Chapter 17

I'm learning a lot
Lately the nights slip by so slow
And I can't help looking back. What happened?

~Nathaniel's Lyric Journal

I COULDN'T SLEEP THAT NIGHT.

The only thing on my mind was Rose Miller. I thought the obsession died, but the minute I saw her name, the only thing I could think about was finding her. David invited me to hang out with his friends at a party, I opted for a night of beer and hours of searching for Rose Miller on the internet and social media.

Four beers in, Rose was still no where to be found.

Shoved my laptop aside on the side table and shuttled deeper into the couch.

I could ask Dad but he was passed out. After the party, him and his friends decided to drink more than anticipated so my Dad for the first time ever got drunk and feel into a deep sleep. It was just close to midnight when this happened.

I went on Netflix and played Mama Mia on the screen. Esteban was into movies and film and suggested a "fun" movie for me to watch. I was already distracted after it played for twenty seconds, the alcohol making me restless and itching to talk to someone.

Hey. It's Nate. Are you awake? I texted Elise.

She responded immediately.

Yes? Are you okay?

Me: No. I'm bored and watching Mama Mia

Elise: I love that movie!!! How could you be bored! Ugh, I wish I was there I would totally watch it.

Me: Come join. Could use the company

Elise: Like what? As a phone call?

Me: Sure....or you can come and hang out with me

Elise: Uhh wouldn't your dad notice I was there late? Probably wouldn't be okay with that lol

Me: He's passed out so dw about that

After a few moments, she stopped responding.

Then my phone buzzed.

Elise: I will be there in 10

My mind fell into a drunk, hazy joy about Elise coming. Any exhaustion I had before was replaced with excitement about her coming. I texted her randomly but never thought she would actually be interested. I forced my mind to focus on the movie, increasing the volume with the hops that the movie will drown out my thoughts.

My phone buzzed a while later.

Elise: im at your backdoor

I got up quickly and rushed towards the kitchen. I saw Elise standing outside in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Her hair was down, slightly damp from a shower and her face was clear under the yellow house light.

I opened the door quickly.

"Hey," she said quietly.

I waved like an idiot.

"Hey. Come on in," I invited her. I closed the backdoor when she walked in. I placed one hand on her lower back to guide her into the living room.

"Want a beer?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Sure," she said. I went around to grab a beer from the ice cooler Dad left around. While I was focusing on opening her beer, she was focused on the empty bottles neatly lined up where I was sitting. "You had four already."

I opened a beer for myself and took a swig. "Your point?"

"Your liver is going to look like a beanbag by this rate," she responded, taking the beer and taking her own sip.

I chuckled. "It's beer. There's barely any alcohol in it."

"But-"

"Shhhhh," I placed my hand over her mouth and gestured to the movie still playing. "I appreciate your concern about me. Just watch the film with me."

I plopped back on the sofa, watching Meryl Streep sing about her dreams. She was singing Mama Mia, I hummed along to the song as the chorus started again. She took a seat next to me.

"I love this movie a lot," she said.

"My friend recommended it to watch. It's fine," I agreed. We watched the song sequence. I turned and noticed that her beer was already almost empty.

"You already finished it?" I asked. Before she could answer I pointed to the cooler, "Go have another."

She frowned.

"I don't know. I would feel bad," she responded slowly.

I got up to get another beer for her. I opened the beer bottle and handed it to her.

"Don't be. A little alcohol won't kill you, princesa. It makes things more fun," I said with a big grin on her face, adding to the taunting tone of my voice.

She rolled her eyes.

"I didn't know wrecking my liver was considered fun," she joked.

She made a joke.

To me.

That made me smile even bigger.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Just have another."

"Fine, Yankee," Elise conceded with a light laugh, taking a long sip before looking back at me. Her eyes trailed down my body before looking back up. Her eyes widened, her eyebrows were shot up, and her breathing grew a little heavy.

"Uh. Are you good? You have a weird look on your face," I asked, finishing half of the beer already. Feeling my head getting more fuzzy, I put the beer aside to take a break from drinking.

"Could you...maybe put on a shirt or something?"

I looked down and realized that I was just in my pajama shorts. I didn't even think about putting on a shirt.  

"Sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? I'll get a shirt," I apologized quickly, getting up and walking towards my room to get a random shirt that was on my nightstand. When I walked passed my Dad's room, I leaned in to hear his loud snoring. Hopefully with the distance from the living room to his bedroom, he won't hear anything while we have some fun.

Feeling little adventurous, I went back to my room to grab my flask. I also went to the kitchen to down a glass of water and grabbed some sliced limes and two shot glasses that Dad's friend brought for the party. When I walked back into the living room, Elise was curled up in the couch. Her legs were tucked in, her arms were crossed over, a beer in one hand, and she had a smile on her face.

I froze by the entrance, looking at the sight while she was focused on the movie.

A few moments later, her eyes fell on my figure. She pointed to the objects in my hand.

"Where did you get that?" she asked.

I sat down, placing the shot glasses on the side table.

"My dad had a party remember? Also half of my family is Mexican so obviously we have tequila on retainer," I answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world, mostly because it was.

