I couldn't count the number of times I'd stood under the shower, my skin raw from scratching as memory after memory washed through my mind. Each time the small girl in my mind screamed as the woman she'd become thrashed to break free of the pain...

No matter how much I struggled or scrubbed, the images remained—paintings on every corner of my mind. 

Bile rose and for the third time this morning, I threw up the acidic bile in my stomach. Alaric had been cautious, treading around me like I was porcelain. I fucking hated it, but at the same time craved his tenderness. It was maddening. 

I reached out and wiped the foggy mirror, cold blue eyes looked back at me. Damp hair copper in color fell over my shivering shoulders. He'd given me a five-minute timer and said he'd come in if I didn't finish in that amount of time. It was like he knew I needed the accountability, needed something to anchor me to this reality. 

My phone had two more minutes left on the clock. Beneath it, there were multiple messages and calls from Linc, he was concerned with my absence. Somehow in my dazed state, the entire school week had passed and the weekend was once more on my doorstep. 

Alaric had remained around me the entire time, his entire focus on my wellbeing. He was silent, but his touch and presence felt like medicine to my shattered insides. He'd hold me through the nights when the flashbacks were the worst, through the day he'd feed me, wash me... ground me. 

Never once was he impatient. I was a treasure to him and he handled me with such care and sensitivity, that I cried and cried. Because no one had ever been as gentle as the devil who kissed my tears away. 

Bit by bit he was taking control of the nightmares, more and more when the little girl cried, Alaric stood in the shadows of that filthy room. He never left her alone with any of the cruel men, not once.

The sound of my brush falling into the sink jerked me back, picking it up, I returned it to the holder. Then I turned away from the stranger in the mirror. With a shaky sigh, I pinched my cheeks to bring some life into them. 

His words carried me through the house and into my bedroom. 

How long will you let them hurt you...

Looking between the sweats on my bed and my drawers, I took a deep breath and pulled out a fresh set of panties. Then I pulled on a white cotton crop top, black jeans and boots. Grabbing my jacket I trailed my fingers along the wooden walls and entered the kitchen. 

Alaric sat with his back to me, tense and larger than life. He tapped away on his laptop, somehow sensing my arrival he stood while closing the device. I was becoming an expert at reading Alaric's expressions, right now, there was a slight panic. 

Concern that I would fly into a manic episode. The same panic simmered beneath my surface, for the first time in a week since the first flashback, I spoke. "I want to show you something."

He shook his head, "it's cold, put on more clothes."  

"It's not far." I replied. Besides where we were going, less clothes were needed. 

Alaric's jaw twitched, it seemed to do that when he was holding back from letting his control snap. "You need to eat." His eyes trailed down my form and I dropped my lashes, even I could feel the extra room around my middle. 

"We can bring some food," I said, hopefully, suppressing the need to vomit again at the mere thought of eating. 

He sighed, ran a hand down his face and then nodded. I moved around the kitchen, grabbing a straw basket and filling it with fruits, bread, olives and cheese. In the time it took me to pack the items, Alaric had changed from his black sweatpants and long-sleeve shirt into jeans and hiking boots. 

Grabbing two bottles of water, he took the basket from my grip and gestured for me to lead the way. 

Our little bubble, felt nice, away from the world and all its sins. 

I led him through the house and out through the back door. Locking it behind us, Alaric frowned as I started walking across the back veranda and down the few steps that led into the dense greenery. 

Inhaling deeply, I soaked up the scents of the earth, enhanced by the rain we'd had the past week. The cold nipped at my skin, pebbling my nipples beneath the thing fabric of my shirt. The sting of pain felt like a blistering reminder that I controlled what I felt. 

A need so strong pulsed through my system and without looking back I walked through the trees until the sound of water crashing could be heard. 

Alaric was silent, moving behind me like a protective shadow. I felt the tension leave my body as the clearing came into view, crystal blue water twinkled back at me, reflecting the glitter of the sun. I removed my jacket and then my boots. 

"You'll get hypothermia, Vaela, no." 

His tone was strong, unbreakable. 

But I needed the cold, needed something to shock me back to life. So I continued, removing my socks and jeans. Placing them in a neat pile on the rocks, I turned to face him. Goosebumps ran along my skin, the cold chased away by his burning stare. 

