Nothing could have prepared Olivia for what she heard at that moment. Amanda's heart started to flat line, and all Olivia could think about was how much she loved her, and couldn't lose her. "Please Amanda – stay with me," She screamed, rather hopelessly, as she took Amanda's hand in her own. "She's coding!" called the paramedic closest to her. He tried to get her heart rate back up by trying to stop the blood, which was rushing out, and stabilising her breathing with the oxygen mask. Olivia stared hopelessly as she watched the scene unfold. She had been forced to release Amanda's hand, even though she didn't want to let go. She had to sit back and let them save her – there was nothing for her to do but to hope that she would pull through. She had seen this plenty of times with other victims, but because it was Amanda, Olivia felt like she couldn't breathe. Watching her bleed was bad enough, but hearing the machine telling them that her heart was coding, was enough to make Olivia want to scream. But she had to hold it in – she couldn't break down now, she had to be strong for Amanda when she woke up. Olivia breathed a sigh of relief when Amanda's heart beat finally stabilised, and the machine was beating at a normal pace.

Amanda's eyes flickered open, just as the ambulance pulled into the hospital emergency entrance. She blinked a couple of times, because the light shone brightly in her eyes. She had to think to remember where she was, but as soon as she heard the ambulance doors open, and the sound of the siren turning off, and Olivia breathing a very loud sigh of relief, she remembered that she was heading to the hospital. She had been shot. The oxygen mask she had on her face, which helped her breathing, seemed to help ease the pain – she couldn't feel anything. But she knew it was bad – she could see the look in Olivia's eyes as she was wheeled past her and into the entrance doors. "Olivia?" She whispered, wanting nothing more than to be reassured that everything was going to be alright. She couldn't bear the thought of dying – but she was sure that she would, if they didn't fix her bullet wound soon.

Olivia was following Amanda closely behind the stretcher, when she heard her say her name. "I'm right here, honey, it's going to be okay," Olivia told her, as she moved closer to the stretcher so she could take Amanda's hand. She held her hand until they got to the double doors towards the surgery room, when a nurse stopped her. "Sorry, mam, you can't go past these doors," she told her, but Olivia refused to let go of Amanda's hand. "I want to stay with her, I have to stay with her," Olivia protested, as she didn't want to lose her again. The nurse merely shook her head. "Sorry, mam, but only doctors and nurses can come past here – you have to wait in the waiting room. As soon as she's out of surgery, a doctor will come and talk to you. You have to let her go now, because she's losing too much blood – we need to get the bullet out before it's too late," The nurse explained. When Olivia heard the words 'too late', she let go of Amanda's hand immediately. "Keep her alive," She whispered, as she watched the nurses cart Amanda off into the surgery ward. The doors closed behind them, and Olivia stood there staring, not even noticing Donald Cragen's hand on her shoulder, pulling her towards the waiting room.

It seemed like hours had past – the whole time, Olivia was sitting in a seat, with her head in her hand, and refused to talk to anyone. She ignored everyone – especially those who kept talking about the fact that Amanda was strong enough to pull through. Olivia knew she was strong, and she knew that she would pull through because of it, but it didn't stop her from thinking the worst, and nothing anyone could say would change the fact that Amanda had been shot in the chest, and had lost so much blood, that there was a chance she wouldn't make it. They hadn't seen her – only Nick had seen who much blood she had lost, but he wasn't here. He was being questioned about the shooting. Everyone else from the squad was here – Cragen, Fin, and Munch. They were all waiting patiently, waiting be told by the doctor what fate had in store for Amanda. Olivia could do nothing but keep her head in her hands, and think about nothing but how much she loved Amanda, and hoped that she would see her again, alive.

There was a sudden clearing of the throat, which gained the attention of Olivia. It was a sound she couldn't recognise, so she knew that it was the doctor, coming to give them the news. Olivia immediately stood up, and looked at the doctor anxiously. "Is she alright? Did she make it?" She questioned, hurriedly. The doctor held her hand up to try and stop her questions, and nodded her head, with a smile. "The bullet missed her vital organs – it took us a while to get the bullet out, but we did, and we controlled the bleeding. She had broken ribs, but they weren't from the shooting – neither were the marks on her back, or the bruises all over her body," The doctor explained, rather quietly. She paused for a second; looking from Olivia to the other detectives, then back to Olivia. "We did a rape kit – there was presence of sperm, about three days old. Her virginal area showed proof of abuse, which was why there was a large amount of blood," She told them, rather apologetically. Olivia bit her lip, trying her hardest to try not to cry. Three days. That was the day she had been taken. If only they had found her earlier. If only Olivia had stayed with her that night. If only she never told she had no feelings for her. Maybe if she hadn't, then Amanda would have been able to defend herself against her attackers. Sure they were both dead now, but everything that happened to Amanda will stay with her for the rest of her life – if she had nightmares about her attack from Murphy, how was she going to deal with this? Deal with being raped, beaten, and shot?

