Erin McAfee

There are so many emotions in me right now to the point that it's in havoc and uncontrollable.

And this is because of a man.

The ONLY man who has the power to make me lose my mind because of the emotions he brought forth towards me. It's like my brain refuses to function when it comes and/or pertains to him.

I am a strong woman. Everybody knows that I am a tough woman to woo. I'm not easily swayed by words and I very well know how to avoid men that will hurt me.

But it was all thrown away when Zac barged in to my life. He's the epitome of danger in my dictionary, however, he still managed to squeeze his way and slipped pass the wall I built around my heart and to my brain --- from the men like him.

I promised myself to forget everything about him and move on with my life. I even came to terms with myself that everything was just an old fantasy so, it's best if I will stop every feelings and thoughts about him.

BUT!

There's ALWAYS a BUT when it comes to Zachary.

Everytime he shows his face to me and give me those eyes where he shows me see his raw emotions, my heart and brain automatically forego everything I promised to myself. And when I realized that I was about to abandon my selfmade promises, I get angry --- to myself. For allowing him to control both my emotions and logic.

But a while ago was different, when I saw him not being himself --- sadness and loneliness looming over him and a black eye on his left eye all I ever wanted was to hug him and assure him that everything's gonna be fine.

Thankfully, Mason was there. Although what he did was uncalled for, I was still a teeny bit thankful to him or else I'll lose my restraint.

However, it became the prelude of their brawl. Though it was understandable for Mason to do that because as he had said earlier, he has to make Zac's life a living hell because it was ordered by the mystery bidde...

I stopped my brakes suddenly when I remembered the HIM, the mystery bidder. The one who hold a grudge from Za---

"For a second there, I thought I'll die today." I heard a male voice from beside me and saw Mason holding so tight onto the roof handle while trying to stop his nosebleed.

"AAAHHH!!" I screamed when I saw him and he seconded.

"AHH, WHAT?!"

"H-how... W-why are you here?!" I asked him as I stuttered.

"Huh? You ordered me to get inside your car. I mean, you said 'get in' quite scarily and sexy." He winked at me despite the non-stop bleeding of his nose.

But I remembered now though that I told him to get inside my car once we reached my car in Livy's apartment's parking place.

I sighed and shook head. I looked at my wrist watch and

"Green's on." He said and pointed at the traffic light when he saw the confusion in my face.

I drove ahead and took a glance at him.

"Tilt your head back, Mason, and firmly pinch the soft part of your nose. We're not far from the hospital." I told him as I see my hanky being soaked up with his blood--- it's disconcerting.

"No. Just treat me, Erin. I don't want to grace the hallways of ER with a bleeding nose, have my picture taken by some random paparazzi, and be on tomorrow's paper. No. Let's just go in to your apartment." He said with his eyes close while leaning on my car's headrest.

I could see it in his eyes that his arrogant and tough exterior he displayed awhile ago to Zac was already replaced by discomfort.

Poor Mason, he's been physical with Zac since he accepted that favor from that shareholder.

Maybe I can ask him about him later.

Thankfully, as we rode the lift, his nose stopped bleeding. As we entered my unit, I directed him to the toilet so he can clean his face. I gave him one of Zac's spare shirts he left here so he can change into that, as his shirt got specks of blood on it. Then, I gave him a pack of frozen peas and a small towel to place it on his nose bridge.

10 minutes of silence when Mason decided to break it.

"The Norths do have weights in their hands, especially the older one. He made me bleed." He chuckled and shook his head.

"I guess if I have to choose between them, I'll choose the heiress. At least I can tolerate her hits and it doesn't make me bleed." He chuckled again and this time, he looked at me.

I sighed and held his hand.

"Mason, I'm really really sorry for what happened. Can you stop doing this favor? I don't like you being hurt because of it." He smiled and took the frozen peas off of his face then sat properly to look at me.

"I have no say in this, Erin. It's up to him when should I stop, but I must say, it's fun to see the almighty Zachary North act this way."

"What does he want from Zac? What did Zac do to him?" I asked because I wanted to know.

But when I saw Mason's serious face, a chill ran down my spine.

"I don't know. He just told me that Zac owes him something and he wanted to collect it little by little until he stripped him off with everything he has." I gasped.

What did you do, Zac?

"Maybe Olivia knew who he is. I mean, Cooper and North are now partners, I believe she can---"

"She doesn't know him because he made it a point for Livy to not know him. You know, at first he wanted to use her for his revenge but I firmly disagreed because she's like a sister to me. Then, he used you. You see---"

"Wait. The bidding was ahead of your joint venture, you and Livy were not yet working together that time." I told him as I realized it.

He shook his head and looked at me sadly.

"He has multiple plans, Erin, and that time, I was not yet competing with my cousin. I told you, he knows everything and he's everywhere. Everything he's doing is to get even with Zac. I don't know what Zac did to him but I believe it's huge for him to hold a grudge to him. But he assured me though, that he won't hurt anyone, just Zachary."

