Erin McAfee

It's been two weeks since I went to Zac's office to give him a piece of my mind. From thereon, I never heard from him in any way and vice versa. However, I didn't stop missing him, almost every hour of the day, I always think of him if he had eaten already, or if he was also missing me.

There was this time I was reminiscing about our memories together, where we secretly dated, back then it was just all butterflies and rainbows but now, it's the other way around. I know there's something going on with Zac because this kind of misunderstanding won't take so long to mend if there's no underlying issue in it. Which is why even if I was hurt I tried to understand him and still look for the brighter side, I just wish that he does too or find it to himself to open up to me or let me help him face his issues.

But he's still in denial in everything, he keeps on telling me about his responsibility towards Livy and the more he say that to me, the more I realized that it wasn't about it -- that there's more to it.

"I'm sorry I'm late." I heard Alex before he gave me a brief kiss on the cheek.

"No worries, I just got here actually." I lied to him so that I won't tell him that I was here for about 30 minutes thinking about my relationship with Zac.

Anyway, enough with Zac and I, today was one of the days I hung out with Alex. Since we saw each other two weeks ago at a bar, he invites me to have meals with him. I was at first skeptical and hesitant to agree because I didn't want to lead him on again unconsciously but he himself made it clear that this was just a friendly hang out, nothing more, nothing less.

He's also trying to catch up with everyone because next month, he has scheduled flights booked for about two months.

Besides, he's fun to be with especially when Jowee's around. They kept on bickering and arguing about stupid things particularly about Nick and Livy's relationship. Just last night, when we were having dinner at Jowee's apartment, Jowee was about to knock the vase on Alex's head because they were debating about which one was to go first, milk or cereal.

They were so funny to watch on and I kinda ship them together because they look good together. I tried telling it to Jowee last night but she just said that for her, Alex is a type of guy that's only for one night stands not for long term relationship.

However, looking at Alex now who's busy telling the wait staff about his order, I don't see him as such. I mean sure he has the reputation of being a womanizer but since he became my friend and got to know him better, I can't see any traces of him being playboy anymore.

"If you could stop assessing me, it would be less awkward, you know." He chuckled lightly and I grinned at him.

"I was just thinking about how you've changed since I first met you. The airy arrogant attitude was long gone now." I told him honestly to which he held his chest with a fake hurtful eyes.

"I believe I never showed you such thing, I was always respectful and kind." he smirked.

"Well, if you're talking about Niccolo, then yeah, he really is a respectful and kind person when you first meet him but a sick idiotic bastard because of what he did to my best friend!" I stated in nonchalance not caring if he's best friends with him.

Alex sighed and shook his head.

"I know but believe it or not, he's regretted everything and even though he couldn't find where Olivia is, he doesn't stop looking for her."

I smiled at him trying to divert my mind again from Zac. It's weird that Livy and Nick's situation are linked to Zac and I's situation.

"Do you think Erin, Olivia will forgive him once he found her asks for her forgiveness?" Alex asked me and I shook my head.

"I don't know, but knowing Olivia, once she turned her back away from someone, she will never ever give that person a chance anymore."

"But Zac though, he really made sure to block every information that concerns Olivia. Neil and Sky were really right about him being an overprotective brother." he said after the waitstaff placed our orders in front of us.

I was not in the mood to answer that thus I directed my focus on my food and avoid looking at him.

After dinner, he drove me to my apartment even though I tried to refuse as Adrian, my driver was there to drive me home, but you know, he insisted.

As we arrived at my doorstep, I thanked him but before I could get inside, he held my arm.

"Erin..." he called me and I looked at him questioningly.

The intense emotions dancing in his eyes scared me for his next words that's why I hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight, Alex!!" I quickly said and went inside my unit.

Oh my God! Please tell me he's not feeling what I am thinking...

Geez. Please Alex don't...

I don't want to sever my friendship with you.

I was getting ready to hit the hay when face time went off. I saw Olivia calling us so I happily answered it.

What I saw made me want to hug her so tight. She lost weight and her eyes were hollow and no emotions in it.

"Livy! Oh my God! How are you?!" I asked her concerned.

"I'm okay. How about you?" She asked me and I tried to smile to cover the sadness in me.

"I'm good. Are you not eating properly? Have you talked to your dad or Zac?" I asked her because I know that they misses her too.

"Actually, I haven't. I don't know what would I tell them if they asked me why I went here all of a sudden."

Oh... If she only knew that everyone here already knew what happened to her and Nick. But Jowee and I decided not to tell her as this will push her even more.

"Liv, I know you're still hurt from everything but please take care of yourself. Stop neglecting yourself, you need to eat and stop overworking." I advised her and she just nodded.

"I'm okay, Erin. How about you? Are you okay?" She asked all of a sudden.

"O-of course I am. Why won't I?" I stuttered... Why the was she asking me though?

She stared at me for quite a while. If you could see, it was like the screen had froze.

