I've had hallucinations before, but nothing was as profound or tangible as my dad's face in front of me at this precise moment. His hands on my cheeks felt so real before they went around me in an embrace.

Savoring the warmth and familiar scent of him, I closed my eyes and held tight. Any moment now I would wake up from a dream or whatever drug I'd taken would wear out soon.

When I heard his soft laugh, my heart wilted. He was gone and it was so cruel for my brain to conjure him this way.

"No, you're not hallucinating, Len," he chuckled. I must have said my thoughts out loud. He held my shoulders and gently pulled me away, wiping the tears on my cheeks. "I am very much alive. I've missed you, love."

"D-Dad? Is it... really... you?"

He nodded, smiling at me as he rose then helped me up to my feet.

"But... how? How are you alive?"

"I'm afraid time is my enemy, princess. My presence is a danger for you. Mr. Hawke—Jasper," he corrected, "will explain everything once I'm gone. You can trust him."

Once I'm gone.

I was shaking my head frantically, holding onto him like a child. "I can't lose you again, Dad. Please, don't—"

"Listen to me, Len. Listen," he repeated earnestly. "I have done a lot of... bad things. Terrible things. I am a coward because I'll be gone before you learn of what I've done."

He lowered his eyes, sighing deeply before he raised them again to mine. "I am deeply sorry to you and your brother for putting both of you in this position. I hope that someday you will find a way to forgive me in your heart."

"Dad, what have you done?"

He shook his head. "After this day ends, you and Liam are free from the monarchy. Listen to Jasper and follow his instructions. You'll be safe with him. Do it for me." His eyes softened as he held my face in his hands. "Be good." He kissed my forehead. "Be strong, my princess."

"Dad, I—"

"I have to speak with Mr. Hawke now. In private."

I nodded stiffly, stepped out of the cabin and closed the door behind me. Sliding limply against it, I fell into a heap on the ground. I felt wrung dry, but the squeezing pain in my chest wouldn't subside. Leaning my head against the door, I closed my eyes and refused to think.

"Deliver her safely to the villa tomorrow. After that your mission is done. You're free to go."

Tears poured down my face as I heard my dad's voice behind the door. So I wasn't just losing my dad. I was losing Jasper too.

I pushed up from the ground as anger filled my veins. I wanted to hit both of them, hurt them until they felt the pain that was eating me inside out. Suddenly I was running, running as fast as I could until my lungs felt too tight and I couldn't keep going anymore. Still I pushed. When my foot tangled around a vine, I let out a cry and tumbled on the ground.

And wept.

*

The crunch of dry leaves under heavy boots awakened me, but I stayed where I was, refusing to open my eyes.

"Princess."

Jasper. His tone, so quiet and somber, awakened the pain in my heart.

"He's gone, isn't he?"

It was a moment before he responded. "Yes."

My heart dropped in my stomach. "He's a coward. He couldn't even say goodbye."

He remained silent.

I opened my eyes and found him crouched beside me. Rising to my feet, I looked down at him accusingly. "You knew all along."

Carefully, he got up. His jaw was set, his hands turned into fists.

"You knew. All those days when you've seen me suffer and mourn for my dad... I almost killed myself," I choked. "You never said a word."

"I couldn't."

"Couldn't or wouldn't? You'd rather see me suffer than disobey your orders."

"You and your family were being watched closely by these men. If you didn't mourn the way you did, they will become suspicious. I did it for your own safety."

I slapped him. His face jerked to the side, cheek red where my hand hit him.

"I hate you," I spat at him.

"Hate me all you want," he said, blue fire in his eyes as they bored into mine. "I wouldn't have done any differently if it meant keeping you safe."

"Safe? Is that why I was shot? Because I was under your protection?"

He recoiled from me, pain lancing his eyes. It was a low blow. I knew that wasn't his fault, but I didn't care. I wanted to hurt him badly.

"No come back for that one?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "Jasper? Oh, that's not correct. It's Caleb Hawke, isn't it?"

When he still didn't respond, I turned my back on him.

"Let's go back to the cabin," he said quietly. "I'll tell you everything you need to know."

*

"Don't spare me the details. I want to know everything. Everything," I demanded as soon as we stepped inside the cabin.

He didn't speak instead turned to the kitchen to make tea. I'd be damned before I beg him to give me the information I was desperate to know.

"Sit down," he said after a moment, placing a cup of tea on the counter.

I glared at him. "You're done giving me orders."

"Please," he added softly.

