'How terrible it is to love something death can touch'

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The Black Lake was massive, to say the least, and as the water rippled in the light wind coming in, it looked more ominous than ever. Dumbledore, after Addie had told him all she knew, had begun searching for the mansion in his own time. They had no idea how he'd be able to find it, or what method he'd used to search, because not only did the lake stretch on for what felt like forever, but it was incredibly deep.

In some ways, Dumbledore hoped not to find it. The countless failed searches that went on for years for missing mothers and children, the disappearance of his own goddaughter...everything Voldemort put Maya through, everything he made Adeline be, ripping apart a happy, beautiful family the way he did—all of this on Hogwarts grounds, right beneath his nose?

It would break his heart to find it—knowing he could have stopped it. Knowing that his goddaughter was beneath these rippling waters for years and he had no idea. Knowing that he could have saved her, and let her grow up in the castle, and give her the life she deserves. Maybe she and Harry would have met still—but in a classroom, or a hallway, or the train. Maybe they would have fallen in love the way they had now. Maybe they'd have more time with each other. He didn't want to find it. He didn't want to think of what could have been.

But he found it.

It wasn't a mansion, exactly, though definitely larger than most houses, and almost impossible to see at the bottom and to the side of the Black Lake. His eyes would have easily passed over it had he not been looking for it.

So, there they were now; Harry, Adeline and Dumbledore standing on the wooden deck where the Second Triwizard Task had been held those years ago, preparing to search the mansion for any Horcruxes.

Before now, Harry could only vaguely recall the details of that day—when he first saw Addie floating in the murky water; a simple, ethereal glimpse of light in the darkness. But now that they were back here, on the very deck he'd pulled her onto, he remembered the feeling of her limp weight in his arms, how cold she was, the way her wet hair stuck to her neck and face and the way the white fabric of her dress dripped onto the wooden deck. The way Dumbledore's face turned grave from a couple of metres away. The vivid confusion bubbling around him as people giving out towels realised that this girl was not a student.

Now, the wind ruffled his hair the way it did back then, and Harry glanced at Addie, grabbing her hand as she stared at the water. They were standing behind Dumbledore, who was peering out at the lake, his wand out and moving in circular motions, his other arm extended, though it wasn't clear yet what he was doing.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Harry asked her, watching as she took a shaky breath. Addie nodded eventually and shifted her gaze to him.

"Yeah," she squeezed his hand a little. Adeline wanted to see it; wanted to go there, as curiosity clawed at her insides, despite the fatigue weighing down her eyes. She nodded again. "I'm sure."

At that moment, Dumbledore lowered his wand and turned around to the two. He held out his elbow. "Now, Harry here has apparated before, but you, Adeline, have not."

She looked between the two. "Is that a bad thing?"

"On the contrary!" Dumbledore smiled a little. "There is a first time for everything. Just take my elbow—both of you—and hold on tight," he said, and they did.

Confused about how holding Dumbledore's arm would take them to the mansion below the lake, Addie did not have to wait long to find out, because suddenly everything around her turned blurry and incomprehensible. It felt like she was being forced through a tight space—but as soon as she felt it, she didn't, and her feet were back on solid ground; suddenly not on the dock anymore.

Harry, expecting the disorientation that came with apparating, held his ground, and caught Addie's elbow as she stumbled into him. Looking down to her, he saw her eyes widen—though not from apparating.

They were in the middle of a large room, with cracking, faded vintage wallpaper and ornate, deteriorating architecture. Addie's breath hitched as she looked around the familiar place that had been so buried in the back of her mind; in the memories she repressed. Though the Mansion looked completely different—exposed to the lake water for years now—it felt the same. It had the same eery silence, after all, and the same deep green lighting that wavered on the walls.

The lake water stayed outside the house, stopped by an invisible force—the work of Dumbledore's magic—and as Addie took a step forward, her back to the other two, the floor was damp, and her shoe crunched as it met a piece of glass.