My eyes narrowed as I tried to pour the contents in the flask into the shot glass. Luckily, she did not protest, watching me pour with fascination.

She took a shot glass and held it up to me with a shit eating grin.

"Salud," I toasted. Our glasses clink before I downed the drink and sucked on the lime wedge.

Elise downed the shot before gagging loudly.

"Holy shit how are you drinking this?" she wheezed, holding her throat.

I held up a lime wedge.

"Have to suck on the lime after drinking it, love," I said before laughing at the fact she didn't do it.

"Let me try again," she insisted.

She reached over me to pour her self another shot. Her body was warm, her legs pressing against mine and I enjoyed every second of it. I can confirm she took a shower because her hair was a little damp and had a strong scent of strawberries. The scent shot me right into my chest.

She took the shot and immediately put the lime into her mouth.

"Wow that lime really helped," Elise before she started to giggle loudly. She covered her mouth as she started to laugh loudly, her face matched her eyes. Both were so bright that it made my stomach flip three times over.

I couldn't help it. She was beautiful. Her messy blonde hair and her smooth skin. She was settled into the sofa, her head leaned back and exposing her neck. I swallowed, thinking about how badly I want to run my hands through her hair and kiss her down her throat.

"Hey Elise," I said, interrupting my own thoughts.

"Hmmm," she said, a faint smile appearing on her lips.

"What was your first thought when you met me?" I asked.

"I-" her eyes flickered to my mouth and looked up to hold my gaze. "I don't know. I guess sad. You looked really sad about something. I guess since we are asking questions now, what did you think of me?"

I shrugged, taking another sip from my bottle.

"Honestly? You looked pretty in the rain," I answered too honestly, not giving a damn when her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a faint red. 

She hit my arm lightly.

"Shut up, Yankee."

"No I swear. It's not even fair," I insisted. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

She shook her head.

"Not really. I mean I have tried but there is just no connection," she reminded me. I held my smile, though her comment hampered my mood.

"Not even with Jackson?" I blurted out.

Elise gasped loudly

"So you did know about that?" she gasped, hitting my arm again before I started to laugh.

"I don't know about anything. Jackson said some things but not really, I'm just teasing," I said jokingly.

To be honest, I didn't care if she did hook up with him in the past. She is her own self. I only care if she liked me, and the fact she rejected him brought me a deep level of glee I didn't want to admit.

"What did he say?" she said. 

"Honestly...He said warned me not to hook up with you because you're a tease," I said before laughing.

She rolled her eyes. She took a swig of beer.

"Jackson is a douche who thinks he's better than everyone," she muttered to her self.

I held up my beer in solitude.

"I can toast to that," I said. We clinked drinks before taking another sip. "So if he's not in the picture, is there a guy in the picture?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean are you interested in anyone?"

Her eyes darted on my mouth again and shook her head.

"Not really. What about you?" she asked.

I took another sip to hide the disappointment.

"Not really," I said, focusing on her eyes. After a few moments, Elise turned towards the TV, watching the movie while I focused on her.

After a few moments I said,"Blue."

She turned to look at me again.

"What?" she asked.

"Blue. You said what was my first thought of you. I lied. My first thought was blue because you have the bluest eyes I have seen," I answered bluntly.

Her eyes widened and a blush fell on her cheeks. She gave a faint smile and was about to say something.

My minds thought about how comfortable her sweatshirt looks on her. Warm and soft to the touch like her skin. It was loose on her, meaning that it would be so easy to run my hands under it and-

Get your head out of the gutter.

We had more beer and the time was blurring. Elise suddenly got up, giggling loudly when a familiar song appeared in the movie. I had to shush her from waking up Dad which only made her laugh louder. She got up and started singing to the next song that came up. At this point, I was laying completely on the sofa, legs completely stretched out, both hands under my head and looking at Elise.

Her eyes were never taken off of me, singing extremely off tune and her hands were waving around.

"If you're all alone. When the pretty birds have flown honey I'm still free. Take a chance on me," Elise continued to sing, rocking her hips each note as off key as before.

But I laughed because she was absolutely adorable.

"If you put me to the test, if you let me try."

I grinned so wide and started to laugh. My hands fell onto my stomach, unable to stop laughing. She stopped dancing, was standing there in her sweats watching me. My hands were clutching my stomach tightly, fighting every urge right now to hold her. Her arms fell by her side, and her smile disappeared. My mind wondered if her breathing felt just as heavy as mine.

"Don't stop. I was enjoying the show," I teased hoarsely.

She wrapped her arms around herself.

"My voice is bad. It can't be that good," she responded.

"Well I disagree."

"You think I have a good voice?"

"No. I think you are off key. I meant I disagree with that it can't be a good show. I was enjoying it."

She rose an eyebrow. A dainty hand fell onto her hip.

"Well if my voice is that bad then you should sing. Join me," she said.

I laughed.

"I don't sing, remember? Also I don't know this song very well," I protested.

"Just do it!" she protested. She came up and pulled my arm. She quickly rushed towards my legs and dragged them off the couch before pulling on my hands to drag me upright. Because I was much larger, she was struggling to do it but it was cute to watch her try.

