As we pulled into the drive-in, I felt the nerves bubbling in my stomach. Nathan found us a spot near the middle and parked the car.

"Right," he said, turning to me with a grin. "Let's get sorted, shall we?"

I nodded, watching as he fiddled with the radio, trying to find the right station for the film's audio. After a bit of static and what sounded like a country music station, he finally found it.

"Got it!" he said triumphantly.

While he was doing that, I took in our surroundings. Cars were parked around us, some with couples snuggled up in the front seats, others with families spreading picnic blankets in the back of their trucks. The massive screen loomed before us, showing adverts for the snack bar.

Nathan turned to the back seat, rummaging around in the mountain of snacks he'd brought. "Blanket first, I reckon," he said, pulling out a soft-looking fleece. "It might get chilly later."

He spread the blanket over our laps, and I tried not to overthink about how close we were sitting.

"Snacks next," he continued, turning back to the pile. "What do you fancy? We've got crisps, chocolate, those weird sour sweets you like..."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You remembered those?"

He looked at me like I was daft. "Course I did. You only go on about them every time we watch a film."

I felt a warmth in my chest that had nothing to do with the blanket. "Well, I'll have some of those in that case, please."

Nathan handed me the sweets and a bottle of juice, then grabbed some crisps for himself. As we settled in, munching on our snacks, I glanced at the screen again.

"So, 'Anyone But You'," I said. "Have you heard much about it?"

Nathan shook his head. "Not really. Just that it's supposed to be funny and romantic, I guess."

I nodded. "Yeah, I've been wanting to see it for ages. Glad we're finally getting the chance."

There was a moment of silence, and I could feel Nathan looking at me. When I turned to meet his gaze, there was something in his eyes I couldn't quite read.

"How's things been at home?" he asked softly. "You know, since... everything."

I felt my chest tighten a bit. We didn't talk about my illness much, not directly, anyway. But I suppose it was always there, hanging over us like a storm cloud.

"It's been..." I paused, trying to find the right words. "Tense, if I'm being honest. My sister hasn't been sleeping well. I can hear her crying at night sometimes."

Nathan's face fell. "Oh, Beth. I'm sorry."

I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "It's not your fault. Mum and Dad aren't much better. I don't think they're sleeping much either."

He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "And you? How are you holding up?"

I looked down at my hands, fiddling with the wrapper of my sweets. "I'm... as okay as I can be, I guess. Some days are better than others."

When I looked back up at Nathan, his eyes were full of concern. It made my heart ache in a way I wasn't ready to examine too closely.

"I have my next appointment for chemo on Monday," I said suddenly, not sure why I was bringing it up now.

Nathan's eyebrows shot up. "Oh? That's... soon."

I nodded, then took a deep breath. "Do you want to come?"

He looked surprised. "Am I allowed?"

"Yeah," I said, feeling suddenly shy. "I missed you there the first time I'd gone. I wished I'd asked you."

Nathan's face softened. He reached out and took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll come," he said firmly. "I'll be there, I promise."

I felt tears prick at my eyes and blinked them away quickly. "Thanks," I mumbled.

We sat in silence for a moment, his hand still holding mine. It felt nice. Safe.

"So," Nathan said eventually, his voice too bright. "What else have I missed? Catch me up on all the Beth drama."

I laughed, grateful for the change of subject. "Well, let's see. I've started a new book series that's quite good. Oh, and I finally beat that level on that game you showed me."

Nathan's eyes lit up. "No way! The one with the dragons?"

I nodded, grinning. "Yep. Turns out, all I needed was to upgrade my armour."

"I told you!" he exclaimed, looking too pleased with himself.

We chatted about games and books for a while, the heavy moment from before fading into the background. As we talked, I found myself relaxing more and more. This was why Nathan was my best friend. He could always make me feel normal, even when everything else in my life was falling apart.

The screen flickered to life as the film started, and we settled back to watch. As the opening credits rolled, I snuck a glance at Nathan. He was watching the screen intently, a small smile on his face. The screencast's light gave his features a soft glow, and I felt my heart flip.

I quickly looked away, focusing on the film. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between us. Maybe it was the romantic setting of the drive-in or the way he'd held my hand earlier.

