Kisuke quickly tempered the chocolate, using the scoops to glide it across the chilled slab of marble in the kitchen.

"That's it," I praised him. "You're really getting the hang of candy making now."

"I should hope so after doing it for—how many years has it been?"

"Gosh, I don't remember."

Kisuke's lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. Yoruichi let out a very quiet snore, and curled closer to me. Yoruichi and I were under the kotatsu table. It was winter so I had set up the heater underneath it. Coupled that with a thick, cozy blanket, and it was hard not to nap under it.

The 2nd division captain had returned from a year-long investigation in the Rukongai outer districts. Something about some corrupt nobles starting up a sex slave market which was a big fat No-No in Soul Society. One family she had hidden with had really helped her out, so she included in her report to see if they could be moved into Seireitei and sponsor a few of their members into the academy.

I had to admit it was alarming to read that part of the report. Yoruichi really took a shine to someone named Isshin Shiba.

Isshin was the name of Ichigo's dad, but I didn't recognize the last name. I had no clue when Ichigo's father was even supposed to be born. I was still a few centuries away before I really had to be concerned about that.

'Isshin,' I thought to myself as I read the report. 'Heck, why not? I'll second her sponsor to move the family into Seireitei. I've got enough money to pay for Isshin's admittance to the academy, too.'

Who knew. If he did well enough he could elevate his family status to that of a noble.

'Pfft. Yeah, right.'

My eyes narrowed as I continued to stare at the name.

'My protagonist senses are tingling. It can't be the same Isshin, can it? Let's see... when was he supposed to have been the 10th division Captain? Was it before or after the Hollowfication incident?'

I couldn't remember. The current 10th division captain was Kensei Muguruma. Kensei had originally been the 9th division captain, but since I stole the 5th division for myself it caused all kinds of whacky shenanigans with who captained the divisions now.

'Guess I'll just have to see him at the academy and confirm first hand.'

Yoruichi had returned from the mission that very day, took a shower, then came over to my place to work on her report while I made her comfort food. She crawled right under the kotatsu, wrote up her with one hand, and ate freshly baked buttered rolls with the other. As soon as her report was finished she had flopped back onto the tatami mats and fell into a food coma. Kisuke came back later that evening, which lead us to the current situation.

I looked back down at Yoruichi's report, correcting some of her grammatical mistakes that likely occurred due to her exhaustion. Kisuke scraped off the tempered chocolate from the marble, adding it into the double broiler to be reheated into a glaze. With a careful hand, I adjusted the kotatsu blanket over Yoruichi and myself, taking care not to wake the tired captain.

By the time I finished the first half of Yoruichi's report, Kisuke had completed making his bonbons. He stuck the plate of them in the freezer, then crawled under the kotatsu on my other side.

"Is there anything better than relaxing under a heated kotatsu in winter?" Kisuke sighed happily, laying back on the ground.

"Not many things can compete," I said with an easy smile. "You look as haggard as Yorui."

"It was a rough mission," Kisuke admitted.

Yoruichi's eyes slowly opened. She yawned, sitting back up and rubbing at them. "Time is it?"

"Oh, I'd say around twenty hundred," I answered. "You can sleep over if you like. I can finish reviewing your report then make you some breakfast in the morning. Anything you'd like."

"This is why I love you," Yoruichi sleepily murmured.

"I love you too, dearie," I said, patting the top of her head. "Kisuke, the offer is open to you, as well. I have plenty of guest rooms."

"I'd rather stay under the kotatsu," Kisuke admitted, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders then sighing happily once more.

"Seconded," Yoruichi agreed. "I wish I could be a cat. Then I could put my whole body underneath."

"If you turn into a cat in front of me I'm liable to give you chin scratches."

"I am absolutely okay with that."

I stretched my arms up in the air. "Next time you come over—excluding pancake Mondays of course—Kisuke, we'll make some pocky."

"Pocky?"

"Oh yeah. They're great, you can play the pocky game."

"Pocky game?" Yoruichi and Kisuke repeated with curiosity.

Feeling a surge of mischief, I smirked coyly and asked, "Want to play?"

