I take a deep breath and push open the front door. As soon as I step inside, I'm with Mum and Dad's worried faces. They're both in the hallway like they've been waiting there for ages.

"Elizabeth Reid!" Mum cries, rushing over to hug me. "Where on earth have you been?"

I hug her back. "I was with Nathan," I mumble into her shoulder.

Dad's voice is stern when he speaks. "You could have called or sent a text. Anything to let us know where you were."

Mum pulls back. "We were so worried, love. If Nathan hadn't told us, he knew where you were and would have brought you home—"

"We were this close to calling the police," Dad finishes, holding his thumb and forefinger close together.

I look down at my feet. "I'm—"

"You had us going out of our minds!" he continued, cutting me off. "We didn't know if you'd... if something had..." He couldn't even finish vocalising his worst fears.

I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry," I say, and I mean it. "I didn't think. I just... I needed some time, you know?"

Mum's face softens a bit. "We understand that, sweetheart. But you have to let us know where you are. Especially now..."

She trails off, but I know what she means. Especially now that I'm sick. Especially now that they're terrified of losing me.

"I know," I say quietly. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Dad sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Alright. Just... please be more considerate next time."

I nod, looking up at them. They both look tired and worried. It makes me feel even worse.

"Have you eaten?" Mum asks, changing the subject.

I shake my head. "No, not yet."

"Right," she says, going into mum mode. "Let's get some food in you. I've got leftovers from dinner."

We all walk into the kitchen. I sit at the table while Mum busies herself with heating food. Dad sits across from me, still looking a bit upset.

"Where's Meri?" I ask, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Upstairs," Dad says. "Reading, I think. Or playing with her dolls."

I nod. "Okay. I'll go see her after this."

Mum places a plate of steaming shepherd's pie in front of me. It smells incredible, and my stomach growls. I didn't realise how hungry I was.

"Thanks," I say, picking up my fork.

She sits beside Dad, and they watch me eat momentarily. It's a bit weird, to be honest.

"So," Mum says after a while, "how was college?"

I freeze, my fork halfway to my mouth. I'd been hoping they wouldn't ask about that. I put the fork down slowly, not meeting their eyes.

"It was... it was okay," I mumble.

Dad leans forward a bit. "Just okay? Did something happen?"

I take a deep breath. I could lie and tell them it was fine, but I'm tired of lying, of pretending everything's alright when it's not.

"It was too much," I say quietly. "There was... there was so much whispering."

Mum reaches out to touch my hand. "Whispering? What do you mean?"

I look up at them, feeling my eyes prick with tears. "Everyone knows. About... about the cancer. And they were all whispering about it. Looking at me like... like I'm already dead or something."

Dad's face goes tight, as it does when he's upset but trying not to show it. "Oh, Beth," he says softly.

"I tried to ignore it," I continue, the words spilling out. "I did. But it was everywhere. In every class, in the corridors. Even the teachers acted weird like they didn't know what to say to me."

Mum squeezes my hand. "Is that why you disappeared?"

I nod, feeling a tear slip down my cheek. "Yeah. I just... I couldn't handle it anymore. So I went to mine and Nathan's spot in the woods."

There's a moment of silence.

"Why didn't you call us?" Dad asks. "We would've come and got you."

I shrug, wiping my eyes. "I dunno. I guess... I didn't want to burden you. And Nathan showed up anyway, so..."

Mum sighs. "Oh, sweetheart. You will never be a burden to us."

"I know," I say. "I'm sorry."

Dad runs his hand through his hair, looking tired. "We're not angry, love. We just want to help."

I nod, poking at my food. "I know. It's just... it's hard, you know? I don't want to be the girl with cancer. I just want to be me."

"Of course you do," Mum says softly. "That's completely understandable."

There's another pause. I can practically hear them thinking, trying to figure out what to say.

"Do you want to take some time off college?" Dad asks eventually. "Just until things settle down a bit?"

I don't think things will ever settle down.

"No," I say quietly. "I don't want to go back."

Mum and Dad exchange a look.

"Are you sure?" Mum asks. "We could talk to your teachers and see if there's a way to make things easier."

I shake my head. "No, I... I can't. Not right now. It's just... it's too much."

Dad nods slowly. "Okay. If that's what you want, we'll support you. We can look into our options, maybe some home tutoring or online classes?"

"Maybe," I say, not wanting to think about it right now. "Can we just leave it for a bit? I just need some time to... I dunno, to breathe."

Mum squeezes my hand again. "Of course. Take all the time you need. We're here for you, whatever you decide."