Looking down, her eyes met a fallen chandelier—the same one that had hung so tall and proud on the ceiling all those years ago. At night, she used to sneak out of her room and admire it from the top of the staircase. It was like her version of the stars against the night sky as its alluring lights glowed against the dark roof.

Now it lay shattered on the floor. Lifeless and broken.

She pressed her lips together, trying not to cry. Something ached inside her as she eyed the debris surrounding the chandelier's skeleton. Behind her, Adeline heard more crunches of glass—it was all over the floor, she realised—as Dumbledore wandered into other rooms, as their intent of being down there in the first place was to look for any possible Horcruxes. But now, Addie felt like she couldn't move. And she didn't want to cry, because it felt like she was crying all the time, but her eyes became watery just seeing this place.

Harry's arm brushed against hers as he came to her side, and this simple touch of his sleeve against hers brought her a sense of comfort; knowing he was next to her, in reach—seemingly sensing the sadness that radiated from her. She moved her hand to his, entwining their fingers, and her skin warmed as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles absently. With his familiar palm against hers and the feeling of her heart locket on the skin beneath her sweater, she took a little breath and continued forward, blinking back the tears.

The rooms on the bottom floor were empty—not exactly surprising, as many things had floated out of the house by now—aside from the occasional decaying piece of heavy furniture. Dumbledore stayed downstairs, inspecting cabinets and places where things may be hidden, and Harry followed Addie upstairs, who had a gut-wrenching sense of déjà vu with every step she took: of the time she fell down the steps when she was young—the scrapes on her knee, the bruise on her chin—of the times she'd climb up them on all fours like any little kid would do, of the times she'd peer through the posts on the rail, trying to hear what that scary voice from the other room was telling her mother, using all these big words she didn't understand, of the time she ran up them for last time as water rushed down and crashed against her legs and she clung to the handrail desperately.

Now, she was older, and it felt incredibly strange to have Harry in this space; to have her past and present life merge in a weird nostalgia. He trailed after her as her hand glided up the rough handrail. She didn't know whether to feel sad that she was no longer so carefree, so blissfully unaware of everything, or happy that things had changed; that, even if she is dying, at least she's no longer trapped in here like before; that she'll never see her mother's angry face again; that a boy is holding her hand right now and he loves her.

Because even when she was blissfully unaware as a child, she never knew love. She never felt it, nor had she ever been at the receiving end of it long enough to remember. Adeline never thought she could be loved to the extent that Harry loved her—so sometimes, it did surprise her when he'd say those three words, and it warmed her heart whenever he would—and that she didn't even need him to say 'I love you' to know that he did.

She knew he loved her when he'd hold her close as he slept, his warm arms around her; protective and affectionate all at once. And then when they woke in the morning, he'd hold her closer, not wanting her to leave, and would whisper in her ear to stay a little longer in that endearing morning voice of his.

She knew he loved her when he'd put a hand on her leg or move a strand of hair from her eyes; when he'd kiss the top of her head or give her his sweaters to wear.

She knew he loved her when his soft lips would meet hers—and as the kiss deepened, when he'd sigh a little and run his fingers through her hair, or he'd gently lift her chin, or his hand would cup her jaw gently, and his other hand would find her waist or brush over her hip—anything to draw her closer.

She knew he loved her when he'd nuzzle his face in the crook of her neck to make her laugh, or when he'd draw a little heart on the side of her parchment in class, or carry her books around the library as she scanned the shelves, or that sometimes he'd wear her hair ties on his wrist.

She knew he loved her when he'd meet her every morning in the common room to tie her tie for her. By now, Adeline knew how to tie it herself—and maybe he knew that too, though neither said anything.

She knew he loved her because in his dorm, on his bedside table, there was a framed moving photo of her smiling at the camera next to the photograph of his parents.

She knew he loved her when he'd put an arm around her as she curled into his side on the couch in the common room as curfew neared and the fire flickered, or when he'd hold her hand the way he was now.

They reached the open doorway of her mother's bedroom.

