CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

THERESIA'S POV

"You don't have to force yourself, Theresia. Kung hindi mo pa kaya, don't force yourself. Kung naguguluhan ka, it's better if you figure it out yourself. Alam kong alam mo na rin naman kung anong nararamdaman mo para sa kanya. Don't complicate it, Theresia."

Coffee's last words kept repeating inside my head. Kahit tatlong araw na ang nakalipas, 'yun pa rin ang naaalala ko.

After I lost consciousness, he took me home and waited for me to wake up. I was even surprised when I saw Juliana worrying all over me. They were trying to ask me what happened but I never answered. Hanggang sa nagpaiwan si Coffee saglit sa kwarto ko para kausapin ako. He said those words without expecting a response from me. Nang makalipas ang ilang minuto na hindi ko sila pinansin ay nagpaalam na silang uuwi.

"Alam kong alam mo na rin naman kung anong nararamdaman mo para sa kanya. Don't complicate it, Theresia."

I let out a sigh. Don't complicate it? But it's already complicated.

Noon pa lang naman ay alam ko nang magiging komplikado ito. Mas lumala lang nang magkaroon ng kasintahan si Martina. Nang maalala ko 'yun ay sumikip na naman ang dibdib ko. Para na namang pinipiga ang puso ko.

Alam ko na kung bakit ako nasasaktan kapag iniisip ko kung bakit hindi pwede si Martina, kung bakit ako nasasaktan nang makita ko silang naghahalikan, kung bakit ko naisip na agawin si Martina noon.

It wasn't just for Martha.

It wasn't as simple as wanting to have a happy and complete family for her.

It was for me to have Martina. For us to be together.

Because I was already falling for him.

Napabalik naman ako sa reyalidad nang may kumatok. It was Martha's voice.

"Mommy, are you okay now? Would you play with me now? I hope you eat well, Mommy. I miss you po. I love you, Mommy."

Martha's sweet voice made a tear fall from my eye. With what I'm doing, I won't be able to take care of my baby. Konti na lang baby, your mom will be okay.

Minutes passed and she didn't talk again. Malamang niyaya na ni Jester si Martha papalayo sa kwarto ko. I let out a sigh and stared at the window once again.

For three days, ito lang ang ginagawa ko. Nakatulala sa kwarto, dadalhan ng pagkain ng maid, mawawalan ng ganang kumain pero kakailanganin dahil mas lalong maaapektuhan si Martha kapag nakita niya akong mahina, and then the maid will pick it up, I'll try to sleep peacefully but will end up crying myself to sleep.

Pagod na pagod na rin ako sa ginagawa ko. Gusto kong maging okay pero parang ambigat-bigat ng puso ko. After a long time, Noah came back and the first thing I'll see would be the both of them kissing.

Parang tinutusok na naman ang puso ko. I hate hurting myself but I can't help it.

Naglakad na ako papunta sa kama ko saka humiga, and just like the other days, I cried myself to sleep.

~•~

MARTINA'S POV

"Sir Martin, bibisitahin niyo po ba ulit si Miss Tere?" I nodded at the maid's question nang pagbuksan niya ako ng pinto. "Hindi pa rin po siya lumalabas ng kwarto niya po at kaaalis lang ng mag-asawang Myers kasama si Miss Martha."

Tinanguan ko na lang siya at nagpasalamat saka pumasok sa loob ng mansyon ng Myers. There I saw Jester, talking to someone over the phone. "Yes, Ma. Balitaan ko kayo kaagad kapag natapos na ang kadramahan ni Ate..." Bigla siyang natawa. "Joke lang, Ma. Opo na. Basta mag-iingat kayo ha? And don't spoil Martha too much. mayayari na naman tayo kay Ate." Tumawa siya ulit. "Sige Ma. Bye."

Nang ibaba niya ang telepono ay saka ako tuluyang pumasok. Medyo nagulat pa siya nang makita ako pero agad din namang ngumiti.

"Martina! Napadalaw ka, nasa taas pa rin si Ate pero nakakain naman na ng tanghalian," he told me before he gestured to the sofa near me. "Upo ka. Do you want something to drink?" Umiling naman ako. "I see. Is there a problem?"

Huminga muna ako nang malalim bago nagsimulang magsalita. "You see... I'm just curious."

"Hmm? About what?" His smile didn't leave his lips.

"Nasaan ang nanay ni Martha?"

I saw Jester stilled for a second before plastering his face with a smile. "I don't know, actually. Wala na kaming balita tungkol sa kanya."

I laid my back comfortably before crossing my legs. "Do you want to know her? Hindi ba mas makakabuti kay Martha kung makikilala niya ang tunay niyang ina?" Jester's face became serious and so was mine. "O baka naman kilala na niya talaga pero ang tatay niya ang hindi niya kilala?"

The jolly Jester was gone, replaced with a serious and cold one. "What are you pointing out, Mr. Gill?"

"Martha's mother... is upstairs, locking for herself in her room. Tama ba?" I seriously asked.

"Give it to me straight, Mr. Gill."

I sat down properly. "I'm saying that you aren't Martha's father and Tere is Martha's mother." Hindi naman nagbago ang emosyon sa mukha ni Jester. He didn't budge. He didn't even look surprised. D*mn it! I need answers! I want to know the truth.

"Where did you get such nonsense?" he coldly asked, which stunned me for a second.

"Trecia," I answered.

I heard Jester tsked. "Mr. Gill—" Napahinto naman siya sa sasabihin niya nang biglang tumunog ang phone niya. "—excuse me." Tumayo siya at sinagot ang tawag. "Hello? Who is this?" It was seconds of silence before he uttered another word. "What‽" Nanahimik ulit siya saka nagsalita. "I'm coming. Send me the address. Thank you." He ended the call and ran to the second floor.

Hindi nagtagal ay nakita ko muli si Tere. After three days, I finally saw her face.

Naka-pajamas siya at magulo ang buhok habang nagmamadaling bumaba ng hagdan.

Why am I even adoring her when she's causing chaos in my mind as of now?

I shook my head and was ready to confront her but she didn't even waste a second to glance at me. She just ran past me and went outside of their house.

Nakita ko naman si Jester na nagmamadali ring bumaba at nang hindi ako nakapagpigil ay hinarangan ko ang dinadaanan niya. "A-Anong nangyayari?"

Jester looked lost in his thoughts before he looked at me. "Sina Mama at Papa naaksidente. Dinala sa ospital."

Nagmamadali siyang lumabas ng bahay nila. I suddenly remembered what the maid said before I went inside. "Kaaalis lang ng mag-asawang Myers kasama si Miss Martha."

Martha...

I quickly ran to my car, saw Jester's car, and followed it. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nanlalamig ang mga kamay ko habang iniisip ang pwedeng nangyari.

Sana walang masamang nangyari kay Martha.