One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was that of leaving my loved ones behind."- Hisham Hosseini.

Emotions.

Loads and loads of bottled up emotions.

That is exactly what Hisham had been hiding deep within his much fragile heart for the past four years.

As he finally stood in front of his family, each and every single moment of the hell he had been through came rushing back and his heart couldn't help but break...

Bit by bit.

Immense guilt, sadness and fear engulfed every inch of his body and he just didn't have the guts to make his eyes meet with any of them because deep down he knew that he had wronged them as well.

How?

By simply leaving them.

Leaving them without thinking.

Leaving them with nothing but questions.

Lots and lots of unanswered questions!

His had shot up the minute he heard his mother choke on tears and he immediately rushed to engulf her in the tightest hug ever.

The one of many things he had denied her for the longest time ever and the one thing he should have done the second he had walked in through the door

He tightened his arms around her, lifting her off the ground and he couldn't help but break down the moment he felt her tears wet his shirt.

"Hisham," she whispered.

"Mama!"

"You broke your promise Hisham. You broke your promise!"

His heart tightly clenched upon hearing her words and the only thing he could do was whisper back...

"I am very sorry Mama. I am very sorry!"

FLASHBACK...

A heavily pregnant Yasmin woke up from her sudden nap to ticklish sensations all over her body and it took her a great amount of effort not to burst out laughing upon realising that a tiny toy car was being driven all over her body by none of other than her dear five-year-old Hisham.

She tightly shut her eyes pretending to be fast asleep and the moment he began driving the car up her face, she playfully caught his hands and the brightest smile ever lit up her face when she heard him chuckle loudly.

"What do you think you are you doing, you little munchkin?" she asked as she tickled his sides and laughed when he replied with...

"DRIVING!"

"All over your Mama?"

"The baby was really bored!" he said and smiled when he heard his mother laugh.

"Was he now?"

"You really have to think about him sometimes you know?"

"Now, why is that so hard to remember?" she asked while placing her hand on her overly large baby bump.

He made a futile attempt to raise one of his eyebrows at her, something he had been trying to learn from his father and Yasmin couldn't help but smile at how much resemblance he actually shared with Hussein.

"So how exactly were you playing with the baby?" she asked.

"He was the bump!"

"And you both chose for Mama to be the road?" she asked amusedly.

"Yep!"

"Whatever happened to the floor?"

"It's way more fun driving on you," he replied and burst into giggles when she once again began to tickle his sides.

She sat up straight, letting out a huge sigh as she tried to reach for her feet to remove her socks and her heart literally warmed up because the minute he saw her struggling, he quickly reached out to help her without her even asking him.

He let out a loud gasp upon seeing her much swollen feet and he immediately asked...

"Whoa! When did your feet become so fat, Mama?"

"I...It...umm...well, it's because of the beautiful baby growing in Mama's stomach."

He remained silent for a while, throwing a much disappointed look her way after which he said...

"Please don't blame the baby."

"What? But...

"You shouldn't have eaten him."

"I will definitely keep that in mind next time. Sorry Hisham," she said, covering her mouth with her hands in a bid to prevent herself from bursting into laughter.

She then made an attempt to stand up only for him to quickly pull her back down.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the kitchen."

"But why?"

"Well, it's almost dinner time and we need to fill this little tummy of yours," she said with a smile and immediately rolled her eyes when he responded with...

"I am full."

"No, you are not!"

"Yes, I am."

"No, you are absolutely not!"

"Yes, I absolutely am!"

"Hisham?"

"Mama?"

"Hishaaaaam."

"Mamaaaaa."

"I will make myself jam sandwiches. Five of them. Promise," he quickly added.

"Fine! Only for today and I want to see you having them right this minute," she said giving in because in all honesty, going to the kitchen was the last thing she really wanted.

She didn't know why but with this second pregnancy of hers, all she wanted to do was eat, sleep and the only the thing and I mean the only thing that had the ability to energize her was...

The tantalizing smell of pineapples!

To which she had absolutely no idea as to why considering they were not even her favourite type of fruit.

She smiled at Hisham when she saw him rush back into the living room with a loaf of bread and a jar of jam in his hands and once he had successfully spread enough jam on all five slices, he rushed towards her wanting her to take the very first bite.

Tears stained as she took a bite not at all being able to understand how a five-year-old could have so much love and respect in his heart.

"Hisham?" she called out to him.

"Yes, Mama?

"You do know that you are my favourite baby right?"

