♪♪ When you can't wait any longer

But there's no end in sight

When you need to find the strength

It's your faith that makes you stronger

The only way we get there is one step at a time. ♪♪

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ[One step at a time] - [Jordin Sparks]  

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Drowning one's sorrow with alcohol was what Kian referred to as a hare-brained idea since the sorrows swam back the next day with a bucket load of headache.

Yet, there he was, seated on a leather bar stool across the neat row of drinks behind the bartender with shot glasses of vodka lined up in front of him. The brassy load of craic conversations blared by his side as they competed with the rock music that blasted through the overhead speakers.

He downed his fourth glass of vodka, thumping the glass onto the top of the bar. His head swirled the image of scenes from the hospital and his reaction to it. Kian shook his head vigorously to ward off the images.

"Blast it!" he grumbled as he took hold of another glass. He was taking the drink to not think of the whole thing, and yet that was the one thing that was plaguing his mind.

"What the dickens! Kian Lincoln drowning his sorrows away in a bar? Who would have thought?" A peal of throaty laughter resounded right behind Kian.

Kian groaned and his fist tightened while he turned to face Ronnie, who wriggled his eyebrows in amusement at the sight in front of him.

Kian narrowed his eyes at him and scrunched up his face. He turned back to his drinks and said, "Bug off, Ronnie."

"You've bruised me, mate." Ronnie tapped his chest to buttress his point before he squeezed himself into an available seat next to Kian, calling the attention of the bartender to order his own drink. He downed half the cup of mild ale in one go that gained Kian's attention.

Kian squinted at Ronnie with a careful look of displease at his presence. "What sorrow are you pretending to drown then?" he asked.

"I lost the Kshatriya case and now a 5-year-old child is going to have to go through the unbearable system called foster care thanks to my incompetence," Ronnie grumbled.

Kian turned fully to face Ronnie and noticed the vacant eyes he had previously hidden behind the earlier grin along with his prominent hunched shoulders. Kian sighed, remembering how much the case meant to him.

"What happened?" His tone was calmer.

"My client lied to me, and then the defendant found evidence. You know the rest. I stood in court looking like a bloody fool. So much for being the most skilled at the job."

"Hey! I'm sure you did your best despite the fallback and you're going to make sure Ananya gets taken into the most suitable home."

"Yeah, well. It does not make the dent on my reputation any less of a dent."

Kian nodded and sighed. He rose his glass to Ronnie. "Well, here's drowning our sorrows!" Ronnie clicked his glass against Kian's shot glass and drank a bit out of it.

Kian took his time to order another set of vodka shots after drinking the last one. After his order arrived and he grabbed hold of the first drink, he felt the intense gaze of Ronnie on him and groaned, dropping his glass. He turned to narrow his eyes at Ronnie.

"I thought you said you came here to drown your sorrows, not to focus on mine."

Ronnie's lips raised a tad bit, and he shrugged. "It's one reason, yeah, but I also thought it'd be a good time to have a good old chinwag with my best bud."

Kian scoffed and shifted his stool away from Ronnie, squinting at the squeak made from the chair at the action. "Well, this best mate isn't interested in chatting up or a chin wag. Besides, how'd you even know I was here? Petra told you?"

"Esmé actually," Ronnie replied softly and gauged the expression on Kian's face.

Kian scoffed at the mention of her name and wondered why she bothered to call Ronnie to come to check on him like she cared.

"Don't do that." Ronnie shook his head at the thoughts he knew were plaguing his best friend's mind.

"Why? Did she openly tell you what she did?" he asked with a challenging look.

"Yes, she did. Said it all upfront, no hiding anymore. I told her how I felt about it, she apologized, we moved on."

"Great for you, huh?" Kian scoffed and then sighed. "Listen, man, I don't want to talk about this, okay? It's the major reason I'm here right now. So drop it."

Ronnie nodded his head in understanding. "I get it. You don't need to talk, you can just listen to me state my observations."

