♪♪We're going down and you can see it too

We're going down

And you know that we're doomed, my dear

We're slow dancing in a burning room ♪♪

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ [Slow dancing in a burning room] - [John Mayers]

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The brightly lit hospital room was the first thing that greeted her when she opened her eyes. She shut it right back as questions swirled in her head.

Who am I? Ivana Ivaneć.

Esmé slumped, the tension easing from her body. She remembered who she was. It almost seemed like a dream.

Congratulations, Miss Ivaneć.

I'm so happy for you.

These were the little reminders she held on to, reminding herself that it wasn't a dream. But with the relief came questions she needed answers to and ones she wouldn't get if she continued resting. It's been five years too long.

She groaned as she tried to sit up, opening her eyes. Her head still ached from the hit to the floor.

Kian turned to her at the groan and hurried to help her.

"Thank you," she said once he took a step back.

He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. He turned around back to the table to get the tray of food that he was sorting out there. Walking back to her, he asked, "How do you feel?"

"A lot better now," she replied with a smile, collecting the tray from him.

Kian sat by her side, waiting for her to eat something.

The surrounding atmosphere felt strained like they were both walking on eggshells. One not knowing what to say to each other.

Esmé was sure some of the strain from Kian's end had to do with the mention of Luka, but from her end, she wasn't entirely sure what it was about. With her memories back, she felt different. Things that should have been five years too old were not anything like that. The freedom she carried as Esmé was one she lacked as Ivana. This was something else she figured was the reason for Kian's restriction.

However conflicted she felt about who exactly she was, Esmé or Ivana, she knew she didn't want a strain between them.

"Have you had anything to eat?" she asked him.

Kian blinked, surprised at the question. "Yes," he replied with a smile in place. No matter how he felt about things, she had regained her memory and it was a joyous occasion for them, apart or together.

Esmé arched an eyebrow up, and he chuckled.

"I have, honestly. Petra made sure of that."

That was a good enough answer for her. She ate her food, and they both sat there in silence. It wasn't the first time she'd had Kian watch her eat, but it felt different. Questions popped into her mind. Was he checking to see if she was a different person? Was he waiting for her to dissect the food as she did before?

"Still your thoughts, Es-," he paused. "Ivana. They are running too wild."

Esmé chuckled at his statement. The mishap in the name wasn't something she missed. As much as she wanted to let him know she could always still be Esmé to him, she couldn't deny the skip of her heartbeat at him saying her real name.

Once she finished eating. Kian took the empty dishes from her and stacked it back into the bag he had brought them in. He resumed his position on the chair, ready for the question-and-answer session he was sure they would embark on.

"What do you want to know?" he asked her the moment he sat down.

Esmé sighed, thinking through what she remembered and the missing pieces. "How did I get here?" she asked first. "I know an ambulance could have brought me here, but I don't get how my parents wouldn't have searched for me in these five years. That's the one thing that doesn't add up. We weren't staying too far from here, that it would seem like they couldn't trace me. Is there something when I was brought to the hospital when I was brought in?"

Kian sighed, already expecting that question. "They didn't search for you because..." he paused. He knew he had to tell her, but he still wanted to hold it to prevent the heartache he knew was coming. "They taught you were dead."

Her brain stuttered for a moment as a tight feeling expanded in her chest. Every part of her froze up, his words taking their precious time to sink in. "D- dead? What do you mean, dead? Why did they think I was dead?"

"Easy now," Kian said with a cautioned pointed gaze. "There's a lot that you want answers to, I know, but I will not give them to you if I'm uncertain you can handle it."

Tremors swept through her at his words, but she wanted those answers, so she took in deep breaths to calm herself.

Dead? How?

"I can take it." She looked at Kian when she was calmer.

He gave a pointed look and an arched eyebrow.

"I promise. The moment I act otherwise, you can stop answering me."

"I'll take your word for it, then." He settled back into his chair, watching her with a hooded gaze before he continued. "Apparently they heard the news of your accident on the news where they said there was no survivor."

Her brows dented further in confusion. "But I- I'm here. They brought me to the hospital."

"Yes," Kian said, taking each word carefully. He didn't want to confuse her the more since things were just making sense to him too and he also didn't want her to panic. "You were brought here under a different circumstance. The explosion that happened was a massive one and there was no sign that anyone crawled out of the car like you mentioned you did before the explosion happened, right?"