A look of alarm instantly crossed his innocent face and he quickly whispered while pointing towards her stomach...

"Shhhh! Don't say that! The baby might hear you and feel bad!"

She let out a sad laugh, tears still clouding her eyes after which she pulled him to sit right next to her so that she could closely watch him eat.

"Mama," he said as he began eating his third slice.

"Yes, Habibi?"

"Never leave me, please."

"I would never," she quickly replied not knowing as to why he had thought of saying that.

She quickly wiped away the tears that were threatening to spill out of her eyes and she didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones making her or what because she also ended up saying...

"Hisham!"

"Yes, Mama?"

"Promise that you will never leave me as well."

"I pinky promise Mama."

Years later, whenever they would joke about how he had though she had eaten Yasir, Yasmin would always remind him of the promise he had made as a five-year-old and every single time, Hisham would only reply with...

"I STILL PROMISE, MAMA!"

But then again...

Maybe some promises were always meant to be broken!

***

He continued hugging tightly her for the longest time ever and only let her go when he felt that she had stopped crying afterwich he placed a long and loving kiss on her forehead and sadly smiled when she said...

"And just look at you! You have become exactly how a pizza crust should be. Extremely thin!"

"Well, I have absolutely no doubts with your culinary abilities to literally top me up."

His heart melted slightly when he heard her finally laugh, his tear stained eyes drifting to Yasir.

Yasir!

The one person and maybe the only person, who fully owned his heart and for the first time in his life, he really didn't know how to approach him.

Him and Yasir had always been a constant in each others lives no matter what and deep down, he knew that out of everyone, it was Yasir who must have been affected the most with him leaving.

If he was to be very honest, then not even a single day nor a single second had passed in the past four years, that he hadn't thought of his baby brother.

Every single time he had thought of letting go of the past and coming back to the one person whom he knew for sure looked up to him, nothing but guilt and shame had held him back.

He lightly touched his brother's hand not really knowing what to say and his heart literally broke into two when Yasir instantly pulled him towards himself and broke down on his shoulder, crying his heart out like a child.

"Yasir...," he whispered as he pulled his brother closer towards him.

"You're the worst Akhi ever..."

That word Akhi.

As soon as Yasir called him that, he shut his eyes tightly, tears streaming down his face because it was only him who truly knew how much his turmoiled heart had longed to hear that very specific word.

The name Akhi gave him some sort of peace.

It made him feel grounded and it gave him some kind of assurance that he had a place in his brother's heart.

"Am I that horrible that you sent these two idiots to get me deported?" he asked.

"I...they...I wanted...," said Yasir in between tears.

"Plus why does Khaleel keep glaring at me and asking me to pay up for ten large boxes of pizza?" he asked as he wiped away Yasir's tears.

Yasir let out a laugh making Hisham smile because as much as he was broken inside he just couldn't stand seeing his brother cry his eyes out in front of him.

"I honestly cannot remember having ten large pizzas before I left and secondly from which hole did you get Imran? Send him back before I kill him!"

Yasir let out another laugh deep down being reminded as to why he loved and had missed his brother so much.

It was because of the laughter.

It was because of the happiness.

Two things Hisham always created for everyone no matter where he went.

He then engulfed his elder in another big tight hug and whispered in his ear...

"I missed you terribly Akhi. I really missed you terribly. You are the one I love the most, don't you ever forget that and also never tell Yumnah I said that."

Yasir's words engulfed with just a bit more guilt and shame and all he really wanted was to fall on his knees and cry his heart out.

He still couldn't believe that he locked out all of them for the past four years.

As he turned to face Yumnah, it took a great amount of effort for him to send a genuine and happy smile her way because of how truly broken he felt but luckily for him, it was Yumnah and the second he had fully faced her, she sent him the warmest smile ever which of course way too hard not to reciprocate.

"Stupid Yusra!" he said and she immediately laughed.

"Braceface!"

"Has my brother been taking good care of you?"

"Let's just say I have a very long list of complaints."

"They must be only good complaints then. It's Yasir we are talking about."

He shook his head when she stuck her tongue out at him while playfully rolling her eyes and when he finally turned to face his father, he couldn't help but gulp.

To say that awkwardness reigned the room would be a complete understatement.

With the way his father was shooting nothing but daggers at him, he just didn't know if it was appropriate at all to hug him or even say hi.

Luckily or unluckily for him, the second their eyes met, Hussein ended saying only one thing...

