Tiana POV

Frantic. I feel frantic.

We're all at the cafe and Tyson and his friends are laughing at a joke Xavier had said. But I don't know what the joke was. But I don't know why they're laughing. I don't know why their eyes lit up.

Because I'm frantic.

Because I see all these people wearing the same type of clothes and saying the same sort of things and they all look the same to me. All of them so desperate to follow the trend. To follow the crowd. To gain the approval of those that they don't know. All of them looking the same, like sheeps in a herd. They all merge together to form the same people.

It's scary how much our need for validation leads us in our lives.

It's scary how I'm a part of them.

"Hey, I need to go to the bathroom," I say, running off to the bathroom without waiting for a response. I hear a few sounds of protest behind me but I pay them no heed.

Once I'm inside, I splash water on my face, wiping my face thoroughly. I grip the edges of the sink and look at the mirror and I can't help but be disgusted by my reflection. Who is this creature that's so desperate for comfort she actually allowed herself the comfort of someone else's house? So desperate for someone's care that she settled for fake love? So desperate for validation? For belonging? For hope?

"Hey," a voice behind me says and I spin around, gripping the edge of my hoodie to ground myself.

Nina stands at the doorway, looking away from me guiltily, her long blond hair covering her face.

"Glad to see you're still alive," she says awkwardly, looking up at me.

"He forced me alive," I tell her, my voice strained.

"I'm sorry for being rude to you that day," she tells me.

"I didn't mind," I tell her.

"I just... when I was a kid I never got my parents attention. They never gave me the time of day. Just bought me whatever I wanted and left me alone. That... spiralled into a deep need for attention from those around me, at least that's what my therapist said, and when I saw his attention focused on you... I didn't like it. So I'm really really sorry. I really am. Please forgive me," she says, looking at me pleadingly.

Desperate for approval.

"It's not my approval that you need. It's yours. You're worth it if you feel you're worth it. Everyone else is just a distraction," I tell her, trying to quiet down the voice that screams at me about being a hypocrite.

"Easy to say, hard to do," she says, looking defeated.

"If life were easy then it wouldn't be life," I tell her.

"I suppose so," she says, a small smile one her face.

She's like them. With her pretty hair and face full of make up, she's trying to look like them. But if you look closer, there's a lot more there. A lot more than pretty hair and a pretty face. Maybe she's hiding it from the world, but who wouldn't? Who wouldn't when the world is so cruel to anyone who breathes the wrong way? When the world wreaks havoc on those who sees things differently than them. Who wouldn't when all we're allowed to be is all that everyone else wants us to be?

"Thank you," I say.

"For what?" she asks, surprised.

"Just... thank you," I say. Her eyes softens and she nods.

I walk out the door. She stops me.

"How are you?" she asks when I glance back at her.

"I thought I was getting better but.." I trail of, my quivering fingernails digging into the skin of my arms. "It's getting worse now."

"I'm sorry. You have my number. You can call me whenever," she offers, a hesitant but genuine smile on her face. I can see in her eyes though that she doesn't believe I'll call her or anyone.

She's right.

So I nod and go back to them, the same empty feeling in my heart that has been present this whole day.

Empty

Just emptiness.

When I reach the table, I give Tyson a reassuring smile when he looks at me worriedly. He keeps looking at me and my smile wavers, the waves of emptiness threatening to take it away.

But it's not just emptiness that's present. It's confusion. It's a jumble of emotions. Indecipherable emotions that swirl around making you feel light headed. You don't know how to act or how to feel. You don't know if you're in your own body. You don't know anything.

So you turn empty. Hollow. Until all the swirling emotions become nothing but a dream. Until you wonder if this is better than the confusion.

"Do you think you'll be going back to school?" Amanda asks, sipping her latte. I shrug.

"Don't know. I might."

"Are you sure you're ready for it?" Xavier asks, concerned.

I shrug again, mumbling, "I don't really care all that much."