"Can I see her?" Olivia questioned, looking at the doctor. The doctor merely shook her head. "Sorry, but she's not ready to be talked too. You have to wait until she's awake. Besides – only family can see her now, visiting hours are over," The doctor explained. Olivia blinked for a second, trying to take it in. Did she think she was just a cop, here to question a victim? "I am her family. I'm her partner," Olivia responded. The doctor merely smiled. "I understand that, but even a cop needs time to recover," She said, quietly. Olivia took a step forward, Cragen watched her carefully, from where he stood. "You don't understand. She's my girlfriend," Olivia spoke, breathing out the word 'girlfriend' slowly, so she would understand it completely. The doctor took a step back, and looked at Olivia curiously. "Oh. Right. Then I suppose it's alright," She said, though her voice seemed rather uncertain. Olivia's heart quickened slightly, fighting the urge to ask her what the problem was – she knew what it. They were both females. That wasn't normal. Olivia didn't care though – all she wanted to do was see Amanda. She pushed past the doctor, and headed towards the ICU unit, and looked in every room, until she found Amanda sleeping on a hospital bed, connected to a bunch of wires, and looking quite a fright. "Oh Amanda," She whispered once again, like she did when she first saw her. She hurried over to the side of the bed, and took her hand, looking down at her apologetically. "I am so sorry... This is my entire fault," She cried, leaning down to kiss Amanda softly on her forehead.

Amanda felt the movement around her. At first she was confused, everything seemed to be a daze – why did she feel like she had been hit with a truck? Then she remembered that she was shot. She wondered if everything was alright now, due to the fact that she could actually sense movement. She opened her eyes slowly, and saw Olivia looking down at her. Olivia looked at her with surprise – she hadn't expected her to wake up so soon after her surgery. Perhaps it was because she could hear her voice – that was the most common reason that she could think of. Amanda glanced at her, unsure on how to react. Was this real? Was everything that happened to her real? Or was she actually dead, and she could only see the outline of Olivia because that was who she was thinking of before she drew her last breath? "Hello beautiful," Olivia said with a smile, as she caressed Amanda's hair. Nope, I'm definitely alive, Amanda thought to herself, smiling ever so slightly at Olivia. "Hi," She whispered, unsure about how to react. She called her beautiful – does that mean she still loved her? "Amanda, I am so sorry about everything, everything that happened was my fault – I shouldn't have left you," Olivia spoke in a hurried voice. Amanda stared at her for a moment, trying to take it all in. Did she mean she shouldn't have broken up with me, or did she mean she shouldn't have left me alone in my apartment, broken hearted? "It's not your fault – you weren't the one who kidnapped me," Amanda said quietly, avoiding Olivia's gaze. She wasn't sure where their relationship lied – but she remembered everything Olivia had said to her, in the ambulance. She had heard everything she had said to her, to try and keep her alive and focused. Did that mean that they were together again? Like nothing happened? Amanda blinked back the tears. She didn't want to cry, because she was in pain, (though she was) but because it was hard to be near Olivia after everything that had happened. Olivia noticed Amanda's reluctance to look at her. It broke her heart, seeing her looking away. It broke her heart even more, that she knew she had caused the tears that were threatening to come out of her eyes. "Amanda, please... What I did was wrong – but I had to do it. I had to say I didn't love you, because I was afraid about what people would think if they found out that we were together," Olivia whispered, taking Amanda's hand in her own. Amanda listened to her carefully, but still refused to look at her. She let her take her hand, but that was because she had craved it for so long, and now she was finally getting it. "What's changed now?" Amanda questioned, wondering if anything had changed at all, or if she was just saying it to make her feel better. "Everything – when you were missing, I realised just how much I loved you. I realised how much I wanted to see you again, hold you again, and tell you how much I love you, over and over. I couldn't bear to lose you, and I am so grateful that I found you when I did. I'll never let you go again, Amanda – I love you with all my heart, and nothing will ever change that," Olivia told her, as turned Amanda's head to make her look at her. "And I will shout it on the roof tops, to let everyone know – I don't care about who knows and what people think. I love you, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. Sorry that I left you in your apartment alone, and I'm sorry for not finding you quick enough," Olivia whispered, now blinking back her own tears. Amanda let Olivia pull her gaze towards her. She took in all her words very carefully, listening to everything that came out of her mouth. "You'll shout it from the roof tops?" Amanda repeated, with an amused smile on her face. At least she could still smile, after everything that had happened. Perhaps it hadn't actually settled in yet, that her life was never going to be the same like it was before. "I'll announce it over the police radio too," Olivia confirmed, with a grin. Amanda laughed ever so slightly. "That won't be necessary – you just have to tell me again, and again," Amanda told her, putting her own hand on Olivia's face. "I love you too," Amanda commented, before placing a hungry kiss upon her lips. She had waited for this for such a long time – it was amazing to be in the same room with her again, it seemed like this time yesterday; she had no hope of ever escaping. But now she was safe, and now she was back with Olivia. Olivia kissed her back, just as hungrily. But she wasn't kissing her too hard, in fear of hurting her. Considering what she had been through, she didn't want her kiss to seem forced; even though Olivia had also waiting a long time to do it.

