Updating 'cause it's my birthday this week. :)

(◕▾◕✿)

1858, February

Soul Society was a charming place. The architectural development had come to a screeching halt in terms of innovation and creativity after hitting the Edo period. Old farts liked how things looked and refused to authorize any drastic change. Some nobles acted like deranged Homeowners Associations on steroids; pretty annoying most days.

It meant that Soul Society was frozen in a mesh of Edo period styled buildings. It was lovely to occasionally admire.

Such as at that moment.

Although, it was harder to appreciate mere buildings when I had such gorgeous company.

Yoruichi carried me in her arms bridal style as she hopped rooftop to rooftop.

"What are we looking for again?" she asked me.

"Our future apprentice."

"Right." Yoruichi pursed her lips together in thought. She followed up with, "Apprentice in what?"

"Beauty," I said. "As we are obviously the prettiest Shinigami."

Yoruichi guffawed, her golden eyes sparkling in delight. "That's a high standard."

"Trust me. She'll reach it." I paused. "Not that I don't love being held by you, but why are you carrying me again?"

"Because you're tiny and adorable," she said.

"Both of these are true, but I am always tiny and adorable," I said amicably.

Yoruichi's lips twitched. "All right. I have an adorable new lieutenant who cannot take a joke."

"Ah. Let me guess. She is tiny and adorable, but you can't hold her?"

"Spot on."

"You are welcome to use me as a substitute cuddle buddy any time," I assured her.

She beamed. "I know. This is why you're my favorite captain."

"Oooo. You love me more than Kisuke?" I squealed. "Can I rub it in his face?"

"Yes."

"Woo-hoo! Best day ever!" I nuzzled into Yoruichi's cheek, eliciting a giggle from her.

(◕▾◕✿)

"There she is," I whispered. We had been searching for so long that Yoruichi wanted to be carried around instead. I transformed into a proper adult body so she could be comfortable as I held her.

Yoruichi glanced at where I was staring.

Rangiku was small and weak.

The Rukon District was nicer than canon, but it was still a poverty district. Those who lived in it tended to be more feeble. Rangiku was no exception.

Rangiku was a frail-looking girl with wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, a beauty mark under the right side of her mouth. She wore a tattered yukata that day as she sat alone under a tree. Her gaze was mournful as she stared down at the grass.

'Already?' I wondered.

She and Gin were childhood friends who loved each other dearly. During Sōsuke's research for the hōgyoku, he had extracted reiatsu from civilians. Rangiku was one of those civilians. She was left nearly dead after the incident, which spurred Gin to entering the academy and becoming a Shinigami. He wanted to avenge her, and keep her safe at all costs.

He didn't explain any of that to Rangiku, however, because he was afraid she'd follow after him and get even more hurt.

Canonically, it took her years to realize where had even gone.

Given how unstable her reiatsu felt, and how utterly heartbroken she looked, I could only conclude we had found her after the fact.

'Which means Gin will be entering the academy... probably this April.'

I landed in front of her, letting Yoruichi down.

Yoruichi peered at the young Rangiku. "Huh. She is a cutie."

Rangiku startled, her eyes widening. "Wh—Who are you?"

"We're your new teachers," I said with a big smile. "Wanna come with us?"

"I..." Rangiku lowered her eyes, downcast. "I'm waiting for someone to return home."

Poor baby, I thought.

"Then leave a note," dismissed Yoruichi.

"I don't even know who you are," Rangiku whispered, shifting her weight anxiously.

"Oops," I said. "We forgot to introduce ourselves."

"Man, are we dumb," laughed Yoruichi.

I bowed to Rangiku. "Hi. I'm Rirī, Captain of Squad 5."

Rangiku let out a small eep. "C-Captain? As in a Shinigami?!"

"And I'm Yoruichi, Captain of Squad 2," added Yoruichi.

Rangiku paled. "I—I—"

"Great, no more objections," said Yoruichi. "Uh... so she staying with you or me?"

"I was thinking we called in our favor with Isshin," I said. "We did sponsor him after all."

"He's a good boy. He said he always wanted a baby sister."

"There's our answer."

"Um—" Rangiku tried to cut in, but then I picked her up and she let out another squeal.

"Let the kidnapping commence," I said with great cheer, and because Yoruichi was Best Waifu™ she threw in her evil laugh.

"Oh no," Rangiku whispered in fear, tears in her eyes.

(◕▾◕✿)

Later that week

"Anyway, so after Yoruichi and I kidnapped the girl—"

"You didn't actually kidnap her, did you?" Genryūsai tiredly asked.

We were enjoying our weekly tea together. No matter how busy things got, I always stopped by his office to enjoy tea time and chat.

"I did," I admitted.

Genryūsai sighed. "I hope you didn't create a mess for me to clean up."

"No, no. The Shiba clan accepted her no problem," I said hurriedly. "Isshin was very happy to adopt a little sister, and after she calmed down, she said she was okay with Yoruichi and I teaching her."

"Mn."

"Stop giving me that look."

"What look?"

"You look like I'm about to set off a bomb in your bathroom or something," I accused.

Genryūsai lied, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I am not that bad!"

"Bad? No. Chaotic? Yes."

I reached over and pinched his cheek. "You brat!"

"Ow, Teacher! I'm Head Captain. You should treat me with respect," he complained.

"Treat your butt with my foot up in it," I threatened.

"HA! I'd like to see you try—"

"That's it, we're training the rest of the day. Someone's gotta teach you some manners, boy."

"Old hag."

I broke his nose for that one. "Old SOUL! Not Old HAG! Damn it, get it RIGHT."

