36

As he kissed her neck, she buried her hands in his hair, rubbing his head affectionately. Randhir felt like crying. He was trying to prove that he could have sex with Sanyukta, and it wouldn't mean anything more than that, but already this act of kissing her felt like a lot more than anything else.

He got off her body, and sat up on the bed as the first tears reached his eyes, unable to carry forward in such a vengeful way. Sanyukta sat up as well and wrapped one arm around his shoulder and touched his cheek lightly with her free hand.

"Why can't I have sex with you?" he said bluntly, his voice hoarse.

"Y - You could," she told him, tears filling her own eyes. "If you want to, you can."

"Such a whore," he muttered under his breath, and she felt her heart ache at his words. "How can you just throw yourself at someone like that?"

"I - I love you that's why," she whispered to him. "You can call me whatever you like Randhir, but it won't change the fact that I love you very much and would do anything for you."

"How did I trust you? Why was I such an idiot? I was stupid... obviously I hadn't learned my lesson when Vidhushi and I broke up, but now you? I didn't even use my brain," he said out loud, dejection in his voice.

Sanyukta looked into his eyes and with an aching heart, she saw the tears that were falling.

She lowered the hand that was on his cheek to his shoulder, before hugging him tightly.

That did it for him.

He broke down crying. She was so close to him, hugging him so lovingly, as if her feelings were real. He wanted to believe her, but how could he? He was scared to be hurt again. He had already been a fool twice, how could he be a fool a third time?

Randhir held her tightly against him as he sobbed, and she rubbed his back soothingly. He pulled her on top of his lap and nuzzled his face in her neck, his stubble scratching the soft skin.

She felt his tears wet her neck, and she continued to rub his back. This was good for him... instead of being an emotionless zombie, he was crying.

"I hate you," he cried, his words muffled against her neck. "I hate you so much... but I don't want to stay away from you."

She quietly continued to rub his back soothingly and he continued to sob.

"I... I hate you!" he sobbed again. "I can't get over how cruel you are... and h - here I am, too weak to ask you to leave."

Tears fell from Sanyukta's eyes, but she didn't say anything.

"I - I don't think I can d - do anything," he choked.

"I love you Randhir," she whispered, finally speaking out.

Seeing him in this condition was slowly killing her. It hurt a lot to see him like this. She had to convince him somehow.

"You're lying," he sobbed.

"I swear Randhir... I swear I'm being honest," she told him. "I don't know how to prove it to you, but if you ask me to, I will do anything."

He pulled himself away from her and looked into her swollen eyes with his own red ones.

"Will you really do anything?" he asked her, finally deciding to put her to the ultimate test.

She nodded.

He pushed her off his lap and she fell backwards on the bed as he left the room. In a minute, he came back with a knife.

"Kill me," he told her simply.

"What?" she gasped, her eyes wide. "How will that prove to you I love you?"

"You're right. Okay, kill yourself," he said to her in a challenging tone. "Can you do it?"

Randhir knew that she wouldn't do this. He just wanted to show her that he could be an evil person, so she shouldn't meddle in his life anymore... he didn't want someone as traitorous as her, and she didn't seem like she would stop running after him unless he did something drastic.

Sanyukta smiled at him, tears in her eyes.

"You gave me an easy task," she said to him softly. "But I can't do it."

"Why?" he asked her, getting frustrated.

"Once I do it, you'll feel bad Randhir and it would hurt you even more. I don't want to go by leaving you in so much pain," she answered.

"Well to prove your love for me, you will have to die," he said simply. "Otherwise I won't believe you."

"I will one day," she pointed out. "We all will one day."

"Fine," he said with irritation. "Slit your wrist then."

Sanyukta smiled even more widely.

"You think that will prove my love for you?" she asked him.

"Just do it!" he bellowed. "If you love me, do it! Or get out of here and don't come back!"

"As you say Randhir," she told him with a smile and then held the knife to her wrist. "This is perhaps the easiest thing you can ask me to do."

Then she pressed the blade against her wrist, about to slit it and Randhir's eyes widened, his heart starting to beat faster with fear.

37

If there was one thing that he had left even after deciding that he wanted her out of his life, it was his care for her. He wasn't able to watch her put the knife so close to her wrist, about to slit it open. He couldn't see Sanyukta do that, no matter how cruel she was.

So he grabbed the knife from the top, the blade cutting against the palm of his hand as he snatched it from her.

"Randhir!" she yelled, and grabbed his hand to look at the damage that he had done to herself. "Why did you do this? I would have stopped - you just needed to tell me!"

He opened his hand and let the knife fall to his bed, as blood oozed out of the palm of his hand.

For some reason the pain that the knife brought him paled in comparison to the pain that Sanyukta had given him.

"I told you how I felt about you," he whispered, his eyes getting wet. "But you still hurt me."

Her eyes filled with tears too and she looked genuinely hurt. He didn't like seeing her like this, but he knew those tears were crocodile tears and everything was just an act by her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I promise you, I mean everything that I say right now... I love you very much Randhir. My heart could fail me, my lungs could stop breathing in oxygen, but my love for you... that's endless. It goes beyond this body and heart Randhir."

He wanted to believe her. Her words brought tears to his eyes... but surely a love like that was not real. He sniffled and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. He had to bring himself out of this misery... he couldn't be so deep in pain for a girl like her.

"I'll tell you how to prove it," he told her sharply.

"How?" she asked him.

"You'll see. I'll shower and then come. We have to go somewhere," he told her.

"Let me bandage your hand," she said softly.

"You may be able to put a bandage on this hand Sanyukta, but you can never heal this heart," he said to her coldly, and stood up, before turning his back to her and going into the bathroom.

When he was showering, Sanyukta wiped her own tears and went to the window of his room, opening it so she could let air in. The room smelled of alcohol and of sweat, and if Randhir continued to live in these conditions, he would get sick.

Then she went around his condominium and started to clean. She picked up the dirty clothes from the ground and put them in the laundry hamper. She collected all of the bottles of alcohol that were lying around the house and placed them in a box in his kitchen. She made his bed nicely and then sat at the foot of the bed, waiting for him to come out.

He came back ten minutes after she finished cleaning, wearing just a towel. She noticed that he had shaved too. The first thing he saw was that his room looked different.

"Where's my stuff?" he asked her.

"I cleaned your place," she said softly. "It was a mess so instead of waiting and doing nothing, I thought to clean it for you."

"It's my place so it's my mess! It isn't for you to clean," he snapped, and then walked up to her and grabbed her arms angrily.

She looked down at his hands and noticed that he had bandaged it himself in the bathroom. She was glad that he was taking care of himself at least.

"Sorry," she said softly, but in truth she wasn't sorry at all... she was doing all of this for him.

He pushed her backwards and she grabbed the wall for support.

Randhir took out his clothes from the wardrobe and then disappeared back into the bathroom. When he finally came out, dressed up in a t-shirt and jeans, he grabbed his car keys.

"Let's go," he said.

She nodded and followed him out.

"Where are we going?" she asked him curiously.

"We're going to walk on burning coals barefoot," he answered simply, as if it was a very natural activity. "You can back out now or you can go through with it. It's your choice."

Sanyukta smiled - once again, he had given her an easy task.

38

Randhir didn't know what fueled her determination. How could she agree to each and every one of her requests with a smile on her face, without even flinching? He was going to put her through a painful task, and here she was sitting in his car, smiling.

As he drove, he kept quiet, and she didn't say anything. While they were passing by a roadside stall, he heard her stomach grumble.

"You haven't eaten anything?" he asked her.

She shook her head.

"Let's find something to eat then," he said.

"Can we have chaat please?" she asked him softly, glancing out at the roadside vendor. "He's making it here."

Randhir stopped the car beside the vendor and looked at her with disgust.

"You want to eat here? Don't you know how unhygienic it is?" he asked.

"I just... I'm really craving it for some reason," she murmured. "But if you don't want to... it's fine."

Randhir sighed and got out of the car before ordering two plates of chaat. Sanyukta joined him and took her plate. As she put a spoonful in her mouth, a feeling of bliss took over her features.

He looked at her with surprise - she seriously was craving it, and now that she had it, her facial features only held satisfaction.

Randhir scrunched his nose as he looked down at his own plate. She took a spoonful out of her plate and held it up for him to take a bite of.

"I have my own plate," he replied.

"Maybe you'll like the taste if I feed you," she said softly.

Sighing, Randhir opened his mouth and she fed him.

"It's good," he said.

"I told you!" she replied excitedly.

They finished their own plates in silence. Finally after they were full, they got back in the car.

"How far away is this place?" she asked him after about an hour of driving.

"The one I'm taking you to is a few more hours away," he answered.

Sanyukta nodded and rested her head against the window, feeling sleepy. Soon she drifted off to sleep.

She woke up when Randhir parked his car. It was dark by the time they got there.

"Let's go," he said and she nodded.

As they got out of the car, she shivered. It was chilly and she hadn't even brought a sweater.

Randhir, who had a jacket in the car took it out and placed it over her shoulders. As much as he hated her right now, he couldn't bear the sight of her being like this.

Sanyukta slipped her arms inside the sleeves of the jacket and zipped it up. Then she took his hand.

"Is that where I'm walking?" she asked him softly, pointing towards a long stretch of coals that were burning on the ground.

He ignored her but he didn't let go of her hand.

They both approached a Shaikh who was sitting by the fire.

"Whatever you wish for as you walk on this fire, it will come true," the Shaikh told them. "You have to focus on that one thing, and that thing only. Focus on it so hard that you don't even feel the burns anymore."

Randhir and Sanyukta both nodded and bowed in front of the Shaikh.

"Let's go," Randhir stated, and took her to the edge of the fire as he removed his shoes.

"You're going too?" Sanyukta asked with a gasp, removing her own shoes.

"Of course. You may not love me Sanyukta, but unfortunately, I am cursed to love you. I can't see you go through this alone," he answered without looking at her.

Then he took her hand and she, with an amazed expression on her face, clutched his hand tightly.

As they took their first step on the fire, with the burns searing through not only their feet but their whole body, they held on to each other more tightly.

Randhir had one wish, "Get her out of my life."

Sanyukta's only wish was, "Please fulfill Randhir's wish."

Like the saying went, 'be careful what you wish for... because it just might come true'.

39

It was painful. The soles of their feet were touching the burning coals, but the heat went far beyond their feet. The heat seared up their bodies painfully. It hurt, but the pain did not shoot up to their souls, where the desire and love for each other was burning much stronger than the fire.

Soon the pain subsided, as both of them focused on what they wanted. Randhir felt his mind falter, when he wished for her to go away from his life... his heart ached, because that was not his true desire. He still wished it though, and unknown to him, Sanyukta's pure wish gave his false one more power. She purely wished for his wish to come true, and that was what drove it forward.

He looked at her - her eyes were closed, a smile on her face, both of her hands tightly holding his. How could she smile in a situation like this? He just didn't understand her.

Sanyukta started to feel dizzy when they reached the end of the bed of coals. As soon as they got off, she held on to Randhir tightly.

He glanced at her, feeling concerned. All of a sudden, thunder roared across the sky and the first raindrops poured on them.

"I - I feel dizzy," she muttered, her hair matted across her face with sweat.

"S - Sanyukta," he whispered, and before he knew it she had collapsed against him.

Suddenly it started to rain harder, and Randhir picked her up in his arms, his heart beating furiously as fear filled his body.

"Wake up Sanyukta," he said, as he held her to his chest and he stumbled over to their shoes.

It was so hard to walk because of the burns on his feet. When he got to their shoes, the Shaikh was still sitting there, looking like he was in bliss.

"The thunder roars loudly today," he said as Randhir approached him with Sanyukta in his arms. "But two souls with nothing but love in their hearts roar louder to be together."

Randhir glanced at the Shaikh with a strange expression on his face. What was he talking about? Him and Sanyukta were both getting drenched here, and Sanyukta was laying lifelessly in his arms.

He looked down to the place where he had kept their shoes, but their shoes were gone... they were nowhere to be found.

"Where are our shoes?" he said out loud.

The Shaikh smiled at him.

"The will of the universe is always what trumps," he said, pointing up to the sky. "The test of love is always given to the weaker one, not the stronger one."

Then he glanced at Sanyukta, as he said the word stronger.

"What do I do?" Randhir asked, tears filling his eyes, "She - She's fainted. I don't know where to go or what to do."

"There is a shack a mile away from here in that direction," the Shaikh said, pointing forward. "Take her there. That is where you will find your peace."

Randhir nodded and took her to his car. To his surprise, a tree had fallen on top of his car.

"Great," he murmured under his breath.

But he couldn't give up... he had to move, for Sanyukta.

Then he started to walk painfully, for the mile, with Sanyukta in his arms, until he reached the shack that the Shaikh was talking about. As soon as he entered, he placed her down on a piece of cloth that was sprawled on the ground.

The Shaikh had said that the weaker one would have to do the most penance... Randhir had given a test of love to Sanyukta, but here he was being tested the most.

As he moved some of the wet hair away from her face, he noticed that there were goosebumps all over her body. She was cold.

He squeezed his eyes shut... he didn't want to do this, but he would have to do this for her. He couldn't let her get sick.

Slowly, one by one, he started to remove her wet clothes.

40

If there was one thing he knew to be certain, it was that his feelings for her went far beyond his body. He had no lustful thoughts when he removed her clothes. He was doing this to keep her warm, and that was it.

First he pulled her up in a seating position, his arm around her back to support her, as he unzipped his jacket from her body. He took the wet jacket off and placed it on the ground beside them. His hands then reached down to the bottom of her dress. Closing his eyes, he pulled her on his lap so he would be able to take her dress off more easily.

