"Where are you taking me Gerard?" Frank huffed, the irritation lacing his voice almost completely faked, because Frank would let Gerard drag him into Hell without any protest, but Gerard's secretive nature had him slightly on edge, and Frank's hatred of surprises was causing him to fidget nervously in his seat as Gerard drove them away from the more populated area of town.

Frank wasn't opposed to being whisked away by Gerard with no idea of his destination, this just wasn't typical Gerard behavior, not that anything Gerard did could ever be considered typical by normal standards, but this random car ride was definitely a first; usually they spent their time in Gerard's apartment, and even if Gerard was taking him out to eat, or something like that, he was heading in the wrong direction, leaving the civilized area of Belleville behind in favor of the suburbs. There wasn't much to do out there that Frank knew of, and he didn't understand why Gerard was so adamant on keeping wherever they were going a secret.

"Be patient, we are almost there now," Gerard assured Frank, a coy smile plastered across his lips as he glanced at Frank out of the corner of his eye before turning his attention back to the road unfolding in front of him, the headlights cutting a swath of light across the otherwise shadowy street.

Frank sighed heavily, crossing his arms to keep up his frustrated appearance, even though inside he was a mess of excitement and nerves, because Frank may detest being left in the dark, but Gerard's excitement was rubbing off on him, and just being in Gerard's presence was enough to put Frank in a good mood, especially since it had been a couple of days since he had last seen him thanks to Frank's job needing him to work more hours before school started, not to mention Gerard had seemed busier than usual lately; Frank wasn't sure if he was working as well, or even what he did for a living for that matter.

Frank had been trying to give Gerard some space tonight, refusing to reach out to him unless Gerard did first, because they had been spending an inordinate amount of time together lately - minus the past few days, and the nagging fear that Gerard would quickly tire of Frank had been unusually strong this evening, causing him to deviate from his usual pattern of heading to Gerard's after work, turning his footsteps to the bar instead.

Frank hadn't been planning on going for a hookup, he had no interest in anyone else, hell - he hadn't even fooled around with Pete lately. Gerard was all he could ever want and more, so for the first time in ages, Frank went to the pub to simply drink, and also to catch up with Brendon and Ryan, because even if they weren't technically his friends, he had missed them, and they had apparently missed him as well if the smiles that graced their faces when Frank walked in the door were any indication.

Brendon instantly ducked around the bar, pulling Frank into a friendly hug, which Frank accepted with a slight chuckle, fending off Ryan's questions about his health, because apparently Ryan's theory for his sudden disappearance had been a deadly illness - the man always had a flair for the dramatics, not that Brendon's hypothesis was much better, he assumed that Mikey had kidnapped him and kept him as a sex slave, which had Frank choking on his drink as he laughed uproariously.

But after a few minutes, Frank managed to reassure them that he was just fine, better than ever actually, which of course caught their attention, because Frank was very rarely happy when he came into their establishment, but there was a first time for everything, and Frank found himself recounting all the events that had happened to him since the last time he had seen the two men, from taking Mikey home to his budding relationship with Gerard.

Brendon was ecstatic to hear that Frank had finally found someone, and he demanded that Frank spill every detail about him, from his looks to how he treated Frank, and the entire time Frank was talking, a wide grin split his face, the corners of his lips actually aching toward the end of his spiel, his muscles unused to holding that expression for long periods of time.

Brendon and Ryan listened attentively the entire way through, Ryan even squealing at some points during Frank's explanation, which caused Brendon to shoot him a loving look, his arm snaking around his boyfriend absentmindedly, and for once, there was no accompanying pang of jealously in Frank's heart at their affectionate actions, now it only brought up memories of Gerard, and even if he and Frank weren't in a relationship like Brendon and Ryan, Frank hoped they would be someday soon, his heart beating faster in his chest as he imagined himself being as happy with Gerard as Brendon was with Ryan sometime in the near future.

