Note: " The following update may contain sensitive content. I won't be explicit in the information. But if you had read the previous update, you will be aware of the following contents. To those who don't like to read it, do skip this part. As a reader, I do have a comfort level for my books and know everyone has different levels. If you are underage skip it, please. 

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" He raped me, " Gauri spoke up the three words she never said to anyone else except her psychiatrist. She never had to tell her father because he was the one who found her that night, and her mother never asked her to voice it out either because she had been too distraught by the event. Her brother had been a child, that he probably wouldn't have understood her past. Arun was different. He knew her story because she alluded to the event then spell it out. But with Arnav, she spoke those words out loud. Maybe to shock him from further demanding any answers from her. And it worked. Because for the next hour, he didn't say a single word but let her cry on his shoulders. She stopped crying about thirty minutes ago. But she didn't want to step back from him and face the questions in his face.

" Are you okay Gauri, ?" the question came from her mother. She had been hovering around them for the last hour. Gauri knew her mother was keeping her distance for the sake of her privacy. But it had been close to an hour that she grew from concerned to worried. Gauri didn't want to continue making her worry. So she stepped back from Arnav with a fleeting smile directed towards her mother.

 " I am fine mom," Gauri answered back as she walked towards her mother leaving Arnav behind, she had hoped he would leave now that he finally got his answer on why she is so messed up. But she underestimated him because he didn't leave but rather stayed where he was standing a few minutes ago.

" I am fine Arnav, you can leave now, " Gauri spoke up trying to keep her voice from betraying the emotions she felt at addressing him after the realization he knows her secret now. And had been slightly disappointed when he left with his grandmother but before she left, his grandmother walked towards her to envelop her in a hug and whispered in her ear that she wasn't alone and she got all of them as her family. It meant a lot to hear from his grandmother who didn't seem to be taken back by Gauri's outburst earlier.  

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Arnav had never felt so helpless as today, he didn't know what to say or do when confronted with his emotion that very running wild. One minute he wants to cry and the next second he wants to punch someone possibly himself forever leaving her alone. He didn't think of himself as a hero who could have prevented it if he was around but he should have been around because she needed him back then and he failed her.

     
His Grandmother hardly said a word as they drove back home, she was probably reeling from the shock of it as well but for Arnav it was more than a shock. On the battlefield he had seen death and cruelness, he thought nothing could surpass those dark points until the realization that something held more power than that when the death or cruelness visited those he loved. He hardly said a word to his grandmother until they reached home and it was only then she turned to speak to him.

    
" Go back to her Arnav. She didn't need to think you were incapable of handling the truth, what happened was horrible and tragic but it would be worse if she thinks you would look at her differently, go back and show her that nothing changed between you two because she would need that assurance from you, I know it must be a lot to ask from you at this moment when you could hardly think straight but each minute you delay, she will build a wall around her heart and you can never breach it again, she trusted you with her past and you must trust yourself to make sure it didn't come between you both ."  his grandmother words registered in his mind and he realized she had been right, he thought she would want some time alone to feel better and he left because she asked him but if it was her way of shutting him down then he needs to make sure it didn't happen.

         
As he drove back home after asking his grandmother to keep it between them for now, he wondered if he was already too late. He was relieved to find Gauri still in the living room not shut up in her room and the reason must be probably because Rahul was with her, even now when she was emotionally vulnerable she was trying to make sure her son didn't learn about it. He didn't think it was possible but at the moment he loved her all the more for it.  

       
Rahul rushed to his side when he saw Arnav on the doorstep, but his eyes remained focused on his wife, he registered the surprise in her face at the sight of him and he had been glad he heeded to the words of his grandmother, he carried Rahul back to her and sat beside her as if nothing changed, he noticed she grew bit stiff at first but slowly relaxed as time passed. Rahul acted as a buffer between them that an hour passed by without them saying a word to each other

     
The moment Rahul asked Arnav if he would tell him the bedtime story, he looked taken back as his eyes searched for answers, he may be getting better with the sign language but not as good as telling a story to Rahul. As if understanding his dilemma, Gauri's mom stepped in with the promise to tell a new story to her grandson which let Arnav off the hook but also alone with Gauri for the first time since he arrived, he knew Ishaan was in his room and Gauri father hadn't arrived back home yet.  