If you can see my face now, it's safe to say that I am scared, shocked, and nervous because of this mystery man and for Zac's safety.

"What will he do to him?" Please don't say he wanted to kill him. Please. Please. Please. Oh God, please protect Zac.

Mason just shrugged his shoulders.

"No one knows, Erin. He doesn't tell me what his plans are. He just told me to snatch you away from him and make you fall in love with me. But it's a fail. You're different. Waaay more different than other women. And I'm sorry for including you in this. If only I have a choice, I won't get any favors from him. I don't like being a puppet but he's powerful. Not only because I need his vote, but because he's influential, part of the country's 5% elites, and most of all, he has men."

I tightened my hold on Mason's hand when I heard the last part.

Men.

Hearing this gives me anxiety and fear for Zac's life.

"Did he tell you that he will harm him?" I asked because I have to know.

"No, he won't harm him physically --- at least that's what he told me. But as I told you, I know nothing. I'm just his one of his puppets." He sighed and stood us both up from my couch.

He held both of my hands and looked at me seriously.

"Don't worry, Erin. I believe him. I know he won't harm him physically. He's a man of his words. But one thing I can promise to you though, I won't let him hurt you and Olivia." He tucked a stray hair to my ear and hugged me tightly.

I struggled to seek comfort in his arms because I am thinking of Zac's safety as well as the identity of that man.

I already knew that he's powerful because he can't control a man like Mason if he didn't hold any power.

Fuck!

What the hell did you do, Zac? To have a silent enemy like this?

"Just please Erin, don't tell this to anyone, especially Olivia. Once he knew that I told you and you told Olivia or anyone, he will detonate. He will destruct everything his eyes could see." I gasped and covered my mouth with my palm.

"Promise me." Mason said and I nodded then, he kissed my forehead and went out of my apartment.

As Mason left, I was left with a lot of thoughts about this mysterious powerful man and what does Zac owe him?

Was it a woman?

Did he snatched away his woman from him? But Zac didn't do relationships before me, or was it?

Or, Zac didn't do business with him? But Mason said he's as powerful as the North and Cooper. He's also part of the country's elites.

Ugh. I swear to God I don't know anymore. I have a lot of things in my mind right now and this was being added. I shouldn't have asked Mason, but if I didn't, I wouldn't know the danger lurking around Zac.

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I answered it when I saw Jowee's name.

"Hello."

"Are you okay now?" She asked worriedly.

"No. I swear, everything's so hard. The more I know, the more the situation got worst. Jowee, I don't know what to do anymore." I told her what I have been feeling since Mason left.

"Erin, don't think. You need to stop thinking. Those thoughts in your head disrupts you peace."

Yes, I know very well. But what I thinking of was not about me and Zac. It's about Zac's safety. I know Mason told me that that man won't hurt him physically but still, his intention is to hurt Zac, emotionally or mentally. This is very concerning and I can't te this to anyone because once they knew, they will be part of that man's wrath.

But at the same time, I don't want Zac to be hurt. We may not in good situation right now but I don't want him to be hurt by someone.

"Erin! I just told you to stop thinking about Zac. Take a break from everything and think about yourself! You're ruining yourself because of this. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!!!" I heard Jowee's angry voice through my phone.

I guess she knew I zoned out.

"If only it's that easy." I mumbled.

"I hate seeing you like this, Erin. Among the three of us, you're the one who always know what to do. But now, it's as if you've lost your sense of reason, restraint, and control. You said you wanted to take a vacation, right. Then go. Unwind. Take a time off from everything that's happening here. Clear your mind first then come back here to face everything." She choked and I know she's holding her tears back.

I know her very well. She may be the toughest among us three but she's the most sensitive especially when it comes to us being like this, heartbroken, or something about our personal life that's making us down and not act normal, she's the very first one to cry.

"But, can I? Am I going to clear my mind though? Does changing places ensue clarity of mind? What if it gets worse? Or what if these thoughts in my head eat me alive?"

"Then call us. We're always here for each other, remember? But you have to face this first by yourself and if you really can't, then call us. Livy and I will accompany you and be your shoulders to cry on. You know that, right?" Jowee asked and I couldn't help but cry.

Times like this, I am so grateful to have met them. We always got each other's backs and I'm so lucky to have met them and call them sisters.

"Cry if you must, Erin. Don't bottle it all up." I nodded.

"Thank you, Jowee." I wiped the tears with the back of my hand and smiled.

"I'm on my way to your apartment. I have chinese takeouts with me. Wait for me, okay?" She said and we disconnected.

What she said was right but I am scared to try. I'm scared to go somewhere and be left alone with my own thoughts.

