♪♪ Just 'cos I predicted

This doesn't it make it any easier to live with

And what's the point of knowing it

If you can't change it. ♪♪

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ[To be human] - [Sia]

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In the frightful atmosphere of the pale white-painted hospital room, the only sound that heard was the beeping sound of the ECG and the tapping sound of Kian's feet on the white-tiled floor as he paced around with his muscles rigid and his fist clenched.

The prominent bright white light that shone in the room caused him a raging headache and his hand flew to his head hoping to ease it only to touch the bandage that wrapped around it. He winced at the slight pain he felt.

Kian groaned and dropped his hands. The pungent smell of antiseptic that had once brought a sense of calm to him, sent a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Stop pacing!" Petra's voice rang out into his train of thoughts.

Kian abruptly stopped pacing and turned to her direction. His eyes locked onto the petite figure of Esmé that lay down on the hospital bed unconscious beside where Petra sat, her rigid hands holding onto Esmé's hands.

"It's not h... helping, o... kay? So please stop it." Her voice trembled like the rest of her body had done most of the time the ambulance had brought both of them to the hospital. She took a deep breath in to calm herself down. "You're a patient yourself, Kian. So sit down."

He shook his stiff neck. Sitting down and being calm at that moment was not an option for him. "I..."

A groan from Esmé's direction snapped both their attention to her. Esmé stirred and Kian moved closer to the bed on instinct as she opened her eyes to take in the room.

"Esmé?" Petra called out and drew Esmé's attention to her direction. Petra's breath hitched as Esmé's eyes landed on her before they registered recognition. Petra moved to help her sit up carefully.

Esmé squinted at Petra and the guarded eyes that watched her. "Petra?" she said in a soft voice.

Petra chuckled shakingly and bobbed her head up and down in relief. The tears she had held onto in terror rolled down her eyes. "Yes. It's me."

Kian released a jittery breath he hadn't realized he was holding at the recognition. He wasted no time to leave the room to get a doctor since he was a patient himself.

Esmé's hand moved to her head at a slight ache she felt. Petra stopped her hand mid-air with a gentle smile.

"Take it easy. You're fine."

"Miss Esmé?" A fierce male voice called out to her.

Esmé turned her head to the opposite direction of Petra to find out who had called her. She recognised his plum body build along with his full white beard and his black hair with minor grey strokes, in the place of his suit was a long white doctor's coat.

"Chairman Hudgens?" she said as she felt Petra's relaxed posture change by her side.

Hudgens turned his thin lips up to give her a small comforting smile that stood in contrast to his stoic facial expression. "Yeah, I know it might seem weird to have me as your doctor, but since Kian is also a patient, I had to step in," he explained, corking his head to the side where Kian stood.

Esmé's eyes sought Kian. He stood at the end of the bed she lay with his body at a tensed posture and his brows drawn together in worry as they stared at her. Her chest tightened in guilt at the sight of him with the bandage wrapped around his head.

Movement by her left side dragged her attention away from Kian's unnerving, concerned look. She looked to Hudgens, who gave her a calm nod and did a quick check-up.

"How do you feel?" he asked in between his check-up with his stethoscope.

"I've been better," Esmé replied with a light humour that died as quickly as it came up.

Hudgens gave her a tight smile and nodded. "And worse. But I need to understand what happened," he said and picked up a file that lay on the table by her bed. "Kian mentioned that you just suddenly tuned out."

Esmé's hands trembled as she remembered what happened. Her forehead creased and the sound of the ECG picked up.

"Remember, the point is not to cause further pain," Petra chirped in from the side.

Esmé squinted as she recalled what happened. "I heard a horn behind me just as a car came from the front with the headlights on. Suddenly, an image of a truck with its full headlights on coming in our direction with ample speed replaced it."

"Hmm..." Hudgens turned to Kian, whose facial expression was down-turned at Esmé's revelation in confusion before he turned back to Esmé. "So you saw a truck heading your way and yet you increased your acceleration towards it, do you know why?"

"No." Esmé shook her head. "It's not so clear what happened, but I remember my entire body going still just at the sight of the oncoming truck. I briefly remember hearing my name, but it felt like it pulled me into something I couldn't get out of." She turned briefly to Kian. He had kept an uncomfortable silence ever since, but she noticed that his mind was far from silent.

She felt a light squeeze on her hand in support and looked at Petra with a relieved smile in response to her comfort.

"Was this the first time?" Hudgens asked and opened up the file he had picked up that held pictures of her brain scan.

She had begun to shake her head in response to the question but stopped as the soothing pats she felt in her hand seized and Petra's palm turned rigid. Her chest tingled in dread at the recollection that she hadn't informed them about it before.

"No?" Kian growled out while his expression blanched in disbelief and Esmé winced at the harsh tone of his voice.

Hudgens whirled a stern look to Kian that had him bite back whatever statement he wanted to say next. Hudgens' look said it all. 'Interfere again and you won't like the consequences.'

"It's the first time it's stayed this long," Esmé explained with a sense of urgency. Her eyes darted to Kian and Petra trying to get her point across to them but their rigid stance didn't change.

Hudgens nodded. "Your scans show a certain improvement, so your memory loss seems more psychological now. We'll do a couple more scans to be on the safe side. From what you've told me, it's triggered by something. You need a trigger for the rest of your memory, but you need to be careful." He gave her certain instructions to follow and things to stay away from before he closed the file in his hand. He gave her a curt nod and turned to leave, stopping by Kian's side.

