"Calm down. I have cancelled them as they won't give much profit. Cancel means I will not have any meeting after coming back . Don't worry", Sidharth said with a smile. Shehnaaz smiled back and nodded. She is happy that atleast he can spend time with her after coming back

Shehnaaz started packing his bags and got busy. Sidharth came out of his room to meet his mother who was reading magzine. He asked permission to enter and hugged his mother. Rita sensed some tension in his behaviour. She know he don't knock before entering her room until he is sad or angry. She understood that he want her help when Sidharth hugged her directly

"What happened son? Any problem?", Asked Rita softly. Sidharth nodded and helped her to sit. He placed his head on her lap and looked towards Rita. Rita caressed ruffled his hairs softly and kissed his forehead which contained worry lines. She want her children to stay happy not sad

"I am confused mom..like I love her but whenever I decrease distance between us I remember those days", Sidharth said and closed his eyes tightly to control himself. He don't want to cry in front of his mother. He know if he cried then she will be sad, his mother always take tension whenever he is not happy

Rita kept quiet as she don't have anything to say. It is his decision only . She never went through that pain which Sidharth went through. She love him and Shehnaaz equally but she knows that what Sidharth is feeling is genuine. Anyone will take time to trust a person like her. She started thinking about those days when Sidharth was workaholic but not emotional. He loved Shehnaaz very much and now she understand that it must be difficult for him to trust her again.

"Mom I don't know I am doing right by taking time or not. I still don't trust her... I can't say her as it will hurt her if she is in love with me. I never hated her I don't know what I said in anger before. I don't know if we can lead a happy life together or not", Sidharth told his inner feelings to his mother. He know his mother will help him out now . She will show him the way even if it comes out something unexpected. He is ready to do what his mother says.

"Take your time bacha. You should take time . Regarding Shehnaaz so we are with her. I think she love you I have seen that in her eyes ",said Rita softly. She can understand his side but at the same time she want to see her son happy. She know his happiness lies with her but she can't force him to do things which are difficult for him

"I thought same before too mom. Even that time I thought she love me but she didn't. How can I believe those eyes now? I am scared to loose again now. I can't fight with rejection again. I always thought she loved me but now I don't have any energy left to bear anything", chocked  Sidharth with tears which he wiped immediately. Rita tried holding his face but he pushed her hands and helped her to hold his hairs. Rita kissed his forehead and stroked her hands on his hairs softly. She is very sad finding her son weak in love. Why it happened with him only? Why he didn't got happy married life like he deserved?

"She is honest now beta and if you are not satisfied then test her", suggested Rita so that he could trust her but Sidharth denied instantly

"No mom. I am happy with these little moments. I can't test her as I will be hurt in every way if she is honest then I will be hurt thinking that how can I doubt her and if she is... again doing same then I.. won't be able to survive. I don't want to live nor I want to die leaving you alone", Sidharth said kissed her hands. Rita closed her eyes tightly controlling her tears. She herself can't test Shehnaaz as she don't have any doubt. She know she will regret doubting Shehnaaz very much. She smiled when Sidharth kissed her hands. He always care for her like she is his daughter not mother.

"Then live your every moment beta. Don't think about past . Try to enjoy your present", Rita suggested again. Sidharth nodded and sat beside her. Rita pulled her hands back which here on his hairs before. His eyes are twinkling with tears she understood that he is trying hard not to cry in front of her. She want him to cry but she know he will never do that when he know his mother will cry along with him. Even she is trying hard not to break in front of her son.

"I want her in my life what if she thought I am selfish?",asked Sidharth in low voice. Rita chuckled hearing his question. He just asked this question like a small child who is confused regarding his surroundings. She know Shehnaaz will not think like this they think?

"She will not Sidharth. Try to understand her and lead a happy like like it's arranged marriage", Rita gave one more suggestion. Sidharth rolled his eyes for this lame suggestion

"Arranged marriage with my love? Mom people can control themselves in arranged marriages and I can't. I can't name our marriage as arranged because there is nothing arranged. She respond to my feelings equally whereas in arranged marriage people have awkward relationship", Sidharth chuckled at his mother's suggestion. But with her suggestions one thing is crystal clear that she want him to spend life with Shehnaaz not alone. She want him to give chance to Shehnaaz

"I understand but don't recall that day everytime. Just let your heart rule you", Rita said. Sidharth just hummed and straightened himself when they heard knock on door. They watched Shehnaaz came inside with slow steps but didn't said anything. Rita asked her to come but she gave her one glass of water with her medicines and left quietly. Sidharth wanted to stop her but no word came from his mouth. He excused himself and followed Shehnaaz
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He entered in room and found her struggling to pick his bag which is zipped now. Maybe because she packed his bags. He walked towards her and helped her to place bag safely on one corner

"I will try to come soon", Sidharth said thinking that maybe she is sad because he is leaving. She already tried asking him many times but he is helpless. Shehnaaz just stared ground because she don't want to say anything. She felt his hands encircling her waist softly. She closed her eyes feeling his closeness around her but one thing sticked in her mind

"If he is not forgiving her then why he is coming close?", Shehnaaz thought

"Thank you Shehnaaz. I will miss you", Sidharth said with closed eyes inhaling her scent. He always forget about world whenever she is near him.