Just because he had seen her naked before, didn't mean that he was allowed to do it again. As soon as he got her dress off her body, she shivered against him, and he knew that the wetness of his clothes were freezing her too.

He took off her undergarments too and then laid her back down against the cloth on the ground before he opened his eyes, looking at anything but at her.

Randhir unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, letting it fall to the ground. Gulping, he knew he had to keep them warm. As he removed the rest of his clothing, he whispered an apology.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, before pulling her back up on his lap and hugging her naked body against his, rubbing her skin to try and keep her warm.

Tears invaded his eyes as he stroked her wet hair.

"I love you," he whispered, sniffling. "I am sorry for being so harsh... please wake up."

She shivered against him, and he continued to rub her all over her body. His cheek was pressed against hers. His lips brushed over her ear.

After about an hour, she moved against him and he pulled back slightly to see if she was awake. She was.

"R - Randhir," she muttered, her teeth still chattering.

He pulled her close to him again as she shivered.

"Stay close to me," he whispered. "You'll freeze."

"I'm - I'm still cold," she whispered, her eyes closing weakly. "My insides feel like they're frozen."

He pulled back again and looked at her lovingly, as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"D - do you want me to..." he started, unable to finish his sentence, but she nodded weakly.

"Our whole bodies will warm up if we d - do that," she told him, her teeth chattering. "It - it will be faster."

"R - really?" he asked her, unable to understand whether she really meant it.

"I... I want to do it," she whispered back to him. "I want to - to feel you inside me... not - not just because I'm cold but because - because I love you."

Randhir's eyes filled with tears when she told him she loved him.

"I love you too," he told her softly, stroking her cheek. "I promise that now I won't leave you... now I won't hurt you."

Who cared what her reason for loving him was? Who cared if she was using him? Who cared if she hated him? Who cared if she really even loved him?

As he spent the night in this shack, warming her up, one realization happened, and just like the Shaikh had said... he had found his peace. As he was on the verge of losing her, he knew that he loved her more than anything else. More than his doubts, more than his fears, more than his insecurities. Whether she was using him or not, didn't matter... he would still love her the same.

And for her, he was ready to let himself be used. If that was what she wanted, then he would let her hurt him... and he would gladly get hurt.

With tears in her eyes, she leaned towards him and softly pressed her lips against his.

Tears fell from both of their eyes when they made love that night. It was a beautiful moment, one that held a lot of sincerity, a lot of love, and more than anything, an undying longing to be together.

Sometimes realizations came too late though, after the damage had already been done.

41

The sun rose, and Sanyukta opened her eyes, a glow on her face. She was lying on top of Randhir, and his arms were around her, holding her against him lovingly. With a smile on her face, she leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

He opened his eyes to see her in his arms... and the sight of her like this made his morning beautiful. He wanted her to be in his arms all the time, just like this... every morning, every night. He wanted to be with her.

"Good morning," she said softly.

"Good morning," he repeated, a small smile on his face.

"How are your feet?" she asked him.

"I forgot that they were supposed to hurt," he replied lightly.

Sanyukta got off him and then crawled down to his feet, before taking a look at the soles. They were still red from last night. She touched them softly, rubbing them, trying to soothe his pain.

"They'll hurt so much when you walk" she told him painfully.

"Your feet couldn't have healed either," he pointed out and then sat up, as she was massaging his feet for him. "Let me see."

"I'm fine Randhir," she told him honestly. "I don't even know why I passed out last night."

"Maybe your body couldn't handle the excess heat or the pain," he said to her.

"I guess... but I've just been feeling so strange lately," she told him seriously. "I'll just visit a doctor and find out."

"That's a very good idea," he pointed out. "I want you to be healthy."

Then she took her hands off his feet and sat up on his lap, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. He held her waist lovingly and kissed her back. As their lips moved together rhythmically, she couldn't help but feel her heart flutter.

She loved him so much.

Sanyukta broke the kiss and looked into his eyes lovingly.

"Randhir, I have the necklace you gave me in my purse that's in your car. I took it off yesterday because I thought you wouldn't like it if I came in front of you wearing it," she said softly.

"I would love it if you wore it," he replied honestly. "But I want to put it on you. When we go, I'll tie it around your neck."

She smiled lovingly at him... what more could she want?

"Sanyukta, I want to marry you," he told her seriously.

"I want to marry you too," she replied softly.

"My dad will never approve, but I will do something... he fixed my marriage with some girl, remember I told you?" he mentioned, sounding upset.

It was time to be honest. She couldn't hide the truth about who she really was from him any longer.

"Randhir... that girl... that girl is me," she admitted, and then gulped as she looked into his eyes, nervously waiting for his response.

42

Randhir, who was holding her so closely, let go of her as soon as she admitted the truth about herself, and a look of shock took over his features. How could she be looking at him so seriously now? How could his parents fix his marriage with her? His parents told him that the girl he was about to marry would be the daughter of a very rich and famous businessman.

"Wh - what?" he gasped.

"I'm not Sanyukta Agarwal who survives for money Randhir," she answered softly, touching his cheek with tears in her eyes. "I'm Sanyukta Agarwal daughter of... daughter of Kishore Agarwal."

He pushed her backwards off his lap and stood up before gathering his clothes and pulling them on one by one. Sanyukta looked up at him tearfully, but she took a deep breath and put on her own clothes. How could she expect all of this to sink in for him so easily? She knew that she had to give him time.

After they finished getting dressed, Randhir, with a lost look in his eyes took her hand and lead her outside. They walked painfully for the mile to his car.

To his surprise, his car was in perfect condition, and the tree that had appeared to fall on it last night was not in sight.

"What the -" he gasped, his eyes wide. "Where's that tree?"

"Illusions are created at the will of the Universe, to push you towards your destination," he heard the Shaikh's voice boom, and Randhir and Sanyukta noticed that he was still sitting there seemingly unaffected by the storm... looking the same as last night, with nothing but bliss on his face. "There was never a tree on that car. It was an illusion of your mind, because somewhere deep down even you knew you had to do penance... the penance to love."

Sanyukta smiled and glanced up at Randhir, still holding his hand, but Randhir didn't look at her. Instead, he got irritated.

"What the hell?" he swore under his breath. "I was so scared to lose you that I couldn't even see properly?"

"When one loses themselves in their own pain, that is when all clarity is lost," the Shaikh then said loudly.

Randhir's eyes widened. How had he even heard him?

"Thank you," Sanyukta said to the Shaikh and then let go of Randhir's hand before bowing down in front of the Shaikh. "Thank you for teaching us so much."

The Shaikh smiled at her and touched her head to bless her.

"Nobody... not you, not I can change the will of destiny. The most we can do is understand it," the Shaikh said to the two of them. "Even then, the mind is limited. The mind will never be able to comprehend the vastness of the universe... so to say you understand destiny's will makes you a fool. Just let it be."

"Love without inhibitions?" she asked him softly.

The Shaikh nodded.

"Love without inhibitions," he responded, with a soft look in his eyes, "Because you never know when you will go from this place."

Randhir just shook his head - what was this guy going on about? Instead of telling him to walk one mile earlier, he could have just told him his car was in perfect condition.

"Remember, it was never your choice," he said, and then glanced at Randhir, as if he had read his mind. "It will never be your choice. If you love, you will never lose."

Sanyukta clasped her hands together in front of him and bowed down to show her appreciation. She had tears in her eyes.

Randhir felt his heart ache as he saw the reverence and respect she had for the Shaikh. It was like she believed his words. Randhir wanted to believe... but he just didn't know. He was more confused than ever... he didn't know how to feel with the truth that Sanyukta had just told him.

One thing he was sure of though. Leaving her was not an option. Maybe all he needed was some time.

"Time here is limited," the Shaikh boomed, once again reading his mind, as Sanyukta joined Randhir. "You never know when it will take her away."

Was he talking about Sanyuka? No way. Randhir just rolled his eyes, took Sanyukta's arm and dragged her back to his car.

Finally as he drove off, the Shaikh's words replayed in his head.

'You never know when it will take her away'... could it be that there was some kind of truth behind those words?

43

They drove in silence for most of the car ride back. Sanyukta played with her hands, trying to think of something to say... she didn't want to disturb him from his thoughts, nor did she want him to be so lost in them.

"Where do you live?" he finally asked her. "I guess not where you asked me to pick you up last time."

"No," she replied softly, grateful that he broke the silence. "I'll show you the way."

Then tears filled her eyes and she couldn't stop herself from reaching to grab his hand, which wasn't holding the steering wheel.

He looked down at her hand with surprise.

"Sanyukta... I need time for this to digest. All this time, I thought you were completely different," he told her honestly. "I don't know why you did all of this. I just... I just need time."

"I did it because I knew you were hurt," she said to him. "I didn't want you to be so deep in your pain that you'd never give love a second chance."

"But why?" he asked her incredulously. "You didn't even know me."

"Because I loved you," she said softly. "That's why. That has been the only reason."

He looked up at her and he shook his head.

"I don't know..." he murmured, and then changed the subject by asking, "Where's the way to your house?"

She smiled softly and then gave him directions to her house. When he finally pulled into her driveway, he looked surprised.

"I didn't know you lived in a place like this," he told her. "I thought you were someone completely different... I thought you were using me for money, but I guess... that was never the case."

"I only loved you," she admitted. "Randhir, I never wanted to hurt you or lie to you, but the only way to get close to you and heal you was to hide my identity."

"It's just so unbelievable," he murmured, letting his head fall on the steering wheel. "Who does this for anyone?"

He didn't know what to believe. He didn't know why she would do this. He didn't know why she loved him before she even knew him. Even if she had loved him, she had changed her whole identity to heal him? Could something like that really be called love, or was it called madness?

Removing his head from the steering wheel, he looked at her, into her eyes, where she held a lot of love. Or maybe that was just what he wanted to see staring back at him.

"I don't know Sanyukta," he whispered, and then caressed her cheek. "I just... I need this to sink in."

"That's okay. You can take your time," she told him with a smile. "I understand it's a lot to take in. But... but can I still be with you?"

With a pained expression on his face, tears filled his eyes as he said, "Sanyukta do you really love me or are you obsessed with me?"

Sanyuka's own eyes filled with tears.

"Maybe it looks like I'm obsessed with you Randhir. But I don't want you. I never wanted to have you. I am happy to love you and be away," she confessed. "You can see it as an obsession, but I know how true this feeling is... I know what it is. And I won't even prove it to you."

"I don't want to lose you," he admitted.

"You don't have to," she whispered softly.

Then he pulled her into a hug and she leaned across her seat and hugged him back. He kissed her cheek and caressed her hair.

"I can't lose you," he whispered, tears falling from his eyes. "I don't have the power in me anymore to be apart."

She sniffled and pressed her lips against his neck, her tears wetting his skin.

The universe worked in strange ways though... sometimes even the desire to be together wasn't as strong as the will to be apart.

44

Finally breaking the embrace, she looked into his eyes, her hands on his cheeks, caressing them with so much love that he thought he would disappear. It was hard for him to understand who this girl was... was she an angel who had come into his life or was he misunderstanding something?

He couldn't control the erratic beating of his heart around her, he couldn't control the attraction, the love or the heartwarming feeling. He was just not sure who she really was anymore.

"I guess I should go," she whispered to him.

"Okay," he muttered. "Bye."

She smiled lovingly at him before getting out of the car and waving. He looked at her through his rearview mirror as he drove away for some reason, unable to get enough of her.

As she was about to enter her house, she felt a bit dizzy again. Deciding that she had to go to the doctor, she got into her car instead of going home, and drove to the hospital for a check up.

"I just haven't been feeling well," she told the doctor. "Throwing up...feeling dizzy, I even passed out last night."

"What were you doing last night?" her doctor asked her.

"I was walking on burning coals," she said, looking down at the ground.

"When did you last get your period?" the doctor asked her, and Sanyukta looked up at the doctor with shock.

"Um... maybe two months ago," she said to the doctor as the realization sunk into her system. "Doctor... could it be that I'm - I'm -"

"You could be," the doctor replied, looking into her eyes. "I just need to take some tests. I will need a sample of your blood."

Sanyukta nodded, agreeing to the blood test. After the blood test, Sanyukta waited outside the laboratory nervously... pacing back and forth.

Could it be that she was pregnant? For some reason it didn't scare her... in fact, she was happy at the thought of being pregnant with Randhir's child. But would he feel the same way? She didn't want to burden him with a responsibility he wasn't ready for.

The doctor finally came out of the laboratory with test results in her hands. Sanyukta looked up at the doctor, her heart thumping, nervously anticipating the results of the test.

45

As soon as Randhir pulled into his building after he dropped Sanyukta home, he saw someone was waiting for him in the lobby. It was Vidhushi... a nightmare he wanted to forget.

"How do you know I live here?" he asked irritably as soon as he saw her face.

Vidhushi just grinned widely at him.

"Oh Randhir!" she said with a pleasant smile. "I came to tell you something."

Randhir found it strange that Vidhushi knew where he lived. Ignoring her, he just went inside the elevator. She ran after him and he pressed the button to his floor.

"I need to speak to you! It's important!" she exclaimed, but he didn't even look at her.

Finally stepping out into his floor, he went towards his apartment, Vidhushi still running after him.

"I'm serious Randhir! It's about Sanyukta!" she pushed.

Opening the door to his apartment, he stepped inside, and was about to slam it on Vidhushi's face, but she had already pushed herself into his apartment.