(◕▾◕✿)

1859, March

"So-So say hi to our son," I said breezily, guiding Gin into our main office where Sōsuke was working on paperwork with Jūshirō—Jūshirō preferred reviewing his paperwork at my office because I always had snacks and tea prepared. Not that I would ever complain. I loved my students like children and always welcomed their visit.

I was right about Gin enrolling into the academy last April. I made sure to visit the academy semi-frequently with Sōsuke at my heels so Gin could see exactly which squad he ought to transfer into upon graduation.

It came as no surprise that he accepted my offer to join as soon as he passed his final exam.

Sōsuke didn't bat an eye or even look up from what he was reading. "Hello, son."

"Goodness, you've already adapted to her insanity," Jūshirō mirthfully commented.

Sōsuke blinked then sharply looked up. "Wait, what? Son?"

I patted Gin's head. "Yes. Isn't he adorable?"

"Beyond reproach," Sōsuke deadpanned. "Captain, as much as I admire and respect you—"

"Say no more. You're not ready to be a dad, yet, I understand," I said kindly. "Gin, I'm sorry. But you'll just have to accept me as both your mother and father."

"Yes, Captain Rirī," Gin obediently said.

"Good boy. Say hi to your big brother, Jūshirō."

Gin politely bowed. "Hi."

"Hello, little brother," Jūshirō chuckled.

"We'll be hosting a feast for our little Ginny tonight," I said. "Ju, would you mind inviting the usual gang?"

"Sure," Jūshirō said. "Ah, Gin's around Byakuya's age, isn't he?"

"Mn, I guess so. I did see little Byakuya at the academy still when I went to pick up Gin." I placed a hand atop Gin's head, gently patting the boy. "Do you know him, Gin?"

Gin politely shook his head. "We've never been introduced. I was focused on my studies."

"What a good boy," I praised him, bending over to sweetly kiss the top of his head. "Do you know what you like to eat?"

"I'm not a picky eater, Captain Rirī."

"Excellent. So-So, why don't you take Ginny under your wings and show him the ropes while I get started on the feast?"

"As you wish, Captain."

(◕▾◕✿)

1859, June

Yoruichi carried me like a sack of potatoes over her shoulder. Not that I minded since it gave me a great view of her toned booty and I always loved being carried.

"Welcome back, Lady Yoruichi," enthusiastically greeted a cute young woman. Suì-Fēng if I remembered correctly. The young woman was as fond of Yoruichi as I was. Sadly, Suì-Fēng was too upright to indulge in Yoruichi's trolling nature.

She was like Sōsuke in that sense. The two of them were constantly dragging Yoruichi and I back to our desks to complete paperwork. Why, they even worked together on a couple of occasions to hunt us down! What a fearsome tag-team of buzzkills.

Suì-Fēng flinched when she saw me, then immediately glared. "You!"

"Me," I said with a big smile.

"You dragged her into trouble again, didn't you?" she demanded.

"Yes," I lied. In truth, Yoruichi was dragging me into trouble by making me take credit for her pranks on the nobles in exchanging for training Rangiku together.

Yoruichi snickered. "Relax, Suì-Fēng. Rirī's fun."

"Yeah, I'm fun," I agreed, patting Yoruichi's bum since it was literally in my face. Suì-Fēng's face turned bright red in anger.

"Not in front of the children," Yoruichi sung teasingly.

"Does that mean we can do it in private—"

The front door to Yoruichi's barracks opened up as Sōsuke stepped in.

"Captain," greeted Sōsuke with that charming fake smile of his.

"Noooo," I cried. "I did all of my paperwork! You can't take me back so soon."

"And yet," he said as he promptly yanked me off Yoruichi's shoulders. He tossed me over his own shoulders and curtly nodded to Suì-Fēng and Yoruichi.

Yoruichi giggled at my pouting face. "I'll kidnap you later."

"Please do."

"Please don't," said Suì-Fēng and Sōsuke.

"Miss you already, kitten," I cried out as Sōsuke and I left.

Yoruichi mockingly called out, "I'll wait for you!"

I sighed as Suì-Fēng happily shut the door behind us. "So-So, I love you."

"If that is the case, please stop disappearing," he retorted.

"Aww. I had a good reason this time! Yoruichi and I have taken a little birdie under our wings," I said. "We've been training her."

"Oh? And who might that be?" he asked.

I shifted my form into that of a small pink cat. Sōsuke did not hesitate in his stride, simply re-adjusting his grip on me to carry me. I purred in his arms, resting my chin on his shoulder. "Her name is Rangiku."

"I'll be sure to avoid her to the best of my ability."

"Aww. You're so cute." I nuzzled him.

Sōsuke's lips twitched.

(◕▾◕✿)

"Ah. Thank you, Sōsuke," said Kisuke as soon as we returned to the barracks.

My barracks, as always, was a cute little place. Since I didn't allow too many members in my division, the barracks itself was significantly smaller than all the other divisions. In exchange, the land behind it was transformed into my perfect little farm where I tended to sheep (mostly suffolk and merino), alpacas, deer, and a massive garden.

I needed some kind of hobby outside murdering people. Tending to animals and plants helped keep me grounded and mark the passage of time. The wool I created was top tier so I was able to make money off selling it as a luxury good.

I pretty much had a monopoly on luxury wool.

No, I didn't kill my competition! I didn't need to. My fur babies were specially bred over centuries using my eons of knowledge. My competition couldn't compete unless they were able to get their hands on one of my fur babies to breed with.

Which some have tried. That was literally why I massacred the Central 46 centuries ago because some of those nobles wanted my fur babies.

Regardless—

The end result was that while my barracks was technically smaller than most, I was able to compensate for that by giving each of my members very nice living quarters. Each member had their own section complete with a living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, office, and storage room. They were free to decorate however they pleased.

