented Frank from making a fool of himself in front of all the seniors currently clogging the hallway.

After that encounter, Frank shut down, he didn't have any other choice unless he wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon sobbing softly in the bathroom, and he had already become much too acquainted with those tiles yesterday, but somehow, he managed to make it through the rest of his classes without losing control of his tremulous emotions, even though he caught numerous sightings of Gerard throughout the day, each occurrence sending shooting spikes of pain flowing into Frank's bloodstream, but every time they happened, Gerard vanished before he could do anything more than gape after him in an embarrassing fashion.

Frank only managed to survive the seemingly endless passage of hours by stamping down on any and all Gerard related thoughts as soon as they popped into the forefront of his brain, engaging in a mental game of whack-a-mole featuring his teacher instead of an actual rodent, the accompanying image of a miniature Gerard dodging away from an oversized mallet had Frank suppressing a series of giggles caused by his current state of exhaustion.

When the final bell shrieked out loudly, intensifying the side effects of Frank's hangover that persistently refused to fade away, Frank truly meant to walk straight home, or maybe to Pete's place; he still hadn't informed his best friend about what had occurred between him and Gerard, mostly because actually voicing it aloud would only make everything that much more real, and Frank was already struggling enough as it was, but still - Frank didn't like keeping Pete in the dark, especially when he knew that Pete would most likely be able to comfort him, after chastising him for ever getting into a relationship with an older man in the first place of course.

But despite his best intentions to retreat to the safety of his room, either that or Pete's, Frank's feet seemed to have developed a mind of their own, and before he could comprehend what he was doing, he found himself skidding to a halt outside of Gerard's classroom, his eyes boring into the wood obstructing his vision in a desperate attempt to see if the teacher was inside. The window cut into it was covered with some sort of poster, preventing Frank from unearthing if anyone was occupying the space, but Frank wasn't going to allow himself to be deterred just yet.

And even though Frank should have taken the closed door as a sign that he shouldn't be doing this, that he needed to turn around now before he managed to humiliate himself in front of Gerard any more than he already had, Frank was knocking, his knuckles rapping loudly against the grain, his breath catching in his chest as he waited for some answering sound from inside the room, a scrape of a chair, a sigh - anything really, but after a minute had passed and no disruption reached his ear, Frank took matters into his own hand, twisting the knob roughly, only to be stopped short when it barely turned, signifying that the door was locked, and Frank's impromptu plan had failed completely, the following disappointment rendering Frank motionless, his body slumping against the wall tiredly, his muscles too weak to support him anymore.

Frank wasn't sure why he had been so convinced that Gerard would wait around after school had already been let out in the first place, it wasn't as if he had been expecting Frank to show up, hell - Frank didn't even know if he had a fourth period class on Tuesdays. He hadn't yet memorized Gerard's schedule after all, he had only discovered that he taught at this school yesterday, but that didn't stop Frank from wanting to break down in sobs again. No tears came though, his body had cried itself out last night, leaving him dehydrated and incapable of producing any more physical manifestations of his sorrow.

Once Frank realized that he was starting to get a few strange looks from the remaining students that hadn't immediately sprinted home, he pushed himself away from the wall stubbornly, turning his back on Gerard's classroom as he strode outside as fast as his shaky legs would carry him, his mind racing as his moved on autopilot, the lack of contact with Gerard taking its toll on Frank as he realized that he would most likely be faced with many more of these days in the very near future, and fuck - Frank didn't think he could do this, he wasn't strong enough anymore. Gerard had drained him of his false veneer that he had used to survive for so long, and without it, Frank was exposed and vulnerable, waiting for the slightest push before he tumbled to the ground, his essence one touch away from shattering into nothingness.

Frank walked for ages, the physical activity helping to soothe his aching head and wounded heart, his eyes not truly viewing his surroundings as he went, not until a familiar wooded area began to emerge around him, informing Frank that he was in close proximity to his and his father's secret place, his and Gerard's place, and even though the memories the small field contained should have had Frank shying away in fear, he found himself drawn in instead, his hands scraping against branches as he hurried toward the site of one of his happiest moments with Gerard.