"What's your problem?" he asked angrily, and she sighed impatiently before walking further inside and leaving the door open.

"Will you just listen to me?" she asked irritably.

"Why should I?" he replied, annoyed.

"I told you it's about Sanyukta! Do you like her at all? You don't deserve her!" she yelled.

He glared at Vidhushi with so much force that he was surprised she didn't melt.

"Randhir, I need to show you something," she said, and reached into her bag before taking out a yearbook. "Look at this."

"Why?" he asked sharply.

"Go to page seven," Vidhushi said. "It's from college."

Why was Vidhushi showing him this and what did this have to do with Sanyukta? He snatched the yearbook from Vidhushi and turned to page seven before looking at the pictures there. He saw Vidhushi, then a few pictures over, he saw Sanyukta. A younger looking Sanyukta.

"What the -" he gasped, shocked. "She was in our college?"

"Yeah, she like a fool loved you since college," Vidhushi said, rolling her eyes. "Look Randhir, I'm sorry for everything I did. My intention wasn't to hurt you or anything like that... I didn't know you'd end up liking me that much."

"Yeah, your intention was money," he said coldly. "Anyways, how do you know that she loved me since college?"

"I've been her best friend since then," Vidhushi snapped back at him. "You don't have to speak so rudely!"

"I'll speak as rudely as you want if you're in my house," he replied darkly. "Now get out!"

Vidhushi took a deep breath, as if trying to get a hold on her anger.

"Look, Randhir," she said, her tone calming down. "I just came here to tell you that she loves you, and not to hurt her because of me."

"Great, you've told me. Now get out!" Randhir said angrily.

"I am sincerely sorry for what happened between us," Vidhushi continued, "But I guess the purpose of our relationship was so you and Sanyukta could meet."

Randhir sighed and turned his back to Vidhushi. She walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me," he snapped.

She didn't remove her hand so he turned around to shoot her another menacing glare. Vidhushi grabbed his hand with both of her own and she squeezed it.

"I'm trying to tell you I'm being sincere Randhir! You loved me in the past, but forget all that and move on... please don't hurt Sanyukta," she begged.

Who did she think she was? Did she seriously believe that he couldn't move on from her?

"Look -" he started, but Vidhushi interrupted.

"You have to move on and you have to accept Sanyukta. Don't be so stuck on the past!" she continued, squeezing his hands more tightly.

Just then he heard something fall to the ground, and Randhir looked up to see Sanyukta's face, staring at the two of them with shock. Sanyukta bent down and picked up an envelope before forcing a smile.

"I'll come back later... sorry to just walk in," she murmured and looked down.

46

Sanyukta gulped, holding the envelope tightly in her hand. She took a deep breath and was about to walk out of his apartment to give Randhir and Vidhushi space, when she felt a strong grip on her arm.

Randhir had come to stop her.

"It's nothing like what you're seeing," he said to her seriously. "Vidhushi is just being annoying."

"Hey!" Vidhushi said angrily. "Sanyukta he's so... ugh! He's not worthy of you!"

Sanyukta sighed, feeling like an outsider. How could she even get stuck in a fight between the man she loved and her best friend?

Randhir wrapped his arms around Sanyukta tightly, and nuzzled his nose in her neck, catching her by surprise.

"I love you Sanyukta," he said loudly, as if he was trying to prove this to Vidhushi.

Sanyukta frowned. Why was he even trying to prove anything to Vidhushi?

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" Vidhushi snapped. "It's not working!"

"Please, someone needs to have feelings to be jealous! But you're just a cold-hearted bitch," Randhir retorted, letting go of Sanyukta and glaring at Vidhushi.

Sanyukta grabbed Randhir's arm firmly.

"Both of you, please stop behaving like five year olds!" Sanyukta finally said. "I know you two had a relationship that didn't end so well, but please discuss things like adults."

"Sanyukta I just came here to tell him how much you loved him!" Vidhushi huffed angrily. "He's just being downright insulting! I understand he is very hurt, but he can't treat you badly because he can't get over me."

"You bitch," Randhir snarled. "I've been over you for a long time. Don't think of yourself so highly!"

Sanyukta felt her face fall into her hands.

"Please, please stop arguing!" she begged the two of them. "Stop insulting each other and please discuss your feelings like grown ups!"

Randhir wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head lovingly, glaring at Vidhushi while he did that. Sanyukta didn't like this. Why was he even trying to show her all this? Had he really not moved on? If he had moved on, surely he wouldn't be so bothered to prove anything.

"Gosh so immature!" Vidhushi growled. "I'm leaving!"

"Please do!" Randhir snapped. "You were never invited in."

"Sanyukta come with me!" Vidhushi demanded.

"Sanyukta stay with me," Randhir commanded.

Sanyukta felt like she was a rope and they were playing tug of war with her.

"Vidhushi, I will come and see you later. I need to discuss something important with Randhir first," Sanyukta said sternly.

Randhir smirked.

"She loves me," Randhir said with a happy smile.

"She loves me too," Vidhushi said through gritted teeth.

"Oh please stop!" Sanyukta begged. "Vidhushi please, please go... I'll see you later."

"One second," Randhir intervened, "How did you know where I lived?"

"Oh, I followed Sanyukta here yesterday," Vidhushi said coolly.

"You call that a friend?" Randhir snapped. "What a creepy stalker!"

Sanyukta really felt like she was caught in a trap right now.

"I'm going," Vidhushi said, huffing and turned around before leaving.

Sanyukta shut the door behind Vidhushi and then turned around to face Randhir, feeling nervous at the thought of telling Randhir the truth that she was pregnant.

47

Randhir wrapped his arms around Sanyukta's waist and pulled her into a tight hug, catching her by surprise. "Why didn't you tell me you loved me since college?" he murmured into her ear. "Why did you hide it from me?"

Sanyukta was shocked - so this was what Vidhushi had come here to tell Randhir? But why? Why did she have to tell him all of that? Vidhushi had always interfered in other people's business, but she found it strange that she would come all the way here to stand up for Sanyukta. Could it be that she had feelings for Randhir and didn't want him to be hung up over her?

"Sorry," she murmured, her nose pressed against his neck, inhaling his scent. "I didn't find it that important to tell you when I fell for you."

"But why?" he asked her. "I want to know everything about you."

Sanyukta broke the embrace and cupped his cheeks lovingly.

"I have something to tell you, something important," she whispered to him, her heart beating faster.

"I think you need to know something first," he told her seriously, "I love you so much."

Sanyukta felt her heart flutter and she smiled at him.

"I love you too," she replied softly. "But Randhir -"

He had leaned forward and captured her lips with his in a hungry kiss, and she responded back with just as much love.

Finally breaking the kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers and she smiled.

"What did you want to tell me?" he asked her.

"Yes... I went to the -" she started, but her phone began to ring. "One second."

She noticed it was a call from the hospital.

"Hi Doctor," she said into the phone.

"Sanyukta come back to the hospital immediately. I did some further testing because something looked odd to me and we found something in your test results. I need to discuss it with you urgently," the doctor said with urgency.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Come to the hospital and I will discuss it with you," she said and Sanyukta gulped.

"Yes doctor," she said and then hung up the phone.

"Is everything okay?" Randhir asked her softly.

"I don't know... I need to go to the hospital. I did a check up and the doctor is calling me to discuss the results," Sanyukta explained.

She decided not to tell Randhir that she was pregnant anymore... it could be that she really wasn't pregnant and that was what the doctor wanted to discuss.

"Come, I'll take you," Randhir said to her.

"No," Sanyukta said, shaking her head. "I'll go and then meet you afterwards. I have to meet my father too and now isn't the time to introduce you."

"But our marriage is already fixed?" Randhir asked, sounding confused.

"He heard you were locked in your room for the last two weeks, so he doesn't like you very much right now... but don't worry, I'll convince him. I'll come back later okay?" she asked him softly, and he nodded.

Holding her arms, he kissed her forehead lovingly.

"Come soon," he whispered.

She hugged him tightly.

"It'll be sooner than you know," she murmured and then left to go to the hospital, her heart beating faster with every step she took towards her fate.

48

Sanyukta walked through the rain to Randhir's house, having just met with the doctor. She was in shock... her whole body was drenched, and she didn't know if the water that was running down her face was really rain, or her tears.

She was going to die.

"You have a tumor in your uterus," the doctor had told her. "Right now it is small, you're in your first stage of cancer, so we can remove it... but in order to do that, you will need to abort the child."

Sanyukta had felt her whole body give way at that moment as her breaths were snatched from her.

"What?" she had gasped. "Abort? Cancer?"

Those words were like knives to her. How could she abort her child to save her own life?

"Sanyukta if you don't abort the child so we could treat you right away, then the cancer will spread... either way there will be complications in your pregnancy, but after nine months you will enter a later stage in cancer... and at that point we won't be able to do much to save you," the doctor had explained.

"I... I can't do that," was all she said numbly.

So now here she was, walking to Randhir's place, drenched from head to toe... having already made a decision.

As soon as she knocked on his door, he opened it. Looking at her drenched and shivering body, he hugged her tightly.

"Why did you walk in the rain?" he murmured lovingly.

"Randhir... I have something I need to tell you," she told him, trying to control the tears in her eyes. "I... can't marry you."

He let go of her with shock.

"What happened Sanyukta?" he asked her, cupping her cheeks.

"I - I don't love you," she whispered painfully. "You had it right all along... I... I was never in love with you."

She couldn't tie him down to her, only for him to be hurt later on. She had already healed his heart, and now she herself was going to break it. She wouldn't leave him alone though... she would leave him with a ray of hope.

"What are you saying?" he asked her, sounding hurt. "Why are you saying this?"

"My dad found me someone else," she lied. "His business is more powerful, and... and he lives abroad. I always wanted to go abroad."

"I'll take you abroad," Randhir told her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "What is wrong with you Sanyukta? Stop saying such silly things!"

"Stop being so obsessed with me Randhir!" she screamed, tears flowing down her cheeks. "Don't tie me to you when I don't want to be associated with you at all!"

He took a couple of steps back from her and tears filled his eyes. Her heart ached to see him like this, but she couldn't let him be with her just so he could witness her death.

I'm sorry Randhir, she begged in her head.

Randhir then walked back to her and grabbed her arms forcefully before pressing his lips against hers.

"What -" she gasped against his mouth.

"Stop lying!" he told her darkly. "I know you love me."

Then he deepened the kiss, silencing her.

49

Randhir couldn't let her go anywhere... he would die without her. If he didn't have her in his life, he was scared he would just wither away. And this was exactly Sanyukta's fear too. She was afraid he would die if he saw her leave this world.

She couldn't do this to him, and at the same time, she didn't have the courage to get rid of the baby that was growing in her womb.

His lips were pressed against hers urgently trying to show her his love, trying to get her to tell him the truth. There was no way that his Sanyukta was really like that... there was no way.

"Randhir stop!" she screamed and pushed him off her.

He stumbled backwards, shocked that she was screaming at him. Her eyes filled with tears and she stormed towards him, grabbing the collar of his shirt.

"Please stop it! Come to your senses! Love has drugged you up!" she screamed, shaking him, and tears fell from his eyes one by one. "This isn't how to do it! Randhir you can love but you can't hold someone to you when they don't want to be held to you!"

Randhir felt numb... his Sanyukta was screaming at him, telling him that he was holding her to him when she didn't want to be held to him.

"Please Sanyukta," he whispered. "P - Please tell me why you're doing this. Y - You don't have to love me. I - I'll love you. I will keep you happy... p - please you can break my heart h - however you want, but don't do it l - like this."

She let go of his collar weakly and he fell to his knees and pressed his hands together, looking up at her tearfully. She hated seeing him like this, but what she hated more was that it looked like her love had made him weak.

"D - don't be stupid," she sniffled, "I - I don't love you Randhir... how can you still want me to be with you?"

"B - because I don't need you to love me for me to love you," he begged. "Please stay."

"And if I told you I loved someone else? Would you let me go?" she whispered to him. "Would you let me go if I said that I had to leave you because I love someone else? What if their life depended on me being with them? And my life depended on their life? What would you do Randhir?"

She was talking about their baby of course, but she knew that Randhir would misunderstand her for speaking about another man.

"Do you really love someone else?" he asked her and she nodded with teary eyes.

"I love them a lot Randhir, and if I stay here with you then either they will die or I will die or we both will die," she whispered. "I can't part with them... their life depends on me, and my life is with them."

"Do you love me?" he finally asked her, looking into her eyes.

"I... I told you already Randhir, my love for you was nothing but a phase," she whispered painfully.

"If you are happy with him and he is happy with you then who am I to interfere," he said painfully. "You can - you can go."

"Don't blame yourself," she whispered. "It isn't your fault... and I'm not leaving you because I found someone else... I'm leaving you because I have to find myself."

He looked at her with shock.

"Then find yourself and come back to me... I will be right here waiting for you Sanyukta," he said to her seriously.

"But I won't be," she whispered. "I may not ever come back."

"What do you mean?" he asked her.

"You are a great person Randhir," she told him, "The girl you marry will be the luckiest girl in the world to get a man like you, but unfortunately in this lifetime that girl is not me. My fate is not with you."

"How can you say that with such certainty?" he asked her hoarsely. "Sanyukta, please don't say all of this... it's hurting a lot."

She didn't want to ever hurt him.

"Move on Randhir. I have moved on, you move on too... you were able to move on from Vidhushi, you'll be able to move on from me too. Remember, everyone is just a stepping stone to get you to the one you're destined to be with," she whispered to him painfully.

