"You seem so paralyzed. It's so romanticised.”
....

“I swear on my spider man action figure–”  I gasp.
“That’s what he said. Coach is evil! And he hates my guts for some reason."

I glance at Emily as she fiddles with the pink butterfly pin clipped at the side of her honey blonde hair. “He's...telling the truth.”

“Yeah I know. I heard the spider man action figure part,” she murmurs

I twist the plain yet really cool silver ring on my index finger absentmindedly as we walk into Milo's. Milo’s is the best fro yo shop ever and our favourite place to hang out. The smell of the sweet ice cream and yoghurt flavours wafts into my nose and I can't help but sigh.

The counter is filled with customers but Emily volunteers to go stand and wait for our orders. As she leaves, we decide to sit at a table and chat for a while. When we spot a free table for three, I drag the white metal chair back from the circular, slightly less white, three-legged table backwards and take a seat.

My chin rests heavily on my palm as I stare at the colourful swirls and patterns that make the table look like vanilla ice cream with sprinkles. Swirly sprinkles. Hmm…maybe I'll invent them–

“It's just fucked up.”

I look up at Sam and I can't help but notice how bad he looks. The usual dark circles under his eyes have become even darker and the perpetual smirk he always has on is now replaced with a frown. As he drops his hands on the table I notice his shoulders are tightened up.

“Sam,” I start. He raises a brow at me. “Breathe.”

He takes in a dramatic breath a let's it out with an equally dramatic sigh.

“Done. What else do you want?”

“I want my best friend back.” I look down and fiddle with my ring again. “I know how much being in the team is important to you. But…you can't let it take over you.”

“Star, the coach is threatening to take me off the team! He took away my captaincy cuz he thinks I'm slacking off and now he says I have to get my grades up.”

“Then do that," I reply, ignoring the fact that he just ignored my advice.

“Huh?”

I facepalm. “Get your grades up. Work harder.”

“Yeah, no shit. Don't you think I'm trying? You're not even getting what I'm saying!"

I purse my lips. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey... Star,” he begins to apologise. I look up but then Sam and his problems and the fro yo shop and the entire godforsaken earth seems to vanish and the only thing that exists is this curly brown haired guy who's staring at me from the counter.

He's really cute, I note. But then that's it. The world comes back into focus and Sam is calling my name.

“Milo’s to Star! Okay…that sounds really weird. Star?” He's waving in front of my face and I slap his hand out of the way.

“Ow!”

I blink and try to pretend like the guy isn't still staring at me like some kind of zombie freak. I wonder why guys even look at me. I don't even wear make up and I'm not that pretty. Plus all I ever wear is baggy t-shirts, jeans, hoodies, sweatpants and the occasional crop top. The only skin I show ninety percent of the time is my face and I'm confident my default faicial expression can keep even wild animals away.

“Star are you okay?”

“I'm supposed to be asking you that question.”

“Yeah, we can clearly see I'm not fine, but are you?”

“Yeah of course why would–oh no.”

“What?!” he cries then follows my alarmed gaze and whips around.

We stare wordlessly as Mr Curly and Cute walks over to our table. My heart is pounding at a not-so-normal rate and that doesn't happen frequently.

Before he reaches us, Sam whips back around and he's grinning like crazy.

“No. Way. Star.”

“What. Is. It?” I ask through clenched teeth.

Too late for him to answer. The guy is suddenly at our table and he's dragging back the seat reserved for Emily and is sitting down.

“Hey Kyle," Sam greets cheerily. I look back and forth between them.

“Sup.” He nods at him and turns over to me with a dazzling smile. “Hi.”

Suddenly all the anxiety in me is drained and I'm staring at him with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah?”

He blinks at me, confused, but he goes on. “I'm Kyle.”

“I heard,” I say, gesturing vaguely at Sam.

Kyle raises a brow at me. “And you are?”

“I’m Star. Nice to meet you too.” I smile sweetly before waving at him.

His lips part slightly in confusion. “Wait what? No I came here to talk to you.”

"You did?" I ask and hear Sam snickering.

“Yeah…I just want to get to know you?”

I nod. “Why?"

Suddenly his face turns blank. “Oh…I see what's going on here. You already got a boyfriend.”

