October 6th 2017

Taylors Pov

It was a gloomy and misty October morning, I was sipping my coffee, while Emilie was still asleep as my phone went off. A smile made its way to my lips as I saw the Caller ID. "Hey." I talked quietly in hopes to not wake Emilie up. "Hello love." Joe's deep voice made me smile. "I'm on my way to the airport. You still think it is a good idea for me to come?" I could hear the insecurity and anxiety in his voice, but I just smiled.

"Joe she'll love you. Relax." "Should I get her anything or maybe do something for her?" He continued with his nervous rambling and I chuckled a little bit. Joe and I had met a while back and we had been dating for almost a year, with one major thing still between us. Emilie hadn't met him.

In the beginning she wasn't with me and then after I adopted her I just wanted to make sure  it was a long term thing before I introduced her to someone, who would play such a big part in her life.

Joe on the other hand knew everything about her. I had called him at least twice a week and told him about her, my concerns of failing her as a mother and all the things we did together. So hearing him ramble about being nervous to disappoint Emilie was slightly amusing. 

"Joe relax. She's a lovely little five year old. She'll be happy to get to know you, as long as you don't scare her or ask about her past a lot you'll be fine. And if you want to get her something than maybe a book, maybe something you two can read together. She loves it when people read to her, but she won't expect anything."

I heard some rustling on the  other side. "I know I just want her to like me. She means the world to you."  I smiled a little. "She does, but she'll like you. Don't worry. Now get your pretty self on the airplane and come here. I really miss you." I heard him laugh and my smile widened. "I miss you too. I'll text you when I land." 
He had been in Canada for a role in a movie.

So he'd fly over from Montreal and be here around noon. Emilie still didn't know about him coming but she'd find out as soon as I had the guts and the right words to tell her, but hearing the small footsteps in the hallway I knew I didn't have much time left.

Just as expected, a still sleepy looking Emilie came into my view. Still in her Pj's and a really bad bed head. She walked towards me and climbed onto the couch next to me before cuddling into my side. I quickly put my coffee down so I wouldn't accidentally spill some and hurt her. 

"Morning Mommy." She mumbled, while closing her eyes and almost falling asleep again. "Good Morning my love." I said and pulled her onto my lap. She smiled and cuddled into me, closing her eyes. "Hey hunny, no falling asleep again today. We've got a lot to do today."

I could feel her moving a little before her big blue eyes looked up into mine.
"Like what?" I had to hide a smile. "Well miss sassy pants. We have your school work and we have a guest coming over." Now she looked excited and at least a little more awake.

"Who's coming? Auntie Selly?" She asked and beamed up at me with hope in her eyes, Selena hadn't come over in a little while, since she was still in the hospital after she received her transplant.

I had told Emilie that her Auntie was sick and we had visited her, but Emilie was a little to young to understand how sick Selena really was. So I really understood that she wanted her to come over.

"No, not Auntie Selly. A new friend." I started to think about how to explain Joe's position in my life. "You know how some grown ups have someone that they love very much. Like my mom and dad." She nodded, but looked a little worried, so I gave her a small kiss on the forehead. "So there's someone I have met a while ago and I really really like them and I want you to meet them."

She looked down at her hands and I could basically feel the sadness rolling off of her. "Emi what's going on in your head?" She looked up and I could see the worry and fear in her face. 

"What if he doesn't like me and you won't want me anymore cause you want a real baby. Your own baby with him. And have a real family." I smiled at her pulling her close to my chest. "So first of all he'll love you and second of all I will always want you. You're my little baby, so don't worry." I kissed her on top of her head. "Promise?" "Promise." I whispered back while gently rocking us back and forth. 
"Now what do you think about breakfast?" It was easy to distract Emilie from worrying till Joe arrived. So while we were waiting we made some cupcakes and then read together. When my phone went off, with a special ringtone, I knew Joe was on his way to my apartment. 