The two nodded in sympathy. Fuck, I hate sympathy and pity. I'm not a charity case, I'm a person.

"We'll definitely be going out shopping for new clothes," Amanda says, an excited spark in her eyes.

"What..." I say, confused.

"Well you're not going to be wearing that hoodie all the time, are you?" Amanda says, her tone matter-of-fact and slightly judging.

"Yes, I will," I say firmly, anger raising up.

She looks at me for some time before nodding. "Well, that's okay I guess. I'm not pushing you."

What? No.

Anger bubbles inside me and, in a deep corner of my mind, I know it's irrational. I know it's not needed. But, for now, I just want to burn in my anger. I just want to burn until they realise I'll burn them if they get too close. I just want to burn until there's nothing left to burn.

"Kitty?" Tyson asks, confused. He takes my hand. This time, I push him off. I don't miss the flash if hurt in his eyes.

"Just take me to the house," I spit, venom lacing my voice for reasons unknown to me and everyone around the table.

"Kitty-"

"Just.... take me to the house," I say, sighing. I hold my head in my hands and gripping my hair. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know why I destroy the best things in life. I don't know.

I don't know.

"What's wrong?" Tyson asks, getting worried.

I look up to him and say, miserably, "I don't know."

I don't know what he saw in my expression, but his eyes softened and he nods. "Let's go. It's getting dark anyway."

"Thanks."

"You guys go ahead. Amanda and I'll stay here for a bit," Xavier says, his voice sounding like curdled milk to my ears.

Tyson takes my hand and it seems just a little far away from me. Like it's a memory. Like it's happening in my head.

I need to get out of here.

One moment I'm leaving the cafe and getting on the motorcycle, the next I'm on some random cliff top overlooking the sea. I don't remember getting here and nor do I remember getting off the motorcycle. There's isn't any sign of life here. Just us, the quiet, and the sea. The sun is just about to set and the waters change colours along with it. It casts colours on Tyson, making him, not ethereal, but human. Those vulnerable eyes could only be human.

"Where..." I mumble, feeling tired. A different type of tired. A tired that makes me want to just...

I don't know.

"We're at the place where the sky meets the sea and the stars come out to play when the two lovers part," Tyson says softly. He then goes over to the edge of the cliff and sits down on the grass. He then pats the space next to him. I take the invitation and sit down, too tired to protest.

"What happened today, Kitty?"

I don't turn to look at him when he asks this. Instead I stare at the almost-sunset and pull my knees up, wrapping my arms around them protectively.

"I don't know," I mumble. And then it all spills. "I just feel... empty. Do you know what it's like to be empty? It's days of confusion and your emotions being too much for you before you shut down. Did you know I've been having nightmares this whole time? Did you know the minute I stepped into that cafe I felt suffocated by my old thoughts that have already begun to resurface? When I said I wouldn't wear what Amanda wanted me to, I wanted her to scream at me! I wanted her to get angry! I wanted her to see how horrible I am! I don't know. I don't know! I don't know!!"

My hands grip my hair again and I pull my hair out of frustration. It's just.. there's no way to describe the feeling. No way to tell him what's happening. It's just a jumble of emptiness and confusion and self-loathing and guilt and a need for familiarity. It's just... everything.

"Fuck," I whisper as tears start cascading down my face. It feels so good to cry. It feels so good to let it out.

So I cry.
And I sob.
And I weep.
And I mourn.

I mourn the person I could've been, the family and friends I could've had, the things I could've learned, the people I could've changed and the happiness I had lost but am slowly learning to find again.

I let it all out. I let the monster claw at me until I'm raw.

Arms snake around me and I give in to the pressure as the arms press me to his side. He threads his hands through my hair and I can feel the slight tremor in his fingers while he does so.

I did that. I made him scared.

"Whatever it is, Warrior Girl, we'll get through it," he murmurs into my hair.

We. He said "we" like it was nothing. Like it should just be a fact now and not a surprise like it is for me.