"Please?" I crossed my arms in front of me. "I wasn't aware you're acquainted with that word."

"I am. Now sit down. We both know you're burning to know what I'm about to tell you. Sit down or you won't get anything from me," he threatened.

"Damn you."

"I was damned the moment I saw you, Len," he whispered. His eyes so blue, so intense. "I wouldn't change that for the world."

He said it so softly, so achingly that it cracked the ice I wrapped around my heart. I gritted my teeth. I would not give in so easily and forgive him. He waited for me to sit down before he spoke.

"The King was a member of a group of very powerful, very dangerous men. These men dabbled in everything illegal –drugs, prostitution, human trafficking. You name it."

I stared at him in horror. "You're saying my dad... that my dad..."

He nodded grimly. "Yes. He was part of it all. He said his conscience got the best of him and he decided to leave the group. But they refused and threatened him. Once you get in, it's impossible to get out."

"I don't believe you. My dad will never—"

"Believe what you will, Princess. I'm giving you the facts. That's when your dad hired me."

"Why would he hire you? Who are you?"

"I told you my real name, but I don't go by that anymore. I was a soldier—black ops. Highly trained in combat." His face turned dark, his eyes looking distant as if memories were playing in his mind. And they weren't good ones.

"I left that life a long time ago. I've dealt with this group before that's why your dad hired me. Why do you think your dad suddenly wanted to abolish the monarchy?"

He leaned against the fridge, his blue eyes watching my face.

"If the monarchy ends, your dad will lose his title and all the important connections that go with it. And this group will do anything to stop that because they need the advantages and connections that go with your dad's title. The night before the king was to sign the referendum, we learned that this group hired a very, very dangerous man—an assassin who had never failed a target before— and kill your dad to stop him."

"And so you faked the king's death."

He nodded. "It was one of my men who pretended to be the king and walked the streets that night. He was the same build as your dad. He's very good and easily emulated your dad's walk, his mannerisms, everything. The assassin was convinced it was your dad he killed, but the truth was that he never killed anyone that night."

It made sense now how they never allowed us in the hospital after my dad was shot, how in his funeral it was a closed casket.

"But if they killed my dad then they lose the connections anyway. It doesn't make sense that they'd want to kill him."

He looked at me with sympathy. "Liam."

"What about Liam?"

"If King Simon dies, Liam becomes king. And they will get to him. They will threaten everything he loves to make him their puppet. The cycle will never stop. The only way to stop this is to abolish the monarchy."

"If they need Liam, then why did they try to assassinate him that day at the party?"

"The group found out that your brother was going to continue what your dad had started. Liam's a threat to them. And without Liam, Cyrus will be king. And you know Cyrus will do anything to be king."

He pushed away from the fridge, raking his hands in his hair in frustration before walking beside the window. He looked outside, his eyes moving alertly before he faced me again.

"There were only a few people who knew that Liam was going to abolish the monarchy. There's a spy in the palace. And after you were shot, I knew I had to get you away from there to protect you."

"What about my brother? My mum? Where are they?"

"They're being protected. Your dad insisted to keep some of his own security, but I didn't want to risk it. I let all of them go and handpicked the men protecting your brother and your mum. They're very good at their job. I wouldn't worry. Liam had already taken his oath weeks ago. And today, he signs the papers. Tomorrow there will no longer be a monarchy."

I frowned, shaking my head. "Liam can sign it all he wants but the final decision will still be in the hands of the people."

"Before your dad died—disappeared," he corrected. "He made sure that once Liam signs the papers, no one can stop the end of the monarchy. You have to remember your dad was a powerful king. He still has very influential people supporting him and they will do everything to grant his wishes. All you need to do now is to wait."

"You want me to believe that after Liam signs the papers, this group will stop and let me and my family live in peace?"

He lowered his head, his body tensing. And I knew whatever he was going to tell me was going to destroy my world. His eyes, filled with sympathy, lifted to mine. "You and your family will be given a new identity. You'd have to leave England tomorrow and you can never come back. I'm sorry, Princess. You won't be able to see your family again."

"No," I choked, tears filling my throat. I slapped my hands on the counter and pushed away from it, upending the chair. "No."

"Len."

"Get away from me!"

"I'm so sorry. You have to understand it's very dangerous if you make contact with them. If they found out where any of you are, they'll send men to kill all of you. Don't doubt this."

I shook my head, refusing to believe what he was telling me.

"I'll make it safe for you," he vowed. "You won't live a life looking behind your back forever. I promise you this. I'll protect you."

