Chapter 38

I ride the highest of highs and lowest of lows for love 

~Nathaniel's Lyric Journal

"Well what do we have here," Mr. Becker said, his sharp eyes looking between us. His voice was low and cold. His voice seemed innocent, no sign of threat, which made it all the more intimidating.  

"I-It's not what you think," Elise tried to rush. Without a single thought, I impulsively took a step in front of Elise. Elise griped my arm tightly, her nails digging into my forearm. If it wasn't for the adrenaline coursing through my body, I would've felt them stinging. 

"What I think?" his tone began to darken. "I see my daughter with a boy alone. It's sinful," he said, his voice remaining slow. "You don't think I know what has been going on?" 

I heard her breathing hard, her finger nails digging into my arm. 

I held Elise behind me, keeping her far from him. I wasn't able to help her in these situations, but now I could.

I haven't done anything like this. Fear was egging my mind, but I tried to push it aside. Elise's grip continued to tighten around my arm, not once lightening her grip. 

Her Dad glared at us, his face turning red. He took a few steps closer to us, his eyes glaring between the two of us.

"Just stay back," I said, feeling my body straighten. 

"Nate," she whispered, feeling her tug on my arm. I placed a comforting hand over hers. 

"You think talking like that makes you a man?" he asked calmly. 

Despite the lack of aggression in his tone, I wanted to hurl. From the corner of my eye, I watched Elise watch her father with weak eyes. She was slightly trembling, and I heard her breathing become more rapid. My own heart was beating out of my chest.

"Well, I don't need to yell," I responded curtly. "Nor do I need to beat woman to be a man."

Elise sucked her breath behind me.  

Mr. Becker's face remained unchanged by my response like I was talking about the weather. 

"She tell you that I hit her? She got a filthy mouth. That's the problem. Like her mother," he responded. The way his eyes glazed almost made it look like he was looking behind me. 

My blood froze when I realized he's looking at Elise. 

I pushed her so she's directly behind me and hidden from his view. 

"Stay back," I warned, though I felt her trying to leave. 

His nostrils flared, and he made a loud noise of disgust. He looked at Elise, who was shrinking away.

I thought that she was trying to shrink away from him, but then she let go of my arm.

Then I realized she was shrinking away from me.

I turned to grab here arm.

"Let me go," she pleaded me softly with another tug of her arm. I looked at her father, who took a step forward with his arms planted by his side. I noted his fisted hands, and it only conjured up images of him hitting her.

I pushed her behind me, refusing to let her go.

"Can't you see son? She doesn't want to stand next to you. She knows her place. After everything I have done for her," he began, taking a few steps closer. 

I didn't want to think about what will happen after I'm gone. I can't go back to my house knowing that he would hurt her in ways that were probably worse than before.

Fuck the couple of days before she turns eighteen.

I was going to get her out now.

"I know what you do. I've seen the bruises," I said.  

She didn't go behind me willingly, requiring a bit of force for her to move. I turned my head slightly to see her eyes kept glancing at the figure in front of me. I felt Elise pull away with shame. She was shaking harder.

I knew this was hurting her-every word coming out of my mouth was agony to her. I wasn't sure whether I was expected to let her go and live with the fact if anything happens it's my fault or pull her back against the will.

Noticing her reaction, Mr. Becker laughed.

"She needed discipline, which is in my right here when someone is misbehaving," he said, his tone remaining cool. 

"I wonder what will happen if I show the cops-" 

My voice immediately cut off when I felt something pressing down my throat. I heard Elise scream which was interrupted by my windpipe being cut off. 

Seeing dark spots in my vision, I placed my hand to feel a pair of hands around my neck. 

"Stop it," I heard Elise cry. 

"You think you can threaten me?" he yelled into my ear. 

My breath grew shallow, my hands going for the hands wrapped around my neck. My heart started racing, fighting against the air that I can't seem to pull in. 

 "Let him go," I heard.  

Next thing I knew, I felt myself crumple onto the ground. I twisted myself to crash on the ground on my back. The right side of my body was sore from that fall, but I got up. She shrunk away when he started to yell, still holding her arm.

Looking up, I saw Mr.Becker holding Elise's arm and aggressively dragging her back to the house. 

I got up slowly, my hand landing on my throat. 

"You better stay the hell away," he warned. 

