Few Days Later

Gauri Khanna, she had never fully realized she began to address herself as such until that morning when she signed that name while receiving delivery parcel for her mother.

And just like that her mood turned dimmer because the few days she has left to confide everything to Arnav was getting nearer each passing night , the hopeful look in him every time he visits is enough to send her on a downward spiral of emotions each day.

She should just tell him now that she won't stay married to him because she will never be one to him in literal  sense, she should tell him that she will always love him but she refuse to shackle him to her because of that love, she should tell him to move on from her and marry someone else ,and that would be the hardest thing to tell him because one he moved on, she will lose him forever .

And yet she held on to her silence selfishly because she wanted to be around him for few more days, it was why she smiled back when she heard his footsteps as she turned to greet him . Just a few more days she promised herself as she greeted him with words as well as her smile.

"Lavanya wanted us to come for the dance practice for the Sangeet " he told her after few minutes and she was shaking her head in answer.

Gauri knew he won't be able to dance and she wasn't going to dance with anyone else, so the point of visiting for practice was moot until he spoke up again changing her mind.

"Last I heard, his mother moved back from the hospital two weeks ago  fully recovered  , seeing Rahul will make them happy I guess we did promise to allow them a glimpse of Rahul " he spoke up reminding her of the last visit where she met Rahul grandparents.

She wanted to say no but realized Arnav was right that she wasn't going to keep her son away from then for no faults of theirs and Arnav was right a casual visit to their neighbour house would give them plenty of time to see her son by coincidence.

And so they went to Lavanya family  house just like last time, and she was happy to see all of them were gathered already and her eyes found her best friend dancing with her groom as well as drifted towards Kavya who had lost the smile on her face at the sight of them .

" I already texted them , I will take Rahul out to play so they can meet him for few minutes " Arnav spoke up and left her alone and it was the reason she choose to walk towards Kavya to keep her company. 

Gauri knew it wasn't easy for Kavya to be around her, which had been the reason Gauri made it an habit to be around her as much as possible not to make her suffer more but to ensure she gets comfortable around her soon then let the guilt create more distance between them .

" Where did Bhai and Rahul leave ?" Kavya asked her and Gauri felt a relief that they haven't lost common ground of topics to speak considering she was married to her brother, bit briefly she wondered if the new found friendship will stand against test of time for the second time when she walked away from her brother again. But before she could answer another voice called out to them gaining their attention .

" I am in need of a dance Partner, " A familiar voice chimed in making Gauri turn towards Akash , Lavanya's friend.

" Wanna dance Gauri ?" Akash offered his hand towards her instead surprising her, Gauri knew Kavya and Akash were not really dating,  but still him asking her made her wonder if he was trying to make Kavya jealous .

" No , I don't dance," Gauri declined as she shook her head in answer, but Akash continued to pester for a few minutes that Gauri was relived when Kavya intervened on her behalf.

"Akash, not everyone falls for your sweet words, and since you are my fiancée let me take pity on you and allow you to dance with me ," Kavya spoke up, making Gauri wonder if Kavya was just helping her out from saying No or if she was tiny bit jealous that Akash ignored her as well .

"Who said I want to dance with you ," Akash reply made Kavya face fall and before Gauri could understand Akash motive , her best friend Lavanya stumbled upon the arguing couple, who suddenly stopped their argument as Akash led Kavya back to the dance floor as if the argument never happened while allowed Gauri to sneak back to the couch and sit before anyone again ask her to dance and she was forced to say no all over again .

*****************

It was around fourty minutes later Gauri began to worry a little, she wasn't truly alone in the couch as everyone few minutes someone came and sat beside her to talk but they always started the question with where was her husband and son.

She trusted Arnav with Rahul, still she wasn't keen on her son spending time with his grandparents, they had assured not to reveal their identity the last time she met them and she knew they would keep the promise yet she was concerned that truth of his birth will be revealed to her son when he wasn't grown up enough to understand anything.

Gauri knew her fears were baseless and yet she continued to worry until she saw the next dancing couple that stopped by the couch who happened to be the bride and the groom . And it was no surprised Lavanya,  her best friend asked the same question as the rest of them .

"Went for a walk together, " Gauri answered back, and smiled at her friend when  she sat beside her in the couch ,followed by Vihaan her fiancee who sat next to his bride.

"Bhai, I want to change my partner " the screaming voice belonged solely to Anjali Singh who marched straight up to Vihaan and Gauri was still surprised that the little girl she had known was all grown up to close to a teenager now.

Anjali Singh was adopted when she was five by her parents and yet held on Vihaan as her brother because her parents realized the bond they had shared with each other. Vihaan and Anjali may not be related by blood just like Gauri and Ishaan ,but they are siblings who loved unconditionally.

It was amusing to see Anjali and Vihaan talk with each other while the former complained about the dance partner who happened to be too tall for her and how the conversation drifted to how she need a boyfriend like Meera who happened to be Gauri's brother Ishaan's girlfriend .

" It doesn't matter , how old where you when you began dating bhai and you Gauri di ,how old where you when you first began to date ?" Anjali was on a roll as she asked them waiting for someone to choose her side of arguments and Gauri focused on the little girl when she even used her name to justify her arguments .