"I AM GOING TO SHRED YOUR PASSPORT AND BURY THE PIECES MYSELF!"

As much as he had known that he was going to have to face his past, he did not at all expect to relive it.

Each and every horrifying moment from his dreadful past slapped him right across the face the very moment he saw her.

It couldn't be.

This was not what he needed right now.

A lump formed in his throat and for a few seconds he breathlessly watched her rush down the stairs, skipping a stair at a time, the cutest smile he had ever seen, on her face.

It was all exactly how he had imagined it to be - with his daughter.

Out of instinct, he slightly spread out his arms for her and his heart literally sank as a tear trickled down his face when instead of rushing into his arms, she went and circled her tiny arms around Yasir's leg.

His heart broke as he stared at her, realization dawning upon him when he saw...

The dark hazel eyes.

She wasn't his!

She was Yasir's!

His own child was or rather had been...

"Akhi?" Yasir called out breaking him out of his reverie of thoughts.

"Ye...yes Yasir?"

"This is Minha. My daugh..."

"Yours?" he asked sadly.

"OURS," Yasir replied boldly but that did nothing to soothe his broken heart.

He had way too many open and unhealed wounds, this being his biggest one!

Little Minha shyly stood behind her father, her arms still wrapped around one of his legs and from time to time, she would cutely peep at her uncle, the most adorable smile on her face.

Once she had gotten used to his presence and upon her father's continuous persistence that she should say Salam, she reached out for Hisham's hand, cutely looked up at him and whispered...

"Amo Hisham!"

"She...she knows me?" asked Hisham being completely taken aback.

"Why wouldn't she?

"I...I..."

Words escaped him and after being overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions, all he could do was scoop her in his arms no matter how much her existence...

Tortured him.

As they all began to slowly head into the house, Imran playfully hit Yasir's shoulder while staring cheekily staring at Yumnah.

"Bro..."

"What?" asked Yasir.

"I cannot believe..."

"Cannot believe what?"

Khaleel immediately rolled his eyes at Imran and quickly whispered to Yumnah...

"Take it from me. This guy is crazy. If even for a second the thought of killing him crosses your mind, just know I am FULLY IN!"

"I just cannot believe," Imran continued, his eyes now continuously drifting between Yasir and Yumnah.

"Believe what Imran?" asked Yasir confusedly.

"I cannot believe you ended up marrying the girl in the pink hijab!"

"She is the one who couldn't take her eyes off you, years ago!"

***

Torment.

Inexplicable torment.

That is exactly what Yumnah could have easily assumed Hisham was going through every single time Minha touched or worse still, even neared him.

She had noticed how he would freeze every time Minha would try to talk to him and what had not escaped her eyes was how he had let out a huge sigh of relief the moment she had called out for Minha to go to bed.

It was almost like he detested her but then...

It was Hisham.

She knew him as a person who had the most beautiful heart and plus...

He had always loved children!

Different kind of assumptions crossed her mind as she began picking everyone's empty tea cups only for more confusion to settle in her heart upon finding Hisham's cup still filled with tea to the brim.

This was so unlike him.

"Hisham?" she called out.

Silence.

"Hisham?"

Silence.

"HISHAAAM?" she called out a bit loudly and was taken aback with how he almost jumped back in fear.

"Tea..."

"What?"

"You didn't drink your tea."

"Oh!"

"Would you like me to warm..." she asked but stopped when he got hold of the cup with trembling hands and gulped down all of the cold tea.

He was overcome with much shame and couldn't help but look away when he noticed how her and the entire family stared at him with surprise etched all over their faces.

"I think we should all call it a day," said Hussein as he began to stand up, hoping to clear all the awkward tension in the room only for Hisham to quickly stop him.

"Wait...I...I know you all have many questions. I am ready to..."

"NO!" they all replied in unison, Yasir placing his hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

"You don't have to Hisham. What matters to us is that you are finally back. You don't have to...," said Khaleel only for Hisham to cut him off.

"No, I have to do this. I want to do this. It's already suffocating me. You have no idea..."

They all remained silent as they waited for him to continue and after taking in a huge breath of air and with his eyes closed, he said...

"Zulekha killed my unborn child..."

"IT WAS A GIRL!"

***

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HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER. I PUT A LOT OF EFFORT INTO IT

I PRAY YOU ARE ALL WELL DURING THESE TRYING TIMES.

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UNTIL NEXT TIME,

ASALAM ALEIKUM.