Chapter Three

Ang matamis na ngisi ni Eura unnie ang nagpakilabot sa akin at nagpabalik sa akin ng lahat ng mga nangyari noong gabi ng pagkakamaling iyon. Mga pangyayaring pinipilit kong kalimutan dahil purong pagkakamali lang lahat.

I was trying to convince myself that it was nothing. One night stand as westerns termed it. But then, my conservative heart couldn't accept the fact that I had lost my innocence that I had preserved in my twenty-six years in this lifetime to a one night stand! Hindi sa ganoong paraan ko inisip na mawawala ang bagay na iyon! I had long cared for it and losing it in just a blur seriously pained me.

Was I even in my right mind and sober state when it had happened? Iyon na nga e! I wasn't drunk! I wasn't dreaming! Dilat na dilat ako noong gabing iyon at aware na aware ako sa mga pinaggagawa niya sa akin, fine, ginagawa namin noong gabing iyon! I could still even feel his soft lips on every forbidden part of my body until now!

And just how dared he appear in front of me like this, like nothing happened at all?! Hindi ba dapat iniiwasan na niya ako?! Because hell, that was my freaking plan! Wala akong balak makipagpormalan sa kaniya pagkatapos ng pagkakamali naming iyon, not even being civil with him! So how could he really appear in front of me like nothing happened?

"Oh, Jeon Jungkook-ssi, you're here!" Natigil si Han Seth sa pag-upo para balingan ang lalaking nakatayo sa tabi ni Eura unnie at matamang nakatitig sa akin, not even blinking, not even hiding it from me and from everyone in our table. From everyone who could see. Shameless!

His chocolate deep eyes that were looking fondly at me that night were now shaded with confusion and vigor as he stared sternly at me. Sa kabila ng lahat ng mga katanungan at gulo sa isipan ko, hindi magkamayaw ang puso ko sa isiping ang lalaking ito ang siyang naka-una sa akin. I might not expect it as good as what we did... but hell, I did not ever think, not even imagine that it would be as gorgeous as him. And he was a kid!

Oh c'mon, the kid you're calling Em is a gorgeous fine and big guy! Don't forget, he pulled heaven down for you... all night that night!

Instantly, I found myself torn between being regretful and grateful. Don't even ask me why I should be grateful! I just consoled myself that at least, I did it with a fine guy—because we all should admit it, Jeon Jeongguk was the most beautiful man I had ever seen— and not just any other jerk out there.

But oh, hey Em, he's a jerk too. Your own personal jerk.

"Congratulations, Han Seth-ssi..."

My trail of thoughts stopped when I heard his natural manly voice; cold and beautiful as he bowed to give respect to Han Seth, since the actor was his senior plus Han Seth was older than him.

"Kamsahamnida, Jeon Jungkook-ssi!" Han Seth answered Jeon Jeongguk giddily before he gently held the little portion at the back of my waist, guiding me to my prepared seat.

"Emi-ah, do you know Jeon Jungkook-ssi, right? He's a member of the famous boy group, BTS," nakangiting sabi sa akin ni Eura unnie para ipakilala ang lalaking tingin niya ay hindi ko kilala. Kung alam lang niya kung ano ang ginawa sa akin ng lalaking iyan noong gabing iyon.

Pinigilan ko ang mapangiti nang makita ko kung paanong sinundan niya ng tingin ang kamay ni Han Seth na nasa baywang ko. I didn't know but my heart unknowingly feasted when I saw how his jaw clenched hardly after that and his chocolate deep eyes turned darker. I couldn't be hyping up just because I saw how he got silently furious with how Han Seth was holding me. Siyempre hindi. Natutuwa lang talaga akong nagagawa ko siyang inisin kahit na wala pa akong ginagawa.

Oh, I would love to see him get pissed off, or better yet, angry. How could I make a Jeon Jeongguk furiously mad? Hm, I wanted to know and try.

"Of course, manager unnie! He... he's an acquaintance." Nagkibit-balikat ako para ipakitang wala akong interest sa lalaking iyan saka palihim na ngumisi. Sunod ay muli akong bumaling kay Jeon Jeongguk na ngayon ay sa mukha ko na nakatitig. Tipid akong ngumiti sa kaniya. "Thanks for coming," simple kong sabi at naupo na ako sa upuang hinila sa akin ni Han Seth at nginitian ko ang mga taong nasa mesa.

Kung pag-arte lang naman, well, I was a pro. I could show him that what had happened between the two of us was just really a one night stand. Kaya kong umarteng wala lang sa akin ang pangyayaring iyon kahit na sa loob-loob ko, sinusumpa ko na siya. I would show him that what had happened between us that night wasn't affecting me.