" You knew how old your bhai was when we start dating Anjali, because you were just five and I am sure you have grown up enough to calculate , with regards to Gauri , she had wait till she turn 18 before my cousin took her out on a date , and Yuv waited till your sister turned 18 as well , it kind of a tradition now as Ishaan is waiting for Meera to turn 18 as well , " Lavanya, her best friend spoke up trying to calm down the little one who failed to be impressed by their argument that her brother had to step up from his seat and deal with his almost crying sister .

" Have we ever been that young , where our problems are about the lack of boyfriend ?" Lavanya asked Gauri, the moment the brother and sister duo walked away from the couch to talk in Private.

" No,  because I had one from an very early age and Kavya had her choose of the one. And you were never really in an rush to find him , poor Vihaan had to wait for five years before your paths crossed again ," Gauri answered back with a smile, because she never faced the same dilemma as Anjali as she knew from the moment Arnav held her hand as she walked to talk with her step father back then he was intertwined in her life leaving no space for anyone else .

Gauri was little lost in thought that it took her a moment to see Lavanya looking at Kavya and Akash dancing together, she understood her friend dilemaa. When Arnav and Gauri dated Lavanya was the best cupid she could have asked for but when they broke up it had been hard on her friend.

And now she  again have to face the thought of her friend and cousin dating together, because looking at Kavya and Akash it did feel like they were really dating not just pretending.

" Don't worry about them , Kavya is grown up now unlike Anjali who still is little to be restricted by her father , Arjun uncle can't keep her from following her heart ," Gauri answered back trying to reassure her in her own way .

Fortunately a little bundle of joy ran towards her  that caught her attention  next as Gauri lifted her son on to her lap . It was just less than an hour but she missed her son too much and was relieved to be greeted by his smile face.

On her Peripheral line of sight she knew Arnav joined them and was talking with Lavanya , but she couldn't hear them as her mind was focused on her son retelling her about his adventure of meeting the grandfather who played with him and the cookies he ate on his adventure.

Gauri was too interest in her son adventure that she wasn't prepared for his voice calling out to her few minutes later, nor was she prepared to see his hand stretched out to her in an gesture similar to Akash an hour ago asking her for an dance .

Gauri looked a him and then noticed his leg and shook her head because she wasn't going to cause him more pain for few minutes of happiness, because inspite of how prepared she had been to stay on the couch ,she had wanted to dance with him for few fleeting moments earlier .

But he hadn't taken his hand back, and was waiting for her to give him an reason and she knew he will wait for eternity with patience and so said the first reason the came to her mind , Rahul who can't be left alone and yet forgot her best friend Lavanya who was seated next to her .

Lavanya had been more than glad to look after Rahul for few minutes and she was quick to offer the words and which left her with no reason to say no , so she spoke to her son to stay with Lavanya for a whole and placed her hand gently on his still outstretched palm hesitantly.

There was no speaker that played songs as everyone was using wireless headphone to listen to the songs that they were supposed to dance for the Sangeet and Ishaan her brother rushed to offer them his and Meera's headphone the moment she walked near the dancing couples.

And then she noticed how everyone eyes were locked with them ,it wasn't nosy in the least but they were all invested in their relationship as well as Gauri and Arnav happiness ,again the prickle of guilt made her wonder how every one will feel if she walked away this time,  but she couldn't think on it for long because she was in his arms the next moment and she forgot everything else  except him .

She still remembers the first time he danced with her when they were kids, it was for the annual cultural show in her school and kavya had dragged him to help them with their practice, he had been so very patient with the three of them back then and not annoyed that his little and her friend were demanding his time.

And the brief period of time they dated had been pure bliss and she remembered dancing with him, every chance they get and how happy she had been to be in his arms and dream about their future.

Even the club that ultimately led her to the nightmare held few memories of her and him, the first time he took all three of them to the club and how protective he had been from keeping everyone else away from them.

She refused to admit it but sometime she had wondered if he had been around, she wouldn't have been through the ordeal but as her doctor Sharmila used to say what if or something very common in cases like her but the end she had to hold on the fact ,she was alive and survived than let the past or what if keep her from moving on. 

The same silly dream she had as teenager was back now when she was in his arms, over time she had began to draw comfort from touch unlike the first year after that event, her father hug made her feel safe , Arun hug made her feel not alone, Ishaan hug made her feel strong and Rahul hug made her feel loved but with Arnav, it always meant more than just comfort, safety and love .

Because twirling in his arms, she had to admit what her young shy self was unable to pin point , with him she felt the flicker of desire as well and the knowledge that the aspect of her wasn't gone as she imagined was a rude awakening to her that she almost slipped from the clumsiness of the step and only his strong arms kept her from falling to the ground .

" Are you okay Gauri ?" his voice held the concern as she gripped his shirt in her hands to get hold of her emotions that were running wild.

Just a fleeting moment of desire wasn't enough to prove she was ready to move on, and it wasn't enough to risk everything in hope of a future with him but in his arms she was back to the young girl who dreamed of a future with him and didn't want to give him up or live a life without him.

" Do you want to stop ?" he asked her again but she shook her head in answer because even though she was so scared, she wanted to have this moment with him and she will think whether it was just her suppressed emotions of her younger self  that made a brief appearance tonight or if there is a tiny choice of her having her dream become real after all .

P.S : " That it for now . Let me know your thoughts and feedback. Hit the votes if you liked it "

Juanita Reid