All apartments were linked to the main building, however, and that was where I stayed. The entrance to the barracks lead to a wide room with tatami mats. That room was normally empty, but if I was hosting a party I would set up tables, games, and whatnot there.

Most visitors came in through the side that connected directly to my office. The barracks was surrounded by a traditional wooden Japanese-style patio, and surrounding that patio were flowering bushes. My office hadn't changed over the decades—mostly because I was too lazy and uncaring to do so—but I did update my inner courtyard every few decades or so by swapping out which plants I grew there.

I was currently growing a lot of azaleas and hydrangeas.

Did you know hydrangeas could turn pink when the roots absorbed blood? Dead giveaway for hidden bodies.

I was surprised to find Kisuke waiting for me in my office. He was seated at the kotatsu table I kept inside.

Despite the fact that my squad members had their own apartments, they were constantly in my office. It was fantastic.

"What're you doing here?" I asked, hopping out of Sōsuke's arms to take a seat at the kotatsu table. I was pleased that Sajin had already prepared tea for our guest, alongside some snacks I had baked yesterday.

Sōsuke sat next to me as Sajin poured me a cup of tea.

Kisuke offered me a brief smile. "I find myself in need of your assistance."

My blue eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Hm. Badly enough you sent So-So to hunt me down?"

"Yes," he said. "I need you to approve a different budget."

"A different—" I grimaced. "You need me to give you approval for a higher budget. And you need it tonight, I'm guessing."

"Ding-ding," he said cheerfully. "The supplier will be leaving tonight, and he doesn't accept IOUs."

My lips pursed. "Do you have a report ready?"

"Nope."

"Do you have an estimation?"

"Nope."

I clapped my hands together, repressing the desire to groan at what I knew was going to be a huge pain in the ass. "You want a blank check?"

"Yep."

"Fuck you," I said, even as I reached over to my desk and pulled out a blanket approval. I stamped it, and handed it over. "Future me wants to reiterate: fuck you very much for this upcoming migraine."

"I accept the fuck yous and I apologize to future Rirī," he said, leaning over to give me a quick kiss on the check. "Bye-bye!"

"Fuck you one more time," I said as he fled. He gave me a thumbs up as he left.

"I'm not helping budget that," Sōsuke informed me.

I laughed, "I would not force that horror upon you."

Sajin cleared his throat. "Do you often grant blank checks?"

"No," I said. "Because it means I have to come up with whatever money he ends up spending. Last time I handed one out was to Gen-Gen and I ended up having to dip into my personal savings to cover his butt."

Sōsuke frowned at that. "What did he need that required so much money?"

"An elaborate scheme to make me miserable as punishment for dousing his entire division in hallucinogenic poison that made them strip," I sighed.

Sajin and Sōsuke wisely chose not to comment.

Gin returned, stepping into the barracks with his standard smile. "Hello."

"Welcome back," I greeted cheerfully.

Sajin stood up. "Ah, thank you for running those errands, Gin."

"Of course," Gin demurred. "Whatever I can do to help."

"Then," I said, climbing out of the kotatsu, "help me in the kitchen. I'll make us some dinner."

"Yes, Captain."

"Ah. Such a good boy," I cooed, reaching over and affectionately patting his head. "My precious baby boy."

Sōsuke sighed. "He is not your baby."

"I can be her baby," said Gin with such a big smile I knew he was a troll at heart. Gah! So cute.

I pulled Gin into a hug, looked Sōsuke dead in the eye and said, "My baby."

"Fine," he said with the air of a tired parent who was giving up on their toddler. "Your baby."

I blew him a kiss. "Thank you for enabling me."

"I suppose I can't constantly deny you," he said.

"You do better than most," Sajin helpfully encouraged. "I heard some other captains call you her leash."

"What a marvelous title," Sōsuke said flatly.

"Leash, huh? Does that mean we need a safe word now—?"

Sōsuke stood up and said, "I'll be retiring for the evening. Goodnight, Captain."

"Good night, Lieutenant," I said with a smile.

(◕▾◕✿)

"Nice," I praised Rangiku. "Your form has really improved, sweetie."

Rangiku's pale blue eyes glistened with delight under the praise. She sharply bowed to me. "Thank you, Master."

"You give thanks too easily," I told her, reaching forward and patting her shoulder. "At the rate you're going, you'll graduate in only a few years."

Her brow creased. "A few years, huh..."

"Hey that's pretty good," I told her. "Most people take seven or so years before they pass the final test. Some even take ten. Completing everything in only three years is excellent."

Rangiku hesitated. "There... there was a boy who graduated in only one year."

'Ah.'

Her disappointment was to be expected.

She and Gin were childhood friends. Canonically it would be years—decades?—before she saw Gin again so she thought Gin had forgotten about her due to his distance. However, because Yoruichi and I found her so quickly, she entered the academy at the same time as him.

Unfortunately for her, he completely rebuffed her, forcibly creating distance between the two so Sōsuke would not notice how important Rangiku was to Gin.

Rangiku wasn't aware of his motives, to her, it seemed like her childhood friend (and love of her life) abandoned her. She was lost, hurt, and confused. She wanted to be with Gin, yet he wouldn't let that happen.

All because of Sōsuke.

Ahh. I hadn't anticipated seeing signs of the Hollowfication incident so soon, but what could I do?

Besides, he was only collecting information. I still had a couple of decades until the violent deaths in the Rukon District.

I pulled Rangiku into a hug, rubbing her back. "Kitten, you shouldn't compare yourself to others. A fish is better at swimming, and a bird is better at flying. Everyone has something they're good at, and some people can show it off a bit sooner than others. You're a wonderful student, and you'll become a talented Shinigami."

Rangiku hugged me tightly, burying her nose in the crook of my shoulder. "Thank you, Master."

