If someone had told Amanda a couple of years ago, that she would be in a loving relationship with a female colleague, she would have laughed in their face, and tell them to stop dreaming. But of course, if someone had told her this, they would have been right, and if she had listened, she would have been able to find out how she would deal with telling Olivia that she had made her a witness in open court. Amanda didn't know how she would react – what if one of the Lawyers asked what was her relationship with Amanda? What if they asked if they were more than workmates? More than friends? What if they asked were they in a relationship with each other? Amanda had already seen the look on Cragen's face when she blurted out her name in such overwhelming way – had he figured it out by now? Did anyone think what Amanda was thinking?

Amanda wasn't able to see Olivia that day – she had the day off, to take the pressure off of her so she could come back to work the next day, focussed. So instead of going to the precinct after the trail had ended, Amanda returned to her apartment. It felt so empty without Olivia there with her, but Amanda knew she couldn't do anything about it. There weren't a lot of things to do at her house, so she cleaned up everything that needed to be cleaned in the kitchen, the lounge, and her bedroom. It didn't take her long – her apartment was so small, that she had the whole thing cleaned in less than an hour.

Tiredness swept over Amanda as she sat down on the couch after she had finished cleaning. She let out a large, exhausted sigh as she leaned back comfortably. Due to the fact that she hadn't been getting endless nights of sleep for the past three weeks, it seemed that it had caught up with her at that moment. She stared at the blank screen of the TV, barely able to keep her eyes open. They drooped down, and no matter how hard Amanda fought to keep her eyes open, she couldn't. She drifted off to sleep, falling over so she could lie on her couch. It wasn't long until she was in a deep sleep, where she was sure someone would have to break her door down to wake her up.

There was a banging at Amanda's door. It wasn't a quiet one – it was more of one filled with anger. It was a pounding, someone was trying to gain the attention of Amanda, and was going to keep pounding until she opened the door. Amanda thought she was dreaming at first, but then it got more persistent, more louder, so she knew that she had to wake up, before that someone did break down her door. She groaned slightly, as she opened her eyes, and moved her body so she could get up from the couch. Her eyes glanced over to her wall clock, and saw that it was 6 O'clock. Amanda had been asleep for three hours – that was better than nothing, she thought, as she got up and walked over to the door.

"All right, all right, I'm coming," Amanda mumbled, though she had no idea if the person behind the door could hear her, over the loud pounding. Amanda unhooked her chain on her door, and opened it, surprised to see a distressed looking Olivia standing in front of her. "Liv?" Amanda questioned, puzzlingly, as she stood aside to let her lover in. Olivia pushed past her, shoving a folded, blue paper in her hands. Amanda grabbed it, looked at it curiously, before looking back at Olivia. "They work quickly," Amanda muttered, as she shut the door. Olivia shot a glare towards Amanda, before letting out an angry sigh. "I've been summoned to court! What did you tell them?" Olivia questioned her, but by the look on her face, Amanda could tell that she already knew.

"I may, or may have not mentioned your name while I was testifying," Amanda commented, a lot quieter than Olivia had spoken. "I told them that you saw my injuries – they didn't give me time to finish speaking... I would have told them that you were concerned as a fellow colleague, but I guess the way I said it had them thinking other things," Amanda explained, feeling quiet sick. "I have to show up to court tomorrow at nine o'clock. And if they ask what my relationship is with you, I am not going to commit perjury on the stand. I will have to tell them the truth," Olivia told her, a knot starting to form in the bottom of her stomach. They were going to be outed – not only will their relationship be out in the open to the whole of New York (as court recordings are open to the public), but the Police Force would know too. Having a relationship with colleagues was against the rules – it was unethical, unprofessional, their jobs could be on the lines – for Amanda that would be a second time in less than a month. Could things get any worse?