She was not destined to be with anyone in this lifetime.

Sanyukta reached into her purse and took out the bent necklace that Randhir had gifted her. She held it out to him.

"I don't want it," he said to her.

"N - no," she whispered painfully. "I'm not giving it back. I - I want you to tie it around my neck like you said you would. Just - just one final act."

With shaking fingers, Randhir took the necklace from her and she turned around, her back facing him. As Randhir clasped the necklace on her neck, Sanyukta closed her eyes and imagined that it was a mangalsutra, the sacred thread of marriage.

"There you go," he murmured.

"Thank you," she whispered, tears in her eyes.

She considered herself a married woman now, who had to protect her husband at any cost from the harshness of this world.

Randhir just nodded and wiped his tears with his fingers.

"Good night," she whispered, and started to walk to the door, her heart hurting more and more with each step she took.

"S - Sanyukta please wait," he begged.

She had to be strong. She couldn't falter... she couldn't stop. It would hurt him more.

"Please," he whispered, and she knew that he was hurting so much... and the pain that she was feeling was probably infinitesimal to the pain he was feeling.

She stepped outside of his apartment without looking back.

"I'm sorry Randhir," she whispered under her breath. "I am so sorry... but it is for you that I have to leave."

As soon as she went, Randhir collapsed on the ground, unable to breathe before he screamed, "Sanyukta!"

Then he burst into tears, feeling like his heart just got snatched out of his chest.

Why was the one who wrote destiny so cruel?

50

The next day, Randhir woke up with a start after having a nightmare that Sanyukta left him. He realized that the nightmare had already come true last night when his eyes opened and he found himself leaning against a couch, having dozed off on the floor.

"Sanyukta," he mumbled, tears escaping his eyes. "Sanyukta come back."

He couldn't take this. He felt like he was in a situation that was worse than death. He stood up and walked out of his house without a single thought. As he got into his car and sped to Sanyukta's house, he tried to wipe the tears that were falling from his eyes, but they kept on falling, no matter how much he wiped, they just wouldn't stop.

As soon as he got to her house, Randhir noticed a lock on the door.

"Sanyukta," he whispered painfully.

Then he banged on the door and yelled through tears, "Sanyukta!"

How could she have just left without a word? Where could she have gone? Suddenly, he heard a car pull up to the house and he turned around with a hopeful expression on his face, only to see that it was Vidhushi.

"Where is she?" she screamed at him.

"What do you mean? Where is she? You tell me!" he yelled, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"She left me a voicemail Randhir - she said she was leaving the country... she sent it last night and - and, when I tried to call her, her number was no good!" Vidhushi yelled. "Where is she? Randhir where is she? What did you do to her?"

"N - nothing!" he sobbed. "I - I didn't do anything... she - she told me she needed to leave... that - that she didn't love me. I was a phase."

"What?" Vidhushi gasped. "No way! She loved you more than life!"

Randhir collapsed to the ground and Vidhushi fell in front of him.

"Where is she Vidhushi," he begged. "Please Vidhushi, tell me where she is... I'll die."

Tears fell from Vidhushi's eyes and she sniffled.

"Randhir I wish I knew," she told him, her voice cracked. "I wish I knew... I... I love her myself. She's... she's the closest thing to family that I have. She's my sister."

"I need her Vidhushi," he cried. "I can't live... we need to find her, please."

"I - I'll call her dad. One second," Vidhushi said and took a deep breath.

She took out her phone and Randhir looked at her with a hopeful expression.

"Hi Uncle... do you know where Sanyukta is?" she asked, her tone pleading, "Her door is locked here... what? You don't know? She left without a word then? Where did she go? Uncle, please find her! You have contacts... she went abroad somewhere, where did she go?"

Sniffling, Vidhushi ended the call and shook her head. Randhir felt his heart drop again before more tears fell from his eyes.

"P - Please don't cry Randhir," Vidhushi said, "I promise we'll find her. Her dad will look for her. He has so many contacts, it's impossible that we won't."

With shaking hands, Vidhushi held his shoulders and he fell forward, hugging Vidhushi tightly.

"Vidhushi I need her in my life," he begged. "I'll - I'll kill myself. I can't live without her."

She rubbed his back comfortingly and nodded.

"Don't say that... you'll find her... you have to find her. We'll find her. She - She loves you... she won't have left for long. Please - please Randhir be patient and have hope," Vidhushi said. "I - I feel like dying too, but we have to survive... if we don't survive, who will she survive for once we find her?"

Randhir just sobbed even more, and Vidhushi cried too, trying to comfort him, while trying to console herself at the same time.

All Randhir knew was that he had to bring her back... and he would find her, even if it cost him his life.

51

Randhir waited impatiently for Vidhushi's phone call. Sanyukta's dad had got in touch with his contacts to find Sanyukta's whereabouts. They were trying to find out where she had gone.

Finally, after what felt like an entire lifetime, Vidhushi called him.

"Did you find out?" he asked urgently as soon as he picked up.

"Yes, her father got in contact with the airport and they found out that she was on the overnight flight to London, England," Vidhushi gushed and Randhir breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do we know where in London she is?" Randhir asked.

"No, the London authorities are very strict and they aren't telling us where she is," Vidhushi responded. "But Uncle is looking into it... he's getting the London police involved."

"I'm going to London," Randhir responded right away and he heard Vidhushi gasp in shock.

"Wait a few days Randhir, I'm sure they'll find her," Vidhushi replied.

"No I don't trust anyone. I'm going there!" Randhir said decisively.

Vidhushi paused for a few moments as if she was in deep thought.

"Okay I'll come with you," she replied.

"No!" Randhir replied, "You stay here with Sanyukta's dad and pass information on to me."

"Randhir her dad will call regardless. We can both go there and find her. Come on Randhir, we may be able to find her more quickly if it's two of us," Vidhushi replied.

"Fine," Randhir responded, taking a deep breath. "You can come... but don't get in the way of anything I choose to do."

"Deal," Vidhushi replied.

Randhir then ended the call and booked two tickets to London for the same day. He was one step closer to finding his Sanyukta.

52

As soon as Randhir and Vidhushi stepped foot in the airport of London, England, they took a cab to a hotel before dropping off their belongings in their respective rooms. Then they cabbed to a police station immediately.

"We're looking for this girl," Randhir said, showing a picture of Sanyukta. "She's gone missing... we need to know if she is safe. Her name is Sanyukta Agarwal and she is the daughter of a big businessman Kishore Agarwal."

The police took her picture and filed her details away to make a police report.

"We will investigate," the police officer said, "But right now we have a lot of important cases going on. If you have any proof that she is unsafe then we can move its urgency up... otherwise it can take a while before we can get to this."

"She ran away from home," Randhir answered.

"How old is she?" the officer asked.

"Twenty three," Randhir answered.

"Then this isn't even a police report - she can leave her house and go anywhere at that age," the police officer said, shaking his head. "It's her will... unless she's being threatened or is in immediate danger."

Randhir felt his eyes fill with tears and Vidhushi saw this.

"Look officer she is not the type of person who would leave unexpectedly, so maybe she is being threatened," Vidhushi responded. "We have no proof, but we want to make sure she is safe."

"We have nothing to go off of," the officer responded.

Vidhushi grabbed Randhir's arm.

"Let's get out of here. We'll find her ourselves," Vidhushi said angrily.

Randhir then nodded and followed Vidhushi out onto the open streets of the night.

As they were walking they overheard a conversation.

"Sarah, you shouldn't live somewhere like here if you are pregnant. These slums are dangerous," a girl with a british accent said.

"I - I need money," a familiar voice replied. "I can't use my cards... I can get tracked down."

"I have a job for you," the girl replied. "Will you take it?"

"What?" she asked.

"A bar dancer," the girl then replied.

Randhir turned around immediately - that was his Sanyukta's voice.

"I found her!" he gasped and Vidhushi turned around as well, her eyes wide with shock.

53

"Where?" Vidhushi asked, her eyes wide. "I don't see her."

"Them!" Randhir said, pointing ahead into the distance where two girls were talking to each other.

He closed his eyes and opened them again, but he noticed it was two british girls talking.

"Where?" Vidhushi asked, sounding confused.

"I just heard her... she was just here," Randhir said, sounding confused.

"Did you see her?" Vidhushi asked.

Randhir shook his head.

"No but I... I felt her... I heard her," Randhir whispered. "She was just here... it had to be her."

"Nobody's here Randhir," Vidhushi said. "Come on... it's late, let's go back and sleep. We'll find her in the morning."

Could it be that he was missing her so he heard her voice? Somehow his heart didn't believe that... but surely he would have seen her if he had heard her.

What he didn't know, was that Sanyukta had ducked behind a wall and gasped, having seen him with Vidhushi.

"Please Randhir," she begged to herself. "Please leave and don't search for me."

Finally once they left, she stood up tall and looked at the British girl.

"I - I will do it. I will be a bar dancer," she told the girl, tears in her eyes. "I need money, and for the protection of this baby, I can do anything."

"If you want to think about it, you can," the girl replied, but Sanyukta shook her head.

"I already made my decision," she said decisively. "My life is nothing now anyways... the least I can do is give my child some security."

The British girl nodded and then said, "Tomorrow night will be your first show - for now you can rest."

As Sanyukta went inside the small room, she sat down, exhausted and her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm going to die soon anyways. After I give birth to this baby, I will give them to my parents... but until then I need to keep my baby healthy," she whispered out loud.

The next day, Randhir and Vidhushi went everywhere, showing her picture to everyone they came across. Nobody had seen her.

They were exhausted by the evening and it was only when they were on their way to the hotel, when Vidhushi took the picture to someone random.

"Oh her! Yes Sarah!" the girl replied and Randhir's head shot up.

"Sarah?" Randhir asked, his eyes wide.

"Yes, she's dancing here at our bar tonight after ten...you can come and see her performance!" the girl replied.

"B - bar dancing?" Randhir exclaimed.

"We'll come," Vidhushi said affirmatively.

"Sorry it's for men only," the british girl replied. "He could come but you can't."

Vidhushi frowned but Randhir placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll come and get her. You just stay at the hotel," Randhir responded. "By the way... is there any way we can meet her now?"

"No. You can't meet the dancers before the show," the girl replied. "We won't even tell you where she is staying."

Randhir's eyes filled with tears. His heart was aching to meet his Sanyukta. What had she done to herself? What compelled her to run away from her comfortable life to England where she was now being a bar dancer? Why was this all happening?

Vidhushi touched his shoulder comfortingly.

"We know where is now," Vidhushi said softly, "We will find her."

Randhir nodded. He was finally on the way to meet his Sanyukta, and this thought made him feel relieved.

54

That evening, Randhir went to the bar and sat down. It was ten minutes to ten, and he had a bottle of beer in front of him, waiting for his Sanyukta to enter.

He looked up before she even entered, because he could feel her. She was looking beautiful in a short black dress and a heavy smoky eye look. The only problem was that the dress was way too revealing - it revealed a lot of cleavage and the bottom of the dress was so short that if it was any higher then it would reveal everything. Around her neck was the necklace though - the bent necklace that he had clasped around her neck before she left.

As soon as Sanyukta went to the stage, he saw her force a smile before she started to move her body. He heard some men whistling and he balled his hands into fists.

She got off the stage and danced her way to one of the men.

The general rule was that you were not allowed to touch bar dancers, but this man had a note in his pocket that he had taken out and was about to slip it in her cleavage.

Angrily, Randhir charged towards them, and grabbed his Sanyukta out of his reach.

She fell backwards, but he caught her in his arms. As she looked up at him, her eyes widened with shock.

Randhir didn't even give her a moment to react. He picked her up in his arms, bridal style, and walked out of the bar with her.

One of the security guards tried to stop him, but Randhir was too fast. He had shocked everyone in the bar.

She had tears in her eyes, as he got into a taxi and placed her on his lap, holding her so tightly, that he was afraid of hurting her.

The taxi driver looked at them with surprise, but he didn't care. Sanyukta didn't say a word, and neither did he.

After a few minutes, Randhir took off his jacket and wrapped it around her body, to cover her up, then he went back to silently hugging her.

Once they got to the hotel, Randhir picked her up again in his arms, gathering stares from everyone.

They both had tears in their eyes as they rode the elevator. Sanyukta didn't even struggle against him. She was numb, surprised, guilty, even ashamed.

When he entered the room he kicked the door shut with his foot and sat her down on the bed.

He fell to his knees on the ground in front of her and with tears in his eyes, he let his head fall in her lap.

"Why?" was all he managed to say. "Why - why Sanyukta why?"

55

It was like there was a reason that she was searching for, a reason to not run away from him. She hadn't expected him to come and save her from the bar... and when he picked her up in his arms, she was shocked. It was only once he placed her on his lap in the taxi that she got an idea of what was happening, and by then she had already lost herself again in his love. He had been holding her so tightly, that she didn't have the heart in her to push him away.

She brought her hands up to his head and caressed his hair softly, as he whispered into her lap. His stubble was brushing against the soft skin of her leg, which was exposed because the dress she was wearing was very short.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, meaning it. "Randhir, I'm sorry."

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes before sitting up on the bed beside her and engulfing her in a tight hug again.

"I can't afford to lose you," he replied. "Please, please never leave me."

That was exactly what she was afraid of.

"If I go away, you will stop living?" she asked him softly.

"I can't survive without you," he whispered. "If you go away, how can I live?"

She rubbed his back affectionately and he pressed his face into her neck.

"I love you," he said, his voice muffling into her skin. "Don't ever do something like this again."

