"Find your purpose, find your voice."

It was, unfortunately, time to go to school. I was reluctant to go, I wanted to resume talking to Rachel but I couldn't.

What happened yesterday still felt surreal. I hadn't wrapped my mind around it, yet. But I couldn't just halt everything till I did.

As I opened the doorway, I noticed that virtually every house was hanging the flag. Adam turned on the car as soon as I closed my door. I shivered a little as images that my eyes witnessed crossed my mind. With all the junk I read, yesterday, I only came up with two conclusions.

1) We just started a war that nobody has a clue when it's going to end.

2) I am ostensibly the only one in this country who reckoned that what we did was askew.

'Did you see the news yesterday?' I asked, trying to start a conversation with Adam even though I knew he was unwilling to.

'No, what do you mean?' he said sarcastically.

I sighed 'why didn't you go with them? Don't you work with my dad?'

'That's a great question! You can ask your father that.'

Now it seemed clearer why Adam hated me. I never grasped why my father wanted him to be always with me. When I asked him years ago he said it was for "protection" his job forces him to have enemies or as he stated it "people who don't wish him good" and if these people wanted to really hurt him, they would go straight for his family, he said. It was ironic that he wanted to protect me since I'm 99% sure that father hates me.

It didn't take long for us to arrive, however I was somehow late. Everyone was talking about Ekyaj when I walked through the hallway. None of them realized the amount of grief we caused these people. They were all cheery about the subject. Knocking on the door, Mr. Benson allowed me to come in.

'I'm sorry' I said as I opened the door, looking at the teacher.

'No problem, we just started.'

I nodded and sat on the closest empty chair.

Mr. Benson started emptying his bag and opening the book at the page we stopped at, last time.

'Before we commence,' the teacher said 'I just wanted to take a quick second to congratulate you, or actually us, for the victory that we achieved yesterday.'

The class started clapping, which bewildered me. Since when are these people patriotic?

'We shouldn't take what our military did for granted. It takes years and years for other countries to do this and we just did it in months!'

I did love the fact that our forces are strong. This always made me proud, I loved my country. What I hated was how we used our strength to harm others. For a second, I wished I was like everyone sitting in this room: happy because of our "victory". But the feeling of guilt and the sight of people being torn apart by bombs stalked my mind.

'Not only that, but we succeeded without losing one soldier. And we crashed them like the filthy rats they are!'

I raised my eyebrows at the sentence. I was shocked at the enormous amount of racism and hate that fed these words. Filthy rats? The people he's calling filthy rats had families who were devastated when they heard their demise, had kids who were orphaned after their dad died fighting for their country. What shocked me ever more is that everyone seemed okay with what the teacher has just said.

'Can't we at least respect them?' My mouth suddenly spilled out these words. I have no idea how I said it at loud. I was thinking it inside but I, certainly, wasn't planning to say it. I didn't have the confidence nor the courage. I uncontrollably said them in a mumble tone.

I hoped that no one heard me. However, by the look on their faces it was obvious that they did. Mr. Benson's face blanched. Every bit of sound was vacuumed out of the room. Everyone gawked at me in silence, as if I said something outrageous.

'Can't that crazy bitch just shut up?' Hailee murmured behind me. Raven and Lilly suppressed a giggle, simultaneously. I wasn't really taken away by this. Hailee and her gang made these types of comments all the time.

'Okay, so open your books on page 36 you'll see that-'

Mr. Benson changed the subject, kicking away the predicament. It was, surprisingly, kind of disappointing for me. I realized that I kind of wished he would -kindly- reply to me and explain why Ekyaj was wicked in his eyees. But he didn't. Maybe because the time wasn't right to discuss such a sensitive topic? Or maybe because I was right?

The class ended. I was the last one to get out of the class. My feeling of detestation was still escalating instead of receding. The day was almost over- merely the English class was left. As I walked through the hallway, Rachel's mail crossed my mind. The worst part is feeling like it's my fault. It feels I am the reason of her tears. I wish I could come clean and tell her where I live, but she'll probably never talk to me again.

I entered the last turn that leads to the class. Hailee out of nowhere appeared, standing in front of me. She's been lurking. Becky loomed from my right. When I saw the look on their faces, I immediately swirved around to flee. But I saw Raven and Lilly already standing there crossarmed.

My heart skipped a beat. I looked again at Hailee.

'Look who fell in the trap' Hailee said with a smirk.

'Aww you're scared?' Raven scoffed.

I gulped heavily. Fear creeping in me, I felt the tears forming into my eyes but I tried to hold them back. Again, I looked around at the four of them.

'Answer her, are you scared?' Hailee shouted.

Before I knew it, I was stroke by her fist straight in my face. Losing my balance, I walked backwards a few steps from the sudden jolt. My lungs pulsating quicker, now. I instantly felt blood inside my mouth. I've had enough. It was time to sqeal for help. Just as the first pitch went out, Raven kicked me in the gut with her left leg. I bended and placed both of my hands on my gut from pain. I prayed silently that they would go away. The pain was already unbearable. And they did. Slowly, I heard their steps faltering till it was remote. I didn't see them go because my eyes were closed from agony. I writhed in pain, thus falling on the ground. I placed my forehead on my knees and, finally, allowed the tears to fall.

My keys jiggled as I pulled them out of my pockets. I was worried that I would find Marry when I open the door. The "I accidently fell" excuse was getting tattered. She would stop believing me at some point. I didn't want her to know I was getting beaten at school, I didn't want her to feel like this happens a lot or to feel like it's okay to get bullied. Because if she felt that way she would, eventually, grow up to be like me. And this is the last thing I want. Luckily, she wasn't around when I went in. I guessed that she was in her room.

Rachel has left me a lot of messages. I wanted to tell her about what happened then I realized that the poor girl had just lost her cousin in a war that her country is now involved in with mine. All the pain that I'm feeling is nowhere compared to what she's feeling right now.

I hid my bruises carefully, before I headed to Mary's room. She hasn't been herself, lately, and I knew my parents were way too harsh to care.

I knocked on the door and opened it, after she allowed me. She was laying on her bed with her shoes and blue dress on, looking distraught.

'Hi,' I said with a smile.

'Hi' she answered, without looking at me.

I walked to her bed and sat on my knees to be next to her 'What's wrong, little princess?' I asked when I didn't see her shinny smile.

'Nothing,' she mumbled.

'You don't want to tell me' I asked, padding her.

'It's not that I don't want to tell you.. I'm just a bit scared.'

'To tell me?'

She nodded.

'Mary, never feel scared to tell me anything. Anything. I'm your friend before I'm your sister. Don't hesitate to tell me.'

She finally looked up at me 'why did dad hit that man'

'What man?'

'The man who was on the TV. He hit him with that thing and the man just fell on the floor.'

I realized what she meant. She was way too small to understand this. I awed how I'm going to explain it.

'I asked mom and she told me that I was stupid to ask this' she added.

'Of course, not! Mom is just a little stressed. You are incredibly smart and beautiful. '

A smile frizzled it's way to her lips. 'Isn't it bad to hurt people, Trivina?'

Regardless of her youth and her choice of words, her thoughts were kind of reminiscent to mine. Maybe the fact that I felt what a seven year old feels proved, like my father said, that I was really feeble and naive. However, her question still echoed in my mind. Isn't it bad to hurt people?

Note: all the quotes in the beginning of the chapters are from the amazing book "staying strong" by Demi Lovato.

vote if you enjoyed the chapter because it puts the biggest smile on my face :)