Kian spat a series of curses underneath his breath, recognizing Ronnie's tactic for what it was. At the moment, he totally preferred listening to the craic going on around him along with the music he didn't particularly like than to Ronnie.

"You're not angry with Esmé because she hid that little piece of information from you."

Kian raised an eyebrow at Ronnie. "Really? That's your observation? Sorry to disappoint you but I'm bloody pissed she failed to mention that little piece of information. Because that was a report I should have known as her doctor, and I didn't. You should have seen Hudgens face at her revelation. What an incompetent doctor."

Ronnie did a double-take to confirm the serious look on Kian's face. "You really believe that? Man, Hudgens loves you like no other."

Kian shook his head and said, "It doesn't make it right." Before he took another swing of his drink. He shut his eyes as the alcohol was taking full effect of his body and he was already seeing double.

"Okay, so maybe you're angry with her about it. I would definitely be, but I'm also pretty sure you told her she was using you to get what she wanted." Kian stiffened at his statement and Ronnie chuckled. "Damn, you compared her to Kristin, didn't you?"

Kian tasted bile in his mouth at the mention of that name. He swung up another drink and slammed the glass onto the tabletop. "It has absolutely nothing to do with Kristin." The name flowed from his mouth like dirt.

"Well, of course, it doesn't. You definitely didn't accuse her of using you because you remembered that that's exactly what Kristin did and you were more pissed with yourself because you made a vow not to fall prey to pretty patients who use their doctors and yet...you fell prey to that once again."

"That's a load of codswallop, Ronald Wilson."

Ronnie's brows lit up. "Is it?" he asked and nudged his head to Kian's hand. "Then why is the hold on your glass tighter. I think I remember that being something you do when you're trying to suppress your anger to hide a certain truth."

"Piss off, man!" Kian exclaimed, flaring his hand to the side to push Ronnie away but failing and attracting a couple of attention from people around him.

Ronnie laughed at Kian's failed attempt to hit him. He turned to finish the last of his drink, not ordering another glass so he could stay sane and get them both home safely. "I guess I'm close to the truth then," he said after a brief let Kian calm down a bit.

Kian groaned as his body shook with anger at the truth Ronnie had disclosed that he was avoiding. He sighed, grumbling. "What the bloody hell is wrong with me and patients who want to get something out of me?"

Ronnie shrugged and settled further into his seat. "I've got no idea, mate." Kian groaned further. He was already feeling the impending doom of the headache coming his way.

"There's something different about this patient, though. Definitely distinctive from the last." Ronnie scrunched up his face at his last statement.

Kian's head felt lightweight, but he still locked his mind on the woman with raven black curly hair, her jewel-like brown eyes that looked a lot like coffee beans, the dimple in her cheeks that formed when she lifted her pink lush lips. He moved his head to ward off the image at the reminder of the days' event. "Maybe..."

"I sense a but coming."

Kian turned to Ronnie with glazed eyes that showed his main inner battle.

"Come on, man!" Ronnie exclaimed in disbelief at what was holding him back. "This is life. It's all about taking bloody risks. It's how it is, some people come and some people go. You cannot get to live your life to the fullest is you don't take risks."

"Damn, how drunk are you, man? You sound so logical."

"I just lost a case."

"The perfect excuse."

They both chuckled and settle into their chair, sighing. They stayed silent for a while, letting the noise from around them whirl around them. A silent question lay unanswered between them.

"I don't know," Kian said, breaking off the silence. "Living life to the fullest has never been a goal of mine, I've been content with what I have. I also don't want to have that stagnant life because I don't take risks, but this whole thing seems like a risk I'm not fully ready to invest in. I'll still try to be her friendly host, but that's about it." 

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😪

Ho! Ho!! Ho!!! Merry Christmas guys! 🎅🏽🎄❄

I hope you enjoyed this chapter on this beautiful day. You can also go ahead to tell me what you thought about it. 💭

Q: How did you spend your Christmas, guys? 

I spent mine watching Christmas movies with my mom. 

Merry Christmas again guys and a prosperous new year ahead! 🎆

Till next time! 💕