Or perhaps it was just that, faced with my own mortality, I was finally allowing myself to see Nathan in a different light.

Whatever it was, I decided to push those thoughts aside for now. Tonight was about having fun and forgetting my problems for a few hours. And as the film's first joke landed, making Nathan and me laugh out loud, I knew I'd made the right choice in coming here.

The main characters on screen bickered annoyingly and endearingly, reminding me a bit of how Nathan and I sometimes acted. As I watched them dance around their obvious attraction to each other, I couldn't help but wonder...

No. It's best not to go down that road.

Instead, I reached for more sweets, accidentally brushing Nathan's hand as he went for the crisps simultaneously. We both pulled back quickly, mumbling apologies and awkward laughs.

"Sorry," Nathan said, rubbing the back of his neck. "You go first."

I grabbed a handful of sweets, ignoring how my skin tingled where we'd touched. This was ridiculous. We'd touched hands hundreds of times before. Why did it suddenly feel so different?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

The film kicked off, and I got sucked in pretty quickly. The main characters were a right laugh, reminding me how Nathan and I take the mick out of each other. But there was this... I don't know, tension between them? Like they loved each other but were too stubborn to admit it.

I reached for my drink, realising I'd been so into the film I'd forgotten about all the snacks Nathan had brought. As I took a swig, I noticed Nathan had gone quiet. Weird. Usually, he'd be chatting away, asking what I thought about this bit or that.

But now he was just... watching.

I snuck a look at him, only to find him already looking at me. He whipped his head back to the screen, his face reddened. What was that about?

The film hit a tense bit, with the two leads finally facing up to how they felt about each other. I felt Nathan shift next to me. His hand, which had been sitting on the bit between our seats, inched closer to mine.

My heart started racing. Was he going to...?

Slowly, so slowly, I thought I might be imagining it, his little finger brushed against mine. I held my breath, scared to move. Then, gentle as anything, he slipped his hand into mine.

I didn't look at him. I couldn't. I kept my eyes glued to the screen, even though I couldn't have told you what was happening in the film if you'd paid me. I could only think about Nathan's hand, his thumb softly stroking my skin.

We sat like that for ages; neither of us said anything, but neither of us let go. The snacks lay forgotten around us, but I couldn't have cared less about them.

As the film went on, I found myself getting more and more nervous. This was Nathan, my best friend. I'd never felt nervous around him before. But lately, things had been... different. I'd catch him looking at me when he thought I wouldn't notice or find excuses to touch me - a hand on my shoulder, a playful nudge. And now this...

I'd always liked Nathan if I'm being honest. He was kind and funny and got me in a way no one else did. But I'd pushed those feelings down, told myself we were just mates. It was safer that way.

But now, with his hand in mine and my heart doing flips in my chest, I couldn't ignore it anymore. I liked Nathan as more than a friend.

But wasn't it too late now? With everything that was happening, with my illness... It wasn't fair to have feelings for him now. What if we got together, and then the cancer got too much for him? What if he left? Then I'd lose him completely, and the thought of that was almost too much to bear.

Surely having him as a friend was better than not having him at all?

I tried to focus on the film, but my mind was all over the place. I kept thinking about all the what-ifs and ways this could go wrong. But then Nathan's thumb would brush against my skin again, and all those thoughts would disappear, replaced by a warmth that spread through my whole body.

Without meaning to, I found myself looking at Nathan again. This time, he was already looking at me. Our eyes met, and I felt my face go hot.

"What?" I asked, barely above a whisper.

He smiled this soft, tender smile that made my heart skip. "Nothing," he said. "Just admiring the view."

I scoffed, trying to hide how flustered I felt. "What view? We're in a car park."

His smile got bigger. "You," he said.

I felt my face go even hotter. I looked down at our joined hands, then back up at Nathan. He was still watching me, his eyes soft and warm.

For a moment, I forgot about everything else: the illness, the uncertainty, the fear. I could only see Nathan looking at me like I was the most important thing in the world.

We returned to the film, but I wasn't watching it anymore. I was too aware of Nathan beside me, of his hand in mine, of the way the air between us felt... different. Charged, somehow.