And as if Gerard could sense when Frank was thinking of him, Frank's phone went off just then, and he saw a new text from Gerard, asking him where he was and if he had any plans for the evening, which Frank replied to with his location, his blood thrumming in his veins when Gerard immediately responded, saying he was on his way to pick Frank up.

Frank decided to wait for Gerard outside, polishing off his drink and saying his goodbyes to Brendon and Ryan, because even though he would love for them to meet Gerard, he knew that Brendon and Ryan would keep him here for ages once they had him in their clutches, as well as potentially embarrass Frank in the process, so Frank decided to avoid that situation entirely, leaving it for later on when he was more comfortable with whatever he and Gerard had, and he wouldn't have to be worried about his friends scaring Gerard off with information that he didn't need to know just yet, not that Brendon and Ryan would expose Frank's secrets without his permission, but better safe than sorry, especially where Gerard was involved.

Gerard hadn't explained where he was taking Frank, simply saying that it was a special place, and really, Frank just wanted to know, because his mind had bounced between every possibility imaginable, from a moonlight picnic to a strip club, and Gerard was still refusing to tell him, but they had been driving for quite some time now, so hopefully Frank would find out in the next few minutes.

Gerard stopped the car suddenly, cutting off the engine with a turn of the keys, leaving Frank to wonder where the fuck they were, because as far as he could tell, they had pulled off on the edge of a deserted side street, and there was nothing around here for miles besides a small patch of wilderness.

"Come on Frankie, it's not much farther," Gerard nudged Frank lightly with his leg when Frank didn't move, opening his door slowly as he waited for Frank to do the same.

Frank shook his head groggily, his muscles tensing up at the unexpected use of that hated nickname; Gerard had never called him anything besides for Frank before, and of course, he had no idea about Frank's aversion for that particularly term, but as much as Frank wanted to snap at him, or at least make it perfectly clear that he did not enjoy being referred to as "Frankie", it didn't hurt as much as when his mother did it, and Frank found himself biting him tongue as he exited the car.

He wasn't sure why he didn't say anything, and he highly doubted Gerard would be upset, but in a way, Frank almost liked the way the word had sounded falling from Gerard lips, the affectionate lilt he had given to it, and just the fact that Gerard had used an endearment on him at all was a positive sign, a sign that maybe Gerard was feeling more emotions toward him instead of just lust, and maybe for once, being called Frankie wasn't a bad thing.

And perhaps his initial unpleasant reaction had just been instinctive, his mind was trained to instantly flinch away from the word that usually caused him so much pain, but maybe it would be okay to have Gerard use that rare nickname, at least for now. If it continued to bother him, Frank would ask Gerard to stop later on, but Frank had a feeling it wouldn't, because this was Gerard after all, and he could probably refer to Frank as a piece of shit and it wouldn't phase him in the slightest, even though that mindset couldn't be healthy, but Frank really didn't give a fuck.

Gerard laced his hand through Frank's as he began leading him deeper into the forest, choosing the path with the least amount of obstacles so Frank wasn't in danger of tripping and falling, which was a very real possibility due to the fact that his eyes continued to be drawn back to Gerard's face instead of the ground under his feet, but he just couldn't help himself.

The moon was bathing everything in a silvery glow, casting Gerard's pale face in an ethereal light, magnifying his already beautiful features to such a point that Frank almost had to look away, because surely no mortal could gaze upon something as perfect as Gerard for too long without suffering some sort of consequences.

Frank actually chuckled to himself at the ridiculous route his thoughts had taken, but that was just what Gerard did to him, he scrambled his brain in the best way possible, and even if Frank sounded like a poor excuse for a poet when he tried to describe Gerard in his mind, no one else had to know, and Gerard truly deserved to have sonnets written about him, if not an entire novel, at least in Frank's biased opinion.

"What's so funny?" Gerard questioned, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to catch of glimpse of Frank's face without stopping their forward motion.

"Nothing - I'm just happy," Frank smiled, leaning into Gerard's side slightly as they descended down a small dip in the forest floor.