All too soon, Frank reached the small meadow that held so much meaning to him, his chest heaving and his palms stinging as he paused at the edge of the natural clearing, gazing out over it in search of any signs of change, as if his recent downturn in his relationship with Gerard would have transformed this place as well, but it still appeared exactly the same as it always had, the afternoon sunlight dappling the long blades of grass with a welcoming glow, and Frank even swore he could see the body sized indents from where he and Gerard had lain together not too long ago.

Moving on autopilot, Frank dropped his heavy bag before heading further into the open space, the soft hum of wind rustling through the trees calming him as the soothing aura that always seemed to accompany this place washed over him. Frank's footsteps paused in front of the small patch of land where he and Gerard had spent the evening stargazing, his vision flickering slightly as a vivid image of their entwined bodies rose to the forefront of his mind, the accompanying rush of remembered feelings almost completely eradicating the pain that coated Frank like a second skin.

Heaving out a soft sigh, Frank allowed his tired muscles to give out, his frame coming to rest on the soft ground as he curled inward on himself, his fingers running over the tufts of grass slowly as he breathed deeply through his nose, enjoying the lack of agony shooting through his limbs for first time since he had seen Gerard standing at the front of the art classroom yesterday, even though that event seemed to have happened years ago in Frank's mind.

And although Frank was well aware that this bubble of contentment was only fleeting, and it would most likely pop as soon as he was forced to leave this meadow and face the real world once more, he didn't really care at the moment, because he felt safe here, protected even, like maybe if he stayed in this spot for a little while longer, he could begin to accumulate some of his strength back, bracing himself for whatever was going to come next for him and Gerard, so that was exactly what Frank did, his eyes falling shut as he basked in old memories, and if he pretended hard enough, he could almost feel Gerard's arms surrounding him, his comforting presence inundating the still air even though the older man was currently miles away.

~~~

Unfortunately for Gerard, he was not in as good a state as Frank, even though he was trying to fool himself into believing that he was, but despite the fact that he hadn't actually had a class with Frank today, he couldn't get his student out of his mind, and the numerous times he had spied him in the crowded hallways had done nothing to help with that.

The day was over now though, and Gerard had managed to teach his classes successfully, not allowing his worries about Frank to distract him until he had vacated the building, but now Gerard was struggling with the decision focusing around what to do with the rest of his afternoon, his heart tearing in numerous directions as he debated over what would cause him the least harm come morning.

The smart thing would most likely involve going straight home and avoiding everyone and everything, but there were so many temptations there; his fridge full of liquor, his stash of pills, his blades, and he didn't want to burden Mikey with the task of watching over him for the second night in a row, even though he would most likely need a guardian given the way he was feeling at the moment.

Gerard could also go to a bar, and even though he would probably end up getting completely drunk within hours, he would also be out in public, with other people surrounding him, preventing him from doing anything dangerous besides for destroying his liver with copious amounts of alcohol that is.

But really - what Gerard wanted more than anything was to see Frank, to hold him one more time, to pretend that the events of yesterday had never happened, to rewind time back to when Frank had made everything better instead of complicating his life to the point of madness, but those days where over now, and without Frank to turn to, Gerard was adrift and confused, wallowing in self-pity and the steadily overwhelming desire to take out his frustrations on his own skin.

Gerard couldn't allow himself to do that though, especially not after seeing Frank today without him knowing that he was being observed. Before this afternoon, Gerard had never thought of Frank as anything else other than a person; he was his boyfriend, not a minor, but the sight of him drowning in his school uniform, his book bag dragging his shoulders downward as he scurried to his next class had forced Gerard to admit that he couldn't fool himself into pretending that Frank's age wasn't a serious problem, and fuck - it had truly hit Gerard then, even though it should have sunk in yesterday, but it hadn't until just now.

Frank was a student - a child even, no matter how mature he appeared to Gerard, which made Gerard disgusting by association, because he was still attracted to Frank, his revelation concerning his age had done nothing to change that, and it was only now that Gerard was beginning to realize how seriously fucked up he was.

Gerard had made so many mistakes in his life, so many choices that he had ended up regretting later on, but this trumped all of them, even though he had yet to get caught, but still - he was technically a pedophile. Just thinking of the term which now applied to him caused Gerard's skin to crawl unpleasantly, his chest tightening up as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he was truly a monster in society's eyes.

But the worst thing was, Gerard didn't want to lose Frank, he still craved his touch, his kisses, everything, but how could he allow himself to continue with this knowing what he did? Frank deserved a boyfriend that was allowed to be seen with him in public, that could have sex with him without it being classified as rape, and Gerard couldn't be that person, not yet anyway.

Just then, Gerard's phone began chiming softly, breaking him free from his morose train of thought for the time being. He wasn't at all surprised when he saw Mikey's name flashing across the screen, his brother was most likely worried about him since Gerard's last class had let out almost an hour ago by this point, and even though Gerard would usually be irritated at Mikey's motherly tendencies, he appreciated the concern today. 

"Hey Mikes," Gerard picked up on the third ringing, starting the car while he spoke so he could flip on the air conditioner. The interior of the vehicle had become borderline uncomfortable while he was lost inside of his mind, and he had only just now noticed the way his shirt was sticking to his back with sweat.

"Where are you?" Mikey asked in response, a hint of worry tinting his tone with shades of blue, leaving Gerard feeling guilty for putting that fear into his brother's voice.

"I'm still at school, I'm going to head home now though," Gerard answered quickly, doing his best to appear as lighthearted as possible so Mikey wouldn't immediately assume that he was lying about his location. 

"Okay - good, and I just wanted to warn you that Ray is here, and Bert is on his way over. We haven't all hung out in a while, so I thought it would be nice to get everyone together for the afternoon," Mikey informed Gerard, ignoring the soft sigh that escaped Gerard's lips when he discovered that they had company.

"This better not be some sort of intervention or anything like that," Gerard scoffed, not putting it past his brother to gather their friends together in a misguided attempt at cheering Gerard up somehow.

"It's not - I swear, I just think it would be good for you to spend some time with someone that isn't Frank or I for a little bit."

Gerard couldn't exactly argue with him there, because it had been more than a month since he had last seen Ray, and he hadn't met up with Bert since their quick stint at the coffee shop over a week ago. That was mostly caused by Frank's sudden appearance in his life, so maybe it would be nice to catch up with them over a few beers instead of drinking himself senseless at the nearest bar, and their presence would hopefully keep his darker urges at bay for the time being.

"Fine, I'm leaving now, and you better make sure they don't eat us out of house and home before I get there," Gerard threatened playfully, all thoughts of Frank forgotten for the moment as he ended the call with Mikey and began the short drive back to his apartment, a smile tugging at his lips at the prospect of seeing his friends once he arrived.