"Emilie. How about you get dressed? Our guest should be here soon." She looked worried and bit down on her lower lip. 

I just picked her to sit down on my lap and kissed her hair again. "It'll be alright. I promise you. Now go get dressed in one of your  pretty dresses. What do you think?" She nodded but looked up at me again. "Can you make my hair and put make up on me, so I am really pretty?" 

"I can make your hair and if you want we can put some lip gloss, but I won't put any more makeup on your pretty little face. You're only five and way too pretty to wear a full face of makeup." 
She scrunched up her face in confusion but nodded in agreement.

"Okay mommy. I'll go get dressed." She got up from my lap and ran towards her room. I heard her rustling through her clothes and singing a little made up tune. When she came back to the living room she was wearing a brown blouse with white dots and a green dress over it. She was wearing white tights underneath and held two red ribbons in her hand. 

"Can you do my hair please?" Emilie looked at me and I nodded, taking the ribbons from her. She sat down on the little stool and I started to brush out her hair. "What kind of hairstyle do you want, Miss Emilie?" 
She shrugged. "I don't care. Just a pretty one. Please." 

"Alright." I started to braid her hair and put it up into two messy buns, both braided from the front, before securing them with the red ribbons. "There you go. What do you think?" I handed her my phone on the mirror app so she could see herself. 

"That's so pretty Mommy. Can we put on makeup now?" I shook my head. Picking her up and setting her on my hip. "Lip Gloss, honey, not makeup." She pouted looking at me, but I just shook my head up, giving her a kiss on the head. In my room I picked out a clear gloss that would just glitter a little and helped Emilie to put some on. 

"Look mommy now I am really pretty." She beamed at me. "Baby you were already pretty before and if you ask me you really don't need any makeup." She smiled and looked up at me. "You're pretty too Mommy." I smiled back at her and kissed her on the hair. "Thank you baby." 

Then we heard the doorbell. She looked at me worried and I took her hand to walk towards the door together. 
"Mommy I'm scared." She mumbled next to me when we had reached the door. I kneeled down and kissed her on the forehead and looked in her eyes.

"Emilie I promise you there's nothing to be scared off. Okay? I love you so much and nothing will change that." She nodded a little and let me open the door. Joe was standing there. A black little suitcase next to him and a backpack on his back. But his blue eyes shined and he was smiling at me. 

"Hey." I hugged him and closed my eyes for a second just enjoying him being here and letting him hold me for a short moment. "Hey Taylor." He said back before giving me a quick peek on the lips, then he let go of me and looked at the little girl standing next to me.

"You must be Emilie, am I right?"  He asked and Emilie nodded carefully. She held out her hand. He smiled and shook her hand. "Hello darling. I am Joe. Your mom has told me a lot about you." She looked up at me and I gave her a short smile. "Hey Joe, it's nice to meet you." He was still smiling at her. 

"How about we go inside and I prepare some lunch? Emilie, maybe you can show Joe to the guest room." She nodded and held out her hand to the man, who took it.

"Alright mommy." She gently pulled Joe behind her, while I walked to the kitchen and prepared a small fruit salad and grilled cheese. I heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen and soon enough my daughter came in holding the hand of the love of my life, telling him about what she learned the other day watching a documentary about England with me. Asking him all about monarchy and the queen. I watched as Joe listened to the rambling off my little girl, nodding every now and then, answering the few questions she had.

"And the queen? Does she really live in a castle?" She tried climbing onto the chair, but failed since it was a high chair and she was too small and not fully concentrating on it, while talking to Joe. I was about to walk over to help her but Joe was faster. "Emilie. Darling, would it be okay if I'd help you on the chair?" She hesitated but then nodded, so he picked her up and set her down on the chair. 

"Thank you Joe." She smiled up at him. 
"You're very welcome Emilie." He smiled back down at her. "Taylor, love, do you need help setting the table?" He asked me, walking over towards me. I felt him putting his hands on my hips and gently turning me around to look me in the eyes. I smiled at him, before giving him a soft kiss. 