Oo't walang minutong hindi ako ginulo ng ala-ala ng gabing iyon, pero hindi na niya kailangan pang malaman iyon.

"Oh, thanks for coming, Jeon Jungkook-ssi! Emi can't just thank you enough. I hope you understand her." Narinig ko ang boses ni Eura unnie sa likod ko kaya nalaman kong hindi pa rin siya umaalis.

Why was he even here?! Sinong nag-invite sa kaniya? Don't tell me, nandito rin ang mga ka-grupo niya? It was fine with me, pero kay Hanselle... hindi ko ikatutuwa kung magkikita sila ni Park Jimin.

"It's fine, Kim Eura-ssi. I'll be going then. My group is just around." His deep manly voice couldn't just give justice to my sweet moans and calls for his name that night, even if it had happened nights ago.

Just what the hell...? I needed a peace of mind! And see! Nandito nga ang buong BTS! Sinong nag-invite sa kanila?! I should have listed them as people uninvited!

Hindi na ako lumingon pa para alamin kung umalis na ba siya o kung saan mang impyerno siya nagtungo. Oh my bad, he was a Lucifer, that was why. Hanggang sa lumalim ang gabi ay hindi ko na inalam pa kung nasaan siya. Kung minsan ay nililisan ko ang mesa namin para magtungo sa mesa nina Evah.

Naroon sila nina Aly, Hanselle, Bien and Chan. Dama ko ang tingin ng mga tao kapag nagagawi ako sa mesa nila. Marahil confused ang lahat sa real score between Bien and Hanselle, plus, Chan was an important variable in the picture. At kung nandito nga ang BTS, I wanted Park Jimin to see what he had lost. Nandito iyong mga taong pinakawalan niya noon. Nandito iyong mga taong sana ay pamilya na niya ngayon.

I wanted him to realize that what he had lost couldn't give back to him anymore... dahil pag-aari na sila ng ibang tao. Taong mas karapat-dapat kaysa sa kaniya.

Napatingin ako kay Chan na ngayon ay tahimik na naka-upo sa upuan niya. Nililinis ni Bien ang mga kamay niyang puno ng chocolates. Mabuti na lang at hindi nadumihan ang mukha niya dahil talaga namang hindi niya pinalagpas ang paborito niya.

I smiled softly while staring at her. How precious... gagawin ko talaga ang lahat para sa batang ito.

"Come here, baby girl, let me fix your crown." I sweet talked Chan when I saw the little crown on her head got dislocated.

Bumaba siya sa upuan niya, with the help of her Uncle Bien, at nagtungo sa akin. "Tita Em, the guy with you earlier, is he your boyfie?" untag niya sa akin nang makalapit siya habang tinitingala ako, mabagal na pumipikit ang pares ng mga maliliit niyang mata at napaka-inosente.

Hanselle immediately frowned upon hearing her baby girl's question and turned gravely to Bien who just shrugged his shoulder.

I chuckled at her question. Saan naman kaya natutunan ng batang ito ang tungkol doon? I bet from Bien since she was so close to the former idol and they would often have talks only to themselves. Si Han Seth ang tinutukoy niya dahil bukod sa kanina ko pa ito kasama, dinala ko rin siya sa mesang ito kanina para ipakilala.

Hinawakan ko ang maliit na silver crown sa ulo niya para ayusin. "He's just my colleague, Chanie. You want another chocolate balls? Let's go get another bowl," sagot ko sa tanong niya. At nang matapos kong ayusin ang korona niya ay tumayo na ako habang hawak ang maliit niyang kamay nang makita ko ang kislap sa mga mata niya dahil sa pagbanggit ko ng chocolates, her favourite.

Even how the simple sparkling of her eyes made her even more adorable and lovable!

"Em, siya lang ang naka-ubos nitong dalawang bowls ng chocolate balls dito. She'd cry for a toothache later, you'll see," saway sa akin ni Hanselle pero alam kong labas sa ilong iyon. She couldn't say no to her daughter. Never. I meant, not from this simple thing.

"Let's just bring her to her dentist, Seol. Let's get her teeth checked after this event," saway naman ni Bien kay Hanselle. Isa rin itong hindi kayang tanggihan ang bawat luho ni Chan.

Park Hyechan was seriously surrounded with people spoiling her and giving all her caprices. Hindi na talaga ako magtataka kung lalaki siyang spoiled but then, we always gave her life lessons so that she wouldn't grow mean and bad.