Then ever so slightly, Alaric nodded. 

God his approval felt like the weight of the world had lifted off my shoulders. Walking back I let the water nip at my feet, then my ankles and calves. Finally, locking my eyes with his dark ones, I dropped back. 

The rush hit me hard, my body chilled before it burned and I blinked as the water cascaded around me. For a moment I was sinking, everything was peaceful and quiet. My mind focused on keeping my blood pumping through my body, there was no room for the scary men. 

All too soon the oxygen in my body caused it to float and I resurfaced. Standing, I looked around for Alaric. The water kissed my waist, I ran my hands over my head and smiled. The white material clung to my body, transparent. For a moment I felt cleansed.  And that's when I knew, I needed him. 

Like this, in control of my body, I needed him. 

My words were barely a whisper but they cut through the distance, "please." 

Alaric saw the resolve in my face. Lowering the basket, Alaric pulled his shirt from his torso from the back of his neck. Intricate colorful designs filled my vision, my eyes like leeches, sucking up every inch of skin he exposed. 

The man was pure perfection, I'd never seen anything more beautiful, more strong and dangerous. He either did not feel the cold or was above caring because his tan skin remained still as he removed his boots and jeans. 

All that was left was his black boxers. 

My lungs ached to expand as my heart rate increased. He stepped out of the tree line and walked along the rocks until he entered the still body of water, it moved around him as he approached me.

"Tell me what's in here?" He said, reaching out to cup my face, his index finger tapping my temple. 

I arched my neck back to look up at him. "Nothing but you," I replied. It was the truth, he was invading my mind and senses, the ice of the water and the heat of his body cementing me to this time and place. 

His free hand came up to cup the other side of my face, then his mouth was inches from mine. I stole his oxygen as he breathed, letting it drug me while my lungs greedily saturated themselves. "I don't share, Tesoro. This beautiful mind is mine, when I take you, when I'm in you, I own it." 

It's yours, all of it...

Nodding I relaxed into his touch. 

He waited for a breath, then he claimed my lips. Nothing about his touch was soft or tender now, pure desire and need clashed our teeth as we fought for control. Strong hands trailed down my body until they clasped the back of my thighs, with one swift movement, Alaric lifted me out of the water. 

I wrapped my legs around his torso and broke our kiss, "need to look at you," I whispered breathlessly. 

A small smile graced his lips, "okay baby," he murmured, using one hand to hold me to his body while the other reached between our bodies to flick my painfully erect nipples. 

He rolled the small bud between his fingers and I moaned, my hips rolling into his abdomen. My body burned in all the right ways as the cold was long forgotten. All my senses seemed to focus on Alaric, his woodsy scent, consuming dark brown pools, and muscular body. 

Effortlessly, he held me up while walking us deeper into the water and flicking my nipples. I threw my head back as he dropped his mouth to my free breast. Over the material of my top, he licked, sucked and bit down hard. 

All of it was for me, reminders to keep me with him. The man read my body without words; he knew I needed him rough and brutal, needed him to keep me with him. I held his head to my chest and he looked up at me, God what a man... 

Something frightening alike pure devotion filled his eyes, he released my nipple only to say, "I want your eyes, Vaela... all of it, only on me." 

All I could do was nod as he continued torturing my aching breasts. A gasp left my lips as he reached down to slide a finger along my pantie cover slit. 

"Please, Alaric," I groaned, rolling my hips into his hand. 

He nipped my pointed tips hard, patience, the small bite told me.

 "Need to open you up to me... okay?" He said and I nodded needing whatever he was willing to give me. "Good girl, my perfect, pretty woman..." He complimented me, and a rush of heat ran through my body, I felt it slicken between my thighs and clenched hard. 

Alaric pushed my panties to the side and thrust one finger into my needy heat, it clamped around him tightly. "Fuck..." Alaric growled. 

I moved my hips into him, fucking his finger until he added a second, then a third...

a/n: 

Hello my loves, I've just submitted HDLS into the 2024 Wattys! Please share and show your love for our beautiful Vaela and ridiculously addictive Alaric... Thank you for all the support this book has received, I can't wait to give you more of their story! Xx.