"Tell me the story of the sky and the sea. I never got bed time stories. I think I'd like one," I say, leaning into him and absorbing his warmth.

"It's pretty cliche," he says, chuckling.

"I don't care," I murmur, lost in the calmness this place brings.

"Well, okay then. The sun and the sea were once in love. They never planned to fall for each other. But love is never something you plan, now is it? They fell in love and, for a moment, they thought that they could be happy. But then... they couldn't stay together. Because if they did, they'd destroy the world. They were miserable without each other. The sun refused to show themselves and the sea unknowingly started poisoning the creatures that live within her in her grief. The birds, seeing this, tried to be messengers for the two lovers. That's why birds sing. They carry the messages the two lovers share with each other. But that wasn't enough, now was it? So, Fate decided that the two lovers would get a chance to be with each other. During the time the Day turned into Night, Fate decided that they could meet for a few moments. For a few moments, the lovers wold gaze at each other lovingly before they had to leave again. They'd get to see each other again when Night turned into Day, when the world still sleeps. During this time the world could finally gaze into the eyes of true love. Could finally see the beauty of true love. People have painted may portraits of the lovers and tried hard to capture their beauty, but nothing could be as beautiful as the real thing. We call their reunions the "sunsets" and the "sunrise" because we have a need to name something that doesn't have a name. That sort of love can never be labelled, never be forced into a box. That sort of love is wild and should never be taken for granted. That sort of love is one in a million and anyone would be stupid if they... if they let her go. Because they'd never find anyone like her again. Because they'd never... they'd never feel the way they had felt with her and for her. Because if you're lucky enough for her...for her to choose you, then you have to make sure you never lose her. She's far too precious to be lost."

I never took my eyes off of him as he told the story, too immersed in the story to watch anything else. I watch curiously as his voice changes during the last part of the story, as his features soften into something I don't really know. I watch as he stares at the setting sun that has now met the sea, his arm around me tightening.

I sigh and watch the lovers meet as well.

I watch as the colours of the sky dance from blue in some parts to red and orange in the others. I watch as the clouds turn into a light pink. I watch as the birds cry joyously. I watch as the sky and its elements celebrate the love of the sea and the sun.

Slowly, the sun sets and disappears and I watch as the sky darkens in sadness at the loss of one half of the two that are destined to never be together but still choose to.

The rebel lovers.

I watch as the stars come out, bringing a beautiful sort of melancholy to comfort the sea. I watch as the birds quite down to comfort the sea. I watch as the sea calms down in its sadness.

It truly is beautiful.

I look to the side to see Tyson stare at me with the same look in his eyes.

"You didn't see the scene of true love," I tell him quietly. He lies down in the soft grass and pats the space next to him. I lie down too.

He looks at me then and the look intensifies, making me feel utterly nervous for reasons I can't fathom.

"Maybe I already have," he says softly.

"Huh?" I say, confused. Did he mean he's seen the sunset many times now? If he did, then how could he ever get used to such a beautiful sight? How does one get used to the love of the sun and the sea?

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Nothing, Kitty. Absolutely nothing."

I shake my head in confusion and look up at the night sky. Countless stars have shown themselves now and they makes a beautiful scene across the sky. People are always so scared of chaos, of anything that doesn't have order. But how could they ever be afraid of chaos when it's the very thing that painted the night sky?

"Thank you for this," I murmur quietly. He puts his arms around me gently and pulls me closer. I snuggle up to him as the cold
night air catches up to me.

"Anything you want, Warrior Girl."
——————
Jeeeeez I don't know what happened here. I had a whole different thing planned and this was supposed to actually be in Tyson's POV. But then I felt like shit today and  I just needed to let everything out somehow so this chapter happened.

I'm sorry for the filler and being a weird ass. I promise I'll get some actual plot line related things down here but I wasn't feeling all that up to a plotline. I needed something calm. So this is what I came up with.

Sorry again.

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