"Me or my bo..", Shehnaaz stopped in middle because she don't have courage to complete. Sidharth left her hands and steeped back hearing her words. He looked towards her back being numb. He was scared what if she misunderstood his feelings as lust and now when she is really feeling same he is numb. He felt like land slipped from his feet.

Shehnaaz turned when he took his hand back and noticed him standing numb. She slapped herself in mind for her stupidity. She heard their conversation which broke her and she behaved like a mad women. She holded Sidharth's hands and placed it on her waist but he took them back immediately which hurt her. She regretted her words now but it's better to clear everything before its too late

"Sidharth I am sorry I don't mean it. I just heard your conversation with mom and regretted everything. I really don't mean anything. You can do anything I will never question. That is the reason I don't want to become old Shehnaaz Sidharth. I don't want to hurt you. I love it when you touch me with right and I hate when you are away from me please don't behave like this. I am sorry for everything", Shehnaaz said panicking watching his numb reaction. She tried patting his cheeks but he didn't moved a inch. She came near him and kissed his cheeks thinking that he may react which actually worked. He pulled her in hug but then left her waist within seconds leaving her in pool of guilt.

Rather than mending she is messing everything.

"Sidharth I am sorry but hear me I assure you that I will never leave you ever. I will never go away from you. I know you are going to miss me and even I am going to miss you, your touch and your naughtiness. I love you soo much Sidharth please don't behave like this", Shehnaaz cried in his arms. Sidharth felt his shoulders getting wet because of her tears. He realised that maybe she said that in childishness so he rubbed her back to calm her

"I promise I will never talk like this and sorry... I don't want to behave old me....I always end up hurting you just like now ", Shehnaaz whispered with much difficulty. She hate her old self. Her old self ruined her completely and it's still doing same that's what she think. Sidharth pulled her out of hug and wiped her tears

"But I want old you", Sidharth demanded

"Old me will hurt you.. I want you and your sweet gestures like before I am really sorry for hurting you. I don't mean anything I said I swear", Shehnaaz said without hearing his reply. She is mad at herself for saying something without thinking twice. Sidharth holded her hands and pinned her to nearby wall

"Are you going to shut your mouth or not?", He asked angrily. Shehnaaz nodded and looked down quietly because she can't meet her eyes with him after accusing him which she always wanted

"What do you want ?", Asked Sidharth

"Attention from you that's it but I know you will never touch me because I accused you I'm sorry", Shehnaaz apologized again like a small child . Sidharth closed his eyes to control himself. He is on verge of breaking down but he know this time she didn't mean anything

"It's ok", he said and left her hands. He turned to leave but Shehnaaz hugged him from back

"Don't ignore me again I really didn't mean anything I want your love the way you touch me with right", Shehnaaz said

"Even you have two hands. You can use them too. Like you even I have some expectations. Like you even I want attention but what I am getting? Nothing you are just proving my fears right and lowering my expectations. You think you don't know how to get me back? Do you really think so then why you were confident before? You think you don't matter then why I saved you? Why I end up in saving already broken relation? Just answer me?

Every time I feel like forgetting everything just to enjoy my time with you but you don't want. I told you many times to behave like the way I want to see you but you don't. You are blaming your old self which I didn't saw today. If you were childish then you would be irritating me more rather than messing things. Just think once what I liked your serious and scared nature or bold and childish.

And yes come with answers if not then sorry for keeping high expectations", Sidharth shouted and left from there. He don't regret whatever he said now because he was keeping this in his heart from a long time. Today he poured everything which his heart expected from her. He know it was needed for her to understand how can she prove him she is right for him. Doing things silently for him will not work but she should do everything with right. She should not think twice before showing her right on him that's what he want.
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Hii please press vote button atleast if can't comment. And understand one thing that it is not easy for me to write emotional scenes right now like this

I am doing it just for you because I know I will be busy in my sister's wedding on October. So I want to complete emotional parts atleast because I don't want to tell anyone I still miss him.

His burst out was very important in this story because Shehnaaz is not understanding how To get his trust back.. I will not drag these cold wars❤️