What Livy told me awhile ago were the very thoughts I was fearing but what Jowee said was true. I needed to face everything first by myself. I needed a clear mind or else this would eat me alive.

What I will do was not getting away from my problems, not what Livy did. I am going away to take a break from everything and come back with a clear mind.

I went to my room and packed everything I needed. I called my sister Tyra and told her that I will be leaving for quite some time. Of course I told her everything and she promised me that she will not tell mom, dad, and Yna.

I called Edna, my boss, that I will be taking an indefinite leave as I have to sort things out. Thankfully, she approved as long as I am contactable when some urgent matters are needed my attention.

By the time I was done calling the people I needed to call, my doorbell rang signaling that Jowee's here.

As I opened the door, it was Zac. I could smell alcohol in him... It was like a repeat of what three days ago.

But this time, his demeanor was calm but his eyes were wild. He's now showing the emotions he's feeling --- sadness.

"Erin." He called me by breaking the silence.

"Leave." I ordered.

I could tell he didn't expected this treatment from me but I am trying to find myself again. The last thing I want was for him to ruin everything I haven't even started.

"But please, hear me out." He tried to hold my arm but I took a step back.

"No. I told you, we're over so stop coming here." I said in irritation.

His eyes though, I can now clearly see the changing of his emotions. Awhile ago, sadness, now, fear.

"No. Just please, listen to me. Please. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I know you're mad at me because of what I did to you. But please, baby, hear me out. Just this once. Please." He pleaded.

Never in my life would I see the almighty Zachary North pleading like this. If someone told me that he will do this to me, I would've laughed out loud because I know he won't do this.

But he's already doing it now.

"I said No, Zac. NO! There were many times you could have explained but you chose not to and with that, you've hurt the both of us. I'm done with everything and I'm done trying to understand you. Let's just end everything here, Zac." A lone tear escaped my eye and wiped it quickly with the back of my hand.

"Erin, please. Please. Please don't do this. I promise I won't hurt you again. Please. Just please don't end everything between us. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry." He took a step closer to me and cupped my face with his hands.

I tried to remove his hands but it was useless. His touches though, it ignited the flame in my heart. I so wanted to hug him and kiss him and this was what I am avoiding as well as the reason why I have to get away from here.

But my right hand has its own mind. My thumb caressed his left cheek while my palm cupped his jaw. The familiar excitement of touching him add fuel to the flame in my heart.

He leaned to my touch and his eyes misted. I can clearly see longing in them, he missed this also.

"Zac, let's stop. We need to go our separate ways just like before. We've already hurt each other so much, we need to stop this. Stop everything between us."

He shook his head violently and held my right hand with both of his hand.

"No, baby. Please. I now know my mistake. Please. Please don't end everything between us. I love you, Erin. I love you so much." He hugged me tightly and wept silently.

"I love you too, Zac, but---" he looked at me with hope but I shook my head and continued, "but we're not meant together. From the very start, we're not destined for each other. I enjoyed our months being together but this has to end. This needs to be stopped---"

"You're leaving?!" I saw his eyes flickered on my luggages beside my console table in the foyer. I looked at it and returned my gaze to the man in front of me who's still holding me.

I sighed.

I guess I'll have to tell him.

"Yes, I am leaving." I confirmed.

"No! No! No! Please, Erin, please. Don't leave me. Please don't. I promise I will---"

"Zac, stop it. I've already decided that I'm leaving tomorrow." I told him and what he did next shocked me.

He kneeled --before me.

"Please don't leave me. I promise I will do everything you want me to do. Please, Erin. Please." Tears were now streaming down his beautiful face and it hurts me to see him like this.

"No. Stand up. Zac, please stand up." I tried to pull him up but I couldn't so I kneeled in front of him too.

I wiped his tears with my hands and spoke, "We need to stay away from each other. We need to sort things out by ourselves."

"We can sort things out together, Erin. Just please don't leave me." He again hugged me and this time, tighter. As if his life depended on it.

I too hugged him, for the last time.

"No, Zac. We can't." I mumbled to his ear and ram my hands to his soft hair.

I savored this last moment with him.

We were like that for a while, until I saw Jowee by my door looking at us sadly and in shock.

I pulled away gently from Zac and stood both of us from my floor. Thankfully, he abide.

"You need to go, Zachary." I told him gently and he shook his head.

"We need to let each other go."

"No, Erin. I can't." He said painfully.

"You can. And promise me that you will not ask anyone to follow me." I said strictly and he looked at the ground.

"Zac." I warned him and after a second, he hesitantly nodded his head.

I took three steps back from him even if it was hard to remove his hold from me.

"Goodbye." I enunciated and his shoulders slouched. He shook his head at me and instead of saying goodbye, he said, I love you, and went out of my apartment.

As Jowee closed the door, that's when my knees gave out and cried my heart out.

I love you too, Zac, but we have to end everything.

Hello, loves!!!

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