Erin McAfee

I was getting ready for bed when my door bell rang. I went towards my intercom lazily to see who the hell's trying to waste my time tonight, but what I saw rendered me speechless.

I never once thought nor imagined that he will come here again. I smiled but it quickly went away when I thought of what may be the reason he's here. Please dear God, I hope he's not here to have a fight with me, I am so drained to exchange reasons with Zachary.

Once I opened my door, his lips immediately captured mine, I was goin to push him but my longing for him got the best of my emotions. Our lips danced aggressively against each other and we were fighting for dominance. However, logic was still in me so I decided to pull away and asked him what he was doing here in my apartment.

He then asked me about last night, where Alex set up a dinner to confess his feelings towards me. Of course I got angry because for the nth time, he had me followed! Why was it so hard for him to ask me or someone about everything he's curious about? Why did he need to ask Markus for everything?

I was ready to give him a piece of my mind but when he apologised to me for letting Markus to follow me around and for asking me meekly about last night, it destroyed the hard persona I was trying to muster. So I told him everything.

His eyes though, it sparkled and happiness were clearly seen in his eyes. It was actually the first time I saw him so happy without any reservations, it was pure and wholesome so when he kissed me, I got so lost until I no longer have my self restraint and control over the situation.

His kisses, it's as if the words I wanted to hear from him were being conveyed by his lips, his touches, and his gentleness. So, I decided to succumb to my feelings tonight besides, I was ready to give it myself to him.

When they said that your first night will be unforgettable, well, it was true. It was blissful and euphoric even if it hurts at first, but Zac made sure that I was okay and that I was having the pleasures. I was no expert in this field but I could say that he's very good on what he was doing. It was painful but his lips and caresses were enough to divert the pain away. Also, the way he held and pressed his body against mine was like I was so fragile that he was afraid to hurt and break.

Which was why, when we were done with our second round, when I was leaning my head on his shoulder and he's playing a strand of my hair, I decided to tell him what I've been itching to tell him.

"Zac?" I called and faced him. I smiled when I saw how flushed he was after the intense passion we shared tonight.

"Hmm?" he mumbled and gave me the boyish smile I liked to which I widened my smile and boosted my confidence to tell him.

"I love you." There, I said it. However, my confidence came crashing down when his smile immediately faltered.

He gasped and immediately stood up and quickly wore his boxers. I swear it hasn't registered on me what he was doing but when he quickly pulled up his suit pants, it came crashing on me that he didn't like what I just said to him.

I swear I wanted to hurt him while I was watching him dress up but I couldn't move nor utter a single word because it fucking hurts! This was more painful than that of what he had said to me about Olivia being more important. This one, it did not only crushed my heart but my whole being.

I gave my all to him, I gave him my heart, but what did he do in return? He broke it in front of me and threw it at my face.

Until he left my room, I stayed frozen on my bed not knowing what to do. I couldn't cry even if I wanted to but there were no tears flowing down.

***

"Erin... Erin..."

Then I heard a snap of the fingers in front of me. I looked at Chloe in boredom and she just sighed and shook her head then continued what she was saying.

"Erin, you have a scheduled meeting tomorrow with our new author, Gianni Rodrigo, in the file, it's the synopsis of his book, he also wanted to discuss with you on how he can meet the needs of his target audience."

I nodded at her and took the folder from her and dismissed her but before she leaves the door, she turned around and looked me concernedly.

"Erin, are you okay?" she asked me.

"mmm." I mumbled not wanting to answer her question and to give her a hint that I did not want to venture to this topic.

"It's 6pm, aren't you going home?" she asked me and shook my head and directed my attention to the folder.

When she saw me opened it, she sighed and left my office.

Am I okay though? I don't know.

Am I mad? I don't know.

Am I hurt? I don't know.

Am I sad? I don't know.

I swear I don't know. It was like I was left in the hollowness and that all of my emotions became void and nonexistent since that night.

I know I should be flipping out and crying but I didn't know why I was like this? I shut myself to everyone.

Even when Olivia went back here for just two days, I refused to see her and Jowee so I reasoned out that I was so caught up in work that I couldn't see them.

Jowee however, tried to ask me if I was okay and that if I needed some time or a break from everything but I just said I'm okay.

It's actually been three weeks since that night happened and I haven't told anyone about it. All that Jowee and Livy knew was that me and Zac were still not in good terms and that it started to take its toll on me.

I sighed and leaned my head on my chair. My head was pounding and I could feel a headache was coming on because I haven't eaten anything today. I was also exhausted even though I barely did anything. I slacked off at everything at work, in my apartment, and in my life, it's as if no matter how long I laid down and do nothing, something inside me seems to have given up.

I am tired. Tired of what?

Maybe food would knock some sense to me, so, I took my purse and drove to my apartment.

When I entered the parking lot, I saw the familiar BMW parked beside my usual spot and leaning on it was the person who left me three weeks ago.

As I parked my car, I took a couple of deep breathes and pep talk to myself before I went out and settle everything with Zac.

When I went out of my car, he was already looking at me with a grim expression in his face. I noted that he had grown stubbles and that his usual slick back hair was messed up due to it's length and countless of times being brushed up.

I stayed rooted on my place when he started to walk towards me. Then, when he halted when he's a yard away from me.

I looked into his eyes and I swear I could see the same emotions my eyes held, which was nothing --- hollow.

We were staring at each other's eyes for a good minute until he decided to break the silence.

"Erin." he called my name but I did not fail to see hurt flashed in his eyes when he uttered my name.

"I..." he paused and took a deep breath then continued, "I came here to..."

For the second time, he paused and this time, it was longer then he looked down as if he mustering all the courage he has.

I swear to God, I just stood there like someone who's waiting for something whom she didn't know what she was waiting for. Right this instant, I wasn't expecting something nice he will and was actually expecting the opposite.

So, when he looked at me and opened his mouth, I braced myself for the weight that I was about to catch.

"I'm sorry but we have to end everything between us."

There. He said it already.

I was staring at him and nodded my head then walked towards the lift.

Once I got inside my apartment, I placed my stuff on my couch and went to the kitchen and reheated some food in the microwave. Once I was done eating, I went to my room and did my nighttime routine then sat on my bed.

I'm tired. I just want to sleep but I couldn't.

Was Zac really at the parking lot? Was I really there?

Yes I was there but then I wasn't. Should I cry now or later?

I don't know, all I know was that I'm tired.

Tired of what exactly?

Hi loves!

Sorry this is a short chapter but I hoped you still enjoyed reading this.

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xo,

kimmypatata