~~~

Much to his surprise, Gerard found that he was actually enjoying the extra bodies inundating life into his typically dismal home, the chatter and clinking of bottles distracting him from the mess in his head as he reclined back on the couch, grabbing a nearby bag of chips with his free hand that wasn't clutching a beer in it.

They had spent the past few hours catching up, avoiding the dangerous topics involving Frank, as well as the band, even Bert knew not to tread in that territory although he hadn't been a part of that experience. Instead, they had kept the conversation light, but the alcohol was quickly loosening their tongues, and Gerard could tell by the look on Mikey's face that his brother was struggling to hold back from asking Gerard questions he would rather not be faced with right now.

Trying to diffuse the growing tension that he could feel in the room when their voices died down briefly, Gerard switched on the television, idly flipping through the channels in the hopes of finding something interesting to watch, but luck wasn't on his side, and he ended up settling on Jeopardy, which seemed to instantly catch Bert's attention if the way he threw himself down onto the cushion next to Gerard meant anything that is.

"I fucking love this show," Bert exclaimed excitedly, "but it always makes me feel stupid since I can never guess half of the answers."

"I'm lucky if I end up get a third correct," Gerard chuckled, scooting slightly closer to Bert when Mikey and Ray returned from the kitchen with fresh beers for everyone, squeezing themselves into the remaining space even though the couch was not meant to hold that many bodies comfortably.