"If you want to, you can help, but you don't need to." He just smiled down at me and started setting the table while I carried the food over. The three of us started to eat our food while Joe told us about Canada and the movie. Emilie seemed to like him, she was smiling and didn't seem to mind that he was around. 

"What do you want to do today?" I asked the two smiling. Eating the last bit off my grilled cheese. Joe looked at Emilie to see if she knew what she wanted to do, but she was just looking at him, her teeth biting her lower lip as if she was scared to say the wrong thing. "We can do whatever you want Emilie." He said trying to make her feel comfortable.

"Can we carve pumpkins please? We can pick them out in a pumpkin field and carve them." She was smiling and I smiled at her, before looking at Joe, but he was already nodding. "Sounds good to me. Love?" I nodded as well. 

Emilie was beaming up at me. She looked so happy and I suddenly felt bad that I rarely took her out to parks or other places. 

"Alright then let's get ready." Together we cleaned up and Joe quickly got changed into something a little more weather appropriate. 

"Alright girls, we can go." He came in wearing jeans, a white long sleeved shirt and a red lumberjack shirt. I smiled at him and Emilie jumped up and down in her brown leather boots as we walked downstairs to the car one of our security guards had gotten. 

"Are there bugmen outside?" Emilie asked me, taking my hand and looking up at me. 

"I don't know baby but it'll be okay." Luckily for us there wasn't any paparazzi outside, just a small group of fans that wanted pictures. "Baby. Joe is gonna take you to the car okay?" She nodded and I handed her to him and she quickly hid her face in his chest. 
"Hey it is so nice to meet you." I said and hugged the girls. They smiled and I took pictures with them. 

I joined Joe and Emilie in the car, Emilie already strapped in her kids seat and Joe sitting in the passenger's seat. I started driving, the car of our security guards following right behind us. 

"Can we listen to some of your music?" Emilie asked and I smiled, looking at Joe who just nodded. 

"Which one?" I asked her and she smiled. "Can we hear the one I helped with?" I smiled, it would also be the first time Joe would hear Gorgeous. "Alright. Joe, can you please open my phone? The pass code is Emilies Birthday which is the" "20th of August 2012. I know." Joe said, making me look at him.

"Right uhm the phone should be connected and the song is in my files, then in the file called Rep it's secured with a password but that's the date we first met. And then track Number eight." A few seconds later Emilies little voice filled the car. Saying Gorgeous. Joe smiled at me as the chorus started to fill the car and he gently placed his hand on mine. 

We let the rest of the songs play till we reached the pumpkin field. The three of us got out of the car and Joe held his hand out for me, which I immediately took. Emilie was running towards the entry of the small family farm. 

"Just asking." Joe said quietly. "I'm not sleeping in the guest room right?" I chuckled and smiled at him. "Well if you don't want to sleep alone I guess we could arrange that." He smiled and put his arm around my hip, I smiled back at him and we shared a sweet kiss.

"Mommy can we go in now?" I heard my little girl and Joe let go of me. Emilie was standing near the entrance looking over. "Of course darling." 

"Two grownups and one kid under ten, please." Joe said and before I could pull out my money he paid the nine dollars. The guy behind the counter handed him one dollar and a map of the small farm. Right behind the small counter was a little fair with just a small merry-go-round, ferris wheel and a few booths with games.

According to the map the pumpkin patch was to the left, then to the right was a petting zoo and right across from the entry you could go on a hayride. 
"Look mommy." She seemed so excited, Joe and I both smiled. "What do you wanna do first, darling?" Joe asked her, she looked around until she pointed towards the merry-go-round. "Can I go on there?" 

We both nodded and Emilie ran towards the merry-go-round climbing on one of the small wooden horses. We watched the ride begin and every time she saw us she waved.

