DIARY ENTRY 013
-jeongguk.

I knew something was wrong that day, she was very quiet.
Too quiet.

I'd felt that quietness before when I first met her.

"I'm going, Jeongguk."

"Going?"

All my thoughts were at a full stop, it rattled me to to the core.

"Going where?" My hands were trembling.

"Back.." She bit her lip, I knew she was on the verge of tears, trying to hold back like me.

"Back home?" I asked, choking through my tears.

I never knew what rainbows and home felt like until I met her. And suddenly, every memory we shared together passed before my eyes, my hands were begging to wrap itself around her knees and were begging for the same way to ask her not to go.

She quaintly nodded her head, I hugged her, and we kissed, our oceans getting mixed together.

Her lips tasted like leaves of chamomile, of home.

I'll never ever forget that, I'll remember that forever.

I didn't want her to go.

I don't want her to go.

But it didn't mean that just because I had found my home, I didn't want her to go to her own.

I had found my home, and sooner or later, I knew she too had to return back to hers.

-

I don't think I can go on and live like this anymore.

It's almost dawn right now, the Moon's so close to Earth, the stars are larger than usual. Did you know that I'm going to dissipate when the sun rises? Dissipate into the air like an evanescent light. I'm going to disappear forever.

Today's your birthday, Eve.You'll be turning 17, and I'm still 19. I'll never forget you, Eve. I'm so tired and dying, so tired that it drills my bones.

I'll never forget about Jimin, Hoseok and Jin who tried to help me. I shut myself out because I knew that without Eve, everything had no meaning to it. There's no purpose in living anymore. Every single thing that resides in my vision reminds me of her, the memories haunt me.

And I know, that somewhere in the world, there are children with birthdates same like hers, patiently waiting for their presents, staying up the whole night, excited to be woken up by their parents.

But I also know that somewhere in this world, there are also people with birthdates as same as hers, who're hugging their knees close to their chest, and eyes welled up with tears, without love.

Her void fills me up, the void she left with me when she left.
The morning is beginning to brighten.

My fingers are starting to burn now, and you know why.
A 6 second countdown will do it, I'm going to disappear soon.

6, my legs disappear first, and you know why.

5, then my torso, and you know why.

4, the light has reached up to my chest. I'll remember everyone of you, I'll never forget you all.

3, it suffocates my neck. My eyes are fixed on the moon.

2, my face feels like a thousand knives has been stabbed onto it, the pain lasts for a few seconds, then disappears.

1, my lips disappear, my nose disappears.

I'm dying.

0, my eyes latch onto the star, the brightest star ; my eyes are starting to burn, the irises are peeling off.

Here Comes the Sun, Eve. Can you see it too?

the end.