They wasted another thirty minutes attempting to play along with the game, laughing at each other's shouted out suggestions which progressively got more ridiculous as time went on. Gerard couldn't remember the last occasion when he had done something like this, and he realized that he had missed this sort of companionship, but it wasn't in him to seek it out anymore, he had become too accustomed to his reclusive lifestyle once the band had fallen apart, and he knew that no matter how refreshing this rare bout of companionship was, he would make no effort to plan another of these evenings without quite a bit of prodding from Mikey.

But the peace didn't last, of course it didn't, not that Gerard had really expected it to, but he still cringed slightly when Mikey snatched the remote out of his lap as soon as the show ended, flicking off the television before turning to Gerard with a serious look sharpening the angles of his thin face.

"So Gerard," Mikey began slowly, his words drawing out in Gerard's ears as if time was moving at half its normal speed, "not that this hasn't been lovely, but I actually brought everyone over so we can talk about the whole Frank situation." Gerard scoffed harshly, his spine tensing up at the mere mention of Frank's name, taking a large sip from his beer in an attempt to hide his negative reaction before allowing himself to speak.

"I knew you had an ulterior motive to all of this," Gerard grumbled sullenly, crossing his arms over his chest as he shot Mikey a pointed stare, elbowing Bert harshly in the process, "and I don't want to discuss it."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I'm really worried about you Gee - we all are. It's obvious that this is messing you up, and we just want to help you," Mikey pleaded, his eyes flickering back in Ray's direction briefly as if searching for backup, which only infuriated Gerard more since he hadn't been aware that Ray knew anything about his relationship with Frank, but he should have expected Mikey to spill personal details of his life to his fuck buddy, still - that didn't make him any less angry about it.

"I don't see how you can do that," Gerard seethed, "our relationship is illegal, and you three can't change that fact any more than I can."

"You do have a point there, but if you put it in perspective, it isn't like you killed someone or anything horrible like that, and even though I haven't met Frank, I have heard a lot about him from Mikey, and he doesn't sound like someone you just toss aside," Ray spoke up, leaning around Mikey's shoulder so he could look directly at Gerard while he made his point.

Gerard's hands clenched into fists as Ray's words sunk in, because he wanted to believe them, hell - he had been trying to rationalize his actions with similar reassurances for the past twenty-four hours, and it wasn't as if he had known that Frank was underage when he had decided to pursue him, he hadn't willingly gotten together with a minor, but that didn't pardon him for the fact that he still desired Frank so badly that he ached, that was a sin that Gerard couldn't wash himself clean from, no matter how hard he tried.

"It's still wrong - it still makes me a monster," Gerard choked out, fighting against the sudden rush of tears that were completely eradicating his previously fury, leaving him feeling weak and drained under the caring stares of his supposed friends and family. 

"That isn't true Gee," Bert cut in, his arm wrapping around Gerard gently in what was supposed to be a comforting manner, but it only made Gerard feel worse, because he didn't deserve this sort of affection from anyone. He wasn't in the right here, no matter what how hard everyone was trying to twist the situation in his favor.

"But it is, I - I know how old he is and I still want to be with him, that means I am a pedophile," Gerard argued vehemently, his head shaking back and forth as he tried to pull out of Bert's hold weakly.

"Gee - shut up for two seconds and look at me," Mikey commanded, his stern tone startling Gerard enough that he ceased his struggles for the time being, giving Mikey his full attention. "When you first met Frank, why were you initially attracted to him?"

"I - um..." Gerard stammered slightly, caught off guard by the unexpected question. "Well - to start off with, he is gorgeous, but it wasn't just that. He seemed...interested in me I guess, he hung off my every word, he made me feel important, but it is everything about him really. It's like he understands me, or he did, and he never once judged me, or pried into something I didn't want to talk about - he is perfect basically." Gerard snapped his jaw shut quickly after his admission, because talking about Frank in this way only exacerbated the constricting sensation surrounding his heart, and he didn't want to remember the good times right now, not when he wasn't allowed to add to those memories because of a few stupid years separating the two of them.