"Good - I really hope you like this place, it's very special to me, and it's nothing much, just a place, but I wanted to bring you here because you are special to me too," Gerard whispered softly, his voice blending in with the wind flowing through the trees, making Frank have to press himself even closer to Gerard's side so he could catch the end of his sentence, not that he minded at all.

"I - I'm sure I'll love it," Frank stammered out, the fact that Gerard had called him special causing his heart to pick up to a dangerous pace, his palms sweaty slightly as they continued to stumble through the overgrown brush.

"I don't even like nature that much, but this place is worth the walk, I promise."

Frank hummed in response, his voice failing him for the time being, so he simply enjoyed the feeling of Gerard's hand in his as they continued to make their way deeper into the forest, and even though a part of Frank recognized this path, and if he was actually paying attention, he might have realized where they were going, he was too wrapped up in Gerard to notice his surroundings, so he was completely caught off guard when Gerard came to a sudden stop on the edge of a natural clearing.

All of the pleasant feelings Frank had been previously experiencing flew out of his head when their current location soaked into his Gerard clouded brain, because his wasn't just any spot, this was Frank's spot - his and his father's that is, and Frank hadn't set foot here since his father had disappeared from his life, he couldn't, because he wasn't strong enough to face the memories that lingered here, the happy moments that were now only a thing of the past.

But now they were all tumbling back, all of the afternoons Frank had spent here with his father, learning about nature, trying to catch the few fish that somehow ended up in the small pond on the edge of the clearing, simply doing nothing at all; this had been their secret spot, the place they only went with each other, and being in this meadow was akin to staring at a picture of his father, because he resided in every blade of grass, his presence emitting off the trees as if he had never left.

Coming back here hurt - fuck - it hurt more than Frank had ever imagined it would, because these were the things that he did his best to lock away, burying these thoughts deep in his mind so they no longer had the power to hurt him, but now they were springing free all at once, the lock on the small cage Frank had put them in hanging broken and useless, all because of Gerard.

And for one moment, Frank felt an intense rush of anger at Gerard, not only for bringing him back to this place that he never wanted to see again, but for simply knowing about it, because this place was supposed to be a secret, a spot that only Frank and his father knew about; Gerard shouldn't be aware of its existence at all, and his knowledge of it made the place seemed tainted, ruined even.

And really, Frank knew he couldn't claim this place, because it wasn't as if it was on his private property, it was just a beautiful clearing in the woods, and anyone who traveled in this area could find it easily, but Frank wasn't thinking rationally, and it was taking all of his mental concentration not to bolt then and there, so he didn't have any brain cells left to try and reason with himself.

"Frank?" Gerard's voice cut through Frank's internal panic, and even though Frank thought he was furious at the man, the caring nature of his tone had Frank reaching out to him blindly, his eyes squeezed shut as he grasped Gerard's shirt in a desperate attempt to bring him closer, because this entire situation may have been Gerard's fault, but Frank still wanted his comfort - hell - he needed it, or else he was liable to fall apart at any moment.

"I - I -" Frank tried to speak, but his throat was clogged up with suppressed sobs he wasn't even aware he had been holding back, his body shaking slightly as he tried to deal with the unexpected rush of memories he had hoped to never face again.

"Hey - shh, it's okay, I've got you," Gerard whispered soothingly, stroking Frank's hair in a calming manner. "Can you tell me what's wrong?" Gerard asked nervously, and Frank realized that this was the first time Gerard had ever tried to understand the reasoning behind Frank's strange bouts of sorrow, and Frank wasn't sure if that touched him or worried him, but he couldn't blame Gerard for being curious, because Frank's behavior was worrisome at best, absolutely insane at worst.

"Just...um, how did you find this place?" Frank asked, hoping that if he got Gerard talking, he would be given enough time to compose himself, and maybe then he could avoid explaining his strange reaction to what should be just a random meadow.

