Over the ages, human imagination has  endeavored to find the penultimate representation of what makes love's fickle hand possible: Ishtar, Eros, Frigga, Hathor, Parvati, and the most iconic of today...

That stupid fuck Cupid... Yah, humans are real ungrateful, unimaginative bastards... Of course, they evolved from monkeys.

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"Yah... I think this captures my thoughts about Cupid." A-Cupid chuckled, her slender fingers flittering across the Alcantara keyboard of her new Surface. 

"But Management definitely won't like it." She huffed, easing one rose-colored nail towards the 'delete' key. A moment later, her opening statement was obliterated.

A-Cupid slammed the tablet closed, her glass desk rattling in protest. She wanted to hurl the stylish device against the wall. But, KR, Kerub Resources, had 'kindly' informed her that such actions were 'damaging to a safe/friendly working environment.' 

The Kerubs, little winged kittens in-charge of doing her bidding, were learning that even if she shot down their efforts to unionize, she couldn't stop them from utilizing KR. KR had been Management's idea, and you didn't argue with Management...

"Kerubs... Safe and friendly working environment." A-Cupid mocked, her hands moving to compress her caramel colored cheeks. It was unnecessary. Much to her chagrin, she too baby-faced. Thankfully, humanity had yet to rob her of the curves a 4000-year-old goddess deserved. Of course, humans inevitably found a way to fuck things up... if you let them. Kerubs were the same.

"One day I'm going to show the fur-balls just how 'safe and friendly' I can be..." She huffed, slowly rising to gaze out at the sprawling ocean city beyond her corner-office. San Diego was a beautiful city. And the way the sun touched the distant mountains in the evening was... breathtaking. 

But none of that had led A-Cupid to spend over a hundred million dollars purchasing a 24-story building in the Marina district, or hours infusing the complex with enough magical wards to make Santa Clause envious.

She had done it all to free herself from Cupid. The whiny little bastard just didn't take the hint that their little rivalry was over. She was Queen of Love Assistance now, and the Queen didn't need diapered arrow-slingers mucking up her operation. After all, it hadn't been easy modernizing the industry into a finely tuned corporation.

A-Cupid nostalgically recalled the sleepless nights preparing presentations, endless petitions for investors, and the constant stream of sycophants that tried to politely destroy her dream. Still, Compared to the centuries prior to that... it had been easy. She refused to remember those dark times.

She had launched A-Cupid Dating in 1998 with an overworked support staff, a dial-up connection, and a tiny space in Cupid's armory. At first, they'd done things the hard way by connecting people via chatrooms, but it hadn't taken long for A-Cupid's more clever Kerubs to become interested in automated data analysis, psychology, and coding. 

Love Assistance had evolved to  include a mix of hacking, data gathering, and information analysis, solidified by complex subliminal ques... in 'special' cases. She had restricted that research. 

Two decades later, she could do more with her palm-pilot than 10 bow-wielding toddlers! If only they could solidify their deal with NVIDA for a Love Assistance AI... but that'd take years.

"Cupid..." A black Kerub called, prying A-Cupid from her trip down memory lane. The adorable creature's voice failed, realizing the gravity of that error. It took real balls, or in this case ovaries, not to lose one's voice when A-Cupid spread her massive pink and white feathered wings; wings that were as sharp as steel blades.

"I mean, Ma'am. The Technical Department..."

"Save it, Whiskers." A-Cupid sighed, reverting to the dismissive tone she adopted when dealing with Kerubs. "I am positive I left DETAILED instructions NOT to be disturbed..."

"My name's Liz, and You did, but..." Liz interrupted, only to be silenced by A-Cupid's cold scarlet eyes.

"Whiskers, no butts. Come back..." A-Cupid hissed. She was cut short as a pudgy short-hair Kerub burst through the white silk veil that served as the 'door' to her office.

"Cupid, server 1, 2, 3, and 5 are down! The head of the Technical..." The Kerub frantically exclaimed, its small grey wings struggling to keep it aloft. 

"Don't panic, report." A-Cupid calmly ordered, removing a silver compact mirror from her flowing white evening robe. She glanced back to leer at the new Kerub, and the creature blanched. "Was this a result of planned maintenance? ETR?"

"No, and no ETR yet." Liz answered, her green eyes shifting between the other Kerub and A-Cupid. "Speckles wanted me to inform you that the problem will take longer than 24 hours to..."

"Longer than a day? Unacceptable." A-Cupid sighed, tapping the mirror multiple times. With Each tap, A-Cupid's image dissolved and reappeared, adorned in a different fashionable outfit.

"Ma'am, Speckles suspects it was sabotage." 

A-Cupid snapped the compact mirror shut, suddenly clad in her favorite 'battle attire', a black business suit trimmed in hot pink.

"Fat Cat, inform C.L.A.W.S, they have 24 hours to find the saboteur." A-Cupid commanded, calmly marching out of her office onto a platform overlooking a wide 22-story chamber. "Fat Cat" wisely charged past her, rapidly descending the busy center office, narrowly avoiding several mid-air collisions with other flying felines. 

"Liz, inform Speckles that triple shifts are authorized, and all off-duty personnel are to be called in. FIX THIS SHIT." A-Cupid sneered, leaping from the platform like a Valkyrie eager for war. 

"ATTENTION! This is not a drill! All personnel not involved in repairs, report to the armory! Grab a collar-pilot and hack every data terminal from her to Las Angeles. If it has a social function, I want us DISCREETLY in-charge. MOVE IT!" A-Cupid barked, and the office of Kerabs suddenly became a feline swarm that rushed to every possible window and out into the city. 

"M'am, C.L.A.W.S reports they have a suspect..." Liz reported, stopping when she realized A-Cupid's gaze was glued to her palm-pilot.

"CUPID!"