     
" Shall we go out for a drive?" Arnav spoke up surprising himself, he remembered Gauri loves towards the long drive and wasn't sure it was still something she loved but he need to get her out of the house if he wanted to be just two of them without interruption, she only nodded her head in answer and stepped inside her son room to bid him goodnight. 

     
The silence that engulfed them on the ride wasn't suffocating but rather liberating in a sense, it reminded him about the times they went for a long ride. When he first got his father permission to use his car, he had taken it out often on his date with Gauri. In a technical sense, they dated only a few months but he was in love with her for so long that it never felt that way to him. 

     
He knew her from the time she walked inside his house as a friend of his cousin Lavanya, at the grand age of nine to his six, he was the one tasked with looking after the younger ones, even though his cousin had been adopted and spend most of her life in an orphanage, she had an innocence to her that was childlike unlike Gauri who had always looked way to grown-up for her age, there used to be a hint of sadness in her every time he met her that often it felt like she was the grown-up among them. And yes they became friends of sorts as the years passed by until he fell in love with her at the grand age of 17. 

 
" Do you want to know how it happened ?" it was the first statement from her that surprised him, his hands clutched the steering wheel with force as his brain contemplated if he was ready for the entire truth, he didn't want to learn about it because it would hurt him but if his grandmother was right then she needs to be able to tell him everything without worrying whether it would change of he looked at her.

  " Gauri, I am right here if you want to tell me but only if you want to speak about it. Just because I know about it doesn't mean you have to tell me anything more than you want to share," he answered back earning a fleeting smile from her at his words. He knew driving when she was telling him would probably be a reckless move on his part as his emotions will tend to run high, so he parked the car and waited for her to speak up instead. 

  " It was the day after my graduation, Lavanya insisted that we should celebrate and dragged Kavya with us as well. As you know Kavya blamed me for our breakup and Lavanya was trying to get us back to being friends " Gauri spoke up and he felt guilty for being the reason for the rift between them, he had been the one to mess up not Gauri. At his silence, she continued speaking.

" We went to a  dance Club, Vihaan was supposed to join us but he had to cancel at the last minute because his sister got sick and he wanted to be with her, we didn't think it was dangerous to go alone, we three were together and it wasn't like any of us were going to drink. It was just supposed to be all about dancing, we didn't think it was going to any different from the last time we went with you " Gauri spoke up and immediately stop speaking as she realized he mentioned his name, yes it was partially his fault that he had encouraged his sister to be brave and attend any parties she wanted because he had always been around to keep them safe. 

  When Arnav decided to join the army, his sister was upset with him that he had taken her to the dance club along with Lavanya and Gauri back when they were still dating, he had assumed they would never venture out without him, and he knew they didn't plan to do so as they had asked Vihaan, Lavanya fiancee to go with them. It just one of the times when people assume it would be safe until it turned out to be different. 

" What happened ?" he asked her when she got silent at the mention of him. Because as much as he wishes he didn't have to learn how the night went wrong, he knew she needed to tell him.

" He was there in the club that night, he walked towards our table and spoke to me since we knew each other, his words implied we were dating or something. I assumed it was because he was trying to show off to his friends that he wasn't single since I always made sure to tell him. I didn't feel that way about him. I didn't correct him in front of his friends, which backfired as Kavya got angry after he left, she blamed me for moving on and dating someone. I told her it wasn't true but she refused to believe me, I was just too tired of being opposite of her anger for the last two years that I wanted to hurt her right back.

  Now looking back it was childish of me and I should have known Kavya won't take it lightly but back then I was just angry, so I said she was right and that I was dating him for six months and it been close to two years since we broke up, And she didn't say a word for a while that I was worried and was about to tell her the truth but before I could she walked towards the bar side and began to drink, Lavanya went to stop her but Kavya refused to listen and claimed she is used to it in college. That Lavanya had to drag her back to our table after Kavya got too drunk and told us that we need to leave. 

I felt guilty to see her drunk but held back from telling her the truth because she probably won't remember it in the morning. But when we got to the car that when the chaos broke as she refused to let me get into the car. She claimed it was her father's car and I was no longer allowed in it. Lavanya tried to reason with her but Kavya claimed she would drive on her own even without her. Since Kavya was drunk, Lavanya had no choice but to drive her home. 

Again I knew that Lavanya didn't technically choose Kavya over me, but yet I felt angry to be the one bearing the brunt of our break up when you were forgiven because you were risking your life for the country. I called dad to come and pick me up, and since I didn't want to wait in the parking lot alone, I went back inside to wait. That when he spotted me standing alone and came to talk with me.

