“I should run, and the feeling goes on.”
....

“...and then it was so awkward and I had to leave,” I say flatly as I scribble in my song book. “There, you satisfied?”

“Wait you actually said that to him?” she blurts, staring at me with wide eyes.

I drop my pen and look at her. “Yeah? What?”

“Kyle let you talk to him like that?”

My forehead creases as I try to understand what she's saying.

“Kyle never lets anyone talk to him that way. To ask him why he's so cocky?’ she lets out a short laugh.

I shake my head in confusion.

“Girl, he really likes you!” she cries, looking at me like I'm an idiot. “And he even told you that? He opened up just a tiny bit to you? Even asked you why you didn't like him?”

I nod slowly, a blush creeping up my cheeks as I finally understand.

“And he doesn't ever do that?” I ask.

“He never explains himself to anyone, Star! At least that's what I know. He never…” she pauses and bites her bottom lip in thought. “It's either you're just so intimidating or he's head over heels."

“Wait, wait, hold on,” I say, running my hand through my messy brown hair. “Does he make his personality so known to every single person in school?”

“Girl, if you've been in Madison high for a month at least you'd know–”

“Heya people!” Sam greets as he walks into the room. “What's popping?”

“Omg Sam you have to hear what happened between Star and Kyle!” Emily cries.

Sam rushes over and sits on the bed, eyes wide. “What happened, did they kiss?”

“Eww."

“What happened then?”

After she tells him everything, he concludes that Kyle is in love with me.

I facepalm and shake my head. “I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you guys.”

“Oh come on Star,” Sam says and grabs my shoulders, shaking me back and forth so my hair is scattered all over my face. “You could actually be the one to change him!”

“I know right?” Emily agrees enthusiastically.

“Guys stop!” I say, shrugging Sam's hands off my shoulders and rearranging my hair. “I'm not changing anyone or anything like that okay? If he likes me, and I really doubt that, then that's his problem. You guys should stop watching cliché things really.”

They only laugh at me as if I'm not being dead serious.

“No but seriously Star, Kyle has never ever been the one to go out of his way to want to spend time with someone. If you follow the gossip in school, you'd hear things about how girls actually go to the music club just to see him. They do it shamelessly and most times, Kyle actually tells them to leave cause they're disrupting practice. He never goes soft for anyone.”

“So you're saying every single girl Kyle flirts with falls madly in love with him?” I ask skeptically.

“No, of course…well yeah mostly.”

“Bro's got a super power,” Sam comments as he gets up to go rummage through my drawers.

“It's always the girls begging him, bothering him, that he's gotten so used to it. They're also the reason he's cocky as hell. So whenever someone he targets doesn't act that way it bruises his ego and you know…”

I murmur the ending of the song I'm currently writing and sigh as I close the book shut.

“Look guys, I love the idea of being the first person to actually intimidate him and bring his ego down…but it doesn't really make me feel any special if that's what it's supposed to do.”

“What're you saying?” Sam asks as he swivels around on my chair to face me.

“I'm saying that from all the information I have of him, the rom coms you guys have forced me to consume and just my normal reasoning…he just basically wants to add me to his collection of girls right?”

“I don't–”

“No no that's it. That has to be it.” I get off the bed and walk over to my table to return the song book.

“I'm not stupid,” I say. “At least not completely. This is how they do it. They act like they really like you, they'll do things like this and everyone is like wow he's really head over heels. It's how they are. They are for some reason…great actors. And then you fall in love with them and when they know they've gotten you, check, they've gotten what they want. They've satisfied their ego and you're suddenly trash to them."

“Star, no,” Emily says. “What we're trying to say is that you might be the change. When a guy plays you, he doesn't really like you, but if he really likes you, doesn't that mean he can't play you?”

“Well, yeah…but you can't be so sure he actually likes me.” Just the thought of it makes me feel uncomfortable.
“I have never dated anyone and if I'm gonna, the first person I will date is not going to be a guy that is infamous for being a player.”

I stroll over to my bed and lay down, thinking of what to do now. I just don't want to take anything they say seriously or even think about it. I refuse to be involved in this whole thing.

Well that's until Sam says something aggravating.

“Are you sure you aren't just scared of falling for him?”

It causes me to sit up and stare at him.
“What? Of course not!”

I'm surprised when Emily joins in.
“You know Star, you say that you can't really feel like a normal person.”

“I said–”

“And we believe you. But if you really can't, and of course that means that you can't love someone romantically right?’

“I didn't–”

“As a challenge, why don't you spend time with him. As much as you can and especially during music club.”

Sam nods in agreement and I stare back and forth between the people I call my best friends.
“If you can't love him then you should have no problem.”

I know I said I wanted to see him again for some reason. I didn't want to think about it. But that didn't stop me from getting a bit annoyed at my best friends for challenging me. I didn't even know whose side they were on anymore.

I was really stubborn and I liked to prove things to people. I wasn't one to back down from a challenge. And I also wasn't scared of falling in love with Kyle accidentally. The chances were really low. And although I had an interest in seeing him again, that didn't mean anything.

“Challenge accepted.”

An alarm started to blare from Sam's phone.

“Oh shit gotta leave now.”

“Where you going?” I ask.

“Hospital.”

“Good luck!” Emily says before he leaves.

Once he's gone I face her with narrowed eyes.
“What?” she asks.

“What's up with you and Sam?” I finally ask. They've been acting weirder and weirder each day and it's not so noticeable but as their best friend I can tell.

She feigns confusion for a bit but then she finally surrenders.

“I honestly don't know, Star,” she says quietly with a sigh.

“Did anything happen?’

“Nothing happened. It's just…we're not the same anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she begins quietly. “I don't think we're supposed to be together. I don't think we click.”

I scoff at her. “The fuck do you mean? You guys are so cute together! I can't even imagine–”

She shakes her head. “We get along most times but even he knows that the spark we had in the beginning is fading. He doesn't say it though. I think we just both know.”

“Oh…” I say. It's not like I know much about relationships or anything. I just don't want them splitting up to ruin our friendship.

“Maybe…” I begin carefully. “Maybe if you guys think it's best for you to break up, then you should.”

“You think so?” she asks, her face brightening as if she's relieved someone is supporting her.

“I think you should talk to him about it and then you'll know what to do next. Just talk to him about it.”

She nods.

“Alright, my piano is calling to me now,” I announce and hop off the bed.

Emily leaves soon after and I find myself alone in the music room, my fingers poised over the piano keys.

I take a deep breath and take the time to tell myself over and over that I'm not falling for no boy. Somehow this guy I met in a fro yo shop is creeping into my life and by accepting that challenge I'm also bringing him in slowly myself. I have to be careful, I tell myself as I warm up my fingers on the piano, playing random chords and then moving to the short pieces I made myself.

Yet, the image of his dark, taunting eyes and his irritating smirk doesn't want to leave my head. And it actually makes me a bit scared.

♬♬♬

The feeling - lost frequencies