"There is only one kind of happiness in this life, to love and to be loved."

Ryan Allen

"So Justin, the fucker, thought it was funny to start a tickle fight and then he had that big smirk of his on that face. Oh man.. He actually looks so gorgeous Ryan.." I heard some of these words fading away into the background.

My mind had been wandering around that boy Jack that I met recently. Those big blue eyes of his that took me to their soft blue skies towards cloud nine, never stopped haunting me as I saw him with that wide smile, that somehow had the power to stop the time and making our surroundings move into slow motion.

That's how much I loved his smile.

It wasn't until I met him that I saw every single star shining around us; feeling extremely excited to see him and looking forward to being in his safe presence. I barely knew him yet time didn't exist whenever I was with him. He really had something around him that made me trust him, letting me realize that there are so many more colors into this life.

I couldn't stop thinking about him nor his looks and god knows why.

Jack literally had this golden hair, the blonde and brown colors were mixed into each other and formed such a soft honey glow, it's something small that I noticed these past days. I wanted to rake my hands through them so badly and have him close around me to enjoy his warmth; that warmth that fulfilled everything inside of me. Nobody else in this world gave me tingles in the way he did.

And I wanted to know why, I needed to know why and for some reason I wanted more.

So much more.

"Ryan..? Are you even listening?" My best friend Matthew asked me then, snapping me out of my never ending thoughts.

"Huh? Oh yeah yeah! I am!" I answered fast.

"No you aren't listening, I'm your best friend silly. Tell me what has been bothering you, what's wrong?" He asked, looking with those big caring gray eyes while he grabbed my hand to comfort me.

At times like this I realize how lucky I was to have him as my best friend.

That's why I didn't want to hurt him just like everyone else did.

"There's just this boy.. I thought I started to like him, as friends of course, but he isn't the right guy for me which makes me feel bad" I told him without any details.

From all the people in this world Jack had to be Matthew's ex best friend. The boy who ditched him in his darkest times, who was a fake friend to him and who was apparently also homophobic.

Shit..

Maybe it was good to stay away from him and that's exactly what I did from last night on. I didn't know how to act towards him so I let him to drop me off at home. Jack luckily seemed to understand, but that sad puppy face was still plastered in my brains which made me feel more guilty than ever.

And still the entire night I barely slept, because his special oceanic eyes followed me. My body was practically begging me for his warmth as I felt this emptiness without that boy.

It was driving me crazy!

"Oh wait! A boy? Who is he? Do I know him?" He looked with curious eyes as he gasped soft, sitting closer to me and attacking me with any question possible.

"No you don't know him Matt! It's done okay? Nothing will happen between him and I. And we can't even be friends.." I answered, slightly panicking.

He can't know.

Ever.

"Don't lose hope Ry! I'm not stupid, I see it in your eyes, they instantly spark once you talk about him, I can see that he may be more than just a friend to you. I may not know who he is, but I never thought I was gay and Justin bisexual! We don't know what will happen, but let faith do their work. If it's meant to be then it will be, okay?" He told me, looking deep into my eyes, seeming to care so much about me.

Man I loved this precious angel. He was too good for this world. It's such a shame that he never saw it.

A smile spread across my lips as I attacked the amazing boy in a hug. "Oh thank you! Thank you!" I giggled loud, throwing my arms around his neck as I hugged him as close as I could. "I don't need that boy okay? Don't worry so much about me, it's over. But I still have you! I'm so happy to have you by my side! You're literally the best best friend ever, did you know that?!" I told him, snuggling close to him.

"Everything for you Ry" He laughed soft and seemed genuinely happy for once.

That's what he deserved. Not the shit that his bipolar disorder was giving him.

How could I ever break someone as genuine as that? I couldn't hang out with Jack, he wasn't the right guy for me. I will find someone else some day, I'll let faith do it's work, just like Matty said.

Unfortunately the bell rang in that moment so I grabbed my stuff together and greeted Matthew, since we both didn't have the same classes.

A relieve of stress rolled away from my shoulders as I walked towards my class. Having this talk with Matthew really helped me and I really was happy to have him.

I didn't need Jack.

"Ryan! Wait up!" I heard a familiar low voice yell through the hallways.

Speak of the devil.

"What is it Jack?" I asked when he stood in front of me, showing me his beauty.

"Oh man you look so pretty.. I mean not pretty as in the pretty that people say in relationships and stuff! I mean not that you aren't pretty enough to date, you sooo are, but- OH MY GOD AND I AM DOING IT AGAIN!" He rambled and looked all nervous.

"It's okay! It's sweet Jack, thank you" I laughed soft, smiling widely at him.

"What I was about to say.. I don't know why you suddenly started acting so weird after yesterday.. but I still wanna be your friend. Can I at least have your number?" He looked at me with his big lost blue eyes, fumbling nervously with his hands as he watched me like that.

Honestly I did enjoy hanging out, it gave me feelings which I never knew I had. Maybe I should let faith do their work.

And he's looking so damn sweet right now..

"How can I say no to those eyes?" I smiled then and gave him my number then. "Text me some time"

Sorry Matty..

"Oh I will! Thanks!" He smiled, looking like a kid who just got their candy.

He is so soft and sweet?!

"Good.. See you soon then!" I laughed soft, walking towards my class before I was too late.

"WHOEHOE!!! YEAAAAH!" I suddenly heard him cheering at the end of the hall, as I laughed loud at Jack's dorky behavior.

Maybe we could at least become friends after all.