"This is where I swam out," Adeline pointed at a rectangle hole in the wall of where the window used to be, and he eyed her face as she looked around. "The water was just everywhere, but I got out," her voice trembled a little as she spoke, and he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"You got out," Harry nodded, and she looked up at him. The deep green glow of the sunlight coming through the water wavered on his face. He smiled. "I'm glad you did."

Eventually, the two went back downstairs, meeting back up with Dumbledore, who told them there were no Horcruxes down there. He hadn't really expected to find any down there, however, as this seemed more like a disposable location: a temporary hideout. With grief in his eye, the headmaster put a hand on Adeline's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I didn't do more, Adeline," he said; saddened not by the lack of a Horcrux, but what he could have prevented those years ago. Dumbledore had told her about him being her godfather right after the two teens had come to him about the mansion under the Black Lake—and to say it was a surprise would be an understatement—but a welcome surprise.

He told Addie about her mother, how she used to be, but for Adeline, it seemed hard to pinpoint the woman she knew with the one he described. Neither party knew what turned her from such a wonderful person to a cruel, cold-hearted individual, but that would be for later discussions.

Adeline was just happy to know that she, at least, had a little bit of family left— even if he were not blood-related.

And although it felt painful revisiting the mansion, Adeline felt better now; knowing that the day the mansion flooded, a day she perceived as so scary and anxiety-inducing, was exactly what allowed her to break free of her mother's cruelty and into a world of love.

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The start of June,

One month left.

Weeks passed, and the weather was turning warmer—but she was turning colder.

Every day Adeline was feeling worse and worse. She tried masking it, of course; knowing how anxious the rest of the group was as they neared July. But it had come to the point where hiding how awful she felt through brushing off their concerns and ignoring the symptoms she was experiencing seemed impossible as June finally started.

That morning, she felt too nauseous at breakfast to eat, though insisted she just wasn't hungry so as to not worry the others. Harry didn't seem to believe her the way the others did, though decided not to press, which she was thankful for.

The shaking first started in Potions class, when Slughorn was showing them the correct method for adding beetle legs to the cauldron at the front of the classroom. The class was standing around the cauldron in a group, of which Harry and Addie were at the back of. Despite the sun being out and warm light filtering in through the windows, and many students only in their white shirts, Addie felt like it was the middle of winter—and suddenly she started shivering uncontrollably.

"What's wrong?" Harry whispered from beside her, feeling her arm shake from where it touched his. She met his concerned gaze.

"Cold..." Addie managed to respond, lightheaded, rubbing her palms against each other. He put his warm hands over hers, and his eyes widened a little—they were freezing, even when it was a sunny day and the classroom was muggy. Addie was usually cold these days, but never this cold. "And my head hurts."

"Do you wanna go to the hospital wing?" he asked quietly, even though he already knew the answer as she shook her throbbing head. "Your dorm, then?"

Addie nodded lightly, and as Slughorn finished his demonstration, sending everyone back to their desks, Harry put his hand on the small of her back and the two approached him.

"Professor—?"

"Harry, m'boy!" he smiled, stirring the bubbling cauldron, moving back as it started to spit. Adeline watched it warily. "How can I be of service? Did you understand the method? I came up with it myself, you see. It was all inspired by—"

"Uh, yeah. Great method." Harry cut him off, clearing his throat. "Professor—can we be excused? Addie's not feeling great."

"Of course, of course," he waved them off, not needing to question them as Dumbledore had already informed the professors to let Adeline have breaks. Turning around, he faced the blackboard, writing the homework. "Although, make sure you read chapter tw—" Slughorn looked back, but the two had already left.

The Gryffindor Tower was quite far away from the Potions classrooms, so Harry took as many shortcuts as he could think of. It felt hard for Adeline to keep her balance, especially when they reached the moving staircases, so he kept an arm around her waist. He looked down to see her eyes drooping a bit as they reached one of the last hallways, and she stumbled a little.

"Addie?" he held her up, but quickly sank to the floor with her as her legs buckled.