"Any time," I assured her.

"Annnd the last beauty has arrived!" exclaimed Yoruichi as she flash-stepped into our training area. "Aww, huggy time?"

I opened up my arms and Yoruichi happily joined into the hug, hugging Rangiku from behind.

"Huggy time is best time," I said.

(◕▾◕✿)

The streets of Seireitei were bustling. The smell of baked goods, incense, and all other neat things filled the air. I loved roaming the marketplace because it was so filled with life. Some days I would wander around aimlessly, simply enjoying the ambience. If I was lucky, I'd get to see something interesting.

On that beautiful sunny morning, Sōsuke and I were on our way to meet up with Kisuke for some tea. Yoruichi had told us about a new tea and dango shop that had opened up. It was a small stall with benches set up outside the shop. Yoruichi bragged it had some of the best dango—aside from the ones I made—and Kisuke and I were curious to try it.

It was surprising to find that Shinji was also at the tea shop, along with Kisuke's lieutenant, Hiyori, and third-seat, Mayuri.

'Uwa, I didn't expect Mayuri and Hiyori to come along,' I thought.

Mayuri because the man never left the lab, and Hiyori because she always seemed exasperated whenever Kisuke and I got together. She, like Suì-Fēng, thought I was a bad influence for her captain. Said I enabled his laziness or something. Why, she even tried to kick my shins a couples time before. Unluckily for her, Sajin was there both times, caught her, and reprimanded her.

Or maybe lucky for her. I didn't take kindly to my shins being attacked. Go for the nose before you go for my shins.

Shinji noticed me and raised an eyebrow. "Ah, yes. The queen of genocide has arrived."

I mockingly bowed. "Ooo. I like that title."

"You would," he said, taking a sip from his tea. "I see now why Urahara didn't want to mention who he was meeting with."

"You would have left," Kisuke admonished. "I had no choice but to hide Rirī."

I teased, "You make me sound like a dirty mistress or something."

Kisuke patted the seat next to him. "Apologies if I upset you. Come sit here and I'll make it up to you."

I smiled, glancing over at Sōsuke. "Think I should let him, So-So?"

"I will support whatever choice you make, Captain," Sōsuke loyally responded.

"What dedication," dryly commented Shinji.

"What an enabler," muttered Hiyori.

Shinji chuckled at her remark. "Speaking of genocide—Captain Rirī, you wouldn't happen to know about what's going on in the Rukon District? The violent deaths?"

'Violent deaths in the Rukon District? Wait—oh my gosh.'

It only took a half-second for me to realize what part of the play we had reached.

'How did I make this happen so much earlier? Er, well... I mean it's only earlier by a few decades so not that far off but still... I don't think I did anything that different. Well, I did give Sōsuke a high-tech secret laboratory for his birthday about a decade ago, and I guess I did kinda give him permission to take a few of those Quincy corpses that Kisuke didn't want, and the leftover Hollows I didn't need to evolve Grimmjow.'

'Hmm.'

'Okay I see how that might have sped things up. Whoopsy! Tee-hee.'

"Violent deaths?" echoed Kisuke.

Then I realized the implication of Shinji's question.

"Wait, why do you think I would know anything about that?" I asked with a narrowed gaze.

"You have been responsible for the most massacres," Shinji blithely pointed out.

"All—er—mostly all sanctioned!" I protested, disliking his implication. Damn it, my zanpakutō was Evil™, not me.

Kisuke asked, "What's going on in the Rukon District?"

Shinji took a drink from his tea. "In the past month or so, there have been a series of incidents where residents of the Rukon District have been disappearing. The reason is unknown."

Kisuke cocked his head. "Disappearing? You mean they went somewhere and never came back? I don't see how that's related to Rirī—"

"Are you an idiot? That's running away," chided Shinji. "If they ran away, who cares? They can do whatever they want. But this is different. They literally 'disappear.' Gone, without a trace, leaving only their clothes behind. If they died and became spirits the clothes they were wearing would disappear as well. They didn't die. They vanished alive, unable to retain human form. That's the only explanation I can think of."

"I fail to see how that relates to me. If I killed them, I wouldn't have stripped them and left their clothes behind like some sick calling card," I argued.

"Can't fault me for seeing mass death and immediately thinking it's related to you," said Shinji.

At that, I glared.

Kisuke, sensing my irritation, decided to move the conversation along. He asked, "Who's investigating?"

"Captain Kensei," answered Shinji.

Kisuke shifted his weight. "Ah, Squad 10, huh?"

"Ah, so," I said, turning away. "Kisuke, I'll rain check on that tea. Sōsuke, let's go."

"Yes, Captain," said Sōsuke, his expression and voice carefully neutral.

Kisuke winced. "Uh-oh. She didn't even use his nickname. Shinji, you really don't need to provoke her so much—"

(◕▾◕✿)

Back in my office, I flopped over on my tatami mats, letting out a low groan. Sōsuke quietly took a seat beside me.

I sighed, rolling around.

"Captain," Sōsuke said gently, "you don't need to pay Shinji any mind."

"Do I come across as evil?" I asked him.

"By what definition?"

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. It was so hard to see right and wrong sometimes. So many lives and worlds blurred together. Some worlds cherished battle and death and revered it. Some worlds thought it was vile and only beasts would do it. I didn't even see death as a bad thing, so it was hard to remember that it was for some people.

'Shoot, am I evil?'

Sōsuke placed a warm hand on my back. "Captain, I do not think you are evil."

"Really?" I asked him, peeking in between my fingers. "Really, really?"

Sōsuke smiled. "On the contrary, I find you to be one of the warmest souls I have ever met."

"Oh." I lowered my hands, smiling shyly at that. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome."