"Olivia?! I think the connection is ba---"

"What did my brother do to you?" She asked making me froze on my seat.

It was a good 30 seconds before I composed myself from the shock.

I chuckled nervously and answered her, "Livy, what do you mean? Zac did nothing to me. Why are you asking that?"

"Erin stop it. I knew everything! Since the first time he was chasing you until you two had a fight two weeks ago." She said and I swear I could see from the screen the blood drains from my face.

What. The. Fuck.

How?! Should I deny this? Yes, yes...

"Livy, are you okay? What are you talking ab---"

"Erin." She called me in a warning tone to not lie again.

I sighed. I guess it's high time to tell her about my relationship with Zac.

"I'm sorry, Livy. I'm really really sorry for not telling you." I apologized and a lone tear escaped my eye.

"I swear we were going to tell you but you and Nick were in this situation so we never had told you. Please forgive me in keeping this from you. I'm so sorry, Olivia. I'm sorry." I repeatedly apologized to her and tears now streaming down my face.

I didn't know why I was crying actually. Was it because I was embarrassed that I let her know it without telling her or the fact that she knew.

"Shhh. Erin, I'm not mad at you. Don't cry, hun. Shhh."

"Livy, I'm so sorry." I apologized again after I cried my eyes out.

"Hun, I told you, I'm not mad. I'm actually happy, you know, because you and my brother are together. However, what I didn't understand was you two were in a fight. It's been weeks now since you had a fight." She said in her most calming voice.

Oh my God, I missed her so bad. If only I could hug her from the screen, I would.

But how did she know? Does this mean she already knew that Zac knew her and Nick's situation?

"Livy, can I just ask, how did you know?" I asked her the million dollar question.

She smiled and winked at me.

"Knew what? Which part?" She teased but her eyes still held it's hollowness.

"Everything."

"I knew from the start that you and my brother has a thing for each other. Then, when Alex began wooing you, I kinda knew that my brother would go out of his way to stop you from dating him. Don't ask me how, I just knew. Then, I was actually with Jowee when we saw Zachary went out of your apartment with a swollen lips. I actually waited for you to have the courage tell me what has been going on with you and my brother. When you had the courage to do so, you used Josie." She grinned through the screen and I gasped.

"Actually, I was the one who told Jowee to tell you that she already knew so that someone would be there for when you need someone to confide in to. I'm sorry though because I never told you this before as I know that my brother is complicating everything. I know if it's only up to you, you'll tell me yourself but I also know my brother. Besides, other than that, I knew you two enjoyed your privacy for months so why the hell would I interfere, right?" She explained.

Oh how understanding you are, Olivia. I hope your brother is also that understanding and not conclude everything he hears or reads.

"Now, Jowee told me that you two had fought and not in a speaking terms. She didn't tell me the reason because it was not her place to tell and you didn't have to also Erin. I just want you to know that whatever's going on with you two, I'm here to listen to you not as her sister but as your best friend."

"Thank you, Livy, but I'm so sorry I can't tell you yet about our fight. We are still sorting this out." I told her because I know for a fact that Zac wouldn't want Livy to know that hd already knew what happened to her. Also, it wasn't my place to tell her that, it's Zac's. Also, if told her that, she will get mad at him and he will get mad at me even more.

So, not now, I need to shut my mouth.

"I understand, Erin. Stay strong though and please don't get tired of understanding Zac. He may look like he's complicated to read, but he's not. Hang tight, E. Don't give up on him just yet." She told me and I nodded.

"I know, Olivia and I wasn't planning on leaving him..." Until of course he said it by himself, I added mentally.

It was true though, if he was the one to end everything, I will walk away from him.

"Thank you, Erin."

"Thank you, Livy. I miss you, WE miss you." I emphasized we because all of us misses her already. Her move was so sudden we never had a proper despedida.

"I miss you all too especially Dylan." She became teary-eyed and for the first time, emotions came flooding in her eyes.

That night, we talked about almost everything. How the employees in Dubai were scared of her especially her secretary there, there was also a guy who's trying to hit on her, the food there, Jones cooking her home cooked meals and pretty much everything.

It sucks Jowee wasn't able to join the call as she was on her flight to London at the moment.

I just hope that whatever me and Olivia we're going through right now, we'll overcome it.

***
I was busy thinking about the project me and my team were planning when my phone chimed in.

Looking at it, I saw a text from Alex telling me that he'll fetch me after office to have dinner with me.

I was actually planning to say no but I agreed because I think this is the time to refuse his feelings towards me. So, I texted him to text me the restaurant because Adrian will drive me there.

I thought he'll be adamant to fetch me from here but surprisingly he sent me the restaurant's address.

By the time 6pm strikes, I went out of the building and told Adrian to go to the restaurant. I didn't bother to change my work clothes as I didn't consider this dinner as a date.

When we were halfway through the restaurant, nervousness started to creep on me. I just hope that whatever I was thinking was wrong and that this dinner was just a friendly dinner.

