Breathe in. Breathe out. 

That's all Felix had been repeating since he had seen the message Areum had left behind. The moment he read that dreadful message, it was like the world stopped.  Time stopped ticking, all the heated arguments that followed started to sound wobbly and distorted, the walls felt like they were closing in and worst of all, Felix couldn't breathe. He had fallen into one of the comfy armchairs, while running both his hands through his hair. 

And then he screamed. He screamed like there was no one else in the room, like there was no tomorrow. He remembered exactly how the everyone shut up after hearing him scream, how all the members had rushed to him, trying to calm him down. But deep down, he knew that no one could calm him quite like Areum could. She'd always known what to say to him, and when to say. She always knew when he would prefer a comfortable silence, and when he would want to have a nice heart to heart conversation.

But she wasn't there. Not anymore. And with the way things were looking, she might never even come back. And Felix hated himself for that. He hated himself for not staying with Areum that night. For not being with her when she might've needed him. For not asking her if everything was okay. 

He could still inhale in her scent, lying on her bed, where they had spent so much time lazing around and cuddling. He had refused to leave the house, because he didn't want to leave the place where he might have spent his last moments with Areum. And all the members, since they didn't want to leave Felix in such a state, they also chose to stay. 

He turned to look at the alarm clock beside the bed. It was 3 at night, meaning he hadn't slept all night, just tossing and turning, the guilt eating him alive. How could he have been expected to sleep, anyway? The guy had lost his girlfriend, found out she was in one of the top three biggest mafias in South Korea, joined the same mafia, and gotten to know that the love of his life had chosen to leave him. 

He once again turned to look at the alarm clock. It was pink in color, and had unicorns and rainbows all over him. He chuckled, remembering how much she loved cute things. 

Flashback:

Felix was standing in the aisle, pushing the trolley as Areum filled it with literally anything that was pink, purple, or black. 

"Why, Ari, why, do I have to be tortured like this? You know, with the amount pink, purple and black you're putting, my vision might change into seeing only these colors for the rest of my life!" he whined, looking at Areum in disbelief

"It's not only pink, purple and black! All of this stuff is also super CUTE! And you know how much I love cute things" she smiled, her warm smile sending sparks down Felix's spine.

"You mean like me?" he teased. 

Areum stopped for a second, looking around to see if anyone was there, proceeding to move towards Felix. She pulled him down to her level, and attached their lips together. She wrapped her arms around him, as he wrapped his arms around her petite waist, and separated their lips. 

"Especially you"  she smiled, looking up at him.

End of Flashback

"Did she hate PDA so much because she was afraid of people seeing me with her and that might make me a target for others?" Felix wondered aloud. 

He sat up in the bed, turning to the side and getting up. The room reminded him too much of her. He couldn't bear to be in the room for any longer. He ran to the door, standing there as he took in one last view of the room. It's big, wide, bay window where the two of them had spent hour talking, the white desk where Areum would sometimes sit and whine about how unfair life is, the baby pink walls, the countless pictures of the two of them together that were hung all around the room, the four poster bed, everything in her room was imprinted in his mind. 

"How could you leave me like this Ari? No explanations, or anything? I feel so, so betrayed. But you were doing this for me only, weren't you?" He asked the seemingly empty room and walked out. 

He tiptoed down the hall, careful not wake anyone as he passed their rooms. The first room he passed was Jeongin's room, where Jeongin and Changbin were sleeping. Then came the room where Areum's parents would stay whenever they would visit; Hyunjin and Yura were sleeping there. And finally, the guest room, where Seungmin, Chan, Minho, and Jisung were all sleeping together. 

He finally reached the main door, opening it slightly so that he had just about enough space to go out. He entered the porch, softly closing the door behind him. He sat down on the stairs, leaning his head on one of the poles and looking out to the inky, dark sky, all the stars looking like diamonds as they shone down on the Earth. The moon was a beautiful crescent, crisp and sharp. 

Flashback:

Areum sat down next to Felix on the stairs, looking out to the night sky. Felix still kept his gaze on her, loving his view more than anything in the world. 

"You know, Lix, as long we both can see the same stars, we're always next to each other, together forever" she mumbled, not moving her gaze from the sky as she scooted closer to him, laying her head on his chest. 

"I know that. We'll never leave each other. Ever." he whispered to her, wrapping his arms around her small frame as pulled her closer towards him. 

End of Flashback

Felix could still feel her presence, no matter where she was right now. 

He looked up at the stars once more and said, "I know you're out there somewhere Ari. And I will find you. No matter where you are"

~°~

How was that? 
Do you guys want more flashbacks about the two of them or not? 

Also. 5 Star is finally OUT. Like wow. S Class, is like pure perfection. I am speechless, and I am so so proud of ma boys right now, you can see how hard they've worked

Cora :)