Hahahaha......hahahaha...that is the sound of my luck laughing at me...wanna know why????because, for one the man I loved was getting married to someone else and if that was not enough I am being forced to make merry at the reason for my misery,yes yesterday nyonica aunty came to our house to speak with appa ,ever since manik's engagement have been announced I have been avoiding her or any malhotra for that matter,I have began showing that I am extremely busy and have no time,I didn't have the courage to attend his engagement,no I can't how could I ...it felt like serving my heart to someone on a platter,I was weak very weak and I have no qualms admitting that.

But 2 days prior to engagement nyonica aunty came to our house ,as usual I made an excuse of studies, but just as I was about to go to my room she stopped me.

Nandini,you have been so busy,is this how you behave with your favourite Aunty??? Hmmm??

No aunty nothing like that...

I tried looking everywhere else but her.

Ok if that's the case then tomorrow you are coming to our place,
You know I have no idea of these rasam and pooja and I need someone to help me...so you are coming and I won't take no for an answer...please nandini help me.

I had no idea what to say how could I tell her that I couldn't come there and watch my love with someone else, but then I thought that it was  important that I be there as only then could I get over manik

FACE IT TO FORGET IT!!!

Gearing myself up ,I got ready and reached malhotra mansion,I was sure I was brave and could face him but I guess I was wrong.

As I reached there I saw manik with his friends and of course soha. Apparently all were forcing him to sing but he was reluctant to give in,and then soha walked upto him and said

Mani please ,for me as my engagement gift,if you love me???

I really hoped that he refuses  proving he don't love her but....again I had to see my hopes crushed he took the guitar and started singing the song which clearly indicated his love for her

DIL KO TUM SE PYAAR HUA from RHTDM

It was really ironic as through the song manik was saying that soha was his first love and here with every passing second I was losing my first love.

I didn't have the courage to stand there and see and hear more,so I ran upwards controlling my tears and got inside the first room I saw and finally broke down and cried my heart out.

Frankly I don't know how long I stood there crying ,finally after a long while,I realised that I should move out as Nyonica aunty would be looking for me,finding a bathroom in the room I quickly cleaned myself,though my eyes were red but after washing with water my appearance seemed  presentable. As I came out wiping the water off I spotted a mirror and walked towards it and after cleaning my face stood there but as soon as I saw my reflection fresh tears formed in my eyes as though I was ready to act as the brave nandini but my mirror image depicted the weak and broken nandini.

Suddenly I saw Manik beside me and I thought may be I was dreaming with my eyes open,he leaned and whispered

I found you

And in a dazy state ,I whispered back.

But I lost you!!!

What?????

It was then that my trance broke and I realised that manik was actually  standing behind me,I started fumbling for an  answer and said I lost my way,as it was after very long I was visiting the mansion,he laughed at my clumsiness and took me to nyonica aunty.

I spend the rest of the day in preparing for pooja and helping aunty in anyway which way possible,some may consider me as a brave girl for doing this some may even consider me stupid,but I didn't care I was just a girl helplessly,unconditionally and irrevocably in love with someone who was never mine.

And that said I was unconditionally in love with him which meant that I shouldn't be putting forth a condition that my love should love me back . I was not being great here its just that I didn't have the courage to confess my love and make a fool out of myself.

It was hard...very hard being so close to manik and though I tried to not wander my eyes to manik the sight of him attracted my EYES like some magnetic force and more than a couple of times he caught me staring at him dreamily,I allotted this last day for my self to look at him as he still was not taken at least not officially.

Finally I completed my work and went to nyonica aunty to bid her a good bye .She tried hard convincing me to stay back but  I finally managed to convince her to let me go.

She asked Manik to drop me home,though I insisted on taking a cab but one insistence by manik and I agreed immediately,the ride was of course silent and as I neared home my heart got heavier ,I had dreamt of sitting with manik all my life but I didn't know my first would be my last.Finally I reached home and wished him goodnight almost choking on the words

Goo....goodnight ..m..manik!!!

Goodnight nandini
and thanks for being so kind and helping with the arrangements,mom would have gone mad with all this. And yes come early tomorrow now that we are on talking terms I can demand my Friend's presence on my engagement.

I just nodded and went inside as I reached home I saw manik still there he waved me bye and I returned him back knowing that I was losing a part of me forever.