I took some pictures of her, while Joe pulled me close to his chest and put his head on my shoulder, while gently swaying us back and forth in the rhythm of the music playing in the background.

We watched as Emilie got off the ride and ran towards us. Joe let go off me and I catched Emilie, picking her up. 
"Can we play some games?" The two of us nodded our head, smiling at her. We went over to the first booth, which was milk bottle knockdown. Emilie started playing the game and managed to knockover two of the bottles and won a small little Teddy bear.

Before we went to the next booth. It was one if those games were you had to throw darts at balloons to make them pop. The prizes were hanging all around the booth including a really big unicorn plushies with rainbow hair. I didn't even have to look to know that Emilies eyes were big and she really wanted it. 

"Look mommy. That unicorn is really pretty. Can we try to get it?" "Sure thing." Emilie tried to win it but to win one of the big stuffed animals you needed 13 hits and she only got five.  

"Hey I want to try please." Joe handed the man another five dollar bill and got the 15 darts. He looked really concentrated as he started throwing the darts and he really did it. He hit 14 out of 15. The men took the unicorn down and as Joe handed to Emilie she was beaming. "There you go darling."

Emilie cuddled the unicorn close to her chest and smiled at him. "Thank you so much." Joe smiled back at her and I felt my heart flutter. This man didn't only love and support me through my worst, but he also adored my child and I could see the happiness in his eyes as she was laughing.

"Come darling let's go to the hayride." He took her hand as he smiled back at me. We got to the small road where you could go on the hayride. It was an old tractor with a trailor attached to it inside the trailor hay and some cushions. Joe talked to the driver, before he gave us the go to climb in.

I went first and Joe helped Emilie climb in and I pulled her into my lap, moving into the cushions. Joe climbed in as well and sat dow  next to us. 

"Are you girls ready?" He asked. "Yeah. This is fun." Emilie said smiling. She was holding her new toy to her chest. I moved so I was sitting closer to Joe and leaned my head onto his shoulder, while I felt his arm wrap around my body.

"Emilie is right this is a great day." I said smiling at him before looking down at the girl in my arms.

She was smiling and as soon as the tractor started to drive and we moved and we were basically jumping up and down because of the uneven road she was giggling and laughing. I watched Emilie until I felt a kiss on my hair. Joe was smiling at me and I smiled back at him.

Emilie had moved from my lap and to the middle of the small trailor to play in the hay and Joe and I were just sitting there and watching her. "You think she likes me?" He asked quietly and I chuckled a little.

"Yeah she does. I think after the unicorn you're probably in the top ten of her favorite persons and I also she was really really nervous that you wouldn't like her." I answered him. He looked surprised. "Really why that?" I tightened my grip on his hand.

"She was worried that if you wouldn't like her I'd give her away to have a real family with you and a baby of my own." I explained leaning into him. "Maybe this is to early for her?" He asked worried, but I shook my head.

"We can't keep this a secret from her any longer and she will get used to it. She likes you and once she knows that you like her as well she'll be okay and until then I'll reassure whenever she needs it. After all she is my baby." He smiled at me and nodded. "You're amazing Tay. You really are." I smiled and gave him a soft kiss, before leaning into him. He held me close to his chest smiling down at me. 

"Mommy look I can jump really high." Emilie giggled and jumped into the hay making her covered into a small pile of hay she had created. I smiled at her and opened my arms for her. She smiled and jumped into my arms cuddling into me, before looking at Joe who still had his arms around me, but instead of saying something she just smiled. 

We just sat there together and watched the autumn leafs fall from the small trees and the kids running around on the small farm. The animals in there small enclosures.

"After we are finished let's get pumpkins and go home okay? It's getting cold and we made some cupcakes that still wait to be finished." I told them and Emilie nodded happily, while Joe just shrugged agreeing. 

Shortly after the hayride stopped and we got out. Meaning Joe climbed out first before picking Emilie up and then holding his hand out to me. I took it and jumped down.