(◕▾◕✿)

A couple of days later

Sajin and I were enjoying a late night of calligraphy.

The werewolf had picked up calligraphy not too long ago. He was browsing for new hobbies outside practicing his swordsmanship. Genryūsai recommended calligraphy to him during one of our big Pancake Breakfasts we had once a week.

He had been hesitant at first, but he purchased his own calligraphy set anyway.

I had been tutoring him ever since. It was rather pleasant. Teaching others was one of the few things I consistently enjoyed in all of my lives. In between training Rangiku as a Shinigami with Yoruichi, training Gin to become a captain (by trying to help him unlock his bankai), and now Sajin in calligraphy, I got to spend a lot of my days doing things I loved.

Things were pleasant.

Things would be even better, however, once Sōsuke framed me for the Hollowfication so he could take over Squad 5 as Captain and I got to take a vacation.

Ooo, boy, I could hardly wait!

"Emergency assembly! Emergency assembly! All squad captains, assemble immediately at Squad 1's barracks. There is an emergency with squad 10. The spiritual readings for Squad 10 Captain Kensei Muguruma and Lieutenant Mashiro Kuna have vanished. As a result, an emergency meeting of squad captains will be convened!"

The emergency announcement rang throughout Seireitei. It made me pause in my brushstroke.

I carefully set down the ink brush. "Looks like we'll have to resume another time."

"Yes," agreed Sajin, his ears flicking. "I hope all is well."

"I'm sure everything will be fine," I reassured him. "Please tend to the barracks while I'm gone."

"Yes, Captain."

(◕▾◕✿)

I headed to Genryūsai's barracks, meeting up with Shunsui on the way. I felt his latest lieutenant, a pretty young girl named Lisa, right at his heels and hidden in the shadows.

Upon entering the barracks, we were greeted by the other captains. Once most of the captains had arrived—Kisuke was the only one missing—Genryūsai started to explain the situation.

"We have an emergency," said Genryūsai. "According to the reports from Squad 10's camp that's now standing by at the scene, the reiatsu of both Captain Kensei Muguruma and Lieutenant Mashiro Kuna who were out in the field, have vanished. The cause is unknown. We must consider the possibility that this is a worst-case scenario. What, until yesterday, was simply an incident that occurred in the Rukon District has now become something that we must stake the pride of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads to resolve. Therefore, from this moment, I will select five people of captain class and dispatch them to the scene—"

The door to the meeting room swung open, Kisuke running in out of breath.

"You're late, Kisuke Urahara," Genryūsai sharply reprimanded.

"Let me... go there, please," Kisuke panted.

Genryūsai coolly assessed Kisuke. "No."

"My lieutenant is headed there now," Kisuke argued. "I—"

"Kisuke," Yoruichi cut in. "You're making a scene, pull yourself together. Didn't you make the choice to send her? Your panic is an insult to her."

Shunsui stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on Kisuke. "Now, don't just stand there. Line up next to me."

Shunsui pulled Kisuke to his side. Genryūsai smiled briefly at that then said, "I will now continue. Captain of Squad 3, Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi; Captain of Squad 9, Shinji Hirako; Captain of Squad 7, Love Aikawa. The three I just named will head to the site. Captain of Squad 2, Yoruichi Shihōin, will stand by for further orders. Captain of Squad 6, Ginrei Kuchiki; Captain of Squad 8, Shunsui Kyoraku; and Captain of Squad 13, Jūshirō Ukitake, the three of you will guard the Seireitei. Captain of Squad 4, Retsu Unohana, you will stand by in the medical treatment room—"

"Just a minute, Head Captain," Retsu smoothly interjected. "If your concern is treating casualties, shouldn't I head to the scene?"

"With the situation so unclear, we shouldn't needlessly risk you," Genryūsai disagreed. "I'm sending someone else."

The doors opened up to the Grand Kidō Chief Tessai, and his lieutenant, Hachigen. The two approached Genryūsai.

Genryūsai ordered, "I want you two to head to the scene."

"Hey, old fart," said Shunsui.

Genryūsai sighed.

Shunsui said, "I was thinking that without knowing the situation on the front, isn't sending both the Kidō Commander and his lieutenant a bad idea?"

"And what would you, you stupid little brat, do?" Genryūsai retorted.

"I would send my lieutenant in place of the Kidō Commander."

"You're going to summon her now?" Jūshirō asked in surprise.

"Yep. Lisa!" called Shunsui.

"What?" asked Lisa, hopping up on the other side of the window directly behind Shunsui.

Shunsui grinned. "See?" He turned his head toward his lieutenant. "Didn't I tell you that you must not peek into a captain's meeting?"

"I couldn't help it. It's human nature to want to see something you keep hidden."

"And the details?"

"I heard."

"Can I ask you to do it?" Shunsui asked.

"Of course," Lisa returned.

"Then I'll be counting on you," said Shunsui.

"Deciding things like that on your own—you are so Rirī's student," Genryūsai complained

"Tee-hee," I said.

"Speaking of which," Shinji said, "what will our resident wildcard be doing?"

"Captain Rirī will be staying put," said Genryūsai, raising an eyebrow at Shinji. "Is that a problem?"

"Of course not," he said. "Things might actually be resolved that way."

'You are so lucky Sōsuke is going to probably frame this whole thing on me anyway, I thought. Ahhh... it's going to be great living up on the human world and sneaking back in to watch over Tōshirō. No more paperwork. Just me, Kisuke, Yoruichi, and whoever else ends up getting screwed over... living life. I can't wait to set up our candy shop! I'll even go on Iron Chef whenever that starts airing.'

I couldn't hide my happy smile at the thought.