"Okay good," Mikey nodded, cutting Gerard off just when he was opening his mouth to ask what that had to do with anything, "and do you know what a pedophile would have answered that with? They would have said it was because he was young, because being with a student excites them, that they get off on the illegal nature of the relationship, not any of what you just stated, so don't you fucking call yourself that okay? You didn't know how young Frank was, and you aren't drawn to Frank because of his age, or because you like little boys, so please don't make me slap you," Mikey huffed stubbornly, his eyes flashing with suppressed anger that had Gerard shrinking back against Bert slightly in order to avoid his younger brother's wrath.

"I just - I want to believe what you are saying, but it doesn't change anything. I can't do this to Frank, or to myself. I care about him - I do, but this could ruin the both of us, and I refuse to do that to him..." Gerard stood his ground firmly, because no matter how hard Mikey attempted to change his mind, he couldn't budge on this, no matter how badly he wanted to throw caution to the wind and tell Frank that they could continue on with their illegal relationship.

"Well we have been talking about this, and yes - we do agree that you shouldn't pursue anything with Frank while he is seventeen, but his birthday is in a few months, so if you can just hold on for a little while longer, you guys can be together," Bert murmured in a soothing tone of voice that he always used when Gerard became agitated, and much to Gerard's chagrin, he was actually calming down, but he wasn't going to let them break his newfound resolve that easily.

"But I will still be his teacher, not to mention that Frank probably won't want me anymore by that point," Gerard protested feebly, having already decided that he would be more than willing to wait for Frank, but he knew that people Frank's age flitted from one person to the next like a bee within a field of flowers, and it would be delusional to assume that Frank wouldn't find someone better in the span of a few weeks, no matter what pretty promises he gave to Gerard.

Still - Gerard couldn't help but remember the way Frank had looked yesterday when he had found him in his apartment: his devastated expression, his tear stained face, his barely concealed sobs, his stammered apologies, his pleading for Gerard not to forget about him. Gerard's mind had been doing its best to convince him that it had all been an act, that Frank hadn't been entirely sincere, because no one could truly desire him that badly, it just didn't make sense, especially not someone like Frank.

But what if he did - what if Frank would be willingly to do whatever it took to keep Gerard in his life, even if they couldn't maintain a normal relationship for the time being. Gerard had been purposely vague when Frank had questioned him on what he wanted now that he knew Frank was seventeen, but it was only just beginning to sink in that he had left Frank with no definite answer. He hadn't truly broken up with him, but he hadn't straight out said that he still desired to be with Frank either, mostly because he himself was torn in half between doing the right thing or being selfish and keeping Frank all to himself.

"That's why you need to talk to him about this, you know - actually discuss with Frank what you want and your plans for the future before you jump to conclusions. You have to remember that Frank is hurting too, and he is probably dying to hear from you, so we think you should call him and explain what is going on in your head at the very least," Mikey continued trying to reason with him, his voice pulling Gerard out of his tumbled thoughts and back into the present.

"I told him that I still cared about him when he was here yesterday," Gerard informed Mikey, because in that at least he had been perfectly clear, but now that he was mulling back over their short encounter, he couldn't deny that Mikey was right in this particular instance.

Gerard had planned on simply ignoring Frank until he could sort out the tangled mess of conflicting emotions that only seemed to writhe away from his prying hands whenever he attempted to smooth them out, but that wasn't fair to him, especially not after Frank had gathered the courage to apologize, to show up at Gerard's place in a desperate bid to rectify the damage that he had caused with his lie, and Gerard had simply sent him away with a kiss and some half assed reassurances. He did intend to speak with him again eventually, if Frank wanted to that is, but right now, everything was still too fresh, and Gerard couldn't trust himself to be in close proximity with the younger man on the off chance that he would end up doing something that he would regret.

"Yeah, and then you have avoided him since right?" Mikey arched one eyebrow knowingly, his persistence quickly wearing Gerard's arguments down with his infallible logic.

"Not avoided - just kept my distance," Gerard pouted sullenly, "and it has only been two days Mikey."

"Gee - if you want this to work, you will have to keep in contact with him, at least a little bit. Talking to him isn't illegal, and I think it will make this easier on the both of you," Mikey spoke vehemently, earning himself short agreeing statements from both Bert and Ray for his sentiment.