As the film reached its big moment, with the main characters finally admitting how they felt, I couldn't help but wonder if Nathan and I were heading towards our own... thing. The thought was both exciting and terrifying.

I snuck another look at him, only to find him looking at me again. This time, neither of us looked away. The film faded into background noise as we looked at each other. It felt like we were on the edge of something, teetering between being mates and being... something more.

Nathan opened his mouth like he would say something, then closed it again. He squeezed my hand gently, a question in his eyes that I wasn't sure how to answer.

I wanted to tell him everything. How much he meant to me, how scared I was of losing him, how I'd been falling for him for longer than I wanted to admit. But the words got stuck in my throat.

Instead, I squeezed his hand back, hoping he could understand everything I couldn't say. His smile told me that maybe, just maybe, he did.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

The credits started rolling, and Nathan turned to me. "So, what d'you fancy? Home, or...?" He trailed off, looking a bit nervous.

"The beach," I said, probably too quickly. I just... I didn't want this night to end, you know?

Nathan grinned, starting the car. "Beach it is, then."

The drive was quiet, but not in a bad way. Just... comfortable. We were still holding hands, and now and then, Nathan would give mine a little squeeze. It made my stomach do these weird, flippy things.

When we got to the beach, Nathan hopped out first and came round to my side. He opened the door and held out his hand. "M'lady," he said, putting on a posh voice that made me snort.

"You're such an idiot," I laughed, but I took his hand anyway.

We walked down to the beach, still hand in hand. The sand was cool under our feet, and the sound of the waves was... peaceful, I guess? We didn't talk much at first; we just walked and looked at the stars.

Then Nathan started going on about this new game he'd been playing, and I teased him about being a nerd, and it was just... nice. Normal. It was like nothing had changed, even though everything had.

We were laughing about something daft when Nathan suddenly stopped dead. I looked back at him, confused. "What's up?"

He took a deep breath like he was psyching himself up for something. "Beth, I... I need to tell you something."

My heart started racing. Oh God, was this it?

"I've been trying to find the right words all night," he said, running his free hand through his hair. "But I'm rubbish at this stuff, so I'm just gonna say it, okay?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"Beth, I... I love you. I've loved you since we were kids, and before, I knew what love was. And I've loved you every day since then."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. Was this real?

"You're my best friend," he continued, his voice soft and trembly. "You're the first person I want to talk to when something good happens and the only person I want to see when things are shit. You make me laugh like no one else can and understand me like no one else does."

He stepped closer, and suddenly, I was against his chest. His hands brushed my hair back from my face, and he looked down at me with so much... love... that I thought I might melt.

I could feel his heart pounding, feel his breath on my face. All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss him. To finally know what those lips felt like against mine.

And then, like he'd read my mind, he was leaning down, and his lips were on mine.

It was... God, it was everything. Soft and warm and a bit clumsy, but perfect. This was my first kiss. And I knew it was his, too. Was I doing it right? I didn't want to mess it up.

We pulled back after a bit, and Nathan rested his forehead against mine. "I should've done that years ago," he murmured. "Maybe then we could've had longer together."

I felt a pang in my chest at that. Nathan must've seen something in my face because he quickly said, "Your eyes are so beautiful in this light."

I couldn't help but smile. "We're talking about eyes now?"

He grinned, but then his face got all serious again. "God, Beth... I love you. I love you so much. It's like... Do you know when you were a kid, and you were waiting for Christmas? And you're so excited you can barely sleep? That's how I feel every time I know I'm going to see you. You're my Christmas morning every single day."

My heart was going mental. He'd just told me he loved me. Actually said the words. I was really happy, over the moon, but why was I suddenly feeling scared?

What if we'd made a mistake? We couldn't go back from this, could we? Oh God, I was going to have a panic attack.

"Beth? Are you okay?" Nathan's voice sounded far away.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. "Can you take me home?" I managed to choke out. "Please?"

Nathan looked hurt, but he nodded. We walked back to his car in silence, not holding hands anymore. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to do it with him there, asking questions I couldn't answer.

As we drove home, I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. The boy I loved had just told me he loved me, and here I was, freaking out.

I'd ruined everything. And I had no idea how to fix it.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​