I nod, feeling guilty. "Thanks. I'm sorry for making things complicated."

Dad shakes his head. "You're not making anything complicated, Beth. You're dealing with a lot, and we're here to help you through it however we can."

We sit in silence for a bit after that. It's not as awkward as before, though. It feels safer, somehow. Like we've cleared the air a bit.

"So," Mum says after a while, "tell us what you did with Nathan. Did you do anything fun?"

I can't help but smile. "Yeah," I say. "Yeah, we did."

Dad gets this look on his face as I tell them what we got up to. You know, the one — that teasing dad look that makes you want to crawl under the table.

"Hmm," he says, trying to hide a smile. "You and Nathan? At last?"

I feel my face go red hot. "Oh my god, Dad. Enough."

But I can feel myself blushing, and Dad's grin gets wider. "Hmm," he says again, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh my god, Dad!" I groan, covering my face with my hands.

Mum swats Dad's arm, but she's smiling too. "Leave her alone, you," she says, but I can tell she's just as interested.

I peek out from between my fingers, still feeling my cheeks burning. The truth is, Dad's not entirely off the mark. I've had thoughts about Nathan. For ages, really. Since we were about eight.

It's just... he's Nathan, you know? My best friend. The one who's always been there for me. He's warm and funny and so kind. He knows how to make me laugh when I'm feeling rubbish and is never afraid to be silly.

So yeah, maybe I've imagined stuff. What it might be like if we were more than friends, if he held my hand for reasons other than comfort if he looked at me the way he does in my dreams.

But then reality comes crashing back in. I'm dying. No matter how you try to sugarcoat it, that's the truth. And it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair on him. I couldn't offer him a future that he deserved. It would be selfish if I told him about my feelings.

Still, sometimes, when we're together, like today in the woods, I can't help but wonder. What if? What could have been if things were different?

I shake my head, trying to clear those thoughts away—no use dwelling on what-ifs.

"Nathan's just my friend," I say finally, lowering my hands. "My best friend. That's all."

Dad looks like he wants to say more, but Mum gives him a look, and he stays quiet. I'm grateful for that. I don't think I could handle any more teasing right now.

"Well," Mum says, changing the subject, "I'm glad you had fun with him. You deserve it."

I nod, feeling a lump in my throat. "Yeah. Thanks for... you know, for understanding about college and everything."

Dad reaches out and squeezes my hand. "Of course."

I look at them both, feeling a wave of love so strong it almost takes my breath away. "I love you," I say quietly. "Both of you. So much."

Mum's eyes get all watery, and Dad clears his throat in the way he does when he's trying not to get emotional.

"We love you too, sweetheart," Mum says, her voice wobbly.

We sit there for a moment, just being together. Then I stand up, suddenly needing to move. "I'm gonna go see Meri."

Mum nods.

I hesitate for a moment, then go around the table and give them both a hug. Dad holds on longer than usual, and I can feel Mum's hand shake as she strokes my hair.

As I head for the stairs, I hear Dad say softly to Mum, "Our girl's growing up."

I pause at the bottom of the stairs, listening.

"I know," Mum replies, her voice thick with tears. "I just wish..."

"I know," Dad says. "Me too."

I blink back my own tears and start climbing the stairs. I've got to be strong for Meri. She doesn't need to see me crying.

I take a deep breath as I reach the top of the stairs. Right. It's time to see my little sister. It's time to be the big sister she needs for as long as I can be.

I walk down the hallway, pushing away thoughts of Nathan, of college, of everything else. Right now, all that matters is spending time with Meri, making memories, and being her big sister.

Because, in the end, that's what's important. Not what-ifs or might-have-beens. Just this. Just love.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I knock softly on her door.

"Come in," I hear her little voice call out.

I push the door open and peek inside. Meri's sitting on her bed, surrounded by books and stuffed animals. Her face lights up when she sees me.

"Beth, hi!" she says, waving excitedly.

"Hey, you," I say, smiling. "How are you?"

Meri shrugs, holding up her book. "Fine. I'm just reading."

"Do you mind if I join?" I ask.

She shakes her head and scoots over, making room for me on her bed. I climb in next to her, careful not to squish any of her stuffed animals.

"What are you reading?" I ask, peering at the book in her hands.

"It's about a princess who becomes a knight," Meri says proudly. "Want me to read it to you?"

"I'd love that," I say, settling in.

Meri clears her throat dramatically and starts to read. Her voice is still shaky on bigger words, but she's improving. I listen, smiling as she does different voices for each character.

She looks up at me with big eyes when she finishes the chapter. "Can you read me one now?"