Olivia looked at Amanda carefully – what she was about to do was heart breaking, but there was nothing else she could do. It was best for both of them. "The truth being, that we had a brief relationship after the attack, but it's all over now," Olivia commented, her voice fill of nothing but seriousness. Amanda blinked for a second, unable to comprehend what Olivia had just told her. "What?" Amanda asked, in a mere whisper, her heart pounding just as loud as Olivia had been banging on the door just moments earlier. "You're breaking up with me?" She questioned, trying to get her head around it. "Why?" She whispered, her eyes filling up with tears when Olivia answered her with a mere nod. "I have too – it's the best for both of us. We both knew when we got into this relationship, it had to stay a secret because of the rules – one 1BB find out, I can only imagine what they would do – but I can see IAB coming into this, and for both our jobs and reputations, and pride; ending this is the best option," Olivia explained, her voice less hurtful than it had been just moments before, as she realised how upset Amanda was getting. "Best option for whom? You? I don't care about pride or reputation! You can't help who you fall in love with, Olivia. And I love you! Why should anything else matter?" Amanda asked, taking a step closer to Olivia. "Because... Because my job means more to me than some relationship that we both know won't work. It's not practical. We're both women – it's obscene. It's not love you feel, Rollins – its lust. You're just confused because you were assaulted – a lot of people feel that way after a rape. It's natural," Olivia exclaimed, her eyes lacking any feeling. Amanda blinked at her once more, and took a step backwards. How could she be saying this? Did she not make love to Amanda many times over the last three weeks? Had she not comforted her when she woke up in sweat and tears because of her nightmares? Hadn't she told her multiple times that she loved her back? Why had everything suddenly changed? All because she said her name in court? They might not even ask her about their relationship! "I don't believe you," Amanda whispered, wiping her tears away that had fallen down her cheek. "Well believe it – because that's all it is. There is nothing between us anymore, and I hope you respect that. I will see you at work, after court," She muttered, before turning around and walked out of her door, and her life.

Olivia walked out of Amanda's apartment, her heart breaking as she did so. She knew what she just did was awful, but she had to do it. She had too, for both their sakes. Olivia wished there was something else she could do, but there wasn't. No matter how much she loved the younger woman, it was the best for both of them. She got onto the elevator which was down the end of the hall, just as two men walked out. She smiled politely at them, as they exited, even though all she wanted to do was burst into tears. She sighed slightly as the elevator door closed, symbolising the closing of the relationship she had with Amanda.

Amanda stared at the door for a moment, wishing that she could take back the moment where she shouted Olivia's name to the court. If she hadn't of said anything, then Olivia wouldn't have broken up with her. She let out a small sigh, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to pour out of her eyes. But there was no holding them back – within seconds she bursted into uncontrolling tears. Amanda cried as she moved towards her bedroom. She may have been upset, but she knew she couldn't stand in front of her door forever, and the next best place was in the comfort of her own bedroom. When she got into her room, she looked at her bed, and cried even more, remembering the nights that she had shared with Olivia. Why did she have to do this? Why did she have to break her heart? Amanda climbed onto her bed, burying her head into the pillow that Olivia had been sleeping on for the past couple of weeks. Her scent on it was strong – Amanda was so lost in it. So lost, in fact that she didn't hear her door banging against the wall as it was forced open.

It wasn't until her bedroom door swung open with a loud crash, that Amanda realised someone was in her room. She sat up quickly, just as something hard hit her over the head. She blinked for a second, everything around her starting to fade to black. It didn't take long for her attacker to realise that she was going to pass out, but to make sure he covered her mouth with a cloth – soaked with chloroform. It didn't take long for Amanda to be surrounded by darkness, which allowed her attacks to carry her out of her apartment, and into a black SUV. They weren't gentle with her – the gash on her head was only one of the wounds she was now carrying on her body, she now also wore bruises due to the force her kidnappers had thrown her into the back of the vehicle. "Great, the bitch has gotten blood everywhere – that's gonna take days to clean up," One of her attackers complained, as the other started the car and drove towards their abandoned building.