Hudgens tapped him on the shoulder a little harder than normal. "You should get some rest, Kian," he said before he turned and left.

A disturbing silence followed the closing of the room door. Petra's hold on her hand had slackened and Esmé's heart sank, dreading the next sentence one of them would say.

The wheels spun in Kian's head. She was regaining her memory, fragments of them maybe, but her memory none the less and he knew nothing about it. He turned to Petra and saw the puzzled look on her face that told him he wasn't the only one.

"Since when?" he asked with a steady low fierce tone that broke the silence.

Esmé snapped her concentration to Kian. Her eyes flashed wide at the dangerous tone of his voice. She had seen a livid Kian before, but something about the way he spoke tore her heart into a million more pieces and she figured it was just the beginning.

"I asked you a question, Esmé. Since when did you have these flashes?"

"Kian." Petra sent him a warning look, but he ignored it. He directed his focus to Esmé.

Esmé took a deep breath and felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, knowing her answer to his question would not make him any less angry. "Since the day I moved into your house when Archie bounced on my leg." Her voice dropped with a tint of shame. It wasn't like she intentionally kept this a secret from them, she just wasn't sure.

Petra's head whipped in her direction with wide-eyed disbelief, and Kian's fist tightened even further at the situation of things.

He remembered how she spaced out on the faithful day. Every single act of the scene scared into his brain along with his conversation with her when he asked her if she was okay. Her reply that was nothing but a lie fueled him with an anger that shook his entire being. "All this bloody time? And you couldn't mention it even once."

Esmé shook her head in haste as colour drained from Petra's face. She was hurt, and Esmé's heart broke at the sight. "I didn't know there were my memories! When it first happened, I thought I was just projecting. The flash of an image I perceived was exactly what I saw when it went! A hand next to mine by Archie's name tag." she explained, but it did nothing to erase the look on both their faces.

"But you must have figured that out at some point, didn't you? You must have known they were fragments of your memory and you failed to mention that to us."

Esmé opened her mouth to reply, but she closed it after as she couldn't find an excuse that could make them see things from her point of view. She searched through her mind for anything she could say to make them understand.

Her lack of response fired Kian's anger as his throat felt dry and his mouth bitter. His blood boiled while he stared at her.

He couldn't believe that after he had successfully stayed away from people like her for an entire year, he fell into that trap one more time. Got close to someone just to be used for her benefits. All his distance, all his knowing it would happen, and yet it didn't prevent the sinking feeling he felt.

"So that was the plan all along, wasn't it? Use them to your advantage, get your memories back and then get out of their lives. Swift and easy." He narrowed his eyes at Esmé.

Esmé's eyes bulged out at the absurd conclusion while Petra whipped her head to glare at him.

"Do not project experiences into new ones, j... just for your sake, Kian!" Her voice trembled as she spoke.

Kian scoffed and shook his head at Petra. "No, I will not let you turn me into the bad guy when you're thinking all the same things I'm saying."

Petra flinched at the jab and gave him no fast response, which was all Kian needed.

Esmé choked a sob at Petra, thinking about her that way. She shook her head to retract the statement and met Kian's fierce gaze with a steady one. "No, I can never think of using you guys to get my memory back after all you've done for someone you didn't even know. Yes, I withheld them from you, but that was because it was something I wasn't sure about. They came in brief flashes that had me questioning the level of my imagination. It was something I wanted to figure out on my own and not burden you guys any more than I'm already doing."

Petra exhaled and turned to Esmé. "We would never have thought of your recovery as a burden. I thought you knew us better than that." Her tone was flat and dry and it increased the tightened feeling in Esmé's chest at causing that.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to withhold information from you. I..."

Kian scoffed and said, "This was more than just lying to your friends. You kept valid information from us as your doctor and nurse. You turned us into fools, rendered us incompetent because we didn't have the details and facts. Thus, you're currently lying in a hospital bed right now and not working! I hope you're at least happy now, your memories are coming back." He sent her guarded look before he turned and left the room.

Esmé saw the brief look of anger in his eyes he didn't direct at her, but at himself. She closed her eyes briefly at the thought of what keeping silent had caused.

She opened her eyes and turned to Petra, whose eyes watched the door. "Petra..."

Petra cleared her throat and sniffed. "I... I'm going to check on him. You need to rest. I'll... I'll be back." She turned briefly to Esmé, not showing her full face, and she hurried out, but not before Esmé noticed the tears that flowed down her cheeks.

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Oh dear 😥

Howdy guys

Sorry for the late chapter. Being productive in these festive season seems to be becoming such a burden but fear not, I think I have found a solution to the main reason of my unproductiveness which means there should definitely be an update by Friday. Fingers crossed. 🤞And who knows maybe a Christmas Special. 😄

With that being said, how was the chapter and I hope it was worth the wait. Tell me how you felt and if you think the whole argument was pointless or right on point, right here 👉💭

I wish you all a Merry Christmas in advance. 🎄

Before you go, how about you tell me what exactly you look forward to during the Christmas festive season?

I look forward to the food. There's just always a different taste to our Christmas foods. It'd have been the gifts but that tradition died when I started growing up. 😂

Till next time! 💕