"Sure," replied Kisuke as he curiously cocked his head.

I crawled out from under the blanket. I hopped up and went over to my kitchen cabinet to pull out the jar of chocolate pocky sticks I had made earlier. I sat back down in between Yoruichi and Kisuke under the kotatsu.

"Here," I said, handing Kisuke a pocky stick. "Hold one end between your teeth."

Kisuke gingerly accepted it, placing one end between his lips. "Like this?"

"Mm-hmm."

I reached forward, cupping both sides of his face before I leaned up and bit on the other end of the pocky stick. Kisuke, immediately flustered, bit down on the pocky stick which made it split between us.

Kisuke's face was red and it made me snort. I turned my head to try and smother my laughter. Yoruichi had no issues letting out her loud laughter, which only served to embarrass the man further.

"I was unprepared," Kisuke tried to defend himself. He worked quickly to suppress his blush, hiding the lower half of his face behind his black sleeves until it was manageable.

"Mm-hmm," I placated him, popping in another stick of pocky between my lips.

Yoruichi quickly sat up, biting down at the other end. We snapped it in half, and she gulped her half down quickly. She looked back over at Kisuke with a sly smirk, "Captain Riri didn't even blush."

"She has no shame!"

"I have no shame," I agreed. "Anywhore, that's the pocky game. See how close the two of you can get to the middle without it breaking. Like a lovely game of chicken."

"How brazen," Kisuke muttered.

"I love it," Yoruichi exclaimed, her eyes lit up with devilish delight. "Let's play again."

I counted the pocky sticks I had left. "We've got five rounds. I'll have you know that I'm quite the champion."

"Prepare to be dethroned."

"I'm going to do a hard pass on this," mumbled Kisuke. He slithered under the kotatsu table, curling into a tight ball so we couldn't even see him.

Poor baby. I patted his back from atop the blanket.

"Isn't it great to have friends to play with though?" I tried to console Kisuke and Yoruichi snorted.

Yoruichi reached over and patted Kisuke's back as well. "I think it's wonderful."

"Friendship is wonderful," Kisuke admitted, "but so is sleep after a long mission. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams," we chorused in return.

Unbeknownst to Yoruichi I had a secret technique to keep my throne in the pocky game. It was called: Surprise tickle attack.

(◕▾◕✿)

Grimmjow, still in his pre-Arrancar form, was an adorable kitty cat. Kitty witty. Kitty witty itty. Itty bitty kitty witty.

Kitty was definitely afraid of Ulquiorra.

I arrived at their home with a freshly baked pie only to find Grimmjow practically hissing at Ulquiorra in a corner. Lillynette was trying to comfort Grimmjow, but the poor dear was absolutely terrified.

"How is that a mouth!?" Grimmjow snarled at Ulquiorra. "What the fuck are you?"

Ulquiorra tilted his head cutely.

"Oh you saw that," I said out loud, putting the pieces together.

Yeah. Ulquiorra's mouth-thing was pretty traumatizing. A very good thing he kept it so well hidden. One might assume it was behind his mask, but no. It was not. Oh so tragically... it was not.

Honestly, probably a good thing Kubo kept it hidden. We all knew it had to exist since Hollows had to consume other Hollows to evolve further or else they'd de-evolve like Digimon. Of course Ulquiorra had a mouth-thing.

"You!" Grimmjow snapped his head around to snarl at me, his fangs bared. "What's a Shinigami doing here?"

"Making friends. Potentially hanging out with a future in law," I said, raising my hand up at Ulquiorra who immediately high fived me. He had no idea what I was talking about, but I told him to always high five me when I held up my hand for him. He was such a good boy he did it without question.

Grimmjow scoffed, his tail lashing about behind him. He reminded me of an angry kitten.

'Oh my gooooosh. So adorable,' I thought, and judging from the way Lillynette was covering her mouth to suppress her squeal I knew she thought the same.

I handed off my pie in my other hand to Starrk, who graciously accepted it. He sniffed it and said, "Honey apple?"

"Honey pies for my honepies," I chirped.

"Aww," went Lilynette, reaching for a hug. I pulled her in and kissed her nose. "You're our honeypie."