"Well the first time I came here I was fourteen, I had run away from home for the day, and I just had to get away. I used to live over that way," Gerard gestured somewhere, but Frank's didn't move his head to follow the direction his finger was pointing in, "and I got myself lost in the forest. I wandered around for ages before I ended up here, and for some reason, I instantly felt at peace as soon as I entered this clearing. It was just so beautiful, so secluded; I stayed here for hours, crying my eyes out over whatever had upset me. It became my escape when things got too much for me to handle, I swear I spent half of my teenage years here," Gerard chuckled nervously, his hand faltering slightly, his fingers tangling in Frank's dark locks.

Frank swallowed heavily, his eyes drying up as what Gerard told him began to sink in, because this was the first time he had ever heard Gerard speak about his past, and even if it was just a vague summary of his younger days, it was still something, and not only that, Gerard had brought Frank here, to a place that meant so much to him. Frank's earlier anger melted away completely, instead, he felt touched, because Gerard was opening up to him, Gerard was trying to bring them closer together, and that had to mean something - right?

"I used to come here too, a few years ago...with my dad," Frank choked out, the words burning his tongue as he admitted them, but his chest felt significantly lighter once he had gotten them out, even if it was only one small sentence, it was something.

"Oh - oh Frank...I didn't know, I'm so sorry, do you want to leave?" Gerard stammered out, his eyes widening in an almost comical manner, and Frank could tell that he had misread the situation, not that his assumption wasn't completely understandable, especially with how Frank was acting, but Frank knew he had to correct Gerard before he lost his nerve entirely.

"No...I'm okay - and he's not dead or anything, just gone, and I haven't been back here since, but maybe this is a good thing, maybe I can make new memories with you," Frank's statement ended as more of a question than anything else, but he needed Gerard to assure him right now, because he was scared, vulnerable, and alone as he opened up to someone for the first time in ages.

"I haven't brought anyone here either...not even Mikey," Gerard spoke up after a few moments of silence, his hand falling from Frank's hair to graze his cheek gently.

"Really - why not?" Frank asked curiously, his head tilting toward the side as he watched Gerard worry his lower lip in-between his teeth.

"Because, this was always my place to get away, to hide from the world, but I never want to hide from you, I want you to hide with me, and I could tell you needed a safe haven too, I just had no idea you had already found it first."

With Gerard's words ringing in his ears, Frank stepped back from Gerard's hold slightly, letting his eyes dance over the clearing that had once been so familiar to him, and even with all the time that had passed, he still recalled every detail almost perfectly.

Forcing away the memories of his father, Frank made himself truly look at this place, taking in the dip in the ground which was the perfect spot to curl up in the soft grass, watching the moonlight dance across the surface of the small pond, the water running low because of the lack of rain lately, taking in the summer flowers that dotted the area haphazardly, and finally, turning slightly so that Gerard was in the picture, adding him to the scenery in his mind, and Frank couldn't deny that he seemed to fit here, even though Frank had never imagined anyone except his father standing by his side in this spot, but this felt right somehow, and maybe, just maybe, Gerard could help Frank make this meadow something else besides for a painful memory, something better.