"Why did you come here Randhir?" she asked him softly. "Why?"

"I can't live without you... Vidhushi and I came here to find you. She - she's next door," he told her, and then broke the hug.

Sanyukta looked into his tear-filled eyes and her heart ached.

"Please don't do this Randhir," she begged. "You're making it hard for me."

"Why do you want to go so badly?" he asked her. "Why leave your comfortable life to be a bar dancer? Did someone say something to you?"

"What do I tell you Randhir?" she asked him painfully. "I am your criminal... Perhaps I was distracted from my purpose."

Her purpose had been Randhir and always him... and now this baby that was growing in her womb, was now in the way of her purpose. It was now in the way of her Randhir's happiness.

He caressed her cheek lovingly, before leaning forward and kissing her forehead.

"I love you," he whispered. "Please don't go again."

"I - I promise," she whispered in response, unable to fight her purpose anymore, "Now I won't go anywhere."

Then she closed the gap between their lips, and kissed him softly, finally making a decision. The decision was between her happiness and Randhir's. Earlier she had chosen her own... because she couldn't deal with the idea of losing her baby to save her own life... but by pursuing that she wouldn't only be losing her own life, she would be losing Randhir's as well.

If she aborted the child and underwent the treatment, then at least she would be able to save her own life, and in turn save Randhir's.

Each and every breath she took was for Randhir... and until the very last breath, she would leave everything she had, if it meant that he could live on.

56

As they kissed, Randhir learned what heaven meant. One of his hands reached up to the back of her head, holding her lovingly to him, as his other hand rested on her jaw.

He had been so afraid to lose her, but now that she was back in front of him, he would never let her go. He couldn't watch her leave in front of his very own eyes. She was his world, his life, and she meant everything to him.

Without Sanyukta, Randhir Singh Shekhawat was nothing but an empty shell.

Breaking the kiss, Sanyukta cupped his face lovingly.

"I am so sorry," she whispered again, her eyes filling with tears. "I promise you now Randhir, I won't go anywhere."

He kissed her lips again, savouring the feel of her soft lips against his.

"I will die," he murmured against her lips, "If you leave me, I will die."

"Don't say that," she whispered in response, "I will die if I have to, if it means that I can save you."

Randhir just kissed her deeply in response. He couldn't lose her, ever.

Their kisses then turned into more, when their clothes came off one by one and their bodies merged together. Even today, making love was blissful. Even today, they got lost in each other. Even today, it felt like the world's greatest feeling to be so close.

As they fell asleep together, holding hands, Sanyukta knew of one thing and one thing alone: tomorrow morning, she had to go to the clinic and undergo the abortion, so that she could get the tumor removed from her uterus.

If she was committing a sin, then she was willing to take all the karma for it... as long as it kept her Randhir happy. She could live in hell for the rest of her life, if it meant that he would live in heaven.

Sometimes, even if you try to win against destiny though, destiny is destiny, and what is written can never be changed. What is meant to be, will always happen, whether it happens in one way, or in another.

57

Sanyukta was sitting down on a bench outside the abortion clinic alone the next morning. She was giving herself a few moments before she went inside to have the abortion. Placing a hand on her belly, her eyes filled up with tears.

"I am sorry baby," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I am sorry I am letting you go before you even see the light of this world."

She tried to take deep breaths, but she couldn't. It was hard to breathe when she knew that she was about lose a life that belonged to her. It was hard... very hard to go through with this, since she had already fallen in love with her baby.

"I want you to know that mommy loves you a lot, and daddy - daddy would love you so much too. He would give you all the happiness of the world, but baby, your daddy, he isn't as strong as you. I know you want your daddy to be okay, just like your mommy does. If something happens to your mommy, then your daddy won't be okay... you want him to be okay right? You're a strong baby right?" she whispered, as more tears filled her eyes. "I love you so much baby, but I am indebted to the love I have for your father. I have already written my breaths in his name... I am sure you will understand. I can't let anything happen to him. I vowed to protect him... and you are so strong, that I know you will be alright even without us."

Sanyukta wiped the tears that fell from her eyes and she stood up.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore baby. I love you... I love you so much," she whispered, and as her heart ached, she walked into the clinic.

As she waited, she kept her hand on her belly, knowing that there was a fetus growing in there, waiting to come into this world, and she was about to stop that natural process.

"I am so sorry," she whispered again.

Then her name was called, and she thought she would collapse on the way inside.

"Goodbye baby," she whispered as she lay on the operation table. "I know you are meant for a better life. Maybe one day I will also meet you. Until then, farewell."

The doctors then began the surgical procedure, and she closed her eyes, knowing that this would haunt her forever.

58

When Vidhushi woke up that morning, she got out of her room to have breakfast, but she saw Sanyukta leave from Randhir's room, which shocked her. She knew Randhir had gone to find her, and even expected that he'd bring her to the hotel, but she didn't expect Sanyukta to sneak out like that so early in the morning.

All she knew was that she couldn't let Sanyukta escape again.

So Vidhushi followed her, to see where she was going. She followed her all the way to a pregnancy clinic, which shocked her. Vidhushi watched from afar as Sanyukta held her tummy and started to cry. Was her friend pregnant? Why was she at the clinic? Was it to get a check up?

Vidhushi watched as Sanyukta went inside. After a little while, she went inside too and saw that she was in the abortion section. Vidhushi nearly gasped.

The first thing she did was call Randhir.

"Hello?" he said groggily, it was like he had just woken up.

"Sanyukta - Randhir Sanyukta!" Vidhushi said, still in shock.

"I know she's back," Randhir told her.

"No! Randhir she's at a freaking abortion clinic! Get here quickly!" she yelled into the phone.

"What?" Randhir yelled, and she knew he had gotten out of bed and was already running out the door. "Where are you?"

Viudhushi told him the address and she tried to go after Sanyukta who had already gone inside a room, but a nurse stopped her.

"Sorry miss, you aren't allowed in there," the nurse said.

"Look it's urgent," she told the nurse, "My friend doesn't know what she's doing. I need to speak with her!"

"She's already signed the forms and is an adult. She has consented to this. Please wait outside for her, we cannot disrupt the medical procedure," the nurse urged.

Vidhushi felt her eyes sting with tears - all of this was going on, and she hadn't known about it? Why couldn't Sanyukta at least confide in her?

Finally, Randhir arrived and he grabbed Vidhushi's shoulders, shaking her.

"Where is she?" he yelled.

"I - Inside," she whispered.

"You didn't stop her?" he asked.

"I - I couldn't," she replied, and Vidhushi, with tears streaming down her face, looked up and saw a zombie-like Sanyukta walk out of the room.

Randhir looked up and saw her before running to her and grabbing her shoulders.

"What did you do Sanyukta?" he gasped. "Why did you do it? Why didn't you tell me?"

Sanyukta just looked at him, her face expressionless, before she shrugged him off and continued to walk past him and Vidhushi.

Randhir and Vidhushi exchanged a glance and she indicated that she would leave. Randhir nodded and then ran after Sanyukta to grab her arm.

Sanyukta pulled her arm out of his grip and continued to walk, her face neutral.

"Don't you have a heart?" Randhir bellowed, once they got outside. "How could you just get rid of a baby like that? Was it so easy?"

Sanyukta then stopped in her tracks and turned around, unable to look him in the eye. How could he understand the turmoil she went through to take this step?

"Sanyukta I can't believe you did something like that. I didn't expect it from you...you didn't even tell me. Why? Did you think I would get angry? That I wouldn't want the baby?" he asked her.

She continued to look down, allowing him to yell at her. After all, she deserved this. She was ashamed of herself. She was still in shock to even react to what he was saying.

"How could you be so heartless?" he yelled, and he felt his own eyes get wet, "We could have given it a nice life... I don't understand you anymore! Is your love real or not? Maybe I was mistaken to think it was true."

Her body, her heart, her mind, everything ached, listening to his words.

But her soul, it was untouched. Her soul still loved him, and for the sake of her soul, she continued to listen to him.

59

From his perspective, he was completely right, and Sanyukta understood that. She hid this from him. The truth was that she didn't want to tell him and worry him. She wanted to quietly get rid of the cancer, so he wouldn't stress out over it... but as usual, destiny was not on her side.

She kept on looking down as he scolded her - he called her heartless. He accused her for not having feelings. How could she even explain to him that it was because she had such strong feelings that she took this step?

"I don't understand how you could take this step on your own," he told her, and she could tell that he was hurt.

She never wanted to hurt him.

Perhaps pain was written in his destiny and separation was written in hers.

"I'm sorry," she finally said with tears filling her eyes as she spoke for the first time after the operation. "I'm sorry Randhir."

"Why did you do it Sanyukta?" he asked her, his voice cracked.

He fell to his knees in front of her and placed his cheek over her belly, where their baby should have been.

Sanyukta felt her heart ache, seeing him like this.

"I - I -" she started, not sure what to tell him... she knew she couldn't tell him that she had cancer. It would hurt him far too much. "I just got scared."

Tears fell from Randhir's eyes and wet Sanyukta's dress. Sanyukta's lips trembled before she started to cry too.

How could she tell Randhir how horrible and disgusted she felt with herself right now? She just wanted him to hug her tightly and tell her that he was there. She needed him.

"Why did you hide this from me?" he whispered, and then stood up tall.

She reached up to wipe his tears, but he took a step back so she couldn't touch him.

"I didn't want you to worry," she whispered softly.

"Worry?" he asked her incredulously. "Sanyukta you think I would have worried? You don't know me at all then."

She held back a sob as more tears fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again. "I truly didn't want to hurt you Randhir... it was so painful for me to do this... but I didn't have a choice."

"You did have a choice," he told her darkly. "But you were a coward. You didn't have the courage to go through with it. I've lost all respect for you."

Her heart shattered into an uncountable number of pieces. She knew he was just angry and he would cool down. She couldn't even blame him. She lied to him, she hid the truth from him...and she was still lying to him.

"Do you hate me?" she asked him painfully.

"I can't ever hate you," he spat to her, "But now the thought that I love you disgusts me. I can't even look at you."

He turned around from her.

"R - Randhir," she called out, "Are you going to - to leave me?"

"I don't know," he answered. "The thought of leaving you hurts, but the thought of being with you is too much."

Then he walked away from her and she fell to her knees, the ground hitting her hard. She started to sob uncontrollably, and clutched her stomach where her baby used to be.

"I - I am sorry," she choked through her tears.

She was apologizing to her lost baby, to her lost love, and to herself. She was apologizing to everyone she had hurt directly or indirectly.

She didn't know yet that sometime soon, her breaths were about to get cut short, when one incident would change her world forever.

60

Vidhushi watched this encounter between Randhir and Sanyukta from afar, because she feared that exactly this was going to happen. As soon as Randhir left, Vidhushi ran to her best friend and fell on her knees before engulfing Sanyukta in a tight hug.

Sanyukta didn't know what destiny was doing. First destiny itself pushed her down to the ground, caused her so much pain, and destiny itself was sending someone to hug her, to comfort her, to help get rid of her pains. Was this called compassion?

She cried and cried as Vidhushi held her tightly, until she didn't have it in her anymore to cry.

"I lost him," she sobbed, and Vidhushi rubbed her back soothingly. "I lost them both."

Randhir may be able to misunderstand Sanyukta, but there was no way that Vidhushi would. She knew her best friend since their college days. She knew how pure her heart was. Sanyukta would never undergo an abortion unless there was a reason for it.

"Why did you do it?" she finally asked, pulling herself away from Sanyukta.

Sanyukta looked at Vidhushi and her lips trembled again.

"I did it for him," she cried. "B - but I can't tell him that."

"Why? I'll tell him!" Vidhushi said seriously, "I'll tell him who you did it for... I'll tell him why you did it. He will understand. He has to!"

"Vidhushi please don't say anything. Maybe he's better off hating me. It's good if he doesn't think well of me, because it doesn't even look like he's the one in my destiny," she said, her voice cracked. "It doesn't look like we're meant to be."

"What nonsense. Destiny Sanyukta? Really?" Vidhushi snapped. "You make it work! Don't hide things from him and expect him to understand. Come with me!"

Then she grabbed Sanyukta's arm and pulled her up. Sanyukta was too startled to react. It was only when Vidhushi hailed a cab and took Sanyukta back to the hotel that her heart began to beat furiously.

"You are telling him why you did it. I don't know why you did it, but I will not be able to take it Sanyukta if you don't tell him. He deserves to know. He loves you like a fool!" Vidhushi said. "Look, I love you and you're my best friend... but if you're doing something to hurt him, then I won't even stand by and watch it."

Sanyukta looked at Vidhushi with surprise.

"Why?" she asked softly. "Do you have feelings for Randhir?"

"I feel bad for him," Vidhushi replied. "I hurt him so much before, and now he's going through the same thing except worse with you. He loves you so much, yet you're breaking his heart. I don't know why you're doing this to him Sanyukta, but Randhir does not deserve it."

Sanyukta smiled.

"You like him don't you?" she asked Vidhushi.

"Sanyukta I wouldn't like him even if I could," she replied. "I told you I feel bad for him. Now stop being so awkward! He's my ex."

"You do like him," Sanyukta replied, "And it's okay, he is so likable. I don't blame you... Vidhushi, if ever something happens to me, you will take care of him right?"

"What the hell Sanyukta?" she gasped. "What are you going on about? Stop spewing out nonsense."

"You will," Sanyukta said firmly, and then got out of the taxi cab and went into the hotel to find Randhir.