"Aww," I said. "Group hug!"

"FUCK THAT SHIT," Grimmjow howled, making a beeline for the front door, but Ulquiorra grabbed his tail and forcibly dragged him back to us. We had a lovely group hug with Grimmjow at the center.

"Shhh," I shushed him. "Just accept our love."

"LET ME GO OR FIGHT ME!"

I sucker punched him in the gut so he was rendered unconscious and thus had no way of rejecting our family hug anymore. Stockholm at its finest.

"This is the best family," Starrk declared with a sniffle as he hugged each of us tightly.

The comatose Grimmjow let out a low groan.

(◕▾◕✿)

"I am wounded, my son," I bemoaned, dropping to my knees and sprawling over Genryūsai's lap. The head captain glanced down for a moment at me, and through the corner of my eye I could see Genryūsai's latest vice-captain turn red in the face at my audacity.

'Must be new.'

Genryūsai mockingly gasped. "Wounded? And I have heard no record of blood bath—" he placed a hand over his mouth as he faked a sniffle. "Oh, Teacher, could it be that you've finally turned over a new leaf and have learned the errors of your ways?"

"Where the hell did you get such a sassy mouth," I muttered, reaching up and pinching his cheeks. "You need to swear vengeance whenever I get wounded."

"Pardon me. Who am I swearing vengeance upon now?"

"Central 46. Shiori told me they're plotting to try and kill me again."

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing!" I defended.

"Damn it, Teacher."

"I really haven't done anything yet," I insisted. "One of them found out I massacred the, uh, second to last group before them and they got really scared."

"I mean that's fair," Genryūsai admitted with a nod. "No one can really kill you."

"I wish they'd stop trying."

"No you don't. If you really wanted that, you'd stop antagonizing them."

"Ah. You might have a point there."

"What are you going to do to them this time? This is the, what, seventh group that's tried to kill you?"

"I mean I guess I'll see how they try it. Maybe fake my death for a week and pretend to haunt them from the grave. I do so love seeing the look on their faces after they taste victory only for it to be snatched away."

"Okay," said Genryūsai. "I'll tell Retsu to play along."

"And probably best to tell Shu and Ju so they don't try to avenge my death."

"Yeah, yeah. Or we could take pictures of their faces when they realize they've been tricked," my student countered.

It was my turn to fake a sniffle. "I'm so proud of you."

(◕▾◕✿)

As it turned out, it was Yoruichi who swore vengeance for me when she found out, so we had to spill the beans earlier than expected because she was about to kick some ass.

I still got some great pictures of Jūshirō's, Shunsui's, and Kisuke's faces when they found out I wasn't dead and they moped for a week for no reason. Those pictures would be proudly hung in my bedroom for all eternity.

To my delighted surprise, the Isshin that Yoruichi met was actually the Isshin. I could have sworn he was born in Seireitei to begin with, but perhaps the butterfly effect transplaced his family. I didn't try to actively change how the Soul Society was set up, but I had been there long enough and early enough that anything could go. I should be happy enough that he was Fated to be born to give birth to Ichigo.

Bleach without Ichigo would be... ugh, hard to deal with. I had a good idea on how to handle Yhwach, but given his inherent hax nature I couldn't be certain it would work.

It was why, since the very beginning, I had been giving a little bit of my power to the main cast. In each meal specially made for them, I slipped a touch of my pure spiritual energy into it. Building up over time, their natural capacity to hold reiatsu expanded and consequently their base power rose. The most noticeable changes were in Genryūsai, Shunsui, Jūshirō, Stark, and Lilynette since I had been feeding them for over a thousand years.

I hoped that in the worst case scenario, I had strengthened them enough to deal with Yhwach in a combined effort.

Only time would tell.

With Isshin's sponsorship being handled by Yoruichi and myself, I was given updates on his progress in the academy. He had done impressively enough that Yoruichi felt comfortable sponsoring more of his family members and within ten years the Shiba family had put forth over a dozen decent Shinigami. Who were all practically fodder in comparison to Isshin as far as I was concerned.