Natawa kami nina Evah at Aly nang umirap lang si Hanselle at itinuon na lang ang atensyon niya sa inumin pero nakita ko kung paanong pabirong inabot ni Bien ang kamay niya at hinalikan. The huffing woman instantly puller her hand away from Bien and kiddingly hit his shoulder. Seriously, bakit kaya hindi na lang sila magpakasal? They looked so in love!

Chan and I, hand in hand, went to the buffet table to take her pleasure. Kumuha ako ng isang platito at pinuno ito ng mga chocolate balls na nasa pyramid glass kung nasaan naroon ang mga ito. I gave her the saucer full of chocolate balls after.

"Take it easy, okay?" sabi ko sa kaniya habang nagsasalin naman ako ng ilang cucumbers mula sa platter ng salad sa isa pang platito. It was for me.

"Okay, Tita Em," masunuring sagot niya habang tumatango at binigyan ako ng matamis na ngiti.

Oh, look at this adorable little chipmunk!

"Good girl, baby girl." Muli ko nang hinawakan ang kamay niya at akmang aalis na nang mahagip ng tingin ko ang isang transparent bowl na puno ng pulang malapot na likido. I gulped hard as I imagined these cucumbers being dipped into those. Pakiramdam ko, maglalaway ako kapag hindi ko iyon nagawa. Gusto kong subukan kaya saglit kong binitiwan si Chan at akmang babalik sa mesa nang mapahinto ako dahil sa paglitaw ng dalawang pigura ng tao sa gilid ng mga mata ko.

"What do you want, oppa?"

I turned my head to their direction only to see Park Jimin and Kang Sally just a meter from us. Mukhang kukuha na rin sila ng makakain. If that was the case then, fine, I didn't give a damn. Ngunit ang nagpakaba sa akin ay nang makita kong mariing nakatitig si Park Jimin sa batang ngayon ay paunti-unti ng dinudutdot ang chocolates sa bowl na hawak niya.

I gritted my teeth in irritation. Wala siyang karapatang titigan ng ganyan si Chan! I could even read his mind. I could see both confusion and amazement mirroring his pair of small eyes while looking at the child. Oh, the resemblance was undeniably so strong but then, I would punch him right straight on the face if he would ever assume, or just would think that Chan was his daughter. He had no rights. Never. Masaya na pareho si Hanselle at Chan kay Bien. They didn't need a jerk like him in their lives anymore.

"Baby, let's go now. Your parents are waiting," malumanay kong sabi bago ko inabot ang kamay ni Chan na pinangdudutdot niya sa chocolates. That was why Hanselle had removed her gloves earlier. Hindi naman kasi puwedeng kumain ang batang ito habang naka-gloves.

Hindi ko na muling nilingon pa ang dalawa. Magsama sila. Sobrang sariwa pa sa ala-ala ko kung paano nilang niloko si Hanselle. I had thought Park Jimin was good for Hanselle. I had thought he was the man for her. Nagkamali ako, nagkamali kaming lahat.

It had happened years ago but I couldn't forget. Kasi nasa iisang lugar lang kami. We often saw each other. Hanselle might forget, she might move on and she might get over what happened but not me... hinding-hindi ako makakalimot.

Not when I had been damaged too.

"Wala kang trabaho, I mean, wala kang schedules? Ilang araw na iyan ah? I can't believe the great Emi is now idling at my office because of her loose— that's always been a tight schedule." Nagtatakang tingin ang ipinukol sa akin ni Evah na naka-upo sa swivel chair niya sa likod ng mesa niya rito sa opisina niya sa Eve's Seoul.

My own table was just across her table, hers was filled with a lot of stuff that could tell that she was busier than me. Hindi naman ako madalas dito noon kaya wala akong office dito, isa pa, Evah's office was too big for herself alone. Puwede kaming mag-share, noon nga ay tatlo kami rito noong hindi pa naitatayo ang Eve's Incheon.

Humikab ako at unti-unting nilaglag ang katawan ko pahiga sa couch na kinauupuan ko. The couch's armrest catching my head as I made myself comfortable. Late na ako nagising kanina at late na rin akong nakapunta rito sa office kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit antok na antok pa rin ako. I had slept late last night so maybe that was why.

"Evah, gawan mo naman ako ng sariling office dito oh. Iyong may personal taste ng pagkatao ko. Hm, I want it blue in motif since Aly has her office motif in red..." Muli akong humikab dahil ramdam na ramdam ko na ang pamimigat ng talukap ng mga mata ko, nasabi ko lang iyon malamang dahil sa sobrang antok. Snickering Evah was the last thing I saw before I drifted to sleep.