"Well thank you." "Anything for you miss." He smirked at me and I giggled. 
He took my hand and Emilie skipped in front of us. We got to the pumpkin patch and one of the workers stopped us.

"Hey are you guys here to pick out some pumpkins?" Emilie nodded happily. "Alright. So you go and pick any pumpkin you want, than you come here and we weigh them. Then you can pay over there. Okay?" We nodded and Emilie started to run. 

We walked around the patch for awhile until we found some really big pumpkins. Emilie sat down on one of them. "Mommy. Can you take a picture?" I nodded and Emilie started modeling for some pictures. Joe on the other hand started to look for some more Pumpkins. "What do you think about this one?" He was holding a medium big really pretty orange one up. Emilie nodded happily. "Yeah that's good. What about this one?" She held a little smaller one up and I nodded agreeing, while looking for my own little pumpkin, which didn't take long.

I found a medium sized one, similar to Joe's that I liked and picked it up. 
"Now let's go pay. Emilie, do you want me to carry yours?" Joe asked, but she shook her head and started to carry the pumpkin towards the scale. She was struggling but eventually managed to get the pumpkin on the scale.

After the nice man had weighed all of our pumpkins he handed me a small paper with the weights that we should give the guy at the booth to pay. In total we paid a total of 13 dollars. Half a dollar for a pound of pumpkin. We made our way back to the car where Joe put the pumpkins in the trunk and I put Emilie in her children's seat and buckled her in.

"Let's go home and start our artwork." I pressed a small kiss on Emilies forehead. 

"Yeah mommy, and can we have cupcakes and hot chocolate?" I nodded, smiling at her. "That sounds like a really good plan, darling." Joe said while getting into the car. I let go of Emilie and then got into the driver's seat.

I watched Emilie play with the Unicorn in the backseat, while we drove back north to my apartment. Joe and I were quietly talking with each other about my music and the upcoming tour and the planned secret session in London next week. Emilie and I would fly out with Joe and maybe we'd spend some more time together. 

"Emi. We're home." I told her, while Joe was already getting out of the car. He picked up two of the pumpkins and carried them inside, where he put them down to get the last one. I had picked Emilie up and carried her inside, so her face was hidden. "Please go upstairs okay? We'll be there in a second." Emilie nodded and ran upstairs. Joe had came back inside with the last pumpkin.

This time there were some paparazzi, so there probably would be headlines about us and Emilie buying pumpkins tomorrow. I took one of the pumpkins and started to walk to the door. 

When one of the doors opened. "Taylor. What's the name of the girl always seen with you? Is she your daughter?" One of the paparazzi had really followed us inside, luckily one of the bodyguards quickly pushed him back out, while we went upstairs to Emilie, waiting for us outside of the apartment. 

As soon as the door closed behind us I let out a sigh of relief. Going out was always so exhausting, but it also had been so much fun. 

"Mommy. Are you okay?" I heard my little girl's voice. Looking at her I saw that she had already gotten out of her coat and shoes, she was looking up at me worried.

"I'm fine, my baby. I'm just glad we are home and kinda hungry for some cupcakes. What do you think?" She nodded excitedly and carried her pumpkin towards the living room. Joe and I followed her and put the three pumpkins together on the table.

"First cupcakes and some drinks and then pumpkins." I was looking around slightly stressed out from the paparazzi. Emilie hugged my legs and Joe smiled at me. "How about you girls get on some clothes that can get dirty and cuddle and I take care of the food?" I was about to protest, but Emilie was nodding and pulling me with her.

I heard Joe rustling in the kitchen while I helped Emilie put on some old clothes that could get dirty, before changing myself. When we came back towards the kitchen Joe had set the table, got out the cupcakes and was heating the milk in a small pot. 