Thankfully, we were inching closer and closer to the main cast.

Next up: the Aizen generation.

(◕▾◕✿)

1780 a.d.

"You'll be happy to know I've picked out some normal teammates to take into my division. One of them will even become my new lieutenant," I chirped, folding my hands together behind me.

Genryūsai looked up from his calligraphy, dark eyes assessing me. "It's good to know a hundred years of nagging pays off."

"I told you I was waiting," I dismissively returned, taking a seat across from his floor table. "It was worth threatening and blackmailing those snot-nosed little shits in Central 46 to let me bend the rules for my new lieutenant."

"Hm?" Genryūsai's attention returned to whatever he was writing. As always, my oldest student was pristine and meticulous in everything he did. His back was kept perfectly straight, and his captain sleeves were tied up to prevent them from dipping into the traditional ink slabs on his desk. He only ever sat on seat cushions—he hated chairs with backs, as he believed they were handicaps for those who couldn't maintain a proper posture.

I pouted at this blatant show of disinterest. I knew I still had his attention—he'd been hounding on me to get more people in my squad for centuries. It had been a very long time since I had "normal" people in my squad and the nobles liked to complain about it.

Genryūsai knew me better than most, and he knew the best way to get under my skin was to not give me the attention and reactions I so craved.

Cheeky trolling bastard.

I was so proud of him.

'Some kind of showing of interest would be nice,' I thought, reluctantly handing Genryūsai the file of my future vice captain, and squad members.

Genryūsai silently accepted the folder, setting it in his lap as he opened it and began to peruse through my choices.

I finally got my anticlimactic reaction when he quirked an eyebrow at my choice of lieutenant. "Sōsuke Aizen? He graduates next month, but his grades aren't particularly impressive."

"I want him as my lieutenant," I stubborn said. "He's going to become a captain."

"And how exactly do you know he'll become a captain? I know you're not going to retire any time before your friend is reborn," Genryūsai idly pointed out. "Are you planning on driving Aizen off to another division with your insanity after you've had your fun?"

"Maybe."

Sōsuke Aizen was inevitably going to become a captain. Shinji's division was the most likely one out of the bunch since Shinji's instincts would be screaming to keep an eye on Sōsuke and by consequences, he'd get caught by Sōsuke's trap.

Shinji had always kept a close eye on the academy and its recruits. Kisuke had told me during one of our pancake mornings that Shinji had told him that Shinji had "hanky" vibes about Aizen already.

Honestly, I hoped Sōsuke would try to trap me instead. Getting caught sounded so much more fun than watching it happen.

Over a thousand years I had been waiting for Sōsuke to hurry up and appear! He tricked and outplayed everyone, catching everyone by surprise. For an old troll like myself, I lived for shocking people and getting shocked. Sadly, very few have been able to get the drop on me since coming to Soul Society.

With Sōsuke as my vice-captain, though, I had a good chance of falling for one of his traps!

Super~!

"Not very nice of you to keep running people off," Genryūsai mused. "Certainly unorthodox to choose a lieutenant as a student instead of someone with proper experience. How far has he advanced in his zanpakutō?"

"I'm unorthodox," I dismissed, not answering his zanpakutō question because I honestly had no idea if Sōsuke unlocked his shikai yet. It didn't matter.

"Very true," he agreed. "And the other member of your squad... Kaname Tōsen, and Sajin Komamura. Komamura? Ah, are you taking him under your wing, then?"

Sajin Komamura was our resident werewolf. Genryūsai took a special interest in him when the two first met, and offered to sponsor him into the academy. Sajin, humbled, and grateful for the opportunity, accepted it.

Unfortunately, the poor baby felt so horribly self-conscious about his wolf-like appearance. He refused to go anywhere in public without wearing gloves, a helmet, and every inch of his fur covered.

Which was such a shame! He was our resident furry, after all, and with all that fur he easily ranked top three as Best Cuddler, and top five for Best Boi.

Poor pupp—er—poor fella.

Kaname was an obvious choice. Sōsuke was already working hard at trying to recruit Kaname to his side. I wished Gin had been born just a little bit earlier so I could grab him as I knew Gin wanted to stay close to Sōsuke to exact his Ultimate Revenge on Sōsuke for attacking his waifu, Rangiku.