Lumipas na ang isang buong linggo mula noong gabi ng premiere night. I had a meeting with my big bosses the next day and luckily, just as I planned, they didn't do anything against my decision. Itinuturing pa rin nila akong isang mabentang artista kaya mabilis silang pumayag sa gusto ko.

"I'm sure, Emi-ssi's decision will change. Why don't we give her what she wants for now? She'll come back anyway." Ang confident na sabi ni Oh Jang Guk PD-nim habang naka-upo sa kabisera ng mahabang mesang kinaroroonan namin.

There were at least three big bosses inside the meeting room including the president, Oh Jang Guk-ssi and my team. Magandang timing din na wala akong inaprubahang schedules sa mga susunod na araw kung hindi ay magagamit pa sa akin ni Oh PD-nim ang mga iyon para mag-renew ng kontrata.

Nagkibit-balikat ako nang nilingon ako ni Eura unnie na para bang ganoon nga ang inaasahan niya. They thought I was just having my spur of a moment. Akala nila, panandaliang desisyon lang ito at magbabago din ang desisyon ko. That was what I had thought too but after what had happened the last last, very last night, I didn't think I could still afford to cross paths with Jeon Jeongguk.

At ang trabaho ko ang pinaka-ugat kung bakit madalas magtagpo ang mga landas namin sa loob ng limang taong sinubukan kong umiwas. At oo, ipu-push ko na ang pag-iwas ko kay Jeon Jeongguk sa pinaka-highest level.

I would leave my career... I would, just to avoid him.

"Emi-ssi, the contract is always available. You're always welcome in the company. Just find me if you happened to change your mind." Nakangiti ng matamis si Oh PD-nim ngunit kitang-kita ko ang pag-asang sumasalamin sa singkit niyang mga mata.

This man, he was once so determined about me. Siya ang mismong nag-offer sa akin ng kontrata sa HIT noong unang beses niya akong makita sa teatro. He had never doubted my talent. At nagpapasalamat ako sa kaniya dahil doon. I just couldn't thank him enough and I swore, if I would ever go back to this field, if ever, I wouldn't go far from what I was used to.

Dito at dito ako babalik.

Tumayo ako, at sa harap nilang lahat, yumuko ako sa harap ni Oh PD-nim, my body bending like an inverted 90-degree angle to show both gratitude and respect to the man who had trusted me and didn't doubt my ability ever since the beginning of my journey up to this very end.

"Thank you so much, Oh PD-nim." I told him gratifyingly and sincerely.

At least, it wasn't so hard as I had thought.

Bumuntong-hininga si Evah matapos niyang maka-usap si Hanselle through phone. I just stared at her while sitting on my table just across her table near the door as I awaited for her to spill whatever it was.

We always got ourselves involved when it came to Hanselle's life because she was just too naive in life. May mga desisyon siya sa buhay na talaga namang hindi makakabuti para sa kaniya at hanggang ngayon ay ganoon pa rin. We all knew that she was still having confusions in her life, one of it was Bien. She couldn't just fully accept the man yet. She still didn't realize that she was meant for Bien, she and her daughter were meant for Byun Bien.

"Akala ko ay tuluyan na niyang nakalimutan ang tungkol sa araw na ito," aniya habang hinihilot ang sentido niya na tipong stress na stress sa mga pangyayari.

"Oh, ano ba sabi?" untag ko sabay sulyap sa desktop screen ko kung nasaan ang ilang images ng mga pagkaing kinatatakaman ko these past few days.

"She asked me to send Chan to Busan, to her grandparents. Ayaw niyang pagbiyahe-in pa patungo rito yung mga in-laws niya para roon sa bata," paliwanag niya.

Napanguso ako nang banggitin niya ang salitang in-laws pero dahil sa koneksyon ni Chan sa mga ito, iyon na ang nakasanayan namin. Beause maybe not legally, but biologically, they were in-laws.

"You don't want to? Gusto mo ako maghatid?" I asked her, still looking at the images. Napapalunok ako sa tuwing nadadako ang mga mata ko sa imaheng cucumber na naka-dip sa ketchup.

"It's not like that. Wala akong hindi gagawin para kay Chan, it's just that, I'm still not so fine with their setup with the Parks," aniya sa mahinang tinig.

Mabilis ko siyang nilingon dahil sa sinabi niya. Kunot ang noo niya at mariing nakatitig sa desktop screen niya na tanging ang likod lang nitong may logo ng sikat na brand ang nakikita ko.

