"Your reflection in the mirror should be of the person you truly are and not of the person other people want you to be!"- Amalk807

A woman!

Which words could one use to describe a woman?

More so, what exactly made a good woman?

Was it her beauty?

Was it her character?

Or was it the huge number of sacrifices she made throughout her entire life?

These were just but a few of the millions of questions that kept crisscrossing Isma's mind as she sadly stared at herself in the mirror, being totally unimpressed with what she saw.

This was most definitely not her!

The very beautiful though almost figure hugging dress, the overly glittery hijab, her well done extremely light makeup along with the pink coloured lip gloss that brought more attention to her lips than needed.

Why did all of these feel so terribly wrong?

Well, simply because they were and the last thing she ever wanted was to adorn herself for a man other than her husband.

Husband!

The one word she detested with all of her heart.

The one word that made her feel extremely suffocated and made her feel trapped.

Trapped within a mind-set.

The longer she stared at herself in the mirror, the more and more she knew what she exactly did not want!

She did not want to get married!

She had her dreams. She had her aspirations. She had a passion.

The strongest, most uncontrollable passion for nothing else but architecture.

For as long as she could remember, she had always been someone who deeply believed that each and everything told a story.

That nothing was ever just mere stones and bricks.

That there was much much more to life and that was exactly what she wanted to discover.

She wanted to feel, she wanted to create, she wanted to tell a story.

Marriage was something that she had never considered to be a milestone.

Not now. Not ever.

With her mind all made up and with some now, newly profound eagerness, she quickly took of her makeup, rushed to her closet and pulled out the baggiest shirt and sweat pants she owned along with a plain black hijab and hastily put them on and this time upon seeing her reflection in the mirror, a warm smile couldn't help but light up her beautiful face.

Now this, made her happy!

Her thoughts were cut short when she heard her younger sister loudly yell her name from downstairs and she rolled her eyes while shaking her head in disbelief because she very well knew that the lazy little brat must have been told to come to all the way upstairs to call her but she just chose not to.

Annoying siblings!

Well, two could definitely play the same game.

"WHAT?" she too shouted back as she quickly tied the laces of her sneakers.

"GOSH! CAN YOU COME DOWN ALREADY?"

"NO BUT WHY?"

"YUSUF IS HERE!"

Her hands stilled momentarily, the smile on her face vanishing and she couldn't help but inhale sharply.

From the very little knowledge she had on romance or love or whatever, she knew that she was at least supposed to feel something upon learning of his presence or unbelievably worst still, upon hearing his name.

Wait, what exactly was it?

"Hearts skipping beats and butterflies in the stomach"!

Pssht! Yeah sure!

Well, she felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing!

Like a total zero!

All this only but made her more and more convinced about what she truly wanted for herself and gave her more confidence that whatever she was about to do was absolutely right.

Closing her bedroom's door gently behind her, she couldn't help but once again take in a sharp intake of air as she slowly made her way down the stairs.

Her eyes immediately met with Yusuf's who stood at the foot of the staircase waiting for her and she inwardly quivered when she noticed him literally do double take on her from head to toe, the huge frown on his face doing little to hide his strong disapproval.

"ISMA!" he hissed the second she made it down the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"What the hell are you wearing? We were supposed to be going out for dinner."

She stared down at her dirty sneakers in a kind of cute and timid way and after a few seconds of mustering enough courage, she asked him...

"What exactly is wrong with what I am wearing?"

"You look more like my grandma and a lot less like my wife to be. That is exactly what!"

"I think I look MODEST. Isn't that what truly matters?"

He was quite taken aback by her answer and for the next few seconds he was rendered speechless though at the same time, he did not fail to notice the silent challenge that lay deep within her eyes.

"What do you want?" he finally asked.

"I simply want to talk."

"About what?"

"About us!"

He angrily pinched the bridge of his nose while exhaling deeply, nothing but irritation etched all over his face.

"Listen Isma, I have got absolutely no time for nonsense and..."

"Can we please sit?" she asked not letting him finish.

"No!"

She gave him a real quick glance her heart clenching because the man that stood in front of her only but gave her more and more reasons to prove that he truly was not the one for her.

Just like every other man out there.

He didn't seem in the least bit concerned that she wanted to talk to him about them and more so, he even chose to turn a blind eye to the millions of emotions that were clearly evident on her face.

Knowing that everything would be futile if she showed him any of her soft spots or any kind of weakness, she slowly made her way to the dining room and as she silently poured both of them some drinking water, she closed her eyes in gratification when she heard him angrily pull out a chair to sit.

"Yusuf I..."

"Listen Isma, if this is one of those really stupid tantrums women throw about how they want their wedding to be or about a stupid wedding dress, I really don't care. I really don't care as long as you are not wearing that," he said while pointing at her outfit.

"I...I...Yusuf I don't...," she said as she sat down next to him and immediately cringed when he took her hand into his and tightly entwined them.

Her head snapped in the direction of the living room from where her father could easily see them and her heart literally sank because unfortunately for her, her father seemed more interested with watching the football game and even more so, with smoking his hookah.

"Yusuf please don't hold my han..."

"What is it Isma?"

"I don't want...," she struggled to say but the right words just wouldn't form.

Have you ever been at that point in life where you have so much to say?

There is so much you really want to put across but you just cannot?

No matter how confident you are?

That was exactly how she felt.