He first apologized for lying in front of his friends and that he would really like a chance to date me, I felt uncomfortable rejecting him again but something must have flickered in my face that he knew my answer remained unchanged, I felt him get angry or more like he somehow hated me at the moment but then he smiled that I assumed that I was just imagining it. He offered to get me a non-alcoholic drink and even offered to drive me back home, since I didn't want to reject both options, I agreed to the drink.

 The next thing I remember is waking up in an unknown bed, I knew something was wrong it was instinctive even before I saw him sitting on the opposite side of the bed clutching his head. He apologized the moment he found I was awake, I  was just too scared and confused you know that all I  kept saying was the I  want to go home. I wasn't thinking straight, truth I wasn't even thinking anything, I had no memory of what happened but I know what happened that it freaked me out. 

When I  tried to get up from the bed, I realized I was without my clothes that was the first time, it became so real that I screamed in fear and he didn't want anyone to hear. So he walked towards me to make me quiet until then he stood few feet away from me that I panicked and got hold of the nearest object at hand which happened to be the lamp and held the blanket as a shield around me to cover myself, something must have clicked in his brain at the moment that letting me out meant everyone else will know about it until then all he cared about was to get me to forgive him.

   
He kept saying that his dad can't find out and it would disappoint him, I didn't know what to say except try to find a way to walk away from the room even when he was in my path. He can't find out, all I remember is that line being said over and over until he moved towards me in quick strides and began to choke me, I hit him with the lamp but my aim missed and it fell on the floor, he was stronger than me and I couldn't push him away until the door opened and my father walked inside, the pain in his eyes was the last thing I saw before I fainted. 

 When I woke up this time on a hospital bed and saw my mother hovering new me that when I began to cry until then it felt like a nightmare or a bad dream but the sight of my mother pain brought in the truth, I cried and cried until I  didn't have any tears left. Later I learned that he tried to use me as a shield to escape and his father who was one of the policemen with my father that night, had to shoot him, the bullet hit his shoulder but the sight of his father made him go crazy it seems that he jumped from the window of the hotel. The case was closed as suicide since that was what happened " Gauri finished speaking up and he knew he had been crying because at that point he held no control over his emotions, he should have been the one to comfort her instead he felt her hand on his shoulders as she noticed he was affected by what he heard.

 " It okay Arnav, it happened a long time ago" Gauri spoke up, he got out of the car and walked to her side of the car, he opened the door from outside and waited for her to get down. She was confused by his actions but got down from the car and looked at him wondering what was going through his mind.

" I just need to hold you for a moment, " he spoke up, and gathered her into his arms, he wasn't the one offering her comfort as he planned but he needed to hold her to feel she saw safe. He needed to hold her to reassure himself. She didn't say anything but held on to him, gently patting his back as if he was the one who went through that horrible night not her. She always had been strong, he knew that but until this moment he never knew just how much she survived over the years. 

" I am fine Arnav," She kept whispering to him as he held on to her.  But he knew she wasn't fine, she may have survived and she may have been stronger but she still held the scars from that night, everything about her made sense now. Her panic attacks, her reactions towards strangers, and then he finally had stumbled upon something else that defined her. Her son and her hasty marriage. 

"Arun wasn't Rahul's father " he whispered quietly to himself but she must have heard it as she stiffened in his arms, she was about to push him away he knew that so held her bit tightly as he spoke up yet again.

" It doesn't change anything Gauri. Rahul is our Son" he spoke up willing her to believe him, he may not have heard about everything else that happened after that night but he was willing to wait for it. Right now she needs to know it would never define the way on how he saw Rahul, just like how it would never change on how he looked at her.  

His grandmother told him. Gauri would be worried that he may see her differently after the truth, but he knew that wasn't the case. She hadn't been worried about her, but her son. She wouldn't want anyone to view Rahul differently and he had been so thankful that she believed him because the next moment she relaxed against as him. 

He gently kissed her forehead as he held on to her, because now that he got her back in his life. He won't make the mistake of letting her go. She had let down her defense and told him everything and now it was up to him to make sure to not let her down. Because he loves her and never stopped loving her from the age of 17. 

P.S:" That is it for now..Let me know your thoughts and feedback.Hit the votes if you liked it "

Love

Juanita Reid