"You're okay, you're okay," Harry knelt beside her, the cold concrete on their knees. He tucked the hair that curtained her face from him behind her ear. She was still awake, though barely; struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Sorry," Addie mumbled quietly, and tried standing again, only for her legs to collapse once more. He tightened his arm around her waist, holding her elbow as she wavered in consciousness.

"Don't be sorry—it's okay," he said. Seeing as she couldn't so much as stand properly, Harry adjusted his arms so one remained around her waist and the other moved beneath her legs. He stood; lifting her up bridal-style with ease.

Addie leaned into his chest, her breath faintly brushing his skin as she circled her arms around his neck. Warmed by Harry's body heat, she was comforted as he held her close; the subtle scent of his cologne drawing butterflies in her chest. She closed her eyes.

"Tired?" He asked, and she nodded against his shoulder. His voice was soft as it met her ear to avoid irritating her headache. "The common room isn't too far from here...do you feel sick at all? Dizzy?"

"Just tired..." she said quietly, her voice slightly muffled with his jumper against her cheek. "And cold...but you're warm."

He smiled to himself as she nestled closer into him, and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll stay with you," Harry said softly, and felt Addie nod against his chest in response.

Finally, as he recited the password to the Fat Lady portrait, they were encased in the familiarity of the common room; empty, given it was the middle of the day and everyone was spread around the castle in their classes.

He carefully ascended the stairs up to the dorm Adeline shared with Hermione and Ginny, and felt her shivering ease the more she rested into him. Eventually they made it to her dorm, and he closed the door behind him as he walked inside.

Stepping to her bed, he sat on its edge with her on his lap. Harry wrapped his arms around her, and felt his heart flutter with warmth as she cuddled into his chest. With one hand absently rubbing her arm, trying to ease her shivering, he held her closer, and smiled as she sighed a little in content.

"Comfy?" His lips brushed over the top of her head, and she laughed quietly, mumbling "shut up," into his chest.

"Maybe have a hot shower, yeah? Get into comfier clothes?" he said, his voice low and quiet; soothing to her headache. "That always makes me feel better."

"Yeah, okay," Addie nodded, but stayed for a few moments more in his embrace. Eventually, she stood, and his hands rested lightly over her forearms to help her balance. He helped her walk to her dresser, her movements slow and fatigued, where she grabbed some clean clothes, and turned back to face him as he let go once she stepped to the en-suite door.

"You'll stay?" she asked and his expression softened.

"I'll wait out here," he smiled, and Addie returned it before she let go and went inside, keeping the door a smidge open. Harry sat beside the door on the carpet, back against the wall, and faced the other way to give her privacy.

After a moment, he heard the water turn on as he fiddled with a hair tie of hers on his wrist. Just as Harry spied a quidditch book on Addie's bedside table that he'd left there by accident, and decided he could look through it while she showered, the water turned off, and he heard a small "Harry?" come from inside the bathroom. He angled his head toward the door.

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me?"

He stood. "Do you want me to come in?"

"Yeah."

He hesitated, though opened the door, looking up to see her wrapped in a towel with beads of water lining her face and shoulders; her hair wet and dripping at the ends; the gold heart locket resting a couple inches below her collarbone. He couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked. "Are you okay?" he finally mustered from the door frame.

"I can't keep my arms up to wash my hair," Addie said, avoiding his eyes a little; embarrassed in not being able to do it herself. "Do you think you..." she trailed off, but he caught on.

"'Course," he said, moving into the bathroom, closing the door behind him to keep the warmth from the heater inside. Addie stepped into the tub, holding the towel—charmed to stay dry—closer, her back to him, and he stepped closer to the tub outside its edge, rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt as she handed him the shampoo bottle.

Harry gathered the hair that had fallen around her front, fingers just brushing over her collarbone, before grabbing the handheld showerhead from its hook. She leaned her head back a bit as he wetted her hair more, and as he poured some of the green-apple shampoo onto his palm, his heart warmed at the familiar, fresh scent.