Vidhushi, after paying the cab driver, went upstairs with Sanyukta. Vidhushi knocked on the door. Sanyukta was beside the door, hidden.

Randhir opened the door, and Vidhushi saw that his eyes were red, like he was crying.

"Vidhushi," Randhir whispered, and tears fell from his eyes, as he engulfed her in a tight hug right there. "She hurt me Vidhushi... how could she hurt me?"

Sanyukta felt her heart ache as she witnessed the pain that Randhir felt... but her heart also felt warm, because she didn't trust her own destiny. One day, if something happened to her, at least she knew that he would have someone to take care of him.

"S - Sanyukta is here," Vidhushi whispered, and Randhir let go of her with shock.

61

Sanyukta nervously stepped towards Randhir, looking down at the ground. Randhir grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the room angrily.

"Randhir," Vidhushi intervened, "Please understand her... she had no choice."

Randhir ignored Vidhushi and slammed the door shut, locking her out of the room.

"Why did you come here?" he yelled.

Sanyukta fell to his feet and started to sob uncontrollably.

"I hurt you so much Randhir, I'm sorry," she sobbed, holding on to his feet and pressing her cheek against them. "I am so sorry. Please forgive me."

He looked down at her fallen figure and his heart hurt. He didn't want to see her like that. He fell to the ground too and held her shoulders. She just threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, before crying even more.

"I need you," she choked. "I will die if you aren't with me."

"Then die!" he yelled, trying to pull her off him. "Just stay away from me!"

She felt another stab in her heart and she let go of him.

"Is that why you came all the way here from India?" she asked him. "To tell me to die?"

Randhir's eyes filled with tears.

"I came here to take you back with me," he said hoarsely, "I thought I could love you even if you hated me, but I guess I'm not strong enough to take this kind of deceit."

Sanyukta then stood up and sniffled.

"I - I'll go Randhir," she told him softly. "I'll go far away... but you have to promise me you won't miss me."

"I - I won't ever miss a bitch like you," he snarled. "I know why you ran here now. It was so you could do the abortion. In India, you were afraid that people would recognize you and it would tamper with your reputation."

Sanyukta smiled at him through her tears. As usual, Randhir misunderstood her intentions. As usual, he undermined her love for him. And as usual, he was using the hatred he felt towards himself and spewing it all out at her.

"One - one last time Randhir," she whispered painfully, "One last time, tell me that you will be happier without me."

"Of course I would be," he said coldly, and she wiped her tears with her hands.

"Then I'll go... I'll go forever. This time, you won't even be able to have me come back in your life if you change your mind. Are you sure?" she asked him.

"Get out!" he yelled angrily. "Just get out of my life. I don't want to see your face again. I hate you!"

"It's okay," she whispered. "I will go. And... and I promise you, that I won't come back to bother you. Goodbye Randhir."

She stepped out of his room, to walk out of his life... but she vowed that even though she was walking away from him today, she would watch over him and protect him from afar until her very last breath.

62

Vidhushi was waiting outside the room, scared that if she left then Sanyukta would escape again and she would have no way of finding her best friend again. When Sanyukta came out of the room tearfully, she looked up at Vidhushi.

"He's really angry," she said softly, "I guess I committed a sin."

Vidhushi placed a reassuring hand on Sanyukta's shoulder.

"We can convince him," Vidhushi said. "I know he'll be convinced."

"He won't be. Not this time," Sanyukta whispered.

Not unless she told him the truth... and she couldn't do that because the truth would hurt him more than her lie would.

"Come stay with me," Vidhushi urged but Sanyukta shook her head.

"I am going back to India Vidhushi. I'll see you there," she said.

"No!" Vidhushi denied. "You will come back with us."

"I swear I won't run off. When you come back I'll meet you... I just have to get my stuff from where I've been staying. I promise I'll see you soon," Sanyukta told her best friend and then gave her a tight hug, before whispering, "Please take care of Randhir."

"Sanyukta, please don't go," Vidhushi said, her own eyes filling with tears, "You're the only one who can handle him."

Sanyukta broke the hug and looked Vidhushi in the eye.

"If I could handle him, he wouldn't be a miserable wreck right now," she said firmly. "I'll see you soon."

Then she turned around and walked away.

Vidhushi then entered Randhir's room slowly, scared of what was to come.

She saw that Randhir was on the ground, weeping. Vidhushi fell to the ground too and hugged him tightly.

"I know it's hard Randhir," Vidhushi said, her voice cracking, "I know you're angry and I know you've been wronged... but please don't torture yourself... please."

"I don't know what the point of love is anymore," he said, heartbroken. "I just don't know why it had to be her."

"I - I'm sorry," Vidhushi whispered, and Randhir pushed her back.

"You hurt me too didn't you?" he snarled and she nodded, choking.

"I'm sorry... I am so sorry," she whispered and pressed her hands together in front of him, "Believe me, it was only after we broke up that I realized how much you meant to me."

He looked at her with surprise.

"What?" he gasped.

"Nothing," she replied, wiping her tears. "Let's catch the earliest flight back to India."

"I think I'll die," he said hoarsely.

"Don't say that," Vidhushi replied, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "I promise everything will be okay."

Randhir then pulled her close to him again in another hug.

"You won't hurt me again will you?" he asked, sounding scared. "I'm scared to trust."

"I won't hurt you," she vowed. "I've hurt you enough in this lifetime."

Then he placed his hand on Vidhushi's cheek, and he looked into her eyes. As he leaned towards her to close the gap, Vidhushi pushed him backwards.

"What are you doing?" she gasped, "Sanyukta is my best friend! How could you even think about doing that with me?"

"I... I feel too lost," he replied. "I need to feel something with someone else."

"You want to use me as your rebound?" she asked him, her heart aching.

"I don't know," he murmured. "If I ever had strong feelings for anyone else, it was you."

"Look Randhir, you aren't in the right frame of mind right now. Get ready, I'm booking flight tickets," she told him.

Randhir just leaned back against his bed and closed his eyes as more tears fell. Vidhushi left his room and locked herself in her own room, her heart beating erratically.

"Oh Sanyukta, please don't put me in this situation," she begged out loud to nobody. "I only learned that I loved him after I left him... and now he loves you and you love him. I can't come between... I can't hurt either of you. I was too late, and I deserve to be alone, but neither of you do."

She wiped her tears with her hands before taking out her phone to book the flight tickets.

All she knew was that she wanted Randhir to be happy, and his happiness rested with Sanyukta and Sanyukta only, so she would do whatever it took to keep them together.

Time was limited though, especially Sanyukta's. Vidhushi did not know how precious her time would be yet.

63

The first thing Sanyukta did once she got to India was get the tumour removed. She knew that Randhir was angry, and maybe he would come to take her back... perhaps it was hope, or perhaps it was love and concern for him... but whatever it was, she wanted to leave the option open for him.

it was true that she didn't feel like living without him, but the task of a lover was never to die without your love - it was to feel your love even in the separation, and for Sanyukta, even if Randhir was miles away, she was happy to just be there, existing, for the possibility that he could find her if maybe, just maybe he needed her.

"The tumour is gone," the doctor said positively, and Sanyukta sat up on the bed after the operation. "I'm glad you took the decision to abort the child."

Sanyukta's eyes filled with tears - it was not she who made the decision, but it had been her love for Randhir.

"Come back for another check up in two weeks. There is a possibility that the tumour has spread but sometimes it can take a few weeks to leave any evidence behind. Don't forget!" the doctor urged.

Sanyukta nodded and got off the bed.

"Thank you doctor," she said with a smile.

"Rest for a bit," the doctor advised.

"I'll be okay doctor. I just have some things I need to settle," she informed her. "But I will rest at home. If I have any problems, I will come back."

"You're very stubborn Sanyukta," the doctor said, shaking her head. "I hope this stubborn nature doesn't land you in trouble later on."

How could she explain to the doctor that she had landed herself in the trouble of love, and the trouble of love was such a blissful kind of trouble?

As Sanyukta left the hospital, she touched the diamond pendant on her chest softly.

"I'm here if you need me Randhir," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. "And I will always watch over you."

At that moment, she received a phone call on her reactivated phone, and she saw it was from Vidhushi.

"Thank God," Vidhushi said, breathing a sigh of relief. "You reactivated your phone. I need to see you."

"Yes, where do you want to meet?" Sanyukta asked, knowing that she had to meet Vidhushi too.

As soon as Vidhushi gave her the address of a cafe, Sanyukta got in a cab and made her way there, knowing she wasn't in the right condition to drive.

When she got there, Vidhushi had already sat down on one of the tables and ordered two cappuccino's for them.

"Sanyukta please do something and go back to him... he's so broken," was the first thing Vidhushi said. "I can't watch over him like this... please understand."

Sanyukta took a sip of her cappuccino and eyed Vidhushi suspiciously.

"What do you mean? Why can't you?" Sanyukta asked.

"Sanyukta he's going crazy without you... he wants to revive what he feels for you with others... he tried to kiss me in his room after you left, but of course I didn't," Vidhushi said defensively. "I can't be around him like this Sanyukta."

Sanyukta's eyes widened as Vidhushi confessed what happened in the hotel room to Sanyukta.

"You love him Vidhushi," Sanyukta then said after a few moments of silence, "And I don't know whether he loves you or not, but what he felt towards me was not strong enough. Maybe you can bring him out of this madness. He doesn't even want to look at me now."

"Don't use me Sanyukta," Vidhushi begged, "Yes I know I have feelings for him, and I know that any lover will be able to see the feelings of another lover, but I can't do it. I am not strong like you. I will break if I go near him."

Sanyukta paused and sighed.

"Fair enough then," she replied. "Stay away from him. And let him be alone for a while... he'll be sad but will get over it eventually, and then he will start to pick up the broken pieces of his life again."

"But I don't understand Sanyukta," Vidhushi urged. "Please tell me why this is even happening? Why didn't you tell him about the baby? Why did you do your abortion? And now why don't you take him back?"

"I did everything for him Vidhushi. I can't see him in so much pain, but perhaps I put him in a greater pain now. I won't take him back now because I respect him. Until he wants me in his life, I will stay out of it," she told Vidhushi seriously. "No matter what I say to him, he won't understand. And if I tell him the truth, perhaps he won't even believe me. So it's not worth it. I don't want to be around him if my love is only going to make him weak."

Vidhushi nodded, unable to make any decisions on behalf of either Randhir or Sanyukta, but what she knew was that she was going to try to bring them back together, even if it caused her to suffer to the nth degree.

64

Randhir was broken. He had no reason to live anymore. All he wanted to do was die. He didn't leave his room for two weeks, until finally he looked at his phone and saw many missed calls from his father regarding work. All of the messages were threats to get him removed from the Shekhawat business. He had missed too much work.

That was when he picked himself up from the ground and felt the sunlight for the first time in weeks.

When he went to his office, his father was waiting for him there.

"Good job Randhir, I am proud of you. All in one night, you did two weeks of missed work," his father said with a proud smile. "I knew my son is a genius, and he makes up for everything he missed!"

Randhir looked up with shock. He hadn't done anything. Randhir forced himself to smile and muttered, "I'm going to my office."

His father patted him on the back and let him go. As Randhir sat in his chair, he leaned back and wondered what exactly just happened - how could two weeks of work be completed overnight when he hadn't even come into the office?

Randhir then looked around his office for signs of evidence, but it looked like all the evidence had been cleared up.

He went upstairs to check the CCTV footage from last night, and in the footage, there was someone wearing a long loose jacket and loose jeans, their face covered. He couldn't even make out if it was a male or female. Once that person entered, the CCTV footage had been deleted.

"Was there nobody on duty last night?" Randhir asked the security guard.

"Sorry sir," the guard said, sounding guilty, "Nothing ever happens, so I fell asleep."

"What the hell?" Randhir hissed. "How could you? Who did all this work?"

At a coffeeshop across the street, Sanyukta was sitting with her face buried in her hands, having had a long and exhausting night where she completed all of the office work for Randhir. Luckily, she still had the keys to his cabin. Yesterday, she heard her father speaking to someone about Randhir Singh Shekhawat bringing his business down because he hadn't been doing his work.

What Randhir probably didn't even know was that he wasn't the only genius - she had beat him at his game before, and to help him win this time, she was going to do everything she could do in her power to save him.

65

When she made the vow to herself that she would look after him, she meant it. Every step he took, she would take alongside him. She had married him from her heart, and she would fulfill her duties as his wife from her soul.

As the next few months passed, she continued to watch Randhir and help him silently. For example, if he was ever missing a pen, she would wait for him to turn around and drop a pen in front of him.

Randhir started to consider himself lucky, but in reality, his luck was Sanyukta.

Vidhushi started to talk to Randhir again slowly, after he got out of his depression. She kept her distance, but both Sanyukta and Vidhushi feared that if he didn't have a friend, it would send him right back into his depression.

"He's living his life now," Vidhushi said, with a smile after a few months. "He's starting to smile... maybe he's moving on."

"I'm so happy," Sanyukta said, tears filling her eyes. "Thank you Vidhushi."

"Don't thank me... we have a common goal," she told Sanyukta happily. "But Sanyukta, I think his anger has cooled down by a lot now, maybe you can approach him?"

"I'm not going to approach him," she said firmly. "If he wants me, he can come and find me. I don't want to unleash any of his feelings from the past."

Vidhushi nodded.

"It's your choice. Anyways, I have to go meet him now. He asked me to have a coffee with him," she said with with a smile.

Sanyukta looked up at Vidhushi and a fresh layer of tears filled her eyes. Grabbing her best friend's hand, Sanyukta whispered, "If he likes you, then don't hesitate because of me."