She tried to pull her hand away from his, tears staining the corner of her eyes because she knew that one of the main reasons she was not being able to openly pour her heart out was because of the man sitting right across from her.

Yusuf!

Her father's first and only choice.

Not hers!

She had known him right from childhood. They had been neighbours for as long as she could remember and years later when Yusuf had asked for her hand in marriage, her father had immediately agreed.

Without bothering asking her if she was happy.

If that was what she truly wanted.

"Yusuf, please I..."

"What is it my love?"

"I...I...don't want to get married," she finally said and cringed when the only reaction she got from him was of him throwing his head back in laughter.

She tightly shut her eyes due to how uncomfortable he made her feel as he gently caressed her hand with his thumb and no matter how hard she tried, she just wasn't able to remove it from his strong grip.

"Is this because I didn't call you all week?"

"NO!"

"Did I forget your birthday or something?" he said with a chuckle and she hated how he was trying to make everything seem like a joke.

Did he really think this lowly of her?

Did her really think that she could be this petty?

"First of all, it's obviously quite clear that we don't know each other too well and second most importantly, I want to follow my dreams and..."

"What do you mean by we don't know each other? We have known each other since childhood," he said not even letting her complete what she was trying to say.

"You really don't know me Yusuf. You only..."

"I KNOW YOU!"

"Okay fine then what really makes me happy Yusuf?" she asked and her heart only sank further when he replied with...

"Chocolates. Cadbury chocolates."

"No..."

"Of course it's roses. You women could kill for those silly plants."

She shook her head vigorously wanting to tell him that designing buildings- architecture was her passion and that was what truly made her eyes sparkle but before she could say anything, he beat her to it by asking, irritation clearly evident in his voice...

"FINE! I don't know what makes you happy Isma but do you know what makes me happy?"

"I...I...I don't," she said her head lowered not knowing how to tell him that she didn't know simply because...

She didn't want to.

"See? We are both basically the same and we have our entire life ahead of us for you to learn what makes me happy."

"I...I...I also want to work."

"Why?"

"I want to earn my own money. I want to make a differ..."

"My love. When did I say you will not have your own money? Il give you enough and you can do whatever you women like to do with it."

"Yusuf please I just...," she began while at the same time still struggling to get her hand away from his.

"FINE! You want to work then you can work. Are there any other wishes you would like me to fulfil?" he asked angrily having no plans of letting her hand go.

She shot him a quick glance, fire blazing in eyes.

Wait...

Did this man think he was doing her favour by letting her work?

What the hell did he even mean by if she had any other wishes he could fulfil?

He didn't believe in her.

Neither in her dreams.

"Can you fulfil my wish of not getting married to you?" she asked while looking at him straight in the eyes.

"NEVER!" he said as he angrily stood up, letting go of her hand and she immediately winced in pain when it hit the table with way too much force.

She watched him walk away and her heart only sank further as she watched him angrily talk to her father and with the way her father's voice kept getting louder and louder by the second, she knew one thing for sure...

Hell was about to break loose.

On her!

"ISMA!" shouted her father and she quickly wiped the sweat that had begun forming on her forehead as she rushed to the living room.

Her tear stained eyes met with those of Yusuf who immediately looked away, nodded his head at her father and then simply left.

Just like that!

Immediately they heard him drive away, Kareem turned towards his daughter his eyes spitting nothing but venom.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST HEAR FROM YUSUF?"

"Dad I just..."

"SHUT UP! JUST, SHUT UP OKAY!" he shouted so loudly that her mother and her two younger sisters all ran into the room to see what was happening.

"Just because you have a degree doesn't mean that you now know what is best for you. YOU ARE STILL LIVING IN MY HOUSE. DO YOU GET THAT?"

"I only want be happy," she whispered as tears began streaming down her face.

"YUSUF WILL KEEP YOU HAPPY!"

"Dad, I have other dreams. I want to..."

"IS THIS WHY I EDUCATED YOU? SO THAT YOU CAN..."

"THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EDUCATED ME DAD. MAYBE YOU JUST HAVE LET ME BE," she too shouted her emotions getting the better of her.

He immediately held her by the back of her neck, not caring if he was hurting her and said...

"NEVER EVER DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME AND YOU BETTER..." he shouted but wasn't able to finish because his phone began to ring and upon seeing it was Yusuf calling, he let her go.

"This is all your DAMN fault. Talk some sense into this daughter of yours before I come back and kill her," he said to his wife as he made his way out of the room.

"Isma, what do you really want? Why do you always have to be so difficult? Can't you see that your father only wants the best for you," whispered her mother.

"I don't want this, mum."

"Don't want what?"

"I don't want that one day in the future, when anything wrong happens, for my husband to be carelessly putting the blame on me just so as to satisfy his ego. I want..." she said but wasn't able to finish because her father walked back into the room at that very precise moment.

He glared at her, his face red with anger and then said...

"You are lucky that Yusuf is a good man."

"He has said that he will wait for you. We have both agreed that we will give you time. You can go chase all the nonsensical dreams you want and prove yourself as much as you want but after exactly ONE YEAR, you will have to get married and...

"You will marry no one else, other than Yusuf!"

***

PLEASE DO VOTE AND COMMENT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ISMA?

CAN'T WAIT TILL SHE MEETS HISHAM AND THE REST OF THE HOSSEINI BROTHERS?

ANY SHIPNAMES?

HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER.

UNTIL NEXT TIME,

ASALAM ALEIKUM.