The ceiling fan rotated slowly in clockwise. its sound was the only source of music to push away the silence that enveloped the room. Alana stared at the white sheet that dangled from two nails on the ceiling, in form of a noose with a chair set beneath it. It's loop stared at her as she played with the strands of her now pixie cut hair, her heart pounding softly against her chest.

She had been staring at it for the last couple of hours, fighting with her confused mind, convincing herself that it was the right thing to do. Since her parents decided to block her out and refuse to understand her, she had no choice but to do what has to be done. If she can't leave this room, she'll have to use another way of leaving, permanently.

She rested her hand on Stephanie's belly that had a dark brown dot on the middle with plastered wrist was in clear view. She'd lied to her doctor she fell, which was quite a poor lie but was shocked that he bought it. He wasn't the important thing her mind at the moment though, she had other things to think about, especially the one presently in her head. No one wants to let her go away, so she'd have to take matters into her own hands.

"Suicide." She stated with a thoughtful look as she rested on the wall opposite her. "That's your plan, right?"

"Yeah."

"So you're just gonna, I don't know, hang yourself?"

"Yeah."

Alana didn't really know what was happening. Well, she did know what she was going to do, but then again, she didn't know. She stayed up last night with the ceiling being her company once again. Her mind was just a void until it crossed it, she had found herself getting up with the bed sheet yanked out. Making it to a thick like rope she had attached it to the ceiling and sat there, watching its loop dangle from side to side, till day break, which was now. She didn't think she'd be grateful for those long agonizing hours of rope making back in camp.

She knew what to do, she had been waiting for this moment. Everyone tried to get rid of her so they don't need to worry about a thing, they didn't want to give her the freedom she deserved, might as well do them a favour by not been a burden to anyone anymore. Her brother, her parents, even her dear friend made it crystal clear, she has gotten the signal.

It was time to act.

"So what happens next?"

"Everyone forgets about me and live their normal lives."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

The room fell silent once more. Alana liked the silence on a normal day but she didn't like this one. She didn't like how surprisingly calm she was. She didn't even know why she cared, why did she care? Did she expect her to stop her or what? She was tired of the unnecessary questions that popped up in her head. Of course she wouldn't care, she shouldn't care. She's just a stupid fragment of her twisted imagination.

With a sigh, she stared at Stephanie for a moment before setting her aside. She stood up and made her way to the chair before climbing on it, now face to face with with the noose, welcoming her to its circle, drawing her closer to fate that was installed for her.

Her time has finally come, the times that death would dodge her was finally coming to an end. The never ending voices of her high school past that screamed at her to end herself would finally stop, the voices would cease to exist and she'll finally have the peace of mind she deserves.

She set the loop round her neck and looked down at the carpeted floor, just one step and she'll be free from everything and everyone around her. She'll finally have a peace of mind, she'll finally be at peace. They won't have to bother about her one bit, Sandor would be more than pleased to be out of her case.

Once they find her body they can do whatever they want to do with it, she didn't care about that. She doubt they'll arrange a funeral for her. Even if they did, no one would show up. She barely had friends, She barely had people that cared about her, she is truly alone and that's that.

"Why are you hesitating?"

She closed her eyes shut, not daring to look at her. She didn't know why but she didn't want to see her teasing face and hear those stupid taunts. She didn't want her to interfere with what she was about to do. Nothing was going to stop her.

"Why are you stalling?"

"I'm not."

"Really-"

"Just shut up." She cut her off harshly, not daring to look at that face, her face. She wanted to get this over with but that unwanted being is distracting her. She didn't like it one bit.

"Am I really distracting you?"

"I said shut up."

"Why are you stalling?" She asked again.

Her mouth opened but words refused to come out. Words refused to form sensibly because of that witch that decided to confuse her today of all days. She didn't need that right now, she didn't need the distraction. She has waited for this, why isn't the universe letting her carry out her task. Why won't death let her come to him? She was ready to be free from the clutches of the dreadful abomination that were her thoughts, everything and everyone around her. Now she's changing her decisions, she's toying with her and she's sick of it. She's sick of her silly games. She was sick and tired.

Tired.

She opened her eyes with a sigh. "Just leave me be, I'm begging you. Please, for once just get out of my sight."

She found her way to the bed and sat on the edge, cradling Stephanie to her chest. The silence was deafening, too deafening. Neither of them said a word, as if waiting for someone to make the first move. The ceiling fan rotated slowly, its sound tried to reduce the tension between them. Alana turned her head to the quiet woman that stroked Stephanie's fury head with a warm smile on her face. She didn't seem to be affected by the awkward silence that enveloped the room.

She didn't understand her, she never did. How does she do it? How does she stay so calm with her horrible tantrums? How does she stay so humble when she gives her little or no attention? How does she do all these things? Why was she questioning her features when she isn't even a real person?

"You know, it's kind of funny," she spoke as she raised the stuffed panda to eye level, examining it in awe. "The time you're using to shut me out could have been used to fulfil your destiny."

Alana didn't speak.

She went on. "You know the funniest part?" She giggled to herself. "I'm not leaving you because you're holding me back. Bitch I'm not even real," now laughing loudly. "You created me out of loneliness! Priceless!"

"Shut up." It was barely audible, her eyes stung due to the tears that threatened to flow down her cheeks. "That isn't true."

"You created me because you're indecisive. You don't know what to do, you're conflicted."

"No." It came out in a whisper as she covered her ears with her palms, the loop still hung around her neck idly, patiently waiting for her to make her decision. "Shut up."

"I'm not technically talking."she dropped Stephanie aside. "You're talking to yourself, literally. Alana you're really loosing your sanity." She chuckled lightly. "How ironic is that? Is it really ironic?"

"What do you want from me?!" She snapped with a hot glare on her face. She couldn't take any more of her . "What the fuck do you want from me?! I want to be free from this wrecked world but you're distracting me with your lies, your Goddamn lies! Can't you see that i'm tired?!" She violently took the loop of her neck. "Can't you see that I'm tired of being here? Holding everything in? Can't you see that I'm tired of hallucinations keeping me company? Can't you see that I'm tired of my insanities?"

She watched silently as Alana got down to a sitting position, her shoulders shook uncontrollably. The tears flowed down her cheek freely in a haste, she held her tear stained face and sobbed as loud as she could. She didn't remember the last time she cried, not that she cared about that. She couldn't take this anymore, so many decisions, so many complications, so many wrong systems, they were all too much to bear and she couldn't hold on anymore.

"I'm just tired." She whispered softly, after minutes of sobbing and sniffing.

"Hey."

She slid her hands off her face. She squatted in front of her with her hands on each sides of her, her eyes fully concentrated on hers, like she was looking for something.

"Oh Alana." She called with a slight shake of her head. "What exactly do you want to do?"

She looked away and shook her head. "I don't know."

Alana didn't know exactly what she wanted. She wanted freedom and peace of mind but, she doesn't even know anymore. She doesn't know a fucking thing, she can't even set her own priorities straight. She was tired of feeling so much at the same time. Hell, she didn't want to think about anything either, she just wanted to be numb.

"You gotta make a choice, love." She tilted her head to the side. "I can't choose for you if that's the reason why you're holding me back. I may be your complete opposite but this is your choice to make, not a fragment of your imagination."

They both looked up at the loop that dangled above them, waiting for her choice to be made. They both waited for her to decide on what she wanted to do.

Alana sighed after a moment of silence before climbing on the chair once more, holding the loop in hands, she stared down at her .

She sat back down on her bed and picked up Stephanie. "Your choice, Alana."

She stared back at the bed sheet rope in her hands. Then sighed once again.

"I've made my decision."