"You girls sit down, I'm with you in a bit." I sat down and Emilie climbed onto my lap. Leaning her head onto my shoulder and giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

"I love you mommy." She mumbled into my ear and I held onto her as if my life depended on it, I just thought about what could've happened if the paparazzi had been a little faster he might have been able to get to her. 

"I love you too so much baby. So much, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." Joe was walking over and set down to mugs before walking back and getting the third one.

"Thanks." I gave him a smile, watching as Emilie took a cupcake and Joe took one as well. I hesitated to take one for a short second, but than Emilie handed me one that she thought was really pretty and smiled up at me with those big, happy, blue eyes and I didn't feel like I should ever be a bad example for her if I still had some mental powers to fight my demons.

"Thanks love." I kissed her before kissing her forehead and taking a bite out of the cupcake. My little girl smiled up at me before she continued to eat her cupcake and drink her hot cocoa.

After we finished we cleaned up and put some old newspapers on the table and getting same spoons and carving knives. Emilie was buzzing with energy as I helped her to cut open the pumpkin. "Now you gotta take the insides out." Emilie nodded excited and started. Joe and I started as well, but compared to Emilie we were less excited and talking a lot about upcoming plans and the next few days. 

"Mommy I'm finished." Emilie really had finished taking the insides out. "Well you can carve out your pumpkin now. Do you know what you want to carve inside your pumpkin?" "A face." I handed her a Marler so she could mark the face where she wanted to cut. 

"Look isn't it pretty?" She asked. Her face had big round eyes, one small triangle nose and a really big mouth with two vampire-like teeth on the top and a lot of sharp little teeth on the lower half of the mouth. 

"You are really good at drawing." Joe praised her and she smiled happily. "He's right, that looks so good." "What are you gonna draw mommy?" I turned the pumpkin around, showing her my drawing. It was three letters 'Rep' in the same font my album used. "And you Joe?" Emilie asked him and he turned his pumpkin around. It was a small bat hanging upside down. 

"They are so pretty." Emilie smiled and clapped happily, making us smile. 
"Okay baby here is a knife, but you have to be very careful and work away from your body, just like when we cook okay?" I said as I gave her the knife. She nodded and started to work on the cutting. 

It took us another two hours in which Emilie asked Joe about England, his family and his time in Uni, which irritated her since she called it college, and Joe asking Emilie about her favorite place and animal and subject in school, while I was more or less sitting back and watched the two most important people in my life build a relationship. 

But then we finished. All of our pumpkins were looking pretty good and while we, the grown ups, cleaned up, Emilie carried pumpkin after pumpkin onto the stairs and arranged them to look pretty.

"Can we put candles inside?" She asked and I nodded, already carrying them over to her. 

One by one we lit the candles and Joe turned the light off. "Look how pretty." Emilie smiled, clapping her hands. 
"It really is, isn't it?" 

I took a picture of the pumpkins and posted it in my Instagram story with the caption '...ready for halloween?' Joe had turned the light back on and Emilie blew the candles out. 

"Well we have some more time till dinner. How about we watch a movie?" Joe asked and I nodded agreeing. Emilie just climbed onto the couch nodding. We chose a simple Disney film, but halfway into it Emilie started to fall asleep and leaned against Joe.

Once she really was asleep, I looked at him smiling. "See, she loves you." Joe smiled and gently caressed Emilies hair. "I'm glad. She's amazing and so smart. God I'm so happy I get to be a part of her life." I smiled at this and felt the happy tears filling my eyes. "Tay? You okay?" I nodded and moved closer to him. "Yeah I'm just really happy that the two of you get along." He smiled and gave me a soft kiss on the lips, making me smile.

"I love you Joe." I whispered against his lips, making him smile. "I love you too Tay. Boy, I fancy you." He whispered back, looking into my eyes, before pulling me closer to him and Emilie. 
We just sat there in silence, the movie still running while I was imagining the rest of my life with Joe by my side, raising Emilie with me and accepting her as his child. Just the three of us being our own little family.

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