Elise got up to put her hands up, somehow managing to put herself between us before I could even process it.

"I will talk to him. Just don't hurt him please. If you let me talk to him, I will come back. No objections," she pleaded with him, hands up that almost made her appear vulnerable. Her dad was looking between us, staring at me for a long time before he nodded to Elise.

He pointed to a spot a reasonable distance from us.

"I will stand right there," he informed us.

He took several steps back that was halfway across his yard. We both watched him as he was looking at us for a few moments before he turned his head slightly away.

No longer giving a shit about his presence, I turned back to Elise.

"What are you doing? He's going to hurt you," I hissed to her quietly. She shook her head.

"I have to do this," she whispered back, glancing at her Dad. She wiped her eyes quickly, looking at me again with sheer determination.

I wanted to tell to Elise  it was a bunch of bullshit, but I stopped when I saw her watery eyes. Her figure was visibly trembling violently, and her breathing grew heavy. I pulled her a couple of steps away from her father so he is at a distance he couldn't hear it.

"He's manipulating you," I protested. "He's trying to separate us, can't you see?" 

She nodded like she was aware and reached for my hand and gripped it tightly. Her eyes were pleading for reasoning, but I couldn't.

"If I don't go with him. He's going to hurt you. I will be okay being in there, but I don't want you there," she said. "There's nothing we can do." 

I shook my head.

"I want you to come back with me. Don't leave with him right now. Please. Just don't go," I begged.

I was ready to go down on my knees, and drag her away with me. Her eyes softened at my pleading tone, and she looked at her father one more time. She didn't smile at him like she did with me, but my heart dropped when she turned back to me just to shake my head.

"If I go back to you, it will be messy. I have to go. Please," she explained to me.

"I won't let you," I insisted.

Her face hardened.

"Let me go," she said, tugging her her hand away. It only made me grip it more tightly.

I shook my head. "Are you nuts?"

"No," she snapped. "I'm not. You have no idea what you are up against."

"It doesn't matter," I insisted to her, occasionally glancing at him. "We have to stick together."

She shook her head, her eyes flaring with annoyance and anger. "It won't work."

I closed my eyes and groaned, feeling the own side of my head throb. I felt a soft hand on my jawline, and I saw her forcing me to look at her. Her eyes were clear. A little watery but a clear, crystal blue.

"I'm sorry for saying that. I just have to go with him, that is the only way. I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm doing this because I love you. Don't worry about me. I will be fine, but I need you to be here. I have been dealing with this all of my life, and I know how to handle him," she said with a hopeful smile.

I looked at her Dad, wanting to believe her so damn badly. My grip on her hand tightened. I wanted to punch him until he was lifeless on the ground. I looked back on Elise, who was only eyeing her Dad except she wasn't scared. She turned back to me with a strong determination.

"Don't ask me to let you go," I croaked, holding onto her as tightly as I can.

Pain streaked across her face at my request. She sighed, closing her eyes for a few moments before opening up at me.

"I'll be back at our usual spot tonight. Where we always meet. Better see you there," she said casually with a smile on her face.

An incredulous look grew on my face, trying to comprehend why was she saying that like it was going to happen. We both knew that it wasn't. I was the similar pleading look on her face that I saw earlier, and it clicked to me what she was trying to do.

Normalcy.

She wanted to pretend that everything was going to be okay. That was what she needed right now.

I shook my head, feeling my eyes sting with pain as every inch of my body was screaming at me to do something. But I was motionless, looking at Elise's hopeful face.

She nodded. "Bring your guitar, and I will bring my art supplies like we use to. Wouldn't it be fun?"

Stop it, Elise. I can't pretend anymore.

I took a deep breath before nodding blankly, allowing her to have that peace though my stomach was in pain with all the stress that was building up in my mind. I hated this pretend game where everything will be okay. It's an old game that I have played too long that I know how it always end.

But she smiled at me. That familiar beautiful smile that told me that wasn't always there in my life. It was a smile that was disarming. Her teeth gleaming that contested her pink lips that were pulled back.

It was lulling me to let her go.

"Can I tell you something though before I do?" I said.

She nodded silently, waiting for me to say what I wanted to say.

"You're my hero."

Tears were streaking down her face, which she wiped quickly. She looked at me with longing, looking at my face like she wanted to say something. Instead, I felt her grip tighten before she loosened them.