"Sure," I say, reaching for one of the books on her bedside table. It's a story about a little rabbit lost in the woods. I start reading, doing my best to do silly voices like Meri does.

"'Oh no,' said Little Bunny. 'I don't know where I am!' He hopped through the dark forest, his little heart going thump-thump-thump..."

Meri giggles at my attempt at a scared bunny voice. I keep reading, getting more and more into it. When Little Bunny finds his way home, Meri is wholly engrossed.

As I close the book, Meri tugs on my sleeve. "Another, another!" she pleads.

I hesitate for a moment, then have an idea. "What if I make one up?" I suggest.

Meri's eyes go wide. "You can do that?"

I nod. "Sure. Want to hear it?"

"I'd love that!" Meri says, snuggling in close.

I take a deep breath, thinking for a moment. Then I begin.

"Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Charlie. Charlie was an extraordinary boy. He loved to play in the park, eat ice cream, and make his mummy and daddy laugh. But Charlie was also very sick."

Meri looks up at me, her eyes serious. I continue.

"Charlie's mummy and daddy took him to many doctors, but none of them could make Charlie better. It made everyone very sad. But Charlie was brave. He smiled even when he felt poorly and always tried to make others happy."

I pause, swallowing hard. Meri squeezes my hand, and I keep going.

"One night, as Charlie was lying in bed, he saw a beautiful light in his room. It was so bright and warm. And in the middle of the light was an angel."

"Was she pretty?" Meri interrupts.

I nod. "She was the prettiest angel you could imagine. She had long, golden hair and wings that sparkled like diamonds. She smiled at Charlie and said, 'Hello, Charlie. My name is Grace. I've come to take you on a special journey.'"

Meri gasps softly. I continue.

"Charlie wasn't scared. He felt warm and happy. He took Grace's hand, and suddenly, they were flying! They soared over Charlie's house, the park where he used to play, and the whole wide world."

"Where were they going?" Meri whispers.

"They were going to a very special place," I say. "A place where Charlie wouldn't be sick anymore. A place where he could run, play, and eat all the ice cream he wanted."

"Heaven?" Meri asks.

I nod. "That's right. Heaven. When they arrived, Charlie saw the most beautiful garden he'd ever seen. There were flowers of every colour, and butterflies, and rainbows. And best of all, Charlie didn't feel sick anymore."

"Was he happy?" Meri asks.

"He was very happy," I say. "But he was a little sad too because he missed his mummy and daddy. But Grace told him a secret. She said that even though his mummy and daddy couldn't see him, he could always see them. And one day, when it was the right time, they would all be together again in the beautiful garden."

I finish the story, but my voice is a bit shaky. "And so, Charlie lived happily in heaven, watching over his mummy and daddy and waiting for the day when they would all be together again. The end."

There's a moment of silence. Then Meri looks up at me, her eyes wide and earnest. "Beth?" she says quietly.

"Yes?"

"Will a nice angel come and get you when it's time? And bring you to heaven?"

I feel my heart squeeze. I hadn't realised how much Meri understood what was happening to me. I take a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Yes," I say softly. "Yes, I think a nice angel will come for me."

Meri nods, then asks in an even smaller voice, "Will she take me too?"

I pull her close, feeling tears prick in my eyes. "No, baby," I say. "It's not your time to go. You've got lots of living to do here first."

Meri snuggles into me. "But I'll miss you," she whispers.

"I know," I say, stroking her hair. "I'll miss you too. But remember what Grace said to Charlie? Even if you can't see me, I'll always be able to see you. I'll watch over you like Charlie did for his mummy and daddy."

Meri nods against my chest. "Promise?"

"I promise," I say, hugging her tight.

We sit like that for a while, just holding each other. I can feel Meri's little heart beating against me, and I try to remember this moment—the smell of her hair, her weight in my arms, the sound of her breathing.

After a moment, Meri pulled away, wiping her eyes. "I'm gonna go play with my dolls now."

I smiled again, my heart aching. "Okay, you go have fun."

Meri slid off the bed and scampered over to her dollhouse. She picked up one of the dolls and began making it swoop through the air, pretending it was an angel flying down to take another doll to heaven.

I watched my sister for a moment, my vision blurring with tears. I quietly slipped out of the room and went to my bedroom, closing the door behind me. Once alone, I sank to the floor, my back against the door, and finally allowed the tears to flow freely.

My shoulders shook with silent sobs as I buried my face in my hands. I knew my time was running short, and the thought of leaving my sister behind was more than I could bear.

But for now, I would hold on, cherishing every precious moment we had together until the day came when the angels would call me home.