But he was already too late. The beginning of the end had already started.

*

It was barely dawn by the time we left the cabin. I hadn't slept a wink. Had it just really been yesterday that Jasper and I were happy? I felt hollow now, numb. And I was grateful for that.

The atmosphere inside the car was tense. I glanced at Jasper and noted the rigidity of his arms as he controlled the wheel. His beautiful face was devoid of emotion, his blue eyes blank as he stared straight ahead.

I turned away from him, closing my eyes at the ache that suddenly bloomed in my chest. Exhausted, I gave in to sleep.

"Princess, wake up. We're here."

I opened my eyes and blinked at the darkness surrounding us. He had been driving for hours.

"Where's here?"

"You don't need to know that, Len," he said softly.

My eyes met his and my heart ached at the look in his eyes. It was the look of goodbye. An overwhelming emotion flooded me and suddenly I didn't want to leave.

I didn't want him to leave.

"Jasper," I said. My voice was barely a whisper but he heard me. He stopped from opening his door and turned.

He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. His eyes spoke for him.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" I asked. Tears threatened to fall and I wiped them away impatiently. "You said you'd protect me. Was it all a lie?"

His jaw hardened. "No, it wasn't a lie."

"I heard what my dad told you. He said after today, you're mission is done. Be a man and tell me you're leaving me and that you're never coming back. Don't make me wait for you." My voice broke and damning tears started to pour down my face. "Don't make me wait for nothing. Don't make me believe in a lie. Don't."

"Len..."

Suddenly he was pulling me to him, kissing me as he maneuvered my body so that I sat on his lap. His lips were hungry, almost desperate.

But it felt like goodbye.

It felt like goodbye.

It felt like f ucking goodbye.

When he pulled away, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Let me make you another promise," he murmured, his breath warm on my lips.

"Don't give them to me if you're just going to break them."

He smiled, but it was sad. "A better man would ask you not to wait for him. He would tell you to move on with your life." He opened his eyes and the blue of them, so deep, so intense drowned me. "But I'm not a better man, Len. I'm a selfish son of a bitch because I want you to wait. Wait for me. I don't know if I'll be able to come back but... wait for me."

"Where are you going?"

"Do you think if I had the power to make you happy that I won't do it? I will do everything in my power to make you feel safe again. For you to see your family again."

I looked at him in horror as realization flooded me.

"No... this is a suicide mission. You're going after those men. After all the things you told me, how powerful and dangerous they are... no."

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. "I haven't told you my promise yet. Would you like to hear it?"

I didn't answer him. Why would I? There was nothing I could do or say that would stop him from leaving. He'd made up his mind.

"I promise the next time we see each other, I will never leave your side again."

"What's the point? I won't see you again."

He held my face in his hands, wiping my tears with his thumbs.

"I would die for you, Eleanor."

"I don't want you to die for me! That's not what I want! I want you to live for me. I want you with me."

"Shh. It's okay. It's okay, Len."

He held me in his arms for a long time, stroking my hair, my back, my arms. I had lost track of time, but I didn't care. He was leaving and if this was our last night together, I'd keep him here as long as I could.

"Tell me something about you. About Caleb Hawke."

He took a deep breath as if bracing himself for a battle. His body tensed against mine, his hands stopped stroking. I was expecting him to change the subject when he started to speak softly.

"I was an army brat, an only child. My dad was a marine," he started. There was a quietness and huskiness in his tone that told me he was replaying old memories in his head. "He'd always take us camping whenever he was home. When I was ten, he took us up in the mountains. To a remote area to camp. Three days later, I found my mom dead outside our tent. My dad was gone. I never found him. Never found out who killed my mom.

"They told me it was a few weeks before they found me in the mountains. I survived because my father had trained me how.

"I grew up in the system after that. In foster homes, but I always ran away. I hadn't given up looking for my dad. I joined the military and I found a family in them. But it was too much. The things I've seen... The more I knew about the world, the more I hated it. So I left.

"I had been in the dark for so long, Len. I didn't know anything else. But then I found you. And now I know what's on the other side. And I don't want to let it go."

"Then don't," I said, holding onto him, willing him to stay. I could hear the desperation in my voice. "Don't go."

I love you.

"Be safe, Len. Promise me."

I love you.

"Promise me, Len."

I love you.

"I promise."

If this is love, it f ucking hurts.