She looked at me.

"I'll see you soon, Yankee," she whispered hoarsely before pulling herself away.

I let her slip away, and watched her walk past to her father. He leaned in and whispered something in her ears. She looked up at him, turned to me quickly, and walked into the kitchen slowly.

I wanted to call for her back, fight for him hard, but I let her go even when she entered her home, without her father following in.

He took a few steps closer to me.

"I don't want you to see her again. The next time I see you with her here, I will use my gun next time. Understood?"

He didn't wait for my response before he turned back and slammed the back door shut. I stood there in silence, trying to take deep breaths and watching the back door.

It suddenly hit me know that she said she loved me.

I've made a huge mistake.

I lost her.

Without any thought, I ran back into my house. I slammed the back door in front of me. My mind was buzzing at what happened. If my brother and Dad weren't in the house, I would've screamed. My body twitched at the thought of breaking something. These familiar feelings haven't appeared since Mom died.

This was an endless cycle.

I picked up the phone, immediately dialing the first name that came into my head. I smashed the phone to my ear, the phone shaking as it was dialing from my trembling hands.

"Hey. What's up?" a familiar voice greeted me.

"You need to come now." 

"Are you okay?" David asked me, opening the backyard gate as he walked closer to me. I was still sitting in the back chair, surrounded by four empty beer bottles as my guests. First, I had them to try to relax, but I know it was because I wanted to feel better.

And get rid of the shitty feelings I have been experiencing.

I shook my head. "No. I'm not okay."

My voice went quiet and distant. The alcohol made me unable to say nothing but a few words. My mouth was dry at the thought of trying to explain everything that happened. My chest has been in constant pain since the drinking began that doesn't show any promise of disappearing.

I felt myself slipping away.

I kept thinking about the way I would hold Elise.

How my hands would wrap around her waist, holding her close to me.

How she always smelled like strawberries ripe on a summer day.

How her lips were fucking soft against mine.

How she told me she loved me.

I'm doing this because I love you.

I only wished I told her that I loved her too.

David touched my arm, snapping my mind back to the current reality. I blinked a few times at David, who had a concerned look. He was still standing, hands in his pocket while staring at me curiously.

"I'm sorry," was all I whispered. My eyes were growing misty and the pain in my chest grew exponentially. My throat was closing up because I would have to tell David, how I let Elise go back to that monster.

David took a seat next to me, eyebrows furrowing as he was trying to decode my crumbled expression.

"Sorry for what?" he asked.

"I'm sorry for everything," I said, appreciating his presence that I didn't realize how much I missed him until I saw his face.

His eyes slightly widened.

"Is that what this is all about? I'm sorry as well. I should've told you earlier. You were right about everything," David said, his head hung in shame.

I kept shaking my head furiously, Elise's face was plastered in my mind. "I'm sorry, David. I'm so sorry."

David sat there for a moment, watching me with a greater look of concern before frowning.

"What is going on, Nate?" He asked. "Is everything okay."

I couldn't say a single word. My mouth would open but no words would come out. My head was hung low, and my vision was misty from the tears that were pooling in my eyes.

"Is it your family?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Is it Elise?" he tried again.

This time, I didn't say anything, not moving a single inch. I couldn't make myself to do so. Moving only seemed to showed that I let Elise go and I have put her in danger.

I looked up, feeling a tear streak across my face. David looked at the tear with high alarm, and he stiffened.

"What about her? Is she okay?" he asked, reading my face for any sign that this could be a joke.

"I don't know," I moaned like a pathetic loser.

I should've done more. I didn't know how was she right now or what she could be doing. After she left, I could only think about the noise of her being hit and her cries that followed. Laying on the lawn chair only seemed to have conjured every scenario that could come into my mind.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

My fingers bit into my palms painfully as I took a few shuddering breathes.

"Nate. I need you to tell me what happened," David asked in a shaky voice.

"Her dad caught us together," I finally whispered like it was a dirty secret.

It was out. My failure was out for David to witness. His facial expression dropped, his eyes widened with horror. Now his face was reflecting my crappy mood. He shifted quickly to look at Elise's home, his breathing growing heavy as he was doing the same thing as I was: imagining.

"Fuck," he shouted. He turned to me. "And you let her go to him?"

I rubbed my eyes from frustration.