It was enough to make me get up.

"Fine. Only because you asked," I said, feeling the beat rush through me. I closed my eyes, feeling my foot tapping to the music and everything just flowing easy. There was no numbing feeling in my chest. Hopelessness was not weighing down on my shoulders.

For the first time, I felt truly free.

"If you change your mind. I'm the first in line. Honey, I'm still free. Take a chance on me," I sang quietly, keeping my voice level to not wake up Dad though I could've sang it louder. I closed my eyes, feeling my hands wander up in the air doing something I have no clue.

It's confirmed. I was drunk.

"If you need me, let me know. Gonna be around. If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down," I continued, singing until my mouth was parched. When the song was reaching the end, I decided to quit in the middle and finished my beer, and I saw Elise sitting on the couch, smiling at me so innocently.

I sat down on the couch next to her.

"You have a nice voice," she responded. "I'm glad I got to hear it."

Realizing I sang out loud to someone for the first time, I grinned.

"Thanks for that," I said, hoping that I would remember this tomorrow. Now just the singing, just her being there.

"You have nice eyes too, by the way. Have I told you that?" she said randomly.

I craned my neck.

"You have. I don't believe you though."

Elise mouth opened with shock.

"Why?"

"Because who says that about brown eyes? Brown eyes are boring. Everyone has them. People care about green eyes or blue eyes," I countered.

She shook her head.

"No. I promise. Yours are warm and inviting," she insisted. I started to laugh.

That was a first.

"You're messing with me," I concluded.

"I'm not, Yankee," she shuffed.

"Nope."

"Yankee."

"Nope."

"Nathaniel-"

"Lies."

Elise leaned forward and placed her hand on each side of my face. She scooted closer, pulling me towards her face. We were only a few inches a part, and our eyes were only locked on each other. The smell of tequila, lime, and her tantalized my senses. Her warm hands on my face radiated something strong. I kept my hands clenched on my lap because at that moment, all I wanted to do was grab her close to me.

"Trust me okay when I say it. You have pretty brown eyes," she demanded. "Tell me you have pretty brown eyes."

The room suddenly felt dizzy and I was worried if I say something, it would all go away.

"I have pretty brown eyes," I repeated.

She laughed.

"Thanks, Yankee," she responded, her breathing getting heavier.

After so long of fighting, my hands reached out to touch her waist. I gripped them, feeling her inch a little closer. She left out a soft moan that turned into a sweet sigh, causing my body to stir.

"So they aren't boring huh?" I said. "You sure." 

"Pretty sure." Her breath was brushing my mouth. I waited for her to pull away, but she stood there, her breaths getting more heavy. Our eye contact never broke, feeling a connection that I never felt with anyone else.

And on that moment, I leaned in to kiss her.

She was like an old song you heard again after years of not hearing. She brings me to familiar content state once again. She became alive, wrapping her arms around my neck. My mind was clouded, and any rational thought became background noise. Her body was always something but feeling it under my hands made my own body feel like it's on fire.

Her lips was intoxicating, and I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop focusing on her soft lips, making my mind go into overdrive. We sunk into the couch, my hands roaming her lower back. She arched against me, feeling every inch of her. Her hands shifted, her hands holding me around my neck.

When my grip became tighter, she stiffened. I pulled back and watch something flash over her fact. Perhaps it was shock or disappointment, but it wasn't a happy feeling. She inched back from me, cheeks slightly flushed and breathing hard.

Her face seemed dismayed.

She wasn't happy.

Then a thought occurred to me.

Did you forget? She doesn't even feel anything when she kisses boy.

She even told you she didn't feel anything.

I fucked up. Every curse word I could think of crossed my mind.

"I'm sorry for doing that," I muttered, feeling embarrassment.

Elise's eyes becoming misty.

I stood there, wanting to ask her why, but I knew. She kept looking at me, not sure what to say. I wasn't focused on that but rather than what she said. She warned me from the start that she couldn't feel a damn thing for any guy she has been with.

She wasn't going to start feeling anything out of the blue.

"I should maybe get home before anyone notices I'm here," she said quietly.

I nodded wordlessly, getting up with her to walk her to the kitchen. I should've said something but I was too drunk to find the right words. I was so out of it I could only stand there, open the door to let her out, and look at her.

She gave a quick wave.

"I will see you soon," she said. With that, she turned around and walked away without a second glance. I watched her walk away in distress, angry at myself for fucking up but also confused at what just happened. How we went from joking to kissing to awkwardness quickly.

I closed the door and leaned against it.

I needed to get out of here. My mind was already thinking about how I fucked everything up. I didn't want to think about it. No, I just wanted to push it all away.

God, I was doing such a good job before.

I pulled out my phone, dialed the contact in my head, and waited to the person to pick up.

"You good, Nate?" David asked. I heard some background noises, which brought me some relief because that meant he was still out.

"Yeah man. You still out?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I changed my mind. I want to go out. Can you pick me up?"

Author's Note: I apologize for any grammar errors! This is my favorite scene yet. I wanted something fun for them since they never got that in the last two drafts. What do you think?