'Hurry up and frame me, Sōsuke! Take over my squad so I never have to worry about paperwork again! Ahhhh. First thing I'm doing after being freed is taking a vacation on the beach. Gonna do nothing but relax and drink daiquiris for, like, months.'

A pause.

'Okay, first thing I do is kidnap my fur babies and set up a farm in the World of the Living then I'll drink daiquiris on the beach.'

Genryūsai's eyes narrowed. He didn't glare at Shinji, but he came close to it. "Dismissed."

(◕▾◕✿)

Obviously, I didn't stay in Soul Society.

If I wanted to get properly framed, I'd need to give Sōsuke a huge window of opportunity to plant all the evidence.

Therefore, as soon as the meeting was done, I teleported to Hueco Mundo to play games with my Hollow buddies.

We gathered in the den, sitting on the floor around a kotatsu table while playing poker.

"Read 'em and weep, shitheads," Lilynette cackled as she threw her cards down.

"I fucking hate you so goddamn much," Grimmjow groaned.

"Should have folded," Ulquiorra chided.

"I hate you, too."

"Be nice to your brother," Starrk scolded him.

"I hate this family."

"Oh my gosh, guys he admitted that we're family!" I cooed. Grimmjow reached over and pulled me into a headlock. "Awwww. I feel so—hurrrk can't breathe—loved."

"Stop strangling your mommy," Lilynette said dismissively as she pulled in the tokens. "Ahh. Victory feels so nice."

Starrk got up from the floor. "I'm going to make some more cocoa, anyone want some?"

"Me," I wheezed as Grimmjow tightened his hold.

"Me as well, thank you," echoed Ulquiorra.

"I'll take some white hot cocoa," added Lilynette.

"Coming up," said Starrk with a lazy salute.

I tapped on Grimmjow's elbow and the kitty let me go. "Owie. You're getting so strong. I'm so proud of you."

Grimmjow preened. "Yeah, well. I can hunt any Hollow by myself now."

I patted his head, the kitty giving me a feral grin in return.

When Starrk returned with a tray of our drinks, I decided it was time to broach the subject.

"So I have a favor," I said. "Feel free to refuse, but I'd appreciate your help in this."

Starrk asked, "What can we do?"

"See, I've got myself a little scheming lieutenant, and I feel like he'll be stopping by in this world any day now to look for recruits..."

"You want us to be recruited?" asked Ulquiorra.

"Be my little spies?" I asked with a smile. "It'll be a long term scheme."

"Sure," said Grimmjow. "We literally have nothing else to do."

"I would be honored to assist you," agreed Ulquiorra.

"What are family for?" Starrk shrugged. "So tell us about this lieutenant."

"He's handsome—"

"Relevant details," Grimmjow cut in. "How strong is he?"

"He could probably kick all of your asses combined," I said.

Grimmjow slapped the table, glowering. "THE FUCK HE CAN."

(◕▾◕✿)

I made sure to return niiiiiice and late. Gave Sōsuke pleeeenty of time to set up the framing. I popped back home at lunch, a big smile on my face.

"Hi!" I greeted.

Sōsuke was the only other one in the barracks at that time. He politely returned my greeting.

"Did you enjoy your evening out, Captain?" asked Sōsuke.

"Why, yes I did!"

"That's wonderful. You deserved the break since you finished all of your paperwork on time," he said.

I beamed. "Thanks, So-So! Gosh, I hope I won't be late to have tea with Yoru—"

"Ah," said Sōsuke. "About that... Captain, I'm sorry to tell you this, but..."

And that was when Sōsuke told me a very similar story.

The canonical events of the Hollowfication Arc.

Kisuke was framed. The same Shinigamis were turned into hybrids. Yoruichi and Tessai left with Kisuke.

I listened until the end of his story.

I closed my eyes.

"Fuck me," I whispered, picturing my sunny day at the beach with daiquiris slowly disintegrate into the wind. Tears pricked at my eyes as I realized I would be stuck with paperwork for many, many more years to come.

"Oh," said Sōsuke. He stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Please don't cry, Captain. Even with them gone... you're not alone. I'm—we're still here for you."

I sniffled, stepping into Sōsuke's arms for a hug. I couldn't tell if I ought to be happy that Sōsuke liked(?) me enough to frame Kisuke instead of me, or upset that he framed Kisuke instead of me. On one hand, it was sweet of him to not try to get rid of me like he did to his canonical captain. On the other hand, damn, I wanted my vacation.

With a sigh, I stepped back and plopped onto my patio that overlooked my inner courtyard. I swung my legs out over the edge, and stared listlessly at my pink hydrangeas. Sōsuke quietly took a seat beside me.

The play was setting up like chess.

Certain pieces still fell into the same place despite my intervention, but now those pieces were being swapped out.

Instead of a standard board, I was replacing my pawns with queens, ready to wreak havoc upon Yhwach.

"Oh, Sōsuke. Why didn't you frame me?" I whispered. "I would have been a much easier target than Kisuke."

Sōsuke stiffened very briefly, then relaxed. Instead of answering my question right away, he asked one of his own, "Aren't you going to report me?

I scoffed. "No way. I like you."

He smiled faintly at that. "Then, isn't it possible my reasoning is the same?"

"I doubt it."

"How cold, Captain."

"There's nothing wrong with not liking me. I know I'm erratic and it's difficult for some people."

Sōsuke was silent for several minutes, his gaze focused on the vibrantly pink garden. "You... are fine as you are, Captain."

"You're sweet for saying so."

"For someone who gives praise easily, why do you have a hard time accepting it upon yourself?"

I blinked in surprise at his question. "Oh..."

That wasn't easy to answer.