"I want to make this our place."

~~~

Frank found himself curled up on the ground, his head resting on Gerard's chest as he gazed up at the few stars that were visibly in the dark sky while Gerard tried his best to name them all, apparently he was very interested in astronomy, which was another new fact that Frank had learned about Gerard tonight, and he had never felt closer to anyone then he did right now, with Gerard's arm wrapped around his small frame and their hands still clasped tightly together.

"What's your favorite color?" Gerard asked randomly, and Frank had to suppress a quiet giggle, because only Gerard could jump from one topic to another so quickly and think it was totally normal, but that was just one of things Frank adored about him.

"Hmm...it's hard to pick, but honestly, I think it's gold. I love the sheen of it, the way it can be tarnished and hidden, but still beautiful underneath, but I especially love when I see it in nature, like...certain flowers, or when the sun is setting and everything is covered with a golden glow," Frank answered truthfully, his eyes falling shut as Gerard began massaging his hair once again, and fuck - Frank could really get used to more nights like this.

"I didn't expect you to like gold for some reason, but it fits now that I think about it," Gerard murmured softly, and Frank could hear more than see the smile on his face.

"What about you?" Frank turned Gerard's question around, still slightly confused about why Gerard had asked, but he had learned over the past few weeks that it was pointless to try to find a reasoning behind everything Gerard did, even though Frank knew he did have one, it just escaped Frank's grasp ninety-nine percent of the time.

"It changes constantly, but ironically enough, it's silver at the moment," Gerard spoke up after a few moments. "I love the way it is so pure and cold, but not as harsh as white, and it isn't a color you see very day, even though it's not entirely rare either, also it's reflective, and when it shows another color in it, it's so beautiful, but that is sort of cheating since I'm adding another shade - so yeah, silver."

"Silver and gold," Frank chuckled softly, finding their favorite colors an accurate representation of themselves, two people of the same molds, slightly different shades, but still similar, who also seemed better when displayed side by side instead of separately, or even better, woven together.

And Frank knew he was getting ahead of himself again, but this night with Gerard made his musing of a future together seem slightly less ludicrous, because fuck buddies didn't do this, they didn't cuddle underneath the stars and discuss their favorite colors, but that was exactly what he and Gerard were doing, so maybe Frank wasn't so crazy to think there was more between him and Gerard than just sex.

Gerard had loosened his hold on Frank's hand, and Frank found his fingers clutching onto Gerard's wrist, rubbing lightly across the swath of exposed skin without any conscious thought, and it was only when Gerard flinched violently, pulling his arm away in a jerky motion that Frank realized what he had done.

"Oh god, I'm sorry - I didn't mean to," Frank whispered hoarsely, because he had been tracing Gerard's scars by accident, and that was one topic they had both steadfastly avoided, even though Frank had finally noticed them about two weeks into knowing Gerard, and once he had, he felt like an idiot for not catching on sooner, because it explained a large majority of Gerard's odd behavior, but he respected Gerard's privacy, and he had done everything he could to avoid drawing attention to them, until tonight that is.

"Don't apologize, it's okay...have - you have seen them, haven't you?" Gerard exhaled heavily, his muscles tensing up as he braced himself for Frank's response.

"Yes, and it's okay - well, actually it's not okay, and I hate the fact that you had to experience that pain, but I will never judge you for hurting, and it doesn't change my opinion of you at all, you are still p- flawless in my eyes," Frank stumbled at the end of his statement, because he had been about to say perfect, but he didn't want to add another of Gerard's triggers to an already delicate situation, so thank fuck he had caught himself before that word had passed his lips.

"Really...you aren't just lying to make me feel better?" Gerard asked nervously, and for one second, Gerard seemed younger than Frank, his shifting eyes and shaking hands making Frank want to protect him from anyone who had any intentions of hurting him, he yearned to shelter Gerard away from the cruel world that had caused him so much internal pain.

Frank's heart physically ached as he pictured Gerard taking a blade to his skin; he couldn't even imagine what had been going through his head when those wounds had been inflicted, because even though Frank had experienced some pretty horrendous lows, he had never been tempted to turn to self-harm, and he didn't want to know what events had transpired that made Gerard feel that something so terrible was his only option, but hopefully that was now in the past.

"Of course not, and I understand in a way, but I don't want you to think you have to turn to that any more, I'm here now, and if you ever feel like doing that again, you can tell me - if you want, and I promise I will always be there for you."