*

I shouldn't be here. In this cabin. In this country. It was dangerous, risky. But I hadn't been sleeping well lately, and dreams of... him visited me every night.

I should be happy. After all I had a new identity. I had friends, my own house, even my own business back in Canada where I live now. I had even forgiven my dad for what he had done, made peace with the fact that I would never see my mum or my brother again. I should be happy. Really. But I wasn't.

I was miserable because in all the five years since he had left me, I never forgot him.

And in all those five years, I had never heard from him.

Bastard.

The cabin was still there. Full of the cobwebs of our old memories.

There was a time, a long, long time ago, we christened every surface of this cabin and I remembered thinking that he would always remember me every time he visited here.

I cursed that day now as I stepped inside it.

I was the one remembering him now, torturing myself from the memories of that day and all the days before and after that I had spent with him.

What am I doing here?

He wasn't here. The place felt empty, forgotten.

Like I was after he left.

But somehow it felt like... home.

Slowly, I walked to the kitchen. My eyes tearing as I spotted the pots and pans on the floor. They had clattered there after I threw the bowl of soup at him. He had ducked and I missed him and the bowl hit the pans instead. They fell on the floor noisily along with a chocolate bar he had hidden in one of them. And then...

I shook my head, erasing the memories.

What am I doing here?

Pulling my coat tighter around me, I stepped outside, closing the door behind me. I'd take a walk, clear my thoughts and head out. I would never come back in this place again.

It still hurt like a fresh wound. Time didn't ease the pain of losing him that day. Would I feel this pain forever? If this was my destiny, I refused to accept it.

The sun was hiding behind heavy clouds and the wind was picking up, but it was still pleasant. I closed my eyes as I let it play along my skin, my hair as I continued my stroll. My steps faltered as I spotted something on the ground.

Slowly and with my heart knocking loudly against my ribs, I walked to it. My breath caught in my throat as I realized what it was. My knees gave out and I fell on the ground, tears filling my eyes.

It was a Snickers chocolate bar.

When I heard the sound of leaves crunching under heavy boots behind me, I froze. And turning, my throat closed up as I drank him in with my gaze.

"Jasper," I whispered.

Finally.

He held out his hand, smiling at me tenderly. "Len."

I jumped up and ran to him, laughing and crying at the same time when I heard his grunt as I collided with him and wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips.

"You bloody bastard," I sobbed, soaking his face with my tears as I rained him with kisses. "You arsehole. You idiot."

He held my face between his hands, grinning at me.

"I love you, Len."

There was a shift inside my heart, like a piece of it settling, finding its place finally after a long time of being lost. "Tell me you're back for good. Tell me you'll never leave me again."

"Never again. I kept my promise to you and I'll never break it."

I grinned back at him. "Then I love you, too."

I bit my lip as he carefully lowered me on the ground, covered my body with his before he whispered, "Where's the chocolate bar?"

I laughed and kissed him until the moon hung in the dark sky and the stars winked out.

*

EPILOGUE

"How long do you think we have before the twins wake up?" Jasper murmured in my ear.

My eyes were still closed but I smiled. When I felt his fingers on my thigh, I trembled.

"Is my wife still sleeping?" His deep voice sent a delicious shiver up my spine. So did his fingers as they lazily moved up my thigh. His lips, warm and soft, lightly kissed the sensitive part of my neck. "Can you tell her to wake up because I need her. Really, really need her right now."

I bit my lip to keep from moaning as his fingers continued to rub, as his lips continued to tease.

"Jasper..." I gasped as his hand—

"Mooom!"

"Daaad!"

"It's snowing!"

"No, it's not! It's drizzling. Grandma said there's a difference."

"Grandma needs to check the dictionary. Uncle Liam says it's still snow because there's snowflakes and everything."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's—"

"Mooom! Daaad!"

The door slammed open and happy squeals of laughter filled the room as the twins jumped in our bed.

"Pancakes, Dad! Make us some pancakes!"

"I want Olaf's face this time, Dad. Pretty please, pretty, pretty please with lotsa cherries on top?"

"No, I want Princess Anna 'cos she's so pretty and mom was a princess in her old life before in the big, big palace and dad is her prince charming and her bodyguard and now they live happily ever after!"

I turned to see Jasper's too-blue eyes watching me, a secret soft smile on his lips.

"I love you, Princess," his lips formed the words silently.

"I love you, too, bodyguard," I whispered back.

END.

I hope you enjoyed reading this short fanfic! Please don't forget to vote and comment. Thank you for reading! Love, Isabelle