I let out a scornful laugh. “You're not serious.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, she has a boyfriend,” Sam suddenly blurts. I turn to him with widened eyes.

“Of course. I knew it.”

I scoff. What is he trying to say? That if I didn't have one I'd have fallen to his feet the second he locked eyes with me?

I'm even more disgusted.

“No, actually I d–”

“He's in college and he's rich and ripped and–”

“Sam–”

“He'll knock your teeth out if you mess with her.”

“Sam!”

“Sorry,” he mutters sheepishly.

“Look,” I say, turning to Kyle with the most irritated look on my face. “No I don't have a boyfriend. And I'm not looking for one anytime soon so I'm sorry, whatever you're doing here…you're wasting your time.”

He nods, unfazed, and gets up smoothly from the chair.
“I'll see you around Star.”

Now I'm just utterly confused. I'm glad he's leaving though but as he turns to do so, Sam suddenly blurts, “actually you'll see her around more often.”

My eyes are bulging as I look back at Sam.

Kyle whips around quickly. “Wait what do you mean?”

“She's starting at Madison high next week.”

Kyle's eyes have this mischievous gleam that makes me a bit uneasy. He smirks at me. “Well I'll see you in school then, Star.”

I watch as he walks to his group of friends that are waiting for him at the door. Once they spot him, they all leave immediately.

I'm still staring, perplexed, at the glass doors when Emily shows up.

“Hey I’m finally…Star? You okay?”

I turn back around and shoot Peter a glare before setting my eyes on the cups of yogurt in the center of the table.

“Kyle Rivers just tried to flirt with Star. He just left though."

Emily's eyes widen. “Omg, what? No way Star.”

“What?”

“Kyle is like…that guy. Like in a rom com…he's that guy. Need I say more?”

I shake my head and have a spoon of the yogurt. The freezing goodness melts in my mouth and I close my eyes as I savour every second of it.

“But he's a total player. Just ignore him. Feel honoured but don't.”

I laugh. “Like I was gonna. Plus, he's so cocky.”

“Yeah…” Emily says as she takes a spoon of yogurt.

“He just walked over here and took a seat, and just went…hi and probably expected me to fall to his feet, blushing and giggling. And then when he realised I wasn't interested, he concluded that it was because I already had a boyfriend."

Emily nods in understanding.

“Yeah...I cannot actually imagine star blushing and giggling–” Peter begins with a full mouth.

“No, you're forgetting Conan Gray. Have you watched her scroll through his Instagram?”

I almost choke on my yogurt as a laugh escapes my throat. “Guys, come on, Conan is different. He's like a man written by a woman.”

“Yeah, okay maybe she gushes for celebrities but guys her age…not really.”

I stab my yogurt repeatedly with the spoon. “You guys know I find it hard to connect with people. People are annoying, including you two but I can manage you. But then the whole drama with boys?” I laugh maniacally, drawing stares from people who walk past us. “Yeah no. I mean…first I have to actually be able to like someone. When we achieve that we'll talk about what's next.”

“Star you can keep saying that but you know I won't ever believe you.”

Emily gazes at me through her lashes that are accentuated by the dark, thick mascara she has on.

“You can like someone. You just don't know how to.”

“Whatever you say miss therapist.” I shrug.

We eat in silence for a while.

“Are you gonna finish that?” Sam asks Emily out of the blue.

She looks up at him and then back at the cup.
“I'll manage.”

“What do you mean? Can you finish it or not?”

“If I can't I'll just throw it a bin or something.”

His mouth hangs open in indignation but he just nods and goes back to his own yogurt.

I eat mine quietly and act as if I don't notice them. Sam and Emily have been dating for a year now. I met them three months after they began dating, when they were still simultaneously cute and disgusting. But after a few months they started to just annoy each other.

These days they just manage each other as much as they can. If you ask me, I'd say it's best they just break up. They were honestly just better as friends. But I won't point that out. That was their decision to make.

And besides, I fear that if they do split, we might not be as close as we are now. And the thought frightens me. My best friends are practically the only people I have in the world and I can’t lose them.

♬♬♬
BITTERSUITE - Billie Eillish