Amanda pulled back for a second, and looked at Olivia carefully. "I hate to stop this, now, but I need to know – how serious is my injuries?" Amanda questioned, as the tug of her chest caused it to ripple with pain. She winced ever so slightly, which caused Olivia to move back, alarmed. "Not your fault – I just breathed too hard," She told her, with a small reassuring smile. Olivia breathed a sigh of relief – she didn't want to cause Amanda anymore pain than she already had, and even with that, she wished she could make it go away. "The removed the bullet – it missed all your major arteries and organs, thank god. You broke a few bones, so it's going to take a while for you to recover fully," Olivia told her, with an apologetic smile. "You're going to have a few scars on your back – you had some deep gashes," She commented. Amanda sighed. "I knew I was damaged goods the moment I first woke up in that room... I didn't think it would be that bad though," Amanda confessed, feeling rather shocked that she had so many injuries.

"And the other thing?" Amanda questioned, in a mere whisper. She didn't want to say it, but she knew that Olivia would know what she was talking about. This one she was most concerned with – even with pills and other medication, there was a chance she could fall pregnant from her attack – it had been three days, and the window of opportunity to help stop it from occurring, had been long gone. Olivia paused for a second, as she looked at Amanda cautiously. She told victims about their rape kits all the time, confirming whether there was DNA left behind, or if they were wearing a condom when they attacked them, so why was she feeling so guilty about telling Amanda? Was it because it was her girlfriend? Or was it because she blamed herself? "Positive for sperm," Olivia commented, not wanting to say anything else, just in case it really upset her. Amanda took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I was ovulating," She whispered, without opening her eyes. She didn't want to see Olivia's reaction. She knew what the circumstances were about her conception – she knew how personal this situation was to her. Olivia took Amanda's hand reassuringly. "We'll talk about it if something happens," Olivia said quietly, rubbing her thumb over Amanda's hand. "Meanwhile, you need to relax, and get some rest. The doctor was already sceptical about letting me in," Olivia commented with a small roll of her eyes. Amanda looked at Olivia, with a mere smile, glad that she hadn't been outwardly upset about it.

Amanda moved her body ever so slightly, to the side of the bed. It hurt her, but she needed to do it. "Come, sleep with me," Amanda said quietly, though she was smiling. Olivia looked at cautiously. "What if I hurt you?" She questioned, though she took a step forward. Amanda rolled her eyes ever so slightly. "Hurry up – nothing will hurt me more than I am already," She told her, patting down the side of the bed that had enough space for Olivia to lie down next to her. "Okay," Olivia stated, carefully moving her body so she slide next to Amanda. Once she was settled next to her, she took Amanda's hand in her own, and Amanda put her head on her shoulder. "I love you Amanda Rollins, and don't you forget that," Olivia whispered, kissing the top of Amanda's head. Amanda smiled as she closed her eyes. "I love you too," She answered, before finally resting her eyes to sleep.

Amanda hadn't planned her life. She didn't expect to fall in love with her partner nor did she expect to be attacked like she had. Now she just had to wait. Wait and see what her unplanned life brought her  next.

THE END.

A/N: Sorry guys, but that's it. There will hopefully be a sequel to this story .Tell your Rolivia crazed friends about this! (: xx