Who unfortunately wasn't graduating, yet. To be honest, I had no idea where she was, but I was eagerly awaiting her arrival.

Genryūsai hummed and tapped his fingers, needlessly drawing out verbalizing his decision to try to needle me.

To combat this obvious attempt to annoy me, I started to whistle.

Off-key.

"Fine," Genryūsai immediately cut in. He knew if the whistling didn't work I'd start belting out renditions of I Like Big Butts.

Quick as can be, he stamped his approval and I took my leave after blowing him a kiss.

"Pancake Monday better have chocolate chips this week," he cried out as I left.

"Deal!"

(◕▾◕✿)

One month later

In my office, I eagerly awaited their arrival. I prepared some ikebana, and a lovely tea party to greet my new squad members. The red tea was kindly provided by Retsu when she went out to forage for medicinal herbs. She said the plant reminded her of the intestines she had ripped out of an annoying little ant so long ago and it made her nostalgic so she over picked. Additionally, I baked a rich chocolate pound cake, alongside orange scones, and snickerdoodles.

As I took my seat at one side of the table, I hummed a merry little song to myself.

Soon, they would arrive.

While waiting for them to arrive I did another check over of myself. My captain's jacket was kept neat—Genryūsai would throw such a temper tantrum (and not the funny kind) if it was anything less. I kept the sleeves cut off for better maneuverability, though. My pink hair was long, shiny, and well-groomed.

Not a speck of dirt was to be found on me, nor anything to give me a less than completely awesome first impression. Even my Evil™ sword looked spick and span in its black tabard.

Although it still gave off a rather malicious aura if someone looked at it long enough. Even though I tied a cute little pink ribbon around it and everything!

Stupid Evil™ sword.

'Ah.'

It didn't come as any bit of surprise that Sōsuke took the lead in entering first, uttering a polite, "Excuse me."

The shogi doors slid open and I finally got my first good look at the future captains.

Sōsuke Aizen had the appearance of a young man in his early twenties, maybe late teens. His scholarly chestnut brown hair was carefully styled to give the impression of soft and innocent. He had a pair of thick black-rimmed glasses that helped convey the same tone. Even his expression went on to underline this!

'What a smoother fucker. Honestly impressed. If I didn't know better, I would have immediately categorized him in the moe-bishie section.'

That only heightened my excitement at being tricked by him later on. What surprise would he have in store with my addition to the story? The fact that I couldn't accurately predict what would come with his interference put a big smile in my heart.

It was that same feeling you got when you watch a fantastic movie and it reveals a plot twist you never expected but made it all the better.

Standing a bit further away from Sōsuke was Kaname and Sajin. Kaname instantly struck me as absurdly focused. He had an aura of Don't approach me, bitch. He definitely didn't become a Shinigami for the fun of it.

He was either going to hate me more than he has ever hated anyone in his life, or he was going to adapt to my insanity and relax. Dare I say it, he might even have fun if he did so.

Standing the furthest away was our fwuffy boy, Sajin. He was the tallest of the bunch, and bulkiest. Every inch of his appearance was covered in either cloth or armor, and he reflexively kept a glove hand on the hilt of his sword. His appearance and stature might have been intimidating to some, but his spiritual energy was twitching in a clearly nervous fashion.

I put a big grin on my face. "Welcome home, my darling minions! Come inside, make yourselves comfy."

Sōsuke moved first, taking a seat directly across from me. Kaname sat next to him, and Sajin a bit further away on the opposite side.

"It's an honor to be personally invited into the 5th division," Sōsuke gently began.

"I'm glad you think so," I returned, holding back the desire to cackle. "Please, each of you help yourselves with the food. I'll be going over our routine."

None made a move for the food, but that was fine. Sajin and Kaname weren't comfortable enough to do something as relaxing as eating while they were in a meeting with their captain. Sōsuke wouldn't want to stand out too much from his fellow members, so he'd refrain until they were comfortable.