Giving love was easy. It came natural as breathing to me. I could cherish people the same way a gardener cherished their flowers. I loved them, even knowing I'd see them wilt in what would only feel like a blink of an eye. They were beautiful at the moment and deserved the compassion I could give them.

Life was like that—a garden filled with flowers. Some were weeds that had to be pulled, but many of them were beautiful buds getting ready to blossom.

It was easy to love them.

But to accept their love in return?

I had outlived too many people. I couldn't even count how many times someone I cared for died in my arms.

In bad lives, I wouldn't remember all the joy... only the deaths.

I didn't last long in those lives.

I was an old soul, but I was not invulnerable to the pain.

Accepting love required a certain level of opening up.

That was difficult to do when in the back of my head I felt a timer counting down to our departure. It wasn't that I was inherently against the idea, but after so many times being hurt, it was exceedingly difficult to overcome that anxiety. I could only feel truly safe with the souls I knew because I had faith we'd meet again.

Our goodbyes weren't goodbyes, they were only see you later.

The people I were most comfortable with were those that didn't reincarnate with me at all. The ones who were immortal and lived separate from the cycles of life and death. Some even chose to live in the In Between with my kaleidoscope.

They, I could always turn to. Those like Kurama, Shiori, Booboo, Shaiapouf, Snuggles, and many others.

It was hard to put that into words. Hard to explain my trauma in one sentence.

Hard to admit I had scars.

Sōsuke reached out a hand. He placed it atop my head and said, "It'll be okay, Captain."

I closed my eyes, leaning into him. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

(◕▾◕✿)

(Kisuke Urahara)

Kisuke Urahara let out a long, tired sigh.

He got played.

He got played hard.

When he first heard about the disappearances in the Rukon District, he had a sinking feeling. He hoped his instincts were false—that he was reading too much into it—and sent his lieutenant to investigate, but then...

Kisuke couldn't shake his gut feeling that something was deeply wrong with the situation. He, and Tessai, went straight to the scene despite the Head Captain's orders.

It was a dark night.

Kisuke almost couldn't believe his eyes. As soon as he arrived at the scene, stepping out into the clearing, he only had a moment to process what he saw.

Sōsuke Aizen, Rirī's lieutenant, stood above a kneeling Shinji about to execute the captain. Kisuke leapt at Sōsuke, intent on disarming the Shinigami but Sōsuke was faster than Kisuke anticipated. Sōsuke moved away, forcing Kisuke to slice off his lieutenant badge instead.

"Ho...? What an interesting guest," calmly observed Sōsuke. The lieutenant lowered his zanpakutō, completely at ease. "What brings you here, Captain Urahara and Kidō Commander Tsukabishi?"

"This is bad. They found us," joked Gin, blood splattered on his face.

'Two of Rirī's division members?' Kisuke thought. He didn't think Rirī was involved—he knew her well enough to tell she was genuinely indigent by Shinji's accusations—but with two members of her team here...

Kaname pulled out his zanpakutō. "I'll get rid of them."

"No, that won't be necessary," Sōsuke softly ordered.

"But—"

"Kaname," said Sōsuke, turning his head slightly to directly address Kaname. "I said that won't be necessary."

"Y-Yes, sir! Please forgive my impudence," Kaname said quickly, kneeling.

'What a strange sight,' Kisuke had thought, perturbed.

"K-Kisuke..." Shinji whispered, his voice rasped with pain as he stumbled forward. It was then that Kisuke noticed the odd white substance growing out of the captain's body. It looked—

'No... surely not?'

Shinji panted, "Why'd you come, you idiot?"

Kisuke retorted, "What's with that vulgar mask?"

Shinji let out a strained chuckle. "That's right, say what you want."

Kisuke smiled briefly at that, glancing around the clearing and spotting many more Shinigamis with those odd masks... Hollow masks. Including Kisuke's own lieutenant, Hiyori.

Kisuke sharply addressed Sōsuke, "Lieutenant Aizen."

"Yes?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Nothing," Sōsuke said. "As you can see, I just happened to find the members of the investigation unit in charge of the vanishing soul case who were injured in battle, and I was attempting to rescue them."

"You bastard," growled Shinji. "How can you lie so shamelessly?"

"I've been friends with Rirī long enough to know when I'm lied to," Kisuke said. "Why are you lying?"

"Lying?" Sōsuke echoed, his tone the perfect pitch of innocence despite the blood on his uniform. He even had the audacity to smile kindly. "Is there a problem with a Shinigami simply helping out his comrades?

"That's not what I'm talking about. Injured in battle? You and I are not idiots. You mustn't lie in these circumstances, Aizen. These injuries are from Hollowfication."

Sōsuke's smile slipped.

Kisuke continued, "The vanishing soul case... all likely attempts at Hollowfication. By your hand, I would assume. Is Rirī really involved in this after all...?

"Rirī has nothing to do with this," said Sōsuke. "She is entirely unaware."

"I doubt she is as clueless as you believe her to be," Kisuke said.

"Clueless is not the word I would use." Sōsuke's lips twitched as he fought back a smile. "Willing ignorance?" Sōsuke put away his zanpakutō. "Good night, Captain Urahara. Gin, Kaname... we've fulfilled our objective." Sōsuke turned and started to walk away. "Let's go."

Gin and Kaname followed behind him.

"Hold on, Aizen! I'm not done talking to you—"

"Stand clear, Urahara!" Tessei shouted. "Hado 88: Hiryū Gekizoku Shinten Raihō!"

Kisuke leapt back as Tessei unleashed a massive blue-white beam of pure reiatsu straight at Sōsuke, Gin, and Kaname.

But Sōsuke was able to conjure a barrier to block it without even turning back. The resounding explosion of the beam and barrier hitting shook the entire clearing, and when the smoke cleared... they were gone.