Esmé nodded.

"Because there was no sign of anyone coming out of the car as they saw the damages to be beyond repair. They ruled Ivana Ivaneć as dead."

She breathed out loud in disbelief, shutting her eyes to keep the tears pooling there in place. Just imagining the amount of pain her parents went through, thinking their daughter was dead, shattered her heart into a million pieces. But then something struck her and she turned to Kian, her gaze held the question that was very prominent in her eyes.

Kian saw the question before she voiced it out. That was the part of it he didn't want to indulge in, and she could sense his hesitance.

"How do you know all this? Do you guys- do you know me?" Her voice shook with the question. She wasn't sure what a yes to the question would mean and what a no one could mean.

"No," he replied truthfully. "We had no idea who you were before or NY member of your family, not personally, but... your family came over the same night you did. Taron worked with your father before and so when he saw the news, he called Hudgens to make sure they got the perfect care."

Esmé thought back to her first meeting with Taron and the way he looked at her. He must have seen a fraction of the semblance of her father in her, but dismissed it. But there was something still off about what she was hearing.

"Why did they need the perfect care?" Even as she asked, she couldn't stop the way her heart skipped at what the answer would be.

"Your father..."

No!

Kian moved closer to her, grabbing hold of her hand instantly to grab her attention before she could fall into any frenzy. "He's alive, okay?! He's alive. He had a mild stroke when he got the news and they rushed him to this hospital. That's all. He's alive."

He paused as a burst of shaky laughter escaped her lips. She arched her head backwards, letting the tears fall. A stroke was no good, but that he was still alive brought all the versions of relief she didn't know she could experience.

Watching her tear up at that news, he knew he couldn't tell her the other one he knew, not right then. Not when he remembered how the news shattered her sister and he was sure the one he withheld would do the same to her. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if something worse happened to her father.

"It could have been worse," she whispered, her head still trained backwards.

"That doesn't make it any easier."

Esmé looked up at him with a smile of appreciation and then finally felt the circles he was drawing on her hands to comfort her. Her eyes turned to the movement, and it instantly ceased.

Kian redrew his hand upon her gaze, but she wrapped her hands around his tightly, keeping it in place. They shared a brief smile but said nothing.

"How would they even feel when they see me? They thought I was dead for five good years."

"Delighted. Happy beyond measures." 

She threw her head back, her grip on his hand increasing the more. Kian tapped her hand gently with his other hand. "No matter what, I'm here for you, okay?"

She nodded, still lost in her thoughts.

His heart clenched watching her state. He knew it was expected, but it didn't stop how he didn't want that for her. He cleared his throat and raised the hand that wasn't in hers. "Excuse me, ma'am?"

Esmé raised her head to him with her forehead creased.

He carried on. "I don't think we've properly introduced ourselves to each other."

She blinked continuously, trying to understand what he was getting at, but otherwise let him continue. Despite not knowing what he was up to, she couldn't stop the slow smile building on her lips.

"I am Dr Kian Ambrose Lincoln but you don't have to call me Dr Lincoln. You can call me Kian if you wish."

She smiled, amused. At her lack of reply, Kian frowned.

"You will not leave me hanging, perhaps."

"Really?" she asked, not thinking he was serious.

He nudged his outstretched hand forward again, which made her laugh, her heart feeling so much lighter. She took his hand. "It's time to meet you, Kian. I'm Ivana Antonija Ivaneć."

"Permit me to be unoriginal but that is a beautiful name for a beautiful lady like yourself."

Esmé burst out laughing, shaking her head at him, and Kian knew for the first time since she got her memories back that the smile on his face showed just how relieved he was to hear her laugh. Every other way they went on from there, he was determined to at least see a smile on her face if he could help it, even if that meant reuniting her with her family and no hope for them.

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😊😊

They thought she was dead? Now, who saw that coming? But I mean incompetence sometimes can be a bitch. I hope some things are finally making so much sense.

What do you think about the chapter? Does it make sense for them to walk on eggshells? I mean there's ex/boyfriend she had before she lost her memory and now her recent boyfriend from a time she didn't remember anything. What can be more complicated than that?

That aside, I really hope to hear your thoughts right here! 💭👉🏽

Till next time! 💕