"Or just because you're afraid of the possibility we're all avoiding to happen." Bumuntong-hininga ako at sumandal sa swivel chair ko. Pinakatitigan ko siya dahil sa ala-alang sumagi sa isipan ko. I had constructed reasons for it, explanations for it but I was still very confused.

"Above all of us, si Hanselle ang pinaka-nasaktan," she muttered absentmindedly that confused me even more.

Oo, nasaktan kaming lahat, maging si Evah kahit na wala naman siyang direct attachment sa kahit na sino sa grupong iyon pero masyadong malalim ang inis na ipinapakita niya noon pa... now, that only rose up my suspicions. Naiintindihan ko ring dahil mga kaibigan niya kami at sobra siyang nag-aalala sa mga nararamdaman namin, but for someone who wasn't directly and personally attached to those people, she was surely so affected.

"It's all in the past, Evah. I'm sure, nakalimot na si Hanselle ngayon. Well..." I supposedly stopped and intently watched her expression. Every crease of her forehead and every purse of her lips, I watched it all. "As long as possible, ayaw kong magkaharap sina Chan at Jimin, the guy doesn't deserve my niece." Pagpapatuloy ko habang nakatitig pa rin sa kaniya.

"What if they cross paths? Hanselle will be devastated." She sighed deeply.

Of course, she would. Ang pinakahuling gugustuhing mangyari ni Hanselle ngayon ay ang magkatagpo sina Chan at Park Jimin.

"Anyway, napag-isipan mo na ba yung request ko? I want an office, you know, kung saan ako puwedeng matulog..." Humikab ako at sinubukang itaboy mula sa isipan ko ang mga suspicions ko tungkol kay Evah. Sinulyapan ko ang beige colored couch kung nasaan ang dalawang pares ng bilog na throw pillows na tipong kaysarap yakapin habang nakahiga ako roon sa couch.

I also wanted a couch in my own office, if it might, I wanted a bed too. Oh, shocks. I could feel my eyes getting heavy!

"Kung gusto mo matulog, umuwi ka na lang sa bahay, Em," ani Evah na itinoon na ang buong atensyon sa desktop para magtrabaho.

I tried to get back to work but I always got dragged back to the images I was fantasizing earlier. Paulit-ulit akong napalalunok at napapa-ayos ng upo sa upuan ko. And when I remembered the bottle of ketchup inside the refrigerator at the pantry, I had decided. Kakain ako.

"Evah, gusto mo magmeryenda? May mga extra vegetables ba sa pantry? Gusto mo ipag-mix kita ng vegetables?" I offered her when I saw my desktop screen and once again, my cravings tortured my taste buds at the sight of the mouth-watering images.

Gusto ko talaga ng cucumbers tapos ketchup!

"Thanks," tanging sabi na lang niyang hindi ako nililingon.

I shrugged at that. Our boss was super busy as she was but then, I was happy for her. This was her dreams. Before, I was just walking with her while slowly reaching her dreams and now, I was with her at the top. I was so happy for her.

"Here," I said as I handed her the bowl of vegetables salad she loved so much. She was too fit actually. Puwede ko na ngang sabihing vegetarian siya, only that, kumakain din siya ng meats occasionally.

"Just put it there," aniyang hindi pa rin ako nililingon ngunit inginuso sa akin ang mesa niya. Iniwan ko siyang nakatutok sa screen at nadatnan ko siyang nakatutok pa rin.

Ngumuso ako at pinakatitigan siya. Now that I was seeing her this busy, this serious and this focused, just, that something just had to pop out my mind again. Something... I had to set aside for awhile but then, now that she was like this, I was confused yet again. Sa sobrang busy niya, sa sobrang workaholic niya, hindi ko na maiisip pang magagawa niyang isingit ang bagay na iyon sa buhay niya. And I understood why she chose to hide it from us. Ang hindi ko maintindihan, bakit ang taong iyon pa? Did she even think of us? Did she even consider the past we had? Did she even contemplate what we would feel about it?

"Evah..." I called her as I remained standing in front of her table while holding the bowl full of cucumbers topped with ketchup. Ginusto kong kalimutan. I was even willing to wait till she could open up to us but then I just had to ask this. To calm my insides. To clear my confusions.

"Hm?" She remained focused on her desktop screen, probably studying the Eve's weekly inventory and expenses, or probably reading some online home-eco magazines.

Bumuntong-hininga ako. I needed to ask this. I needed an explanation from her other than the explanations I had provided in my mind for her, for my own peace of mind. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa platito.

"Since when did you start dating Kim Namjoon?"