"My division operates a bit differently from the others," I began. "We do take the occasional mission, but our primary task is to handle the more unsavory or difficult missions, such as war or ensuring the balance."

"Ensuring the balance?" Kaname inquired.

"Mm-hmm. It's unlikely we'll need to perform that one for a while longer, so I'll hold off on explaining until the time comes. That being said, all members of the 5th division are required to have a certain level of strength in order to fulfill these tasks," I went on. "As you three currently stand you do not have that level of power. That will be remedied within a year. I'll expect each of you to be able to release a bankai within ten."

"T-Ten years?" Sajin yelped, then froze when he realized he had spoken out of turn.

I cocked my head. "But of course. I have personally trained Genryūsai, Shunsui, and Jūshirō. You three have the potential to match them, or even exceed them. I will train each of you. None of your records stated if you could release your shikai or not."

"Not yet," Kaname admitted softly.

"I cannot," Sajin added.

"Not currently," said Sōsuke.

'Fuck. Can't swap him for vice-captain until he can at least use shikai. Oh well, as soon as he learns it I'll make it official. Shiori could use a break anyway.'

"That will be corrected within a year. We will train four days of the week. Two days will be dedicated to paperwork or a regular mission for experience, and you'll have one day to rest. I need to personally assess how you three operate first. If you're ready, let's begin."

(◕▾◕✿)

"Come on now, minions! Surely you guys can kill hollows faster than that," I encouraged, sitting in the air as I watched the four of them struggle against a few dozen hollows.

To be fair, it was before any of them had reached bankai, and none of them had worked together before.

Which was why I (secretly) snuck them into Hueco Mundo for some good ol' fashion hollow purging.

Not a lot of people knew I could open portals between the multiple worlds in the Bleachverse. Genryūsai would prefer it if I kept that information on the need-to-know basis. He would rather the research team found their own way into Hueco Mundo without having to rely on me.

Apparently, he said I was too fickle.

Me!

What a silly student I had.

Still, I tried not to get on his bad side too often, so I respected his request for the most part. Hence why I had to sneak these fellas here and lie to them about it being a random spot I found in the Soul Society.

Although I don't think Sōsuke believed my lie, he didn't question it (yet).

And now they were fighting off hordes of hollows with the teamwork of bickering teenagers. More than once they nearly bumped into one another, or another was accidentally caught in the crossfire. None of them were hot-headed, so it didn't lead to some hilarious shouting matches, but damn were they petty. Especially Sōsuke.

Poor fluffy boy accidentally used a hadō on Sōsuke, and Sōsuke "accidentally" returned the favor.

'I wish I had brought popcorn,' I thought, watching Kaname accidentally(?) kick a hollow in Sōsuke's way to and use it as a launching pad.

Oof.

Sajin, poor baby, coincidently leapt up as Kaname was leaping up and collided into him. Since Sajin used a lot more force in his lift off, Kaname was sent flying into Sōsuke who then collided hard enough in the ground to leave a crater.

And—yep, that was definitely a glare Sōsuke tossed the apologetic werewolf.

"I know I said that we'd only be here until it was time for dinner," I casually put in, "but change of plans. We're camping out here until ya'll can fight for at least five hours without killing each other."

A moment of stunned disbelief flickered over their faces as they all turned to look at me. There was even a touch of resentment in Sōsuke's eyes that made me want to cackle.

I folded my legs together and blew them a cheeky kiss. "Have fun, minions."

(◕▾◕✿)

Extra from my tumblr after someone asked:

"Oh Blessed Soul King," sighed one of Genryūsai's subordinate.

"NO!" I shouted, throwing that subordinate out of my house. "We do nOT PRAISE ASSHOLES IN THIS HOUSE!"

"Damn it, Teacher, stop killing my subordinates," Genryūsai snickered.

"I didn't kill him. Probably." I paused. "I'll find you a new one, a better one."

He outright laughed at that.

(◕▾◕✿)

We're in the stretch guys! Now the main captains are finally being born. We've got that tantalizing hollowfication incident coming up too, and then... at long last... the main story! Yee-haw.

Answer: Pokemon.

Question: Favorite candy?

Reviews are love!