Frank swore he would follow through on his word, even though he had no experience with someone in this situation, because no one deserved to feel that awful, that helpless, especially not Gerard, and Frank was determined to do everything in his power to make sure Gerard never felt that urge again, if Gerard let him that is.

"I haven't done it in almost two months, it wasn't helping as much as it used to, but still - that means a lot to me Frank, a hell of a lot..." Gerard trailed off, his hand returning to its previous position, his fingers linked with Frank's tightly as his breathing slowed and his body relaxed underneath Frank's.

"I want to be there for you, I want to make you happy," Frank admitted shyly, a rosy blush painting his cheeks, hidden by the comforting darkness they were currently blanketed in.

Gerard didn't respond with words, instead, he sat up slightly, tilting Frank's chin higher with two of his fingers so he could press a soft kiss to his waiting lips, and even though it was a simple peck, Frank found his eyes fluttering shut in pure bliss, the sheer amount of emotions behind the small gesture would have brought him to his knees if he hadn't already been lying down.

He could feel Gerard's nervousness at their previous topic of conversation in the slightly trembling of his lips, but more than that was what he couldn't feel; there was no lust in the kiss, just intense affection, and maybe even trust, if that was possible to sense through a touch of the lips, but whatever it was, Frank couldn't get enough of it, and he had to suppress a groan when Gerard pulled away suddenly.

"Thank you for staying with me, this is really nice - having you here." Gerard once again changed the subject abruptly, ended his sentence with a soft kiss to the crown of Frank's head, and fuck - Frank melted against him, the simple touch breaking down so many barrier that Frank had almost forgotten he had put up in the first place.

"I'm glad I stayed too, but I'm curious, why did you decide to bring me out here - I'm happy that you did, don't get me wrong, but it just seems like a huge thing to trust someone with, especially someone you haven't known very long." Frank hadn't even considered telling Gerard about this place, but even though they shared the same sanctuary, Gerard associated with it differently than Frank did, and even though Frank was slightly terrified about the answer he was about to receive, he had to know why Gerard had broken his solitary place with Frank's presence, especially so soon.

"Well - I was talking to my friend about you, and he made me realize how much I care for you, not that I wasn't aware of that already, but he made me think about this thing we have, and I'm not very good at being open, or describing my feelings, but fuck - I really like you Frank, and bringing you here cemented that, and I - I want you to be mine, my boyfriend, if that's okay?"

Frank had to blink numerous times to make sure that he was in fact awake, and he hadn't just dreamed up Gerard saying the words he was so desperate to hear, but when Gerard didn't blur or fade away, Frank came to the conclusion that this was real, and that Gerard wanted Frank in the same way he wanted him, and fuck - this was everything he had been hoping for and more, all of his secret desires and wishes summarized together in one question that had fallen from Gerard's lips like a drop of water gifted to a man dying of thirst.

Frank inhaled deeply, trying to understand the heady feeling that was rushing through his veins, and after some consideration, Frank decided it was joy - unbridled jubilation in such large amounts that Frank would have overdosed on it if such a thing was possible, but thank fuck it wasn't, because Frank would be extremely disappointed if he were to die right now, just when his life was turning around, now that he had something to live for in the form of Gerard.

Frank could have sat there all night in silence, revealing in the intense sensations he was experiencing, but Gerard was peering up at him with those gorgeous eyes, unclouded by alcohol or any other substance for once, and Frank could read his terror in the hazel irises, he could physically feel the anticipation as he waited for Frank to speak, and it was only then that Frank realized he had yet to give Gerard a proper answer.

"I - yes - fuck yes," Frank stuttered out, pulling Gerard's face closer to his so he could shut himself up with a kiss before he embarrassed himself, a kiss that meant more to Frank than any other, because he wasn't just kissing Gerard this time, he was kissing his boyfriend, and that was best feeling in the entire fucking world.

So this is a week late, but it was super cute, so that makes up for it right?

I have nothing to say, besides for I love you guys - holy fuck 17k+ reads, I'm still in shock over how well this story is doing, so please keep all of those votes and comments coming, they really mean the world to me.

This chapter is dedicated to violetmoreviolence because they are super fucking rad, and they have a really good fic called The Headmaster Ritual which you guys should totally check out if you haven't already - actually, all of their fics are amazing, but I just really love porn and that fic is mostly porn lol.

((((super loving vibes))))

<3 starr