From there, Kisuke chose to prioritize trying to save the Shinigami undergoing Hollowfication. He and Tessei transported them back to Kisuke's lab where he focused on stabilizing them.

Unfortunately, in doing so, he gave Sōsuke ample time to frame Kisuke for the hollowfication experiments. Thanks to Sōsuke's zanpakutō, he was even able to craft a perfect alibi for himself.

Kisuke was lucky that one of his oldest friends, Yoruichi, chose to believe in Kisuke's innocence above all else. With her help, Kisuke, and Tessai—who had tagged along with Kisuke and was subsequently equally framed—rescued the Hollowed-Shinigami and fled to the World of the Living.

World of the Living.

They were fugitives. Banished from their home and now forced... forced to completely start over.

Kisuke had a couple safe houses stashed away in the World of the Living but he hoped he would never have to use them.

He sighed again.

Shiori, a translucent butterfly wrapped in white light, fluttered into existence before them. Shiori normally presented herself as a human soul to hide her true form, but to those who were close to Rirī they knew Shiori was Rirī's summoned contract and matriarch of the kaleidoscope. Shiori had two main abilities—selective reproduction which allowed her to recreate the kaleidoscope with abilities that suited Rirī's need, and teleportation.

Very similar to a jigokuchō, except Shiori did not need to pass through Senkaimon because she could traverse anywhere, and consequently, could take Rirī anywhere.

Although Kisuke would bet his favorite hat that Rirī didn't need Shiori to teleport, rather the old soul hid her true abilities behind her summons.

Shiori fluttered in the air, and shortly behind her, Rirī appeared.

A hole opened up behind the small pink-haired Shinigami, and several suitcases fell from the hole. One of them popped open upon hitting the ground to reveal... money.

A lot of money.

A lot, lot, lot of money.

Rirī sullenly looked at the ground and mumbled, "This should be enough to cover anything you'd need. I also included paperwork to set up for IDs, and contact information for people who can help you with... whatever."

Yoruichi frowned upon seeing the pile of money. "You came prepared."

"I was going to take my vacation on the beach with you, Yoruichi. We would be sipping daiquiris under the sunset," she said sadly.

Yoruichi clutched at her chest. "I love daiquiris."

"I know, baby girl." Rirī looked back up, her teal-blue eyes uncharacteristically glassy. Kisuke felt uncomfortable. Rirī was never the type of person to cry. In fact, he could only remember one time she had before. She said, "I'm sorry. I really thought he'd frame me."

Kisuke stared at her in disbelief.

Rirī was a clever soul, more so than what she'd like most people to believe. If Kisuke had a question—any question—that he could not resolve on his own, it would Rirī he went to for help. Between her intelligence and experience, she was always able to help him. He'd give an arm and leg to have her under his division as an assistant instead of a captain, but oh well.

The point was, Rirī was smart. Very smart.

So it was surprising whenever she behaved like a complete idiot.

'Does she really not know?' Kisuke thought. 'There's no way he would ever frame her.'

He knew Rirī well enough to know when she was being sincere and when she was bullshitting. At that moment, she was being sincere.

"You're an idiot," Kisuke whispered, stunned by her obliviousness.

She hung her head, her shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry."

Kisuke couldn't help himself and pulled her into a hug. Rirī was one of the few people Kisuke felt affectionate with, likely because she was constantly showering him with affection. Enough to the point where he actively missed her hugs and would seek her out for them. "You're an adorable idiot though."

She hugged him tightly back. "If you want, I'll slaughter the entire Central 46 and kill anyone who doesn't let you back."

"I know you would," he said, because he did. She absolutely would if he asked her to.

But he was not like Rirī. He did not feel comfortable with needless death. Two wrongs didn't make a right, even if she was coming in a place of good intentions. That, and he didn't see how it would ultimately resolve the situation.

Even if Rirī removed the initial pieces, unless Kisuke had a way of dealing with Sōsuke, the lieutenant would come up with some other way to get rid of him.

Kisuke doubted Rirī would be willing to kill Sōsuke. Once she considered someone a friend, she'd sooner set the world on fire (literally) than harm them.

Sōsuke would not ask Rirī to hurt Kisuke for him, and so Kisuke could not ask Rirī to hurt Sōsuke for him.

She would not harm either side, and she would not stop either side.

Therefore, Kisuke had to find a way to deal with Sōsuke without Rirī's assistance.

Which was fine. He did not begrudge her; he knew her nature like he knew the back of his hand. Getting upset with her would only make the situation worse for him, not better.

It was, admittedly, still a very deplorable situation.

"I love you both so much," she said.

"Aww, I love you too," said Yoruichi.

Even so, he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

It still stung. Defeat was bitter. It clawed in his heart, stung and tore at him. He hated it. He hated losing, especially to someone so damn smug. He got played—no getting around that fact—and he lost a lot of things.

But, he didn't lose the most important things.

"I love you too," he echoed his friend.

Because he did.

(◕▾◕✿)

Um. Apparently there's a limit to how many pictures you can upload to a wattpad chapter so sorry I couldn't give pictures of everyone.  

Long chapter is long. I could have split up the Hollowfication arc but like we're getting so much closer to the start of the story! I am so excited to switch outta Rirī's POV and have people react!

To clarify the soul inside Tōshirō: Tōshirō is still canonical Tōshirō, Rirī has simply met him previously in different incarnations. Only Rirī keeps memories of past lives. There might be some familiarity between an old soul and Rirī, but nothing concrete.

Answer: Toss up between Sōsuke, Tōshirō, and Kisuke. I feel like I'd naturally get along with Yoruichi and Rangiku so I wouldn't need the extra help.

Question: Who would be your rival in the Bleachverse?

Reviews are love!