"I am nothing in his eyes in front of you Sanyukta," Vidhushi told her, and squeezed her hand. "Trust me."

"I don't want it to be that way... I don't want him to think about me so highly," she voiced. "Anyways, you go... he must be waiting. I'll see you some other time."

Vidhushi nodded and left.

When Vidhushi was sitting with Randhir in the cafe, he looked at her thoughtful expression.

"You're thinking about something?" he asked her.

She didn't know whether to bring it up or not, but she needed to see what he felt today.

"Yes, about Sanyukta," Vidhushi said out loud and she watched as anger took over his features and his hands balled into fists.

"Why the hell are you bringing her up?" he hissed.

"Don't - don't you think it's time to give her a call? Or see her? It has been a while," Vidhushi said softly. "I think it's a good idea."

Randhir just got up and stormed out of the cafe, leaving Vidhushi in tears. How was she going to unite two stubborn hearts?

That evening, Sanyukta had a strong urge to go the place where they had walked on coals. She didn't know what made her do it, but she went into her car and began to drive there. Perhaps she was looking for some kind of confirmation, that what she was doing was right... or perhaps it was because she was grateful that that place had given her so much.

Randhir on the other hand, had already made up his mind to go there that same evening because that place gave him peace and solitude.

He didn't know that his solitude was going to be interrupted that night by the girl he was so desperately trying to forget.

66

Randhir got there first. When he got there, he saw that the Shaikh was sitting at his usual spot with a blissful smile on his face. As Randhir approached him, he looked up.

"Ah you were expected," the Shaikh said, "What brings you here?"

"If you know, then why do you ask?" Randhir asked, and fell to the ground beside the Shaikh. "Why are you so powerful, yet you ask?"

"It is so you can see that you do not know," the Shaikh answered.

Randhir was confused - as usual, he would perhaps never understand the Shaikh's words.

"I came to search for something," Randhir answered. "I don't know what."

"The part of you that will complete you," the Shaikh replied to him. "That is what you are seeking."

Randhir looked at the Shaikh inquisitively, deciding it was better not to say anything.

"You came to the right place. You will find her here. Remember one thing... wishes cannot be reversed, only reapplied," the Shaikh said. "Words cannot be erased, only said again."

He did not understand a single thing the Shaikh said.

"Time is limited. There are many different forms of love, and the most true one will surpass the test of time," the Shaikh continued. "Will you realize this before time runs out? Only love can move destiny's heart... but remember, karma will not vanish. It will go somewhere else."

Randhir was taken aback by what the Shaikh was saying - why was he even talking about love?

"Ah there she is. There is the one you have been seeking so anxiously. She has replied to the calling of your heart," the Shaikh said before closing his eyes and smiling. "Now, it is up to you to decide if you want to respond to the flame of desire that burns in her heart for you."

Randhir turned around and saw her - the girl he was struggling to forget. Sanyukta. His Sanyukta. She was wearing a salwar suit and his necklace was still hanging from her neck.

Tears filled his eyes as he stood up. She looked at him with tears in her eyes as well, for some reason not surprised. Now she realized that she was not here of her own accord... she was called here by destiny. It had never been her decision to come here.

They slowly approached each other holding back tears, then without saying a word, Randhir engulfed her in a tight hug, and she hugged him back, burying her face in his chest, losing herself in his embrace.

67
As they embraced each other tightly, Randhir buried his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent after so many months. The time away from her had killed him, although he tried to show the world that he was happy and alive. In reality, he had been far from it.

There hadn't been a single moment where he hadn't missed her. Every single second of every single day was spent thinking about her - many times he had felt anger, but even behind his anger there was a lot of love.

"I am sorry," she whispered, finally breaking the embrace. "I am sorry Randhir for everything I have ever done to hurt you."

He cupped her cheeks lovingly and kissed her forehead.

"Forget about it all," he whispered. "Let's forget it all and start fresh. Let's begin anew Sanyukta."

With tears in her eyes, she nodded, happy to have her Randhir back. She was happy that he was able to forgive her - perhaps this place was the magical one.

As Randhir looked into her eyes, he realized how much he truly missed her.

"Never go away from me again Sanyukta," he whispered.

"I won't," she replied affirmatively. "I will be here right - right with you."

All of a sudden, she felt a dizzy spell get cast on her and she fell forward in his arms.

Shocked, Randhir held her against him before calling her name, "Sanyukta? Wake up Sanyukta!"

Why was it that she always had to pass out here?

Randhir turned around to glance at the Shaikh.

"Take her to the hospital," the Shaikh instructed. "There you will be one step closer in learning about your fate... remember this though, you may hear a lot of things that could hurt you or make you feel guilty, but the amount you owe to her love at the end of the day binds you to her. You cannot run away."

Then the Shaikh closed his eyes, as if entering a deep meditation again.

Scared for what was to come, Randhir picked her up in his arms and took Sanyukta to the hospital.

Once he was at the hospital and the doctors did a check up, one doctor sighed loudly, "Her cancer is back. We told her to come back two weeks after her operation for another check up, but she never came back."

"C - Cancer?" Randhir asked, shocked. "O - operation?"

Suddenly the reality of what his Sanyukta went through over the last several months unraveled in front of him.

68
Randhir felt like his world had been destroyed. He felt like he had been destroyed. Smashed into something that was not even a part of this world anymore.

"Are you her family member?" the doctor inquired.

"Yes," Randhir lied, desperately needing to know what Sanyukta had done to herself, yet fearing the world.

"We asked her to terminate her pregnancy so we could do the operation to get rid of her cancer. If she didn't do it, by the time she had given birth, she would have entered perhaps even her last stage of cancer. She refused at first, then came back a while later after doing it. We did the surgery and had the tumour removed. We asked her to come back in two weeks for another checkup... we could have caught this tumour then, but it looks like she was too busy in her world," the doctor explained.

Randhir held the bed for support. He thought he would collapse. So that was the reason she had run off to London... to run away from him, so she could give birth to the baby and then die. Then when Randhir had gone to bring her back, she saw that he wouldn't be able to live without her, so she made the painful decision to abort her own baby.

She did it for him.

It was always for him.

He glanced down at Sanyukta's figure, who was lying down, sleeping... it was almost like she was in peace with herself. How could she be? After doing all of that? After hurting herself, after practically killing herself... no it was he who hurt her, it was he who killed her.

Randhir couldn't bear it. The ache in his chest was far too strong.

He stumbled backwards, until he walked out of the room numbly. He walked outside the hospital, in the garden, and he just fell to his knees.

"Why Sanyukta?" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. "Why did you have to love me so much?"

Now, she was heading towards her death. It was all because of him. Hadn't he wished death upon her? Hadn't he spat out so venomously to her that he wanted her to go and die? Hadn't he walked on coals, wishing that she would leave his life?

How could he be so cruel, so heartless?

With shaking hands, he took out his phone and dialed Vidhushi's number.

"S - Sanyukta has - has cancer," Randhir said. "C - come to the hospital."

Then the phone dropped from his hands. He couldn't stay here, but he couldn't leave Sanyukta alone, so he called Vidhushi.

As he got up to leave from here, an empty feeling within, he remembered the Shaikh's words.

"You cannot run away."

How could he run away? She was destined to be his saviour, his guardian angel. Now, he couldn't run away from her... if he couldn't bear his guilt, it was not a reason to leave her alone now.

Even if he would die a new death each time he looked at her, it was what he deserved. Trembling, he stepped back into the hospital, ready to face the repercussions of pushing away the love who had touched him with such purity.

69
Sanyukta still hadn't opened her eyes, and Randhir was waiting outside the room, leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest. He looked up at the ceiling to control the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Randhir!" he heard Vidhushi's voice call out and he glanced down as she ran up to him.

His arms dropped to his side, as he saw that her eyes were red, like she had been crying a lot.

"Where is she?" she asked him.

"She still hasn't opened her eyes," Randhir whispered. "The doctors are doing more tests right now too - they have gone to the lab to examine her reports."

Vidhushi covered her mouth with her hands and started to sob uncontrollably.

"This was why she did everything," she cried.

"She did it for me," Randhir whispered hoarsely. "She aborted her child so she could remove the tumour so she could stand by me... she didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt me... but now it's back."

It was almost like he was still making sense of it that someone would do all of that for him.

Vidhushi wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly as she sobbed.

"Don't blame yourself," she cried. "Sanyukta's crazy in your love."

Randhir hugged her back and tried to hold back his own tears.

"It is my fault though," he whispered, "I wished death upon her... I walked on burning coals to get her out of my life... who does that? Who is so heartless?"

The tears spilled out of his eyes one by one and Vidhushi let go of him, looking up with shock.

"Burning coals?" she asked him. "Where?"

"I didn't know that it would actually take her away from me... I was just so angry," he whispered. "It was somewhere not too far from here."

He gave Vidhushi the location, and Vidhushi cupped his cheeks, looking straight into his eyes.

"Randhir, I don't know if what I'm about to do will work... all of this feels stupid to me too, but I love Sanyukta so much... I'm desperate. I have to go. I'll come back later," she urged.

"Where are you going?" he asked, sounding confused.

"I'll tell you after," she informed and then ran out of there to the place where Randhir and Sanyukta had once walked on the coals.

As soon as Vidhushi got there, she removed her shoes immediately. Before she could step on the coals though, the Shaikh's voice called out, "Focus on what you want! Remember, if you ask for someone's karma to be removed, you will only take the burden upon yourself."

Vidhushi looked back at the Shaikh and with tears in her eyes she said, "I'm ready."

Then she painfully set foot on the hot coals, her one wish being, "Please let Randhir and Sanyukta be happy together."

Somewhere, deep down, even she knew what this meant.

On the other side at the hospital, the doctor approached Randhir after checking up on Sanyukta's tests.

"Luckily she hasn't gone past the first stage of cancer," the doctor said, "We're going to prepare the operation to get rid of the tumour right away."

Randhir nodded, a wave of hope filling him up.

"Can you save her?" he asked, his heart beating fast.

"Yes," the doctor replied, a positive smile on her face.

70

As soon as she finished walking on the coals, she managed to get to the Shaikh before she weakly fell at his feet. Pressing her hands together, with tears in her eyes and a strong ache in her chest, she bowed in front of him.

"I don't believe in any of this," she whispered, "I still think I'm crazy for walking on burning coals... but I'm desperate... I can't see the girl who I've considered as my sister die... I can't see tears in my love's eyes. He loves her... I can't watch him break down."

The Shaikh placed a hand on her head, blessing her.

"It is okay to not think you believe. In reality, your soul already believes... otherwise no matter how desperate you were, you would not find yourself here. That is all," the Shaikh answered, "You have done a lot for the one you love, and for him you are making the ultimate sacrifice."

Vidhushi glanced up at the Shaikh, and wiped her tears with her fingers.

"All I know is this... I've hurt Randhir in the past. When I walked away from him, was only when I realized how much I actually felt for him. Now, everytime I see his eyes fill with tears, I feel like a thousand knives stab me in my heart," she explained. "He loves Sanyukta. And I love Sanyukta too. B - but, Randhir... I just can't help but ache for him. I don't want his love anymore. I just want to see him smile."

The Shaikh smiled at her and nodded.

"You will get what you want," he explained. "Know this though, this sacrifice will land you in a beautiful place. You are letting yourself go for the sake of someone else. You are taking someone's else's karma upon your shoulders. While you will have to go through something that sounds so terrible, it is going to be the most beautiful act. This is what moves the heart of destiny... when someone is willing to sacrifice all that they have for the sake of someone else."

"Then Sanyukta has also moved the heart of destiny," Vidhushi replied proudly.

"She has," the Shaikh confirmed. "So has Randhir. He is also making the ultimate sacrifice right now. He is not succumbing to his feelings and running away like he normally does. He is standing by her, despite what he feels."

Vidhushi looked up at the Shaikh with shock, surprised that he knew so much about what was happening.

"But someone has to take the burden upon themselves right?" Vidhushi asked, her voice cracking.

The Shaikh closed his eyes, entering a meditative state and nodded.

"Tomorrow," he told her, "Tomorrow is the day that all accounts need to be balanced. Now go... go to your friends, because they need you."

"B - but what do I do?" Vidhushi asked him.

"You will know when the time comes, what action you will need to take. In the end, you will get to make the decision. You will hold the sword. Destiny will act through your body. You will think you have free will, but in reality, you never did," the Shaikh said, his eyes still closed. "Now go. There is not much time."

Vidhushi nodded, and stumbled to her car, confused by what was happening... but knowing that whatever would happen, would happen because it was what was always meant to happen.

71

Randhir had to deal with himself. He had to deal with this burden of guilt, this pain, this heartache, this insanity that he was feeling. He had no choice. He loved her. For her sake, he had to conquer himself.

"We took a deeper look into it, and while the tumour is a smaller one than the last one... it's actually deeper within. There is a risk associated with this surgery," the doctor said, coming out of the operation theatre, and explaining to Randhir. "Either way, we have no choice but to do the surgery, although it's quite risky to perform surgery that deep into her uterus."

"Just help her doctor," Randhir said, tears filling his eyes. "Do what will save her."

"Should we go ahead with the operation then?" the doctor asked, and he nodded.

"Yes, please do it," Randhir begged. "Anything for her."

The doctor then went back in the operation theatre to finish the surgery. Once the operation was finished, she came out of the theatre again and placed a hand on Randhir's shoulder reassuringly.