Lathering it over her head, Harry ran his fingers carefully over her scalp, trying not to tangle her hair. Her face was pink from the intimacy, though he didn't notice; focusing as the shampoo turned into foamy white bubbles, making sure it didn't trail down onto her face. And although Addie could have applied it much quicker, it felt so much nicer to have someone else do it instead: her headache gradually fading with his hands moving gently, cautiously, through her hair.

Running the water over her hair once more, he stroked her head to help guide the shampoo out of her dark strands, comforted as the scent he'd grown to associate with her lingered in the air, smiling a little to himself as she leaned into his touch.

"What next?" he asked, turning off the water, and she handed him the conditioner bottle.

"This one just goes on the ends and stays in for a minute or so," Addie said quietly.

Gathering her hair in his hands, Harry added the conditioner to the ends as she said—but marks on what he could see of her back caught his eye.

Not only were the black veins around her back more vivid, but there were many old scars he never knew were there. And though he wasn't exactly surprised—he had more than the usual person as well—after all they'd been through in the graveyard, the department of mysteries and every time the death eaters got their hands on Addie, it still made his chest ache to see them.

He traced his thumb over one of the old scars, and Addie sucked in a breath.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Hm?" Harry blinked, taken aback, his hand remaining on her skin. "Sorry for what?"

"The scars, and the veins," she shifted where she stood, self-conscious as she drew the towel closer. "...there's a lot."

"That's nothing to be sorry for," he watched as Addie looked down, sniffing a little.

"But they make me ugly."

"Nothing could make you ugly," Harry said softly, but she didn't say anything. He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to her bare shoulder, and she felt his breath against her skin as he said, "you're beautiful, Addie. Beautiful."

At the sincerity lacing his words, she turned around. Their faces were only inches apart, and her eyes were big and glassy as she asked, "really?", and he nodded.

"You always have been."

Addie reached out to him with one hand—the other holding her towel—and drew him closer before wrapping her arm around his back, pulling him closer. He hugged her back, with one arm around her waist and the other around her upper back to help keep her towel in place. She mumbled "I love you," against his chest, and his lips brushed the top of her head as he said it back, holding her closer.

Warmed by his body heat, with the side of her head against his chest and shirt that smelt like fresh linen and him, his arms circled around her, Addie found she was no longer shivering.

The two laughed after pulling away as they noticed the water on his shirt from where her head had been, and her hair was smooth beneath his fingers as he washed the conditioner out and kissed the top of her head once he was done, closing the door behind him to let her finish up.

Finally warm, Addie came out of the bathroom wearing a simple t-shirt and loose shorts, holding her wet hair to stop it from dripping. Seeing this, Harry pulled his wand out and muttered a quick spell, and instantly her hair was dry. She sent him a tired smile; a delicate drowsiness as she stepped closer to him, the midday light streaming through the window warming the sides of their faces.

"You should get some sleep, okay?" he said softly; voice mellow like gentle acoustics, getting a little lost as he looked into her eyes.

"Lay with me?" Addie asked, and he nodded.

She moved to her bed and laid down on top of the covers, meanwhile he kicked his shoes off before laying beside her, grabbing the throw rug from the foot of the bed and putting it over her lower half. Her back to him, laying on her side, he put his arm around her waist and smiled as the scent of her shampoo eclipsed his senses, though not before she quickly reached over and took his glasses off, folding and putting them on her nightstand.

It was wonderfully quiet; the only sounds meeting his ears were faint birdsong in the distance and her soft breath. Harry's heart warmed as she grabbed his arm loosely around her waist and hugged it close to her chest instead, his chest now against her back.

"How come your bed is so much comfier than mine?" he mumbled into her hair, disturbing the silence, and he felt her body shake as she laughed.

It was these quiet moments with her that he was the most content because she was here in his arms; safe, warm, and isn't that enough?

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a/n:

i'm so single

i came up with the washing hair scene weeks ago and i've been dying to write it omg

TYSM FOR 500K ON TRUST <3

i've had the ten minute version of 'all too well' on repeat

aaaand, uh, one chapter + epilogue left of angels AHH

let me know what u thought of the chapter!!

BYE <3

-g