"I didn't know what to do," I croaked. "She kept telling that it was the only way, and that isn't even fucking true. I let her go David. I didn't want to, and everything about it felt wrong but I fucking did it like a coward. I lost her."

Just like I lost Mom.

I watched David plant his elbows on his knees, his hand going over his face as he understood the reality of the situation. He didn't say anything for a few moments, his rapid breathing transitioned to slow breaths. His body didn't move a single muscle. His fingers were tangled in his blonde hair.

Then he got up. This time, he seemed different.

"She's right. It would've been worse if you interfered for both you and Elise," David informed me calmly. His eyes were stoic and his mouth was taut. "What are we going to do?"

I stood up from my chair, swinging my legs over so they were planting the ground.

"We?" I repeated his word.

David glanced at me, and rolled his eyes. "Yes, we. You're not dealing with this asshole alone. You don't have to."

Feeling a rush of gratitude, I got up and reached in for a hug.

"Thank you," I said. David hugged me back tentatively before pulling away from me.

He reached for the opened beer that I left next to me.

"No problem, but jeez you need to lay off the alcohol. It's making you a total sap," he said, pouring out the beer onto the lawn before handing me back the empty bottle.

"Elise's birthday is in a couple of days. She's sticking to this plan of waiting," I said, shaking my head to her decision even though I knew why she wanted to wait. "I'm going to fucking kill that man."

"Join the club," David muttered, glancing at the home one more time before turning back to me. "Call her tonight. I'll do the same, and let Sabrina know what is going on. If no one hears from Elise in the next twenty-four hours, we are going to the police. If they are not being helpful, we will make them helpful or break her out ourselves. What do you think?"

It sounded like a great idea in theory, but I couldn't wrap my head around it. It was too simple. Too clean cut for something this messy.

It was like Mom's plan. It sounded simple, but the ending was anything but. I was there for Mom, following her clearly drawn path, but the line didn't lead to where I needed to be, and now she's gone.

And now Elise is next.

"Sounds good," I lied, feeling bad I couldn't fully believe that it would work.

David eyed me for a minute before asking, "Why do you sound unsure?"

I took a few breathes, trying to gather enough to composure to tell David I'm okay.

"What if I am failing her like I did with Mom. What if I lose her too?" I asked him instead, looking away from his questioning glance.

"What happened to your Mom was outside of your control, Nate."

I shook my head.

"I could've been there for her more. She could've used someone on the day that she-"

"Maybe all she wanted from you was to hold her hand. Have you ever thought of that?" David interrupted me. I fell silent, which appeared to encourage him to keep talking. "People don't make decisions like that quickly, Nate. It doesn't seem like she wanted you to save her. It seems like that she just wanted you to hold her hand."

I didn't say anything, listening to his words mutely. My hands were itching for a fresh beer, but I know that wasn't what I needed right now.

And Elise doesn't need me to rescue her.

"You're probably right," I said before I yawned. 

David nodded. "You need to sleep. You look like shit."

I glared at David before he gave me his casual smirk.

"Ass," I muttered under my breath. "But thank you, David."

He got up from the chair, the smirk disappearing for a moment. "No problem. I'm just glad we are on better terms again."

That was all he said before he left back from the gate entrance he arrived from. I watched him as he went back into his red pick-up truck and drove off back to his home I am guessing. I wasn't sure where else David would be at midnight.

I picked up the empty bottles to put in for recycling, and I entered my quiet home. It was dark since everyone was sleeping. I was exhausted. I slowed down in the hallway, looking at Carlo's door before looking at my Dad's ajar bedroom door. I see his shadow, slightly moving as he is breathing peacefully in his sleep.

I looked away quickly, feeing emotions overwhelm at him and Gina before rushing into my dark room before my haunting thoughts could beat me to it.

I shut the door behind me, sighing from the long day. I ran my finger over the light switch and the room dimly light up.

The first thing I noticed was the open window. I sighed and walked over to shut it. I quickly stripped down to my boxers before crawling into bed. Feeling the soft mattress creak under my weight with familiarity and the whirring sound of the fan above me, was lulling me into a dull sleep.

It wasn't until I felt something on me.

Without any hesitation, I grabbed the person and jerked him to the ground.

That was before I heard a faint cry in pain.

I froze at the sound. I turned on the lamp light.

"What the hell?"

Elise was standing in front of me, covered in bruises.