"We can't say anything right now. The tumour is removed and she's drifting in and out of sleep, but only time can tell if she will be okay," the doctor explained. "We have to keep her under observation for a few days."

"Thank you doctor... can I meet her?" he then asked, and the doctor nodded.

As Randhir went inside the room, he saw that Sanyukta's eyes were open, though slightly. She looked feeble and pale.

"Randhir," she whispered.

One glance at her and he knew that separation was written in his destiny. She was going to leave him... they tried to battle destiny, but destiny always had its way.

So what if a tumour was removed?

Destiny would still snatch away the one who belonged to them.

Randhir fell on the bed next to her and caressed her hair.

"How could you do this to me?" he whispered to her. "Why are you drifting away? You will be okay right?"

Somewhere, he was already feeling a loss.

"I don't feel like I will be okay," she whispered in response. "I feel like I can sleep at any point now... maybe even sleep forever."

"Don't say that," he told her and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "I know you've done everything for me... I know the truth now Sanyukta. I know how much you loved me, and even if I can love you half a percent as much as you loved me, I will be happy."

Sanyukta smiled sadly at him.

"Randhir don't waste your life over me," she murmured. "I don't know if I can make it. I need to sleep..."

"Don't - don't sleep," he whispered fearfully. "If you sleep I'm afraid you won't wake up."

"Randhir know one thing," she told him, and then went on to tell him the prologue of her life.

72

"Your name will be on my dying lips," she whispered as she lay in the hospital bed, her lips chapped, her face pale. "All I will chant is your name. You are who I have lived for, and I will die remembering you too."

"Please don't do this to me," he told her hoarsely, his voice cracked, for he knew that time was short. "If you go, what will I do here?"

"Randhir, Randhir, Randhir," she whispered, and closed her eyes as her feeble body fell into a deep slumber.

"Sanyukta," he said hoarsely, "Please wake up."

She was slipping away from him, her breaths were getting slower. His time with her was limited, although eternity was what he wanted.

"Sanyukta," he called out hopelessly, a longing ache in his chest.

She had already dedicated her last breath to him, but he vowed that he would write off all the breaths he had left in her name. He had already hurt her too much in this lifetime.

He took her hand in his gently, rubbing small circles with his thumb on her soft skin.

"From this moment, this Randhir Singh Shekhawat promises you Sanyukta Agarwal, that I will die to love you," he told her, feeling his eyes get wet. "Even if I am in a living hell, I will make sure I love you the right way. Everything I have belongs to you now... my mind, my body, my soul. It is all yours."

As the first tears fell from the corners of his eyes, he noticed her lips curve upwards ever so slightly. It was almost as if she heard him.

They never took marriage vows, but for some reason these dying vows felt more real than it could get.

73

It was just past sunrise, when Vidhushi got to the hospital. When she went into the room, she saw that Randhir was next to a sleeping Sanyukta, with her hand clasped in between his own.

Vidhushi approached him slowly, trying to walk normally so he wouldn't suspect anything.

"How is she?" Vidhushi asked, and sat next to him on a chair.

"She went through a surgery to remove the tumour," Randhir explained. "But since it was so deep in her uterus there are complications... we don't know yet if she's okay or not... but judging by how she looks right now, she - she won't -"

He couldn't even bring himself to say it because tears filled his eyes again. He felt Vidhushi's arm wrap around him, rubbing his back soothingly.

"She will be okay," Vidhushi told him confidently. "Have faith."

"I wish I could give my own life to save her," he told her.

"You want to put her in a living hell?" Vidhushi asked him. "She won't be able to live without you... the purpose of her whole life has been you and only you."

"I guess we should die together then," Randhir responded sadly. "If I can't live in a world without her, and she can't live in a world without me, it's better to just die together."

"Or live together," Vidhushi pointed out. "Why do the greatest lovers always have to die? Can't they live?"

"But look at her Vidhushi. Tell me, how is she going to survive?" he urged, and then started to sob. "How?"

"There's something called a miracle Randhir," Vidhushi told him.

"There's no miracles Vidhushi," Randhir told her. "It's written in our destiny to be apart... it's written in her fate that she will have to die."

"Karma can get transferred Randhir," Vidhushi told him softly. "It won't disappear, but it can go somewhere else."

Suddenly, Randhir remembered the Shaikh's words.

"Remember one thing... wishes cannot be reversed, only reapplied," the Shaikh had said. "Only love can move destiny's heart... but remember, karma will not vanish. It will go somewhere else."

Randhir turned to Vidhushi suddenly, his heart beating faster.

"Did you go to meet the Shaikh?" Randhir asked her and she nodded, tears in her eyes.

"She will be okay Randhir... destiny cannot change, but karma can be transferred to someone else, if somebody else is receptive to it," she told him.

"I want the karma," he then said urgently. "I want all her bad karma."

"Shut up Randhir," Vidhushi replied, "It doesn't work like that! You can't just wish it upon yourself and then expect it to fall on you... it's only with the will of destiny that you can take the burden."

Randhir looked down. Why was he even getting into all of this? He had to face reality, not wishful thinking. Here Sanyukta was dying. That was the reality.

Sanyukta's eyes opened slowly and she saw Vidhushi.

"Vidhushi," she murmured, sounding weak. "Are you okay?"

Vidhushi nodded and Sanyukta tried to sit up, but Randhir held her arm to stop her.

"I feel better Randhir," Sanyukta replied, her voice getting stronger. "I don't know how... but something is changing."

"Sanyukta, you will be okay," Vidhushi told her best friend firmly. "You definitely will."

"So much confidence," Sanyukta said with a light giggle. "You've always been a great friend Vidhushi. I love you very much."

Vidhushi's voice cracked.

"I - I love you too Sanyukta," she replied, and then leaned forward to embrace her best friend in a tight hug - perhaps even their last one.

"I'll go and call the doctor," Randhir said, "They told me to inform them when you woke up."

Sanyukta nodded, and Randhir left, leaving the two girls to spend perhaps their last moments together, forming some final memories.

74
"Vidhushi I don't know what is going to happen, and I know that it's not right for me to ask you of this, but please take care of Randhir for me if I go," Sanyukta told her softly. "I know you love him, so nobody will understand the concern that my heart has for him better than you. Once upon a time even he loved you... and maybe you can revive that love."

Vidhushi looked at Sanyukta with tears in her eyes. It was true that Vidhushi craved to be loved by Randhir again, but what was more true was that she craved to see his face light up everytime he saw his love... whether that love was her, or someone else.

She would never be happy by tying Randhir to her when he loved someone else. She could never ever give him second best. He deserved Sanyukta and only Sanyukta.

"Don't talk like that," Vidhushi told her best friend, holding her more tightly, "Just - just hug me."

Sanyukta knew that Vidhushi was sad, upset that so much was happening, yet it felt like there was so little time.

"You won't cry over me will you?" Sanyukta asked softly.

"Hey, if I died, would you cry over me?" Vidhushi replied, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Of course not," Sanyukta said. "Because I won't be here to see you die."

"One person's destiny can change even in a - a single moment," Vidhushi said, her voice cracking.

"That's not true. Destiny can never change," Sanyukta argued.

"You're right. You have one thing written in your destiny. That is to be with Randhir," Vidhushi said, and then broke the embrace. "Now stop fighting it and just accept it... you feel better don't you?"

Sanyukta nodded and smiled. For some reason, she felt really good in just a few hours... it was almost like her body had healed quickly.

"Sanyukta, take care of yourself, I - I have to go," Vidhushi said, her voice cracking. "M - my home is calling me. B - but I - I -"

She couldn't finish. She burst out crying, because she could feel that this was the last time she was able to talk to Sanyukta like this.

Sanyukta leaned forward and kissed Vidhushi's forehead lovingly.

"Go home," Sanyukta told her best friend softly. "I will be fine... you go home."

"P - promise me Sanyukta that you will fight until the very last breath to have many more," Vidhushi whispered.

"I promise," Sanyukta replied and smiled.

Then Vidhushi forced herself to get up with a sickening feeling in her stomach. She forced herself to put one foot in front of the other and begin walking away from her, because she knew that this was not where she was supposed to be at this moment.

The Shaikh had said tomorrow all accounts would be settled. She had the whole day today, but somehow she already knew that her accounts with Sanyukta were settled... somehow she already knew, that it was time for her to walk away.

As she was walking out, she bumped into Randhir who was bringing a doctor in.

"You're going?" he asked her.

She tried to hold back her tears as she nodded.

"I have to go," she whispered.

"Okay," he told her, for some reason there was a strange feeling inside his chest.

She started to walk away, trying her level best to not turn around and look at Randhir, but he was the one who called her.

"Hey Vidhushi," he called out, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"Yeah?" she asked, turning around to look at him.

"Can I come see you tomorrow?" he asked her. "I mean I want to take you shopping with me... for Sanyukta I mean. I want to get her something nice."

Vidhushi forced herself to smile.

"Yes, sure," she replied.

She had one final account with Randhir to settle, and that would be settled tomorrow.

Randhir then followed the doctor into Sanyukta's room, and after checking Sanyukta's vitals, the doctor looked confused.

"That's the fastest recovery after an operation we've seen," the doctor said, genuinely sounding very confused. "It's a miracle."

Randhir's eyes widened and Sanyukta smiled.

"Is there any chance she won't be okay?" Randhir asked the doctor.

"There is a chance," the doctor said, "So we have to keep her here for the next few days, but for now she's out of danger."

Randhir fell on the bed next to her and engulfed Sanyukta in a tight hug. She buried her face in his chest, happy to finally be able to hold Randhir without fearing that she was getting too close to him.

"Can I stay here with her today?" Randhir asked. "Please?"

"Yes you may, but make sure to go home and take some rest too... you've been here all night," the doctor informed.

"I can't rest more than this," he told the doctor, as he caressed his Sanyukta's cheek, and looked into her eyes. "By being with her, I am taking the most rest possible."

"Very well then, let us know if you see any sudden changes in her health," the doctor said, and then walked out of the room, leaving Randhir and Sanyukta alone.

75
Randhir didn't leave Sanyukta for a moment that day. He kept her in his arms protectively, refusing to let her go... even if God came up to him today and asked him to let go, he wouldn't let her go, because his definition of God was her and only her. His love for her took some time for even he to understand, but now that he knew the extent of how much he loved her, he was never going to let her go, and this time he meant it.

She just rested with her head on his chest as they spoke to each other, laughed with each other, and for the first time ever, there were no secrets between them, no untold truths, no lies... everything was in the open, and they were completely free.

"I love you so much," he was murmuring in her ear, holding her tightly against him, as they were both sitting on her hospital bed. "I can't believe I took so long to understand this."

"You knew you loved me months ago," she told him with a smile. "You're just beginning to realize that your love comes before your assumptions, your thoughts, your ego."

"How do you understand me so well?" he asked her, rubbing her arm.

"Perhaps because I also love you," she told him and then glanced up at him with tears in her eyes. "Only a lover can understand the depth of another's love."

Randhir kissed her forehead and yawned.

"Sleep," she whispered to him.

"No, I don't want to," he responded stubbornly.

"We'll both sleep together," she told him lovingly. "Lie down on the bed, and I'll sleep on top of you. We'll fit."

Randhir nodded and laid down on the bed as Sanyukta climbed on top of him, snuggling into him.

"You know Sanyukta, I just can't believe that this is happening right now... over the last twenty four hours, I've gone through so many different emotions - conflicting ones... it's unbelievable that so much happened," he murmured. "When they say that the world can change even in a single moment, I'm starting to believe them."

"Not just yours Randhir, but so many worlds can change in a single moment," she whispered with a happy sigh. "I... I'm just feeling bad thinking about Vidhushi."

"Why?" he asked her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"She loves you Randhir, but she didn't realize it when you loved her... only when you moved on did she understand how deeply she felt about you," Sanyukta explained. "It's sad actually... imagine, she could have had a nice life with you."

"She doesn't love me," Randhir denied flatly, "I don't know where you're getting that idea from."

"Trust me Randhir, she does. Look into her eyes, even you'll see how much she loves you," Sanyukta murmured.

"I don't want to," he responded. "I moved on from her long ago, now you're the only one who exists in my heart."

"Come on Randhir," Sanyukta urged. "I'm not saying it like that. I just mean that she perhaps even loves you as much as I do. So please be nice to her... that's all."

"Impossible," he huffed. "She can't love me as much as you do... nobody can love me as much as you. You almost died for me Sanyukta. You stayed away from me for my sake... it must have been painful for you, but you even lost our child for my sake. How much deeper can love go?"

Sanyukta just kissed his chest and smiled softly.

"I don't know Randhir, but it isn't right to judge someone's love like that without knowing to what extent it goes right? Even you judged my love," she explained. "It's okay... I'm sure everyone gets their test of love... she will get her test too."

"Yeah, for someone else," Randhir replied, still in denial.

"Okay forget all that and kiss me," she said, glancing up at him.

Randhir smiled as she pushed her body up his. He tucked her hair behind her ear, as he lifted his head off the bed to capture her lips in a meaningful kiss. Sanyukta kissed him back just as meaningfully, just as passionately, with the same amount of love between them.

For the first time, there were no insecurities between their lips... for the first time ever, Sanyukta felt in his kiss, that he put her first above everything else in this world... above his thoughts, above his doubts, above himself.

And for the first time, Randhir felt truly content... and he knew that this one moment of bliss that he felt with Sanyukta was enough to last him his whole lifetime. He didn't know what tomorrow held, but this one smile that she brought to his lips was worth more than any amount of tears that the universe could conspire to bring to his eyes.