"I want to," Gerard sniffled softly, "but it's so hard to be around him right now," Gerard whimpered under his breath, just the thought of being face to face with Frank again producing a sudden outpouring of longing that rushed throughout his entire body with the force of a tidal wave.

"I understand, and I am not trying to pressure you into anything, so if you want to break things off entirely, that is up to you, but I don't think that is the best idea, so maybe give Frank a call soon?" Mikey ended his tirade, his voice dropping into a soothing murmur at the finale of his sentence, and as much as Gerard wanted to continue being obstinate, he couldn't deny that Mikey was making a hell of a lot of sense, and it wasn't as if Gerard didn't want to contact Frank again, he was just scared.

"Yeah...I will, thank you Mikey, this actually helped a bit," Gerard finally gave in, because at the very least, Frank deserved something from Gerard, and although he wasn't sure if he could see him in person just yet, he needed to phone him up and at least ask how he was doing.

Gerard sometimes got so lost in his own mind that he neglected to recall that Frank struggled just as much as he did, and although Gerard didn't know the exact cause of his emotional distress, he knew that Frank was very similar to him in that aspect. Frank needed someone to be there for him, to support him, to hold him when he was on the verge of breaking apart, and Gerard had been that person for the past month or so, he had been the one Frank turned to when he was in search of any form of comfort, but now Gerard had basically abandoned him after a traumatic event, and the guilt from that was almost worse than everything else Gerard had experienced over the past few days combined.

"Anytime Gee," Mikey smiled broadly, his expression mirrored by Ray and Bert as the rigidity in the atmosphere bled away slowly.

"Well now that we have gotten that settled, anyone want to watch a movie?" Ray broke the silence with his suggestion, heading over to the DVD case as soon as he received a nod of affirmation from Mikey.

As Bert and Ray began bickering over what title they wanted to view, Gerard took the opportunity to mull over Mikey's advice for a second time, sending his brother a small smile in the way of a silent thank you that Mikey accepted with a similar expression pulling at the corner of his lips.

Gerard might not enjoy when Mikey did things like this that involved dragging his friends together in an attempt to make Gerard see sense, but even under the intense scrutiny that his mind had put their entire conversation through, he had to admit that Mikey had a point. He was always the first to label himself harshly, but maybe this time he could recover as long as he didn't sleep with Frank again until he was eighteen.

And honestly - no matter how good the sex was with Frank, that wasn't the only reason Gerard craved him in his life. Frank just had a way of making everything better, of quieting the voices in Gerard's head, of allowing Gerard to believe that he was safe for a short time, of injecting joy into the most minute of situations - that was what Gerard needed right now, and maybe Frank did too.

Gerard was going to call him, he had already had enough trouble resisting that particular urge anyway, and hopefully Frank would be happy to hear from him. Gerard wanted to make this work, he really did, so if he could stop himself from ripping his intentions apart and casting doubt on every one of his decisions, he was truly starting to believe that he and Frank might actually have a chance at some form of friendship at the very least, which was much better than nothing.

And after Frank was eighteen, it wasn't impossible to think that they could pick up where they had left off, but none of that would happen if Gerard didn't speak with Frank soon, so he swore that as soon as his friends left, he would reach out to the younger man so he could apologize for the way he had been behaving over the past few days, and then they would see how things went from there.

I don't even know what to say to make up for the long wait on this chapter besides for I'm sorry, but like I mentioned before, this is the hard part of this story for me to write since I didn't have it planned out, so I struggled a lot with this update.

But hey - better late than never right, and even though this chapter went in a totally different direction than I meant it to, at least it wasn't as heartbreaking as the last few.

Updates will probably continue to be slow for a little bit, but I will try my best not to have them be a month apart like this one.

Also, I just started a new Matty/George fic called Only You which might interest fans of The 1975. I am very happy with it so far, so maybe go give it a read if you get the chance?

Btw - thank you guys for the 50k reads on the books, it really means so much to me that people are keeping up with this even though I have been slacking on writing for it lately.

Chapter dedicated to Sinfulkilljoy

((((updating vibes))))

<3 starr