The air conditioner made a low humming noise as the sun rays gave a bit of life to
her room. Stephanie rested on Alana's lap as she sat on the bed, right in front of her mirror.
She had been in that same position since the previous day, she didn't want to do anything or say anything.

It has been three good months since Sandor stepped foot into her home, she wasn't glad about it though. But of course, her parents won't understand, they'll never understand. It's not like they ever believed any word that came out of her mouth, the only person they'd rather listen to is her beloved brother that just got released from the hospital. A side of her lips curved up with a soft chuckle to the thought of how her art would look on his face, it will be a lovely sight to behold.

"Someone's happy."

She stared blankly at her reflection as she tossed her hair to the side and swung one leg over the other.

 "I'm just thinking."

"Not a new thing," she replied with an eye roll.

Alana looked away and wrapped her fingers around Stephanie's furry belly. The silence was a bit comfortable, which she was grateful for. Alana didn't want to start her Saturday morning with the beaming little pest.

Her eyes landed on the little yellow container that rested on the little fridge, the sight of it made her want to flip the fridge itself over. Her doctor had given her the drug last week, assured her that once she finishes her prescription by the end of the month, he won't show his face anymore.

It was a typical lie, of course.

Her mind wandered to some prescribed drugs she took, six years ago.

It was meant to help her with her insomnia, which it did. She loved how it made her feel so light for only a short moment , she loved how it magically cleared her head and cured her migraine.

Her drugs became her one way ticket to dream world, her world of nothing but a large space with colours crawling on walls, where she sits at the center and hums to one of her favourite songs from Celine Dion. It was absurd, it was confusing, it was meaningless.

It was paradise.

But Sandor ratted her out when he caught her trying to dispose six of its containers. Her parents stopped bringing them, one of her precious gift from this world of madness. She felt destroyed, like part of her was yanked out of her being. They brought a new drug for her insomnia but she refused to take it, she didn't know why but she wanted the other one so badly.

She demanded for her treasure, her one way ticket to euphoria. But they didn't listen to her pleas, they never listen to her pleas. She had finally gotten something that could take away that pain, only for them to take it out of her life.

She stood up, letting Stephanie drop on the carpeted floor soundlessly. Ignoring the stiffness of her legs, she walked towards the fridge before picking up her new prescribed drugs, the supposed drugs that would help her and take her out of here. She stared at the two weeks old drugs that were untouched. The twenty first drug of the year, ready to serve it's purpose.

She strolled to the bathroom and opened the lid before turning the little container over, letting its contents pour into the toilet before flushing it away, never to be seen again. She didn't know how long she had before her doctor would notice she has been getting rid of all her untouched prescribed drugs, but she didn't bother herself with it.

"You've been a naughty girl," she whispered in her ears.

Alana simply reached for the cabinet above her sink and brought out a pair of scissors before walking out to stand in front of the mirror. She didn't like how long her hair has grown, it disturbed her eyes a lot and she was sick of it. She wanted to get rid of it and she wanted to do it now.

"Throwing away drugs isn't good. Bad Alana," she giggled as she mirrored her movements of holding a large portion of her hair and cutting it out with no hesitation.

"I don't want them," she replied as she proceeded to cut the other large portion at her left side.

"You don't want to get better."

"They are just lies."

"Is it?"

Alana took out the last chunk of hair before tossing the now useless strands away, then stared at her rough pixie style hair. Some parts were uneven but it'd do. She looked completely different, her oval shaped face showed visibly well, so as her eyes. She looked different, but felt the same.

What did she expect anyway? Be happy that she took care of her headache? To make her feel a bit better since she's stuck in this room with no one but Stephanie? To block out the fact that she'll never get better? To push down the painful feeling of isolation and loneliness? She had so many questions, so many of them but she had no answer to any of them. She was tired of it all, she was tired of the fake pities, fake parents, fake sibling, fake friends.

Fake.

Fake.

Fake.

Everything began to bottle up in her chest but she had no idea of how to start screaming, yelling and breaking everything around her. Her emotions were beginning to have their tantrums in her mind. She couldn't tame them anymore, damn her insomnia, damn her Anxiety and Stress Disorder, damn her abnormal tempers, damn her, damn it all.

"Is it? Alana?" Her voice brought her back, guided her back to the sad reality. She saw a tear roll down her cheek, then realised she was crying as well. The only difference was the smile she had on her face as more tears flowed freely out of her eyes, which flickered down for a brief moment before meeting hers again.

It took a moment before Alana watched her reflection fully. cissors she was holding earlier had a little bit of blood, poised on her wrist. Slowly she looked down at the now blooded wrist, the droplets of blood landing on Stephanie's stuffed belly, creating a red dot in the middle.

Slowly, she stared back at her reflection that still had the same smile on her face. "You've been a naughty girl."

Her eyes lingered at her reflection before bending down to pick Stephanie off the ground. The blood on the scissors stained the stuffed panda more, but she didn't care. She looked back at the mirror, only to see her reflection mimicking her now stoic face. 

She's gone.

Now staring at her reflection with a bloodied panda and a bleeding wrist, the side of her lips curved upwards a little.

"I've been naughty alright."