I swear I didn't want to cut my friendship with Alex but if he really see me as more than friend, I guess I really had to cut my ties with him even if it was hard for me to let him go as a friend.

As we arrived, I told the reception Alex's reservation and he lead us to the back of the restaurant, where the garden was located and it was more intimate and private.

While we were walking along the perfectly cut weeds, I kept telling myself that what I was thinking was wrong. That maybe, he wanted some fresh air while having dinner. Right? Because sometimes, I too needed some fresh air while having my meals. I even eat sometimes at my apartment's balcony.

As we neared our table, I saw his back facing me while looking at the abyss in front of him. He dressed formally tonight, and from the looks of it his back were stiff unlike the playful and boyish look he sported these past few days.

Then as if on cue, he turned around after the wait staff had left us.

I could see seriousness with a hint of nervousness in his eyes but it didn't deter him to give me his infamous cocky smile. So, in return, I gave him a tight-lipped smile.

He was about to hug me but I avoided it by greeting him amd by sitting on the tiffany chair in front of me.

He silently cleared his throat and sat opposite of me.

"You looked tired." He said and I unconsciously held my face.

"Oh. Yeah, lots of things going on in the office." I replied to him awkwardly and he nodded to the waitstaff to signal the food.

"What's the occasion tonight? Is it your birthday?" I asked not wanting to prolong the uncomfortability I am feeling.

"Nope. Not my birthday or anything." He chuckled and stood up, he held my hands and stood me up also. The close proximity we have making so uncomfortable so I tried to take a step back but he held on to me.

"Erin, the first time I saw you, I knew you were different from other women. That you're going to be hard to reach and difficult to woo but then you gave me a chance and I fucked up until I went back to square one. I was actually planning to give up but my feelings for you was really strong so I chased you again. But of course you told me that you only see me as a friend because there's already someone in your heart." He told me nervously but it didn't hinder him.

Oh no.

Please don't make him confess his feelings to me. Please.

"I accepted it though and I gave you up to Zac knowing that he too has the same feelings with you. Who am I to stop you two from your feelings, right. However, seeing how broken you were these past few days and looking at your phone sadly, it made me want to kill Zac for hurting you. I knew nothing of what has been going on with you two but I believe it has to end. I'm so sorry if it came out wrong or abrupt but he's neglecting you."

I took my hand out from his hold and frowned at him.

"I'm sorry Erin and you may say that it's none of my business but I don't like seeing you like this. Choose me Erin. Please choose me, I promise to you that I will never ever hurt you. Please leave Zachary and come to me. I will never hurt you in any way, Erin." He begged.

"Alex, I'm sorr--" he interrupted me by hugging me so tight.

"I love you, Erin. I really do and I'm serious about you." I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying because he was too sincere and I could feel that he really meant it. But I can't reciprocate it.

"Alex" I pushed him slightly for him to look at me. His eyes were hopeful and the love it held was so intense.

"Alex, I'm sorry but I can't accept your feelings although I'm grateful about it. It's unfair for you if I accept your feelings without me reciprocating it. I enjoy your company, I swear, but I only see you as a friend, nothing more nothing less. So I'm so sorry but I can't accept it as Zac still occupies a huge part of my heart." I told him truthfully.

"But---" I interrupted him by cupping his cheeks with both of my hands.

"You deserve someone who will give you an equal amount of love that you give. The one who will choose you no matter what happens. The one who won't make you beg for their love. And that someone isn't me, Alex. I'm sorry." And with that, I kissed his cheek and left him.

I know I shouldn't have left him like that but I can stomach how hurt he was when I declined his love.

So, I'm sorry Alex, even though I was hurt by Zac, I still choose him because I love him.

That night, I went to a bar to drink away the guilt I was feeling. I just hope that he'll get over me soon and not hold grudge against. Also, I hope in the future, we'll be friends again.

"Something's bothering you?" I jumped a little when I heard Niccolo's deep voice beside me.

"It's someone." I replied and drank the tequila shot in front of me. Then, he looked around like he's looking for someone.

"Where's Jowee? Or are you alone?" He asked me. I chuckled because everyone wants to avoid Jowee because she can be a little too intimidating sometimes.

So I assured him, "Don't worry, I'm all alone. You're safe tonight." I sighed.

"Are you alright?" He asked after he ordered a drink from the bartender.

"I'm not, how about you? Still trying to find Livy?" I asked wanting to divert the topic about me. Which was a success though because we talked about how he regretted everything and how determined he was in finding her.

Well, good luck to him, Zac made sure that he won't find her, unless of course fate has its own way.

Hello loves!!!!

Tadaaa. As promised, I uploaded a chapter today. What did you think though? Did you like it? Please give it a vote and comment what you felt! I'm curious.

As always, thank you for reading my book and